/cfc/

/cfc/
FUCK ARSENAL, FUCK LIVERPOOL, FUCK TOTTENHAM
/cfc/ - Chelshit Football Club
Founded March 1905 IRL manager gimi !!cwmWrzo53n+ Team colors Chat color 034694 Royal Blue Top scorer N/A (N/A) Top assister N/A (N/A) Captain DROGBA Website /cfc/ - Chelshit Football Club Nickname The Blues The Pensioners
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 0 0 0 0 0%
GF GA GD 0 0 0
Biggest win TBD  0–0  TBD Month Day, Year Biggest defeat TBD  0–0  TBD Month Day, Year First match TBD  0–0  TBD Month Day, Year
Team music
Anthem The Liquidator Victory Anthem Blue is the Colour Goal horn Loadsamoney
Kits

some mid table team from the eplel idk

Squad

No. Position Player 1 GK Dinosaur Arms 26 CB *Fucks your wife* 30 CB David Lulz 6 CB Grandpa 7 DMF N'Goalo 22 DMF Pashun Lad 8 CMF Fat Frank 4 CMF Sex Fabregas 9 SS TORRES TORRES TORRES 10 SS Eden Fatzard 11 CF DROGBA

No. Position Player 13 GK Snake 21 LB Permanent Injury #1 24 RB Permanent Injury #2 76 CB Daddy Boehly 32 CB Daddy Roman 91 CB THOMAS TALIBAN 0 DMF The Ghost of Shakhtar 18 DMF heh... my boy GRoudz... 17 DMF BOSS 20 DMF Captain Americal 11 CMF >115 million for some Ngubu 23 CMF Offsideolas Yellowcardson

Detailed squad

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

Bronze

Goalkeepers

Pos.	No.	Name	Picture	Description
GK	1	Dinosaur Arms		Imagine replacing the best goalkeeper in the world by paying 70 million for a manlet with t-rex arms... then giving him a 7 year contract... haha... couldnt be chelsea...
GK	13	Snake	File:Courtois.jpg	The said best goalkeeper in the world who essentially forced Chelsea to sign fucking Kepa by wanting to leave with a few days left of the transfer window

Defenders

Pos.	No.	Name	Picture	Description
LB	21	Permanent Injury #1		Chelsea's best full backs are essential for a good season. Too fucking bad they both get injured for 3-4 months at the same time every season :^))))
RB	24	Permanent Injury #2		See above
CB	26	*FUCKS YOUR WIFE*		Booed at every stadium, John Terry had reportedly been fucking the wife of a former teammate in 2009 (which the tabloids later apologized for reporting). Has been the subject of many shenanigans in his career.
CB	30	David Lulz		At his best this Sideshow Bob lookalike was world class, at his worst a total clown. Notably captained Brazil during their 7-1 loss to Germany.
CB	6	Grandpa		Nearly 40 years old but still a class CB. Notably absent during Brazil's 7-1 loss to Germany.
CB	76	Daddy Boehly		Chelsea's new owner. Has in a measly 2 years gained a reputation as a retarded money waster, with Chelsea spending over a billion pounds on transfers during his reign (just to finish 10th)
CB	32	Daddy Roman		Before Daddy Boehly started spending, it was Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich who was throwing money around. Known for being the one who started the whole "money ruining football" thing when he bought the club in 2003. Ultimately the Great Banan War of 2022 forced him to sell the club as he was hit with sanctions (that even Zelensky requested not go through).
CB	9/11	Thomas Taliban		You vill enjoy ze ultra-defensive zree vor zree

Midfield

Pos.	No.	Name	Picture	Description
DMF	7	N'GOALO		Not just one of the most likable players of all time, N'golo Kante was also an incredible ball winner.
DMF	22	PASHUN LAD		Can't shoot? Can't pass? Barely any technical ability whatsoever? No need, just play with passion! go on gallagher lad run sam fakin miles
DMF	17	BOSS		Doesn't matter if you're shit when you're taking home 325 000 pounds a week
DMF	0	THE GHOST OF SHAKHTAR		As quick and skilled as mpoop but no brains
DMF	18	heh... my boy GRoudz...		The most handsome man in the world just needs some time
DMF	4	SEX FABREGAS		Hit the sexiest passes you can imagine
CMF	25	>115 million for some ngubu		spend big money on unproven players, thanks burgers
CMF	15	Offsideolas Yellowcardson		Not only is Nicolas Jackson offside at least 5 times per match, he's also picked up 9 yellow cards with only 1 being for something contact related
CMF	19	FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT		If any form of tussle was starting up, you better believe Diego Costa was at the center of it
CMF	8	Fat Frank		Frank Lampard had everything; even too much to eat

Forwards

No.	Pos	Name	Picture	Description
SS	9	TORRES TORRES TORRES		TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES TORRES
SS	10	Eden Fatzard		One of the greatest natural talents football has ever seen. Also very talented at running to a burger stand after a match.
CF	11	DROGBA		A 190cm 90kg pure African monster who was every defender's worst nightmare.