/jam/

/jam/
Slam cum optimis vel jam cum ceteris
/jam/ - Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden
Founded January 22, 2008 Manager Chef Boyardee Owner Tale of Game's Studios IRL manager Managerless Team colors Chat color E56020 B-Ball Orange Top scorer Michael Jordan (7) Top assister Charles Barkley (6) Captain Charles Barkley Website /jam/ - Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden Nickname The B-Ballers
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 3 1 3 7 42.86%
GF GA GD 19 19 0
Biggest win /balls/  1–4  /jam/ August 27, 2023 Biggest defeat /cats&dogs/  5–3  /jam/ August 31, 2024 First match /eggs/  2–3  /jam/ August 25, 2023
Team music
Anthem Theme (Space Jam) Goal horn Johnathan Taylor Thomas Michael Jordan jesus christ the guy from deep purple sang this Alternate Goalhorn Zalatar - Precious Pellets Alternate Goalhorn JTT2
Kits

WARNING: The wiki page you are about to read is canon.

Tales of Game's Studios Presents Chef Boyardee's Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa is a freeware indie RPG set in post-cyberpocalyptic Neo New York, where basketball has become a capital offense after NBA superstar Charles Barkley performed a verboten Chaos Dunk during a game, inadvertently killing millions.

Decades later, an aging Barkley is implicated in a massive conspiracy that leads him and his allies, including his auspicious son Hoopz, on a journey of redemption, hope, terrorism, 2000s internet humor, neo-shekels, and zaubers.

The game can be downloaded here. There was also a Kickstarter for a sequel that collapsed after 9 years in development (it was not worth the weight). Its scrapped remains are downloadable here.

Roster

No. Position Player 33   GK Father Larry Bird 55   CB BOOM SHAKALAKA 2   CB The Diabeastie 32   CB Kazaam 100   CMF Textdump Pump 22   CMF Cyberdwarf 6   AMF Balthios 15   SS Vinceborg 2050 1   SS Hoopz 23   SS Michael Jordan 34   CF Charles Barkley

No. Position Player 60   GK Wilford Brimley 99   CB Chicken Fry 44   CB You Have Aspergers 17   CB Enslaved Duergar 19   CB Scott Creelman 61   CMF Ghost Dad 9   CMF Ghastly Darklord 12   CMF Ivory Latta 59   CMF Nobuo Uematsu 74   SS Cuchulainn 13   SS Barkley 2 Never Ever 43   SS Shadow Barkley

Exports

/ag/ League 8

Tactics - https://mega.nz/file/U7BikQJQ#DPGCAh0mxQmw_k8D_FspfPs2luJJqbnNzELjcBk_of0 (PES19)
Aesthetics - https://mega.nz/file/4uJBXRoR#3ucEPqKa8b5zU-n8hUImYATvPfGpUOhny76nCk3MYyQ
Audio - https://mega.nz/file/xiAQSRCb#cKAm1jlMwPGRM88I50nHheqzbU__Bl-FTvEmv4dsqak

/ag/ League 7

Tactics - https://mega.nz/file/1vRCzZBK#kKxBfFZJ9iwFPtEGqb89_mW-8JSjZRiDHhnvfrpTOz8 (PES19)
Aesthetics - https://mega.nz/file/wuQRkSaS#sEMXbadrAX59VY-RkU2nBRGTEVOxp7lY-e7W5rLyJ4k
Audio - https://mega.nz/file/xuAWgAwR#vc5AlMGx3xicb2HJvAqf-0mo0NKNwhtyDcXPkxOtqO0

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
August 25, 2023	/eggs/	/ag/ League 7	2-3 W	8' Balthios  22' Charles Barkley  86' Hoopz  75' Balthios
August 27, 2023	/balls/	/ag/ League 7	1–4 W	52', 63' Hoopz  73' Enslaved Duergar  88' Michael Jordan  60' Balthios
September 3, 2023	/slam/	/ag/ League 7	2–3 L	34', 88' Charles Barkley
September 7, 2023	/fhg/	/ag/ League 7	2–3 L	52' Charles Barkley  79' Michael Jordan
August 31, 2024	/cats&dogs/	/ag/ League 8	5–3 L	14', 48' Michael Jordan  61' Shadow Barkley
September 1, 2024	/bootleg/	/ag/ League 8	2–2 D	45+2', 84' Michael Jordan
September 7, 2024	/ytmnd/	/ag/ League 8	3-2 W	42' Charles Barkley  78' Michael Jordan  87' Hoopz