/mlp/ roster

Prenotes

• The /mlp/ roster is and will always be free of name- and tripfaggotry.
• The roster might be outdated at times, so check the /mlp/ main page for up-to-date player positions and cards.
• Goals do not include invitationals.
  
  

Current Roster

Starters

Name	Number	Position	Image	Face	Description	Goals Scored
Derpy Hooves	13	GK			After being practically cut from the show, Derpy Hooves became the prized goalie of /mlp/ who can block all kicks no matter how impossible it seems, earning her the title SAFEST HOOVES. This star player will not be stepping down anytime soon.	1
Thanks M.A. Larson!	2	CB			We trusted you Larson. We wanted to believe that you could pull off Twilicorn, that everything would be ok. Sadly putting that exact line into the script several times wasn't subtle or convincing enough. To make things up, he retired from the show so he can focus on his football career.	0
Horsefucker	3	CB			The neckbeard that surfs /mlp/, also known for fucking ponies, is finally getting off his wheelie chair to play some good old fashioned football.	1
Crotchtits	4	LB			Do you like technicolor ponies? What of anatomically correct animation? Well, if you need to slap your dick to something, check out the coolest new fad to hit a computer monitor near you. It's crotchtits! How could you not enjoy those supple milk balloons? Be sure to look the distinctive sway out on the field, distracting all the kissless virgins.	0
>no hooves	5	RB			I mean, how can you get off to that? She doesn't even have any hooves. Sick fucks.	0
^:)	23	DMF			(:^	0
IWantToCumInDashie	7	CMF			I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash. Don't you, anon?	1
Tracy	8	RMF			"Name my pony and make her cutie mark." "Fluttershy" "Her name can be Tracy because you traced her from Fluttershy." Named within the first two posts and given a Nicholas Cage cutie mark with trips, Tracy, the former goalkeeper, very originally claimed her new spot on the starting XI as a midfielder.	12
Princess Twilight	9	LMF			Heralded by many as the savoir of the show, and by many others as the final nail in the coffin of Friendship is Magic, the recently crowned Princess Sparkle has taken to the field to prove to the anons of /mlp/ that the show has not jumped so far over the shark that it has entered orbit.	21
Best Pony	1	SS			It's Twilight. Ugh, no it's Fluttershy. Haha, what the fuck? Clearly Rainbow Dash is best pony. Classless fools, Rarity is superior pone. >2012 >not knowing Pinkie Pie is best poni. Don't you all know? It's Applejack! Well, when ever somebody declares "Best Pony", the anons of /mlp/ will pop up and disagree with them.	29
>rape	34	CF			Hey /mlp/ what's yo- >rape Roll for your wa- >rape MLP General Rainbow Dash Edi- >rape Want to make a topic on /mlp/ without rape? Too fucking bad. >rape will always find you. There are no brakes on the >rape train.	55

Substitutes

Name	Number	Position	Image	Face	Description	Goals Scored
The Burdened	21	GK			There's no time to explain. In fact even if there was, I'm not sure you'd understand.	0
Jackie Chan Tulpa	22	GK			"Guys I made a Twilight Sparkle tulpa but it won't let me talk to girls and it made the rest of the mane six as tulpas and they rape me and want me to make more pony tulpas wat do?" Besides kill yourself? Make a goddamned Jackie Chan Tulpa and have him beat up the pony tulpas. Jackie's always got your back. OOOOOOONNNE MORE THING: TULPAS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. GOODNIGHT.	0
Don't Believe Her Lies	10	CB			A Rarity episode in Season 3. No Flash Sentry in Season 4. She never heard of the 4chan Cup. She isn't even that good at football. /mlp/ will never win an Elite Cup.	0
Fuck Your Marker	12	CB			A player who brings a lot of mystery to the field. One game he would be nowhere, the next he'd be scoring 3 goals. FYM is a man of mystery, but he's always there. Oh, and fuck your marker.	0
Didn't Listen	14	CB			They told him not to go play football, but he didn't listen.	0
Faust	6	CB			The creator, the beginning, the woman behind the creation of My Little Pony's reboot. Faust is leading the /mlp/ football team with hopes for a championship so that something good may come out of the fanbase. And she is creeped out by us.	1
Hi Anon!	17	LB			"HI ANON, I PUT THE BALL IN THE NET for you... Anon? Where did he go?"	0
The Hiatus	24	RB			Returned after a season-long break from football.	0
Lyra Plushie	11	DMF			Oh that's a good quality Lyra plushie...wait...what goes in he-OH SWEET MERCILESS FUCK.	1
Only On The Hub	20	DMF			Every once in while I'm told to remember that these teams are for some silly image boards or something. Seriously, the bronies get a board and the Danimals are left with nothing?! Well, the solution is clear: They all need to dress like idiots, disappoint their fathers, and get beat up by middle schoolers as an adult. I guess I have to play my part as well... CHRIS, WE ARE PLAYING SOCCER WITH THOSE DAMN PONIES. Oh, and pick up some burgers on the way, I am starving. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS NO REASON FOR US TO HANG OUT ANYMORE? IT'S JUST A HIATUS, I TOLD YOU. NOW GET OVER HERE!	0
Razzle Dazzle	25	CMF			Although hired to be just the half time performance, she decided she could also help out the team by using her stage acrobatics and dancing skills to RAZZLE DAZZLE and GLITZ GLAM the opposition.	1
=	19	CMF			She had heard people lament how the team failed to equalize at numerous occasions in the past and decided she could help the team out with that.	0

Player History

Name	Image	Description	Goals Scored
Boop		After accumulating an impressive 3 caps for /mlp/, decided to retire gracefully to join the pornography industry under the name 'Tender Fetlocks'	0
Bananas		Sent to the moon on accident.	0
Pure Pony Pleasure		Vanished after spending time with Horsefucker	0
Nathan		Arrested after a police raid on his house. He is now facing trial for possession of enormous amounts of zoophilic porn, which he claims was on an external hard drive 'borrowed from Horsefucker'. The trail continues.	0
Seaty Belt		Following the scandalous discovery by tabloid media that Seaty Belt had yet to receive her Cutie Mark, she disappeared from the public eye. Rumours abound that she underwent severe re-constructive surgery to avoid rabid paparazzi. Taco Belle signed soon after, who insisted she was of no relation to her predecessor.	0
Applerape		Decided to also retire and return to his apple farm in the Ozarks. Later arrested on 37 accounts of rape.	0
>fanfiction		Cut after not showing as much promise as his older brother, Clopfic.	0
Ableist Ponies		Too offensive to participate in the 4chan league.	0
SmileSmileSmile		Became very repetitive over her career. Let go for wanting the goalhorn to be dedicated to her.	0
Taco Belle		Retired after being found out about her surgery.	0
Futashy		Released after her giant dick got in the way of everything.	0
King Zebra		Cut for being a filthy zebra.	0
Pony Semen		HORSEFUCKER CLAIMS ANOTHER.	0
CONTROVERSIAL		VERY DISTURBED.	0
Clopfic		Cut for being too edgy.	0
Fluffy Pone		Found murdered to death after the team was relegated in Winter 2013. Another one was kidnapped somewhere between the summer and autumn of 2014 to be used as ball for the 4cc.	0
Tom Dan		Retired from the squad after deciding he was too cool for us.	0
Marshmellow Butthole		Last seen visiting Mandopony's house - never seen again.	0
Molestia		Taking a short 'break' from the squad to deal with the multiple accusations of rape levelled at her.	0
Black Twilight		Retired from the squad after receiving a role in the movie 'Equestria Girls'. Said to fight for social justice on tumblr now.	0
Spaghetticon		Sacked for dropping the ball and his spaghetti in the /m/ match in Winter 2013 and sacked after being outshined by his fellow teammates in Spring 2013.	0
Cease & Desist		Taken off the team after management received a letter whose contents cannot be further disclosed.	0
IDontGetTheAppeal		I still don't get it.	0
Muh Job		Sacked for viewing prohibited content on the job.	0
Liquid Pride		Sacked after it became clear there is no pride whatsoever in watching a show for little girls.	0
Hate and Penetrate		Sacked after failing to properly penetrate the opponent's defense too many times.	0
Twilicane		Sacked after it was found out canes can't actually play football.	0
I Culminated		Got stuck between a rock and a hard place.	0
DYEWTS		Actually watched the show, didn't like it and left.	0
Tara Strong		Sacked after buying another pair of high heels instead of football boots with club money.	1
Baconhair		Preferred to make threads about herself on random internet imageboards too much than spend her time training on the pitch.	0
Autism in Equestria		Disappeared to Equestria for good after Cadance joined the team and couldn't stop annoying him.	0
Cheeselegs		Stopped turning up when she learned she might have to kick around her only friend.	1
Cockblock Trixie		Left after she found out Twilight Sparkle would always steal the spotlight from her no matter what she did.	0
Existential Gummy		What was winning? Was it nothing more than the endless search for a star? And what was a star but a constant reminder that we were all only one crazy Texan away from rigging? And what of the poor gator? Logo no longer starless, destined to an existential swim down the river of memes to... an unknowable destiny?	0
Bomb Ass Tea		Since Cadance became pregnant, they decided that it's better for the baby if Shining stays at home.	0
Panda Ring		Spent again too much time pandering to the fans and too little playing football, again.	0

Old Team Photos and Faces

Winter 2014 Team Photo

From left to right
Back row - Autism in Equestria, >no hooves, The Burdened, Derpy Hooves, Jackie Chan Tulpa, Hate & Penetrate, Horsefucker
Middle row - Faust, Panda Ring, Fuck Your Marker, Lyra Plushie, Twilicane, Crotchtits, Tara Strong, DYEWTS, Cheeselegs
Front row - Alicorn Twilight, Best Pony, Don't Believe Her Lies, IWantToCumInDashie, >rape, Thanks M.A. Larson, Tracy

Also pictured are the 1st place trophy from the 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup and the 3rd place trophy won in the 2014 4chan Winter Cup.

Summer 2013 Team Photo

From left to right
Back row - Horsefucker, >no hooves, Cheeselegs, >muh job, Autism in Equestria, Liquid Pride, Panda Ring, Crotchtits
Middle row - Lyra Plushie, Tara Strong, Faust, Hasbro Exec (Owner), Sethisto (Manager), Hasbro Goon (Owner), IWantToCumInDashie, Thanks M.A. Larson, Fuck Your Marker
Front row - IDontGetTheAppeal, Jackie Chan Tulpa, Alicorn Twilight, Cease & Desist, Derpy Hooves, The Burdened, >rape, Best Pony, Tracy

2013 Player Faces

1st row - Derpy Hooves, Thanks M.A. Larson!, Panda Ring, Iwanttocumindashie, Jackie Chan Tulpa, Best Pony
2nd row - Crotchtits, Cease & Desist, >no hooves, Liquid Pride, Autism in Equestria, Lyra Plushie
3rd row - Lauren Faust, Tracy, Alicorn Twilight, Cheeselegs, Tara Strong, Fuck Your Marker
4th row (no custom faces) - >rape, The Burdened, Horsefucker, I Don't Get The Appeal, >muh job