/toy/ Roster

For the main article, visit /toy/

Roster

/toy/'s roster has varied a lot since it's inception. The Club is constantly hunting for new players in Walmarts, Targets and Toys'R'Uses in the US and other toy shops around the world. They never miss a preorder on AmiAmi, or a sale on Mandarake. /toy/ likes to rotate players on and off the giant shelf that is the Football Pitch.

Starters

/toy/'s most popular players. It includes mainstays such as Woody, Matty, Madoka Titus and Optimus Prime. However there are always promotions and demotions on the /toy/ squad so be on the lookout for new faces.

Left to Right:

Top Row: Kinder Eggs, Skydiving Mikasa, Orange Transparent Chainsaw, Hamhands, Drossel, Danbo
Bottom Row: Skeleton Army, Madoka Titus, Woody, Matty, Optimus Prime

Name	Number	Position	Image	In Game	Description
Ham Hands	10	GK			Ham*Hand Fister, or Hamhands, has the tendency to break everything she touches. Fine China, Cement Bricks, Expensive collectables, everything withers against her brutal assault. Some call Hamhands clumsy, however they are mistaken, she merely cannot control her own Strength.
Drossel	19	CB			Drossel von Flügel is a bratty gynoid duchess. Nobody really knows why she joined the team, although she said something about "exploring human culture." She may be a spoiled brat, but her changes of head modules (allowing for flight and nimble kicks) ensure that the rest of the team grins and bears her eccentricities.
Kinder Eggs	82	CMF			Surprise Mother Fucker it's Kinder Eggs! A known felon and terrorist, the United states authorities are under instructions to capture and imprison Kinder Eggs on sight.
Skeleton Army	20	RB			The Skeleton Army is here to bring a bit of spookiness to /toy/. Their antics on the pitch bring a smile to fans everywhere, even if it mostly consists of tripping over each other running after the ball. In fact, they aren't scary at all, they are downright adorable.
Skydiving Mikasa	29	LB			Clearly Mikasa will go sailing no more. It was a nice pic though.
Danbo	7	DMF			Danbo is a more defensive midfielder. He rarely speaks, and when he does it's usually through pictures. I don't even know what this thing is. Hipsters love taking photos of him looking sad in the rain, though.
Matty	45	CMF			Matty is a dick. He fucking hates you and everything you love. Voltron? Fuck you. He-man? Eat a dick. Ghostbusters? Get Fucked. DC Universe? What a faggot. Matty does not give a shit about you or your family, and will kick you in the balls to watch you cry. He has a very aggressive play style and constantly taunts opposing players and teammates.
Orange Transparent Chainsaw	59	CMF			Hailing from a distant frozen world, Orange Transparent Chainsaw came to our planet with a message of peace and prosperity. However, his mission was aborted as it was found that sawing things in half does not conform to any known definition of peace on any world outside of the Ice Planet system.
Optimus Prime Captain	86	AMF			Optimus Prime is known across the world as a generous and caring leader. His fight for the freedom of the Autobots and humankind against the evil Decepticons is legendary. He has turned to football, the world's game, as a way of spreading his message further among the people.
Madoka Titus	11	SS			Madoka Titus is a terrible abomination. Forged from unsuspecting shelfwarmers, Japan has created the perfect combination of cuteness and robotic desire for human death. She is an unstoppable force and not to be trifled with. The only living thing she feels any sort of symapthy towards is her pet Homuhomu, which is rumored to have a mecha-musume form of its own. Being meguca truly is suffering.
Woody	95	CF			Woody is well known in the west from the popular Toy Story movies. However his on screen persona has been recently marred by accusations of statutory rape, sodomy, and other sexual deviance while traveling abroad. /toy/'s manager's seem to feel that what happens in Thailand stays in Thailand.

Bench

These players are an integral part of /toy/'s success. They may not be starters, but players such as Rapedog and You knoe who have been able to set up and contribute when called upon.

Name	Number	Position	Image	In Game	Description
Shelfwarmer	71	GK			As the oldest member of /toy/, Shelfwarmer brings a veteran presence to the team. He has seen younger, sexier players come and go, but he still has his peg on the bench. One day he hopes to move out of the /toy/ practice facility, but no one wants to take him home.
Detolf Shelves	64	GK			Bringing a touch of class to the /toy/ team, Detolf is known for keeping himself neat and presentable. He keeps the dust out and with proper lighting, shows off his goods for everyone to see. He is always found after matches organizing the /toy/ locker room, keeping everything in its place. Managers have commented "Since he has joined the team, things are much less of a clusterfuck around here."
Space Godzilla	4	LB			GODZILLA FROM SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
Gourai	70	RB			-
Saber Miku	23	CB			Figma Release Schedule for 2018: Miku Hatsune Ver 13, Saber Ver 15, Celebration Miku Ver 3, Dance Party Saber ver 5, Hatoful Boyfriend Miku, Top Hat Saber, Saber, Miku, Miku, Saber Saber Saber, Hatsune Saber, Saber Miku.
Nubs Destiny	5	CB			A young player, Nubs Destiny has recently moved up from /toy/'s burgeoning Gunpla farm club. While he shows promise he still needs the veteran refinement only time spent assembling and painting models over a years can give a player. Hopefully, he'll step up and trim his nubs one day, but for now his natural talent has found him a place on /toy/'s bench.
Kopaka	15	CB			Kopaka came all the way from the snowy areas of Mata Nui to join /toy/ on the pitch. He borrowed some spare parts from his fellow Bionicle brothers to allow him to change his appearance and keep opposition on their toes. He's also got some kick ass skis.
Shamrock	39	DMF			Shamrock has a dick. Just gonna get that out of the way so you don't do something you'll regret. Recruited to the team by good friend Drossel, Shamrock's ability to fool opposition makes her(?) a valued addition to the team.
Rapedog	13	DMF			Rapedog is Woody's loyal pet and companion. They train together, run together, live together, work together and rape together. Rapedog is fast, however his general strategy is to wear opponents down before tackling them and injecting them with hot plastic love.
African Bugman	66	CMF			The Bugman is a strange one, always ready to dispense justice on the field and the streets. His claws are a force second only to his mighty kicks.
You knoe who?	58	CMF			A question as old as time itself, "you knoe who needs a 'insert toyline here'?" has plagued mankind through out the ages. Philosphers and Scientists alike have tried to answer it, and only been frustrated by their own stupidity. Yet, /toy/ stands ready, with the one true answer. /toy/ knoes. Oh yes. /toy/ knoes.
Cobra Commander	62	CMF			-

Retired Players

These players had their time on the /toy/shelf, however as interest waned they started collecting dust. /toy/ management has carefully packaged each of them in bubblewrap, and placed them gently in storage containers for the rest of eternity, as is only proper for fallen heroes.

Top Row: Prof. Layton, Madoka Titus, Optimus Prime, Hamhands, Destro, Ghoulia
Bottom Row: Nobel Gunpla, Matty, Woody, China Bootleg, Screwholes

Name	Position	Image	In Game	Description
Gummy	GK			Gummy is made of old bubble gum and pipe cleaners. Many years ago Gummy was sealed away for his power and stench were too strong. Now he has been reawakened and freed from his plastic bag prison to play football. Did I mention he has a fish oil capsule for a heart? He is a true /toy/ abomination.
BASED KOTO	RB			SHINKIS ARE NO LONGER DED THANK YOU BASED KOTO!
Pizza Spidey	CMF			On the pitch, Spidey delivers passes and assists straight to the front line. Off the pitch, he is known to partake in a bit of sexual deviance alongside good friend Woody, but so long as he keeps buying /toy/ management pizza we're willing to turn a blind eye and let it slide.
My Nugga	DMF			Shiiiiiiiiiit Nugga, you know we be down. Runnin a train on some bitch ass football hoes like we's Kobe at da olympics. When da shits goin down in da hood, you need to call dis Nugga rite er, he set yo shit straight.
Prof. Layton	CMF			Layton is one of the more dapper members of the /toy/ squad. Always wearing his trademark tophat, he is ready at a moment's notice when another player gets into trouble. His math skills are also never to be questioned.
Ded Line	RB			Fuck you Konami. I just want more shinkis.
Donkey Kong	GK			Donkey Kong asks for one thing and one thing only. To be payed in bananas for every shot he saves. He big ass grin alone causes the other team's attacks to come to a halt.
Cactus Owl	CB			Cactus Owl is a horrible beast, somewhere between a cactus and an owl. He was sealed away in a vending machine for being a freak of nature, and is only let out to play football.
Screwholes	CB			Pomock is da kawaiiest shinki ever. Look at her, look. What's she doing? Playing in a field? Pickin some flowers? Eating a Cake? Getting Raped by a crocodile? DAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW
The World	CB			"Jojo's is like Fist of the North Star only FABULOUS" - Anon. Those hearts on his crouch means he loves you. No Homo.
Thew Adams	GK			Thew is not just your originary toy reviewer. He is a crazy british dude with over a hundred reviews of Transformers, old, new, and even fake that is sure to find a Transformer to strike your fancy every once in a
Customs Agent	GK			Another government employee, Custom's Agent is the nameless, faceless hands of the Italian government who pick through packages from other countries taking the best items for himself. Through a combination of theft and bribery Custom's Agent wormed his way onto the team. He hopes to bring Madoka back to his Villa in Genoa. It didn't take him long to get caught and be retired.
Clusterfuck	GK			Dusty Clusterfuck has been on /toy/'s radar for a long time. He has been seen at many /toy/ practices, collecting every ball in his area, and leaving a thin film of dust on every bench he touches. While they have been interested in him as a player, his personal grooming habits have always been a point of contention. Clusterfuck has promised /toy/ management that he will clean up his act. After a while of service, Clusterfuck collected too much dust and is in storage in an old Detolf Shelf.
Abuse	GK			Take off your skirt and I'll give you upsies.
Pomock	CB			Pomock is da kawaiiest shinki ever. Look at her, look. What's she doing? Playing in a field? Pickin some flowers? Eating a Cake? Getting Raped by a crocodile? DAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW
THATFUCKINGPART	CB			Where did it go? I need it to put this together, mother fuck where is it? It's gone forever, friend. It is THATFUCKINGPART. One day, years from now, you'll be walking barefoot through your room, and you'll accidentally find it lodged into your heel.
80's Nostalgia	CB			Dude, do you remember that show from when we were kids? With the Ninjas and Lasers and Dinosaurs and shit? That show was fucking awesome. Way better then anything on TV today.
Destro	CB			Born to long line of Scottish Aristocrats, Destro had money and power spoon fed to him, however he always craved more. After a long history of being accused of associating with the terrorist organization Cobra, Destro turned to Football to rehabilitate his public image. His Iron Headed Defense has earned acclaim and respect from many experts, however his aim when shooting leaves much to be desired.
Dull Surprise	CB			In the future there is only war. We have seen it's grim face, and it is one of mild shock, and squinting. Dull Surprise works well with his mecha teammates and can also be found wearing a gasmask to help his breathing.
Ghoulia	CB			A teenage Zombie in her prime, Ghoulia is a strong defensive force for /toy/. Sometimes she has problems with her limbs falling off, but her good friend Screw Holes is always there to put her back together again.
Hipster Vinyl	CB			Hipster Vinyl keeps to himself, rarely doing interviews or press events. He is constantly updating his wardrobe and musical collection, preferring to be on the cutting edge of style. Some members of the team have suggested trading him to /mu/, but most just ignore him.
Nobel Gunpla	DMF			As a Gundam built in he image of a Magical School girl, Nobel has been at odds with Madoka Titus, a magical girl built in the image of a Gundam, since her addition to the team. However, once the initial jealousy period was over, they became fast friends. They enjoy dancing, picnics, and dropping colonies on unsuspecting planets together.
Blindpack	CMF			Not much is known about Blindpack Minifig. He communicates only through Danish interpreters and rarely does interviews. People are constantly searching for evidence of his past, but reports always seem conflicting. Some say he was a race car driver, others a Viking, or a robot or a zombie. Sometimes his hat is the only give away.
Merman	LMF			Born in the swamps of Eternia, Merman came to Earth during a failed attempt at global domination by Skeletor, who simply forgot Merman existed and left him behind. Merman may not understand much of anything, he barely speaks English, but he does enjoy swimming up and down the sidelines of the football pitch.
Takoluca	RMF			The cutest cephalopod to ever creep out of Japan. One day she just showed up at the field, squeeking loudly. Rather than feed and house her, /toy/'s chinese management put her in a uniform and sent her out. No one knows why, all she does is stick in a spot and get hit in the head with the ball.
Cattleya	CF			DAMN. I SAID GOD DAMN LOOK AT DEM TITTIES
Domon Kasshu	CF			Domon Kasshu is a player who may or may not be a special snowflake. However, his amazing flexibility and steady footing ensures that his teammates will put up with him wailing "MERGHY CRABMAS" in the middle of the summer.