/s4s/
[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s], as a board, was originally thought to be an April Fools' joke, but is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team's cup history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s]'s most recent cup performance was a 15th-place finish in the 2017 4chan Winter Cup, and as such they will be participating in the 2017 4chan Summer Cup. GED HYB! :DDD
We now have an Ebin Nice Discord for all you nice fans
For when we win the cup: Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen/Jeff Buckley, StringSpace Cover
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4)
Roster
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Winter 2017 Team Photo
To view the [s4s] team photo for the 2015 4chan Winter Cup, please click here.
History
For older history: /s4s/ history
2017 4chan Winter Cup
After an inspired performance in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup, [s4s] were drawn into Group G of the following Winter Cup, alongside /asp/, /u/, and /n/. In their first match, two goals from Bateman and one from Topkek sent /n/ on their way to the Wooden Spoon with a 3-1 drubbing. In the second group stage match, the boys (and grills) of Dubs FC couldn't prevent Big Match John from overcoming the odds, and fell to a 1-0 loss. In the third and final match of the group stage, it was a relatively simple feat for [s4s] to get through to the knockout stages and remain in the Elite tier: a win, by any margin, would send [s4s] through over /u/. A brace from Topkek - amid admittedly dire defending from /u/ - later, and [s4s] had qualified. And things only heated up from there. Boris's patented RigDora drew an all-too-familiar foe for [s4s]'s Round of 16 match up: hated rivals /gd/. Three matches against /gd/ had come and gone, with [s4s] failing to get any form of positive result. But the fourth matchup had yet to be played, something both sides were looking to take advantage of, as this showdown represented more than just your average rivalry match: a spot in the Final Day of the Cup and a minimum-top-8 finish would go to the winner. [s4s] attempted to attack right from the very start, and to put it in the most simple of terms, it didn't fucking work. [s4s] started the match off on the back foot following a goal from Kerning three minutes into the match, and from then on it only got worse. [s4s] were 3-0 down by the thirty-fifth minute, and 5-1 down by the half time interval. Bateman scored his second in the fifty-eighth, but by that point [s4s] didn't even have pride to play for. [s4s] were dumped out in the Round of 16, battered and bruised yet again by THAT.FUCKING.CAT. [s4s] look forward to the 2017 4chan Summer Cup to avenge that loss and to prove that they are still a force to be reckoned with in the Cup.
Official Matches
For unofficial match history, see /s4s/ Unofficial Match History.
| Match Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Goal Scorers |
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| July 12, 2013 | 3-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| July 20, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Quads | ||
| September 21, 2013 | 2-0 L | |||
| October 5, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 25, 2013 | 4-2 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 26, 2013 | 3-0 W |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 2-1 W |
Shrek | ||
| October 27, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 16, 2013 | 2-1 L |
Shrek | ||
| November 22, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| November 24, 2013 | 4-4 D |
Shrek | ||
| January 11, 2014 | 1-0 L | |||
| January 19, 2014 | 1-1 D |
Shrek | ||
| April 6, 2014 | 2-1 L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| April 11, 2014 | 3-3 D |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| April 13, 2014 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman  42'
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| April 19, 2014 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 13', 70'
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| April 26, 2014 | 5-0 L | |||
| May 31, 2014 | 2-1 L | Patrick Bateman 33'
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| June 7, 2014 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 34', 39'
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| July 19, 2014 | 4-2 W | Cory Baxter 16', 37' Patrick Bateman 33'[s4s]-Tan 82'
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| July 26, 2014 | 2-2 D |
Cory Baxter | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 2-1 L |
Topkek | ||
| July 27, 2014 | 1(6)-1(5) L |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 14, 2015 | 3-0 W |
Topkek | ||
| February 20, 2015 | 5-0 W |
Dubs | ||
| February 22, 2015 | 1-1 D |
[s4s]-Tan | ||
| February 28, 2015 | 3-0 W |
D A N K M E M E S | ||
| March 1, 2015 | 3-2 L |
Patrick Bateman | ||
| July 31, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 65'
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| August 2, 2015 | 4-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 4', 74', 83' Patrick Bateman 34'
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| August 8, 2015 | 4-3 L | Patrick Bateman 13', 44', 70'
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| October 24, 2015 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 34'
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| October 30, 2015 | 3-1 L | Patrick Bateman 71'
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| November 1, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 4', 90+' [s4s]-Tan 30'Ebin 42'
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| November 8, 2015 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 18' Patrick Bateman 87'
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| November 14, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 31', 78' Topkek 40'Snek Court 111'
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| November 15, 2015 | 2-0 L | |||
| February 20, 2016 | 4-0 W | Patrick Bateman 7', 73', 85' [s4s]-Tan 29'
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| February 26, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 25'
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| February 28, 2016 | 4-0 L | |||
| March 5, 2016 | 2(4)-2(3) W | Nice Grill 41' Patrick Bateman 59'
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| March 6, 2016 | 3-2 L | Topkek 14' Patrick Bateman 45+3'
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| August 6, 2016 | 2-2 D | Topkek 38' Patrick Bateman 61'
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| August 12, 2016 | 2-1 W | Topkek 35' Patrick Bateman 42'
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| August 14, 2016 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 30' Nice Grill 53'
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| August 20, 2016 | 3-0 L | |||
| February 11, 2017 | 3-1 W | Topkek 21' Patrick Bateman 53', 80'
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| February 17, 2017 | 1-0 L | |||
| February 19, 2017 | 2-1 W | Topkek 38', 43'
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| February 25, 2017 | 5-2 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0', 58'
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Quotes
- "But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
- — DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)
- — DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)
- "IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
- — DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup
- — DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup
- "BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
- — Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
- — Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
Export
2017 4chan Summer Cup
PES 2017
2017 4chan Summer Cup Tactical
Legacy Exports 2017 4chan Winter Cup
PES 2017
2017 4chan Winter Cup Aesthetics
2017 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies
PES 2016
2016 4chan Summer Cup Aesthetics
PES 2015
2015 4chan Autumn Cup Aesthetic Export
PES 2014
2015 4chan Winter Cup Aesthetics
Honors/Statistics
Individual Honors
2013 Autumn Fetus
Golden Boot:
Shrek, 7 goals2013 Autumn Fetus
Joint Golden Ball:
Patrick Bateman, 5 assists
2014 Summer Cup
Goal of the Tournament:
Cory Baxter, vs. /pol/
2015 Winter Cup
Joint Golden Ball:
Ebin, Nice Grill2015 Winter Cup
Player of the Tournament:
Patrick Bateman
Team Honors
Thanksgiving Bowl
First Place
2014 Winter Cup
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /tg/2015 Winter Cup
Best Matches
2015 Summer Cup
Match of the Tournament
/gd/ - [s4s]
2015 4chan Autumn Babby
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /sp/
Player Stats
Goals and Assists
| Player | Goals | Assists |
|---|---|---|
| Patrick Bateman | 37 | 12 |
| Shrek | 17 | 4 |
| [s4s]-Tan | 13 | 8 |
| Topkek | 9 | 8 |
| Cory Baxter | 3 | 1 |
| D A N K M E M E S | 2 | 5 |
| Nice Grill | 4 | 8 |
| Quads | 1 | 0 |
| Ebin | 1 | 6 |
| Snek Court | 1 | 3 |
| :^) | 0 | 2 |
| Awoo~ | 0 | 1 |
| Me On The Left | 0 | 1 |
| Yee | 0 | 1 |
| Youd Be Surprise | 0 | 1 |
Saves
| Player | Saves |
|---|---|
| Walruse | 36 |
| Doge | 28 |
| Swaglord | 20 |
| #fortune | 11 |
| Le Purple Palmtree Man | 5 |
| My OC | 4 |
| Slowpoke | 3 |
| Donut Man | 2 |
Goals in a Single Cup
- Patrick Bateman, 7, 2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
- Shrek, 7, 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers
- Shrek, 6, 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
- Patrick Bateman, 5, 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup, 2015 4chan Winter Cup, 2015 4chan Summer Cup
- [s4s]-Tan, 4, 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup
- Cory Baxter, 3, 2014 4chan Summer Cup
- [s4s]-Tan, 3, 2014 4chan Summer Cup and 2015 4chan Summer Cup
- Patrick Bateman, 3, 2016 4chan Summer Cup
Past Cup Performances
2013 Autumn Fetus
1st - Qualified
2013 Autumn Babby
25th - Relegated
2014 Spring Babby
16th - Promoted2014 Summer Cup
10th - Held Promotion2015 Winter Cup
5th - Held Promotion2015 Summer Cup
17th - Relegated2015 Autumn Babby
5th - Promoted
2016 Winter Cup
7th - Held Promotion
2016 Summer Cup
15th - Held Promotion
2017 Winter Cup
15th - Held Promotion
Rivalries
Checkb Owl: 
/s4s/ v. /lgbt/ 
In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies.
0W - 1D - 1L
Sh*tpost Bowl: /s4s/ v. /b/ 
Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s].
1W - 0D - 0L
Battle of the Provisionals: /s4s/ v. /gd/ 
Similar to /mu/ and their rivalry with /wg/, [s4s] have lost the first three meetings against their bitter rivals. But there is one positive: if this truly is similar to the /mu/-/wg/ rivalry, [s4s] should win the next matchup between these teams. NEVER EVER
0W - 0D - 4L
Bracket Bowl/Dumb Frogposting Bowl: /s4s/ v. /r9k/ 
Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they are the only boards on 4chan's header board list that reside in brackets by themselves. Both matches these teams have played have ended in a draw.
0W - 2D - 0L
Trivia/Fun Facts
- In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
- There have been two times that a single [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, and Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15. However, only one of these matches ended in an [s4s] victory: The latter match.
- [s4s]'s largest victory and worst loss are both currently by 5 goals to 0 (victory: over /x/, loss: against /ic/).
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