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/poland/
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| Bastion of Christianity | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| /Poland/ - Polan | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Introduction
Glorious Nation of Poland is here to liberate everyone from the Germano-Soviet-Russo-Swede-Turk-Ukranian menace... and play memetic divegrass.
Exports
Team: As Invitational 17
Aesthetics: Excludes stadium
Other: Music in Rigdio format
Players
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Career Goals
| Player | Goals |
|---|---|
| Kazimierz the Great | 9 |
| Geralt | 3 |
| O Kurwa | 2 |
| Zdzisław Brzęczysczykiewicz | 1 |
| Makumba | 1 |
| Ja Pierdole | 1 |
Career Assists
| Player | Assists |
|---|---|
| Geralt | 4 |
| Winged Hussar | 2 |
| Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz | 3 |
| Ja Pierdole | 1 |
| O Kurwa | 1 |
| Kazimierz the Great | 1 |
| Fryderyk Chopin | 1 |
Team Photo
Best Lineup
Starting from the upper left:
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski, >>Ukraine Polish Clay, Makumba, Ja Pierdole, 19 Promils, Kazimierz the Great
100% Catholic, "The Father" Rydzyk, Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz, Winged Hussar, Geralt
Roster Description
| Player | Polish Lesson of the Day/Cheat Sheet |
|---|---|
| Kazimierz The Great | Basically best Polish King ever - built the foundation for the Polish Golden age by
building cities, castles and alliances, also married 3 times and died childless. |
| Geralt | From the Polish book series, turned film, turned TV series, turned video game, turned TV series. Sexy as fuck, morally grey and gets all the girls. Also slays monsters. Polish best export next to this team and vodka. |
| Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz | One of the names that confuses German spies, custom officers and government officials. It does exist IRL. |
| Makumba | Polish black man. In the 90s he was brought to everybody's attention with a catchy punk reggae song. Poland has a shitton of black people in the cities. They just don't go around blowing stuff up and slicing people apart. |
| O Kurwa | Polish callsign. Kurwa has variety of uses as it can be transformed into a verb, adjective or stay a noun, which usually is a derogatory name for a prostitute. |
| Ja Pierdole | Another callsign. Pierdole like Kurwa is a word that can be used in variety of ways either as a noun, verb or adjective. It means "Fucking." |
| "The Father" Rydzyk | Polish priest that is de-facto leader of Polish church and a major political figure due to the amount of money he amassed, TV he is running, radio he is running, school he is running... in US terms - Televangelist/lobbyist with ties to government. Shits on the Pope constantly no matter who's the Pope. |
| Polish Immigrant | Source of Polish Jokes. For years the immigrants were dumb idiots or criminals that the communist country sent off everywhere to get rid of them in the countries. Smart people were kept inside so they wouldn't dissent. Right now you get as many smart immigrants as the dumb ones. |
| Polish Space Program | Despite the meme, we have one cosmonaut - Hermaszewski and supplies European Space Agency with a shitton of sensors for the satellites. |
| 100% Catholic | In every census Poland is deemed 99%-100% Catholic despite there being a large Orthodox minority, some Muslims, a good deal of Buddhists (Thanks Vietnam) and of course Protestants. It's also an excuse why Polish Catholic Church has a lot of power here. BTW: 4 centuries ago Catholics were a minority. |
| Bastion of the West | We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart. |
| Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski | Last of the great Polish kings. Known for being the best Roach exterminator and inspiration for every Serb out there. |
| Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudski | A socialist terrorist, turned general, turned marshall, turned politcian, turned de-facto head of state. He hated commies so hard he has beaten them so hard in 1920, Europe was safe for 19 years. |
| Polish Thread | On 4chan the amount of Polish shitposting is high - best observed on /b/, /v/, /int/ and especially /mlp/. |
| 19 Promils | Polish people like Russians can withstand large quantities of alcohol. The one record is a schoolkid that had 19 promils ( 1.9% alcohol content in blood ) and still survived. Usually normal Europeans can withstand 4.5 promils, which is 0.45% alcohol content in blood. |
| >> Ukraine Polish Clay | Ukraine despite being Ruthenia/Rus back in a day got turned into what was a Polish colony. They are still butthurt about that. But after Russians are kicking their ass, they might've been better off with us. |
| Fryderyk Chopin | Japanese people love our pianist. To the point they make video games with them. Seriously. |
| Winged Hussar | Polish Cavalry tradition = best. And yes it has a specific goalhorn. THAT ONE. |
| 13-year old with Neostrada | Our version of AOL kids. And source of endless webms. |
| Eastern Poland | Post-communist shithole full of Rednecks. Who the fuck would invest THERE? |
| GROM | This formation makes /k/ wet. Our (((Secret))) Export. Currently fucked over by the current goverment. |
| Sino-Polish War | One day Poland will absorb Russia and we will border China... who we will fight. |
| Izaak Rosenberg | Everyone in the upper echelons of Polish government is a Jew... or Hungarian. Also about half of Polish dishes are of Jewish origins. Who do we kid. We're Israel v2.0. |
Match History
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| September 1, 2017 |  /csa/
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Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage |
2-2 D | Kazimierz the Great  25'Makumba 84'
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| September 2, 2017 |  /hvn/
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Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage |
4-2 W | Kazimierz the Great 4' Ja Pierdole 23'Geralt 35'Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz 79'
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| September 3, 2017 |  /ne/
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Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage |
3-1 W | Kazimierz the Great 23' Kazimierz the Great 78'Kazimierz the Great 82'
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| September 9, 2017 |  /br/
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Multinational Bowl 2 Round of 16 |
6-0 W | Geralt 32' O Kurwa 76'Kazimierz the Great 86'Kazimierz the Great 88'Kazimierz the Great 90+1'O Kurwa 90+4'
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