/s4s/ Roster

The official roster of [s4s].

Sub

Starter

Silver

Gold

Current Roster

Goalkeepers

Position	Name	Picture	Description
	Eh? You've Never Seen a Pair of Breasts Before?		"Eh? You've never seen a pair of breasts before? And you've played for HOW long?! J-Jeez! Ahahahah! W-Well, we'd better fix that, then! Just close your eyes for a sec, aaaaaaand..." Heterochromic stroke sufferer Kogasa Tatara received an unlikely boost when she was offered a contract to play for [s4s], which she signed. The team owner sought out the Touhou after her debilitating health issues resulted in a bizarre obsession of exposing her breasts to virgin anons. Kogasa remains [s4s]'s starting goalkeeper as a tactical idea: given that many of her opposition strikers are virgins, she can expose her breasts before they strike the ball and put them off.
	Walruse		Recruited from parts unknown, likely a zoo enclosure or the Arctic, the walruse remains a mystifying character. Opposition strikers are often distracted by his presence before they shoot. "But that's a seal," they wonder. Nope! WALRUSED!

Defenders

Position	Name	Picture	Description
	BAVI		A long-time debate among the many ornithologists of [s4s]: Are birds important? Is the impact they make on the environment positive, negative, or completely insufficient? As public opinion changes on their importance, so does the player's name. For now, it seems that birds are very important.
	Cowe		Cowe trots onto the pitch! Cowe may possibly be related to Walruse, but both have denied this. I think we can all agree that this is a very cute cowe (don't let Gavin McInnes tell you otherwise!)
	Ojamajo Doremi		Everybody knows that the users of [s4s] are actually cute anime grills (boyes) in real life. One such grill (boye) is the Doremiposter of [s4s]. Be sure to participate in the daily episode threads and learn about Onpu and friends! wooh! (did you know that Doremiposter made lots of /jp/-tan art and the MARIO IS A NIGGER comic a long time ago?)
	wew lad		wew lad is 4chan's newest meme. >when you hear a good song wew lad >after an epic drum solo wew lad >when you meet a qt wew lad >your favourite band announces a new album wew lad
	Frontpage Chaika		Look! Name Chaika Trabant. Scoring goals, yes, Chaika good at. Inside out, turning defenders, I can! Yes! Will be, yes, a gold? Yes! Front page, I am! Chaika on the front page!
	le millenom girl		Not to be confused with "The Millennium Girl", AKA Frederica Irving, of the Etrian Odyssey geimu series. le millenom girl is a lot more MS Paint than The Millennium Girl. Strikers mistakenly believe that le millenom girl is a poor defender because of her physiology, but she's as skilled as the rest of the team.
	Ebin		Dewott is a rogue Pokémon who has escaped from his trainer, because like Finn the Stormtrooper, he didn't want to go into battle any more. He has been reformed by the niceness of [s4s] and now has a positive and "ebin" outlook. And from the looks of him, he might be an Anti-Bully Ranger. Ebin. Simply ebin.
	Ass		In the real world, Steven Pinker is a professor at Harvard University, with a Ph.D in experimental psychology. He has authored many books as a cognitive scientist, including The Stuff of Thought, The Language Instinct and How the Mind Works. The world considers him a valuable asset in the field of linguistics, psychology and computational theory of mind. In the [s4s] world, he's "ass". No-one knows why.

Midfielders

Name	Picture	Description
	Keksandra		Best tan. NOT FOR LEWD :^)
	Nice Grill		Bury pink, bury nice.
	Swaglord		Best mod on all of 4chan, sometimes posts in Comic Sans and Papyruse
	ses		suddenly ses
	The Teeth Girl		the teeth girl
	:^)		Nothing is mean if it has a cheeky smiley at the end :^)
	D A N K M E M E S		"Born too late to explore the Earth, born too early to explore the galaxy, born just in time to BROWSE DANK MEMES." The whole reason for [s4s]'s existence, D A N K M E M E S is personified by the Gnome Child character from Runescape.

Forwards

Position	Name	Picture	Description
	Topkek		[s4s]'s first and best ebic meem :^D
	Patrick Bateman		In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
	Flowre		>implying she won't get carded immediately
	Youd be suprise		Expecting a hot girl? Youd be surprise

Reserves

Position	Name	Picture	Description
n/a	#fortune		Your Fortune: Godly Reservist
n/a	Shrek		Shrek is dreck
n/a	Yee		Yee joins the reserves after being voted off the roster before the 2017 4Chan Winter Cup
n/a	Doge		wow such defense many bench
n/a	qeq		qeq
n/a	Jack Ruselel		Jack Ruselel
n/a	Bury Smolhead		smol
n/a	Bury Ebil		ebil
n/a	Donut Man		One of [s4s]'s first ebin memes, he devours the opponent's strikers like he devours his powdered-sugar-covered donuts. Relegated to the reserves for failing to trim the weight gained from excessive consumption of donuts.
n/a	Dubs		Check 'em.
n/a	Gippo Dudee		Today he will remind them.
n/a	Introducing		Introducing Introducing
n/a	Bune Raven		Not a meme.
n/a	Cool Shirts Guy		After 11 years of work, I finally finished the ultimate meme. His name is Cool Shirts Guy. It's ridiculously amazing and has all kinds of epic jokes. Only I can post this meme because I am the best memer in the world. I am the best. No one is better than me, because, as previously stated, I am the best in the world at meming. I know I'm being modest, so I should say this meme was easy to make, because, as stated, I'm the best there is. This meme is perfect, hands down. Anyone who says it isn't perfect will have their comment deleted, blocked from my account, blocked from 4chan, computer destroyed with a hammer, and you will be killed by my millions of fans at the snap of my fingers, because I can demand that much respect, because I'm the best. Hope you enjoy my meme. His name is Cool Shirts Guy.
n/a	Fef		Top fef
n/a	JEJ		JEJ