/egg/ Roster

For the main article, visit /egg/.

History

As a team with only a caretaker and a passing interest in tactics, the players themselves are the pride and joy of /egg/ - after all, combined with their goal horns and chants they are the lifeblood of any team. Entering the VGL as 23 Eggman clones with different names, a full revamp once we got our shit together made us (in our humble opinion) one of the most visually unique teams in the game.

This page has basically no reason to exist other than show off shots of the boys in-game, so this'll be a work in progress while we wait for each of them to have some screentime.

Roster

Starters

The main 11, the guys you'll see first on pitch to get bodied, carded and subbed out.

Name	Number	Picture	Origin	Description
Eggman	1 (Captain)		The Sonic franchise	I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting". So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS. Except I'm not pissing on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drop-el-ets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too. The poster boy of mad scientists and engineers around the world. He's our captain, so for some reason we decided he should be our keeper. Also, he keeps having model issues with his hands whenever changes get made. Still makes saves though.
The Chad Stormworks Player	5	Placeholder	Stormworks	Look at this motherfucker. He can make a plane with less material than the average Ikea cabinet that somehow takes off with the acceleration of a rocket booster. Suck it Elon you Apartheid faggot THIS guy's gonna be the first to Mars, and he won't even be using a fucking spacesuit
Jebediah Kerman	10		Kerbal Space Program	The absolute madman of Kerbin himself. 'On loan' from /kspg/ (rest in fucking piss) for the foreseeable future, this guy has no sense of fear and an addiction for adrenaline. For most KSP players he's dead by the third mission though.
Chaos Engine	19		Besiege	The nearest thing to harnessing CLANG that's ever existed. A creation born during the height of /v/'s foray into the mechanics of Besiege consisting of a flaming ball attached to multiple highly unsafe sawblades. This baby can produce enough torque to tear apart any vehicle.
>Physician	6	Placeholder	Robocraft	"Dude I don't want to do physics and maths to play this shit, I'm not a fucking physician, I just want to fucking play lego robots. Fuck off with your boring school crap." - Lost child in /rcg/, circa. 2014
Thomasformer	20		Machinecraft	All the way from the Isle of Sodor, the brainchild of a tormented soul and a battlehorn by the Vengaboys, give it up for ya boi MOTHERFUCKING THOMASFORMERRRRRRRRRRR
SPIDERTRON	11		Factorio	What? Th- the robot? How the fuck are we going to make an eight-legged model work on the pitch?
Mechanically Engineered Autism	21		Factorio	It may look like incomprehensible spaghetti to you and its creator, but it runs at 100% efficiency and any changes you make will probably make it stop working so please don't touch it.
FAILURE	12	Placeholder	Infinifactory	The remains of some poor schmuck who got unwittingly dragged into a position they were clearly not qualified for.
CLANG	23		H̺̱͎͎͘E̼͓̩̞͗ͤ̿ ̵̗͖̯͚͇̯̤͊̍C̹̤̎ͫͫ͒O̱͐̓̆̊̄̕M̍̀̋̀ͤ̏ͧ҉̙͖̻E̟͈͕̰͇̼S͔̖	You are building your ship, when you begin to hear the distant sound of metal on metal. You cry as the sound creeps closer, for you know what will come. All you can do is pray He does not take you as well.
Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons	20		Space Engineers	Shaking hands with danger to achieve strange goals during the construction of mining vehicles, combinations of moving parts that are questionably safe at best and deadly at worst.

Bench

The ones who feel their aesthetics are underappreciated because you never get to see them.

Name	Number	Picture	Origin	Description
EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME	2	Placeholder	Many new indie games	Alright, so you're making a game. You've got the physics down. The blocks, items and player models are all up and running. You think the multiplayer might even function! It's time to put it on the store to let people have an early look at your dream child. ...content? What the fuck is 'content'?
Anatheus Vaya	16		Opus Magnum	The autistic alchemist. He just wants to make some compounds, kindly stop bothering him and let him continue with his work.
Nick "Unification" Smart	14	Placeholder	From The Depths	Clearly, the best way to improve a game is to remove mechanics by mashing them together into something easier for idiots to comprehend. What a great dev.
aeiou	4		Moonbase Alpha	aeiou? aeiou!
>Structural Integrity	8	Placeholder	Many games	We get the idea, but it's more of an afterthought when you're going for efficiency.
Turrents	17	Placeholder	Factorio	The unsung hero of xenophobic expansionism. Remember to keep them stocked with ammo! Yes that's how it's spelled, stop asking.
John Madden	9	Placeholder	Moonbase Alpha; John Madden Football video game franchise	Football!
Square-chan	7		Robocraft	Formerly known as Robokek, it was decided that the poster girl for meta-shitpost-shipbuilding should be named for herself rather than the long-dead game she represented. Arguably BobDaBiscuit's second most famous creation after Thomasformer (yes, that madman made both of them).
BLUE, HURT	13	Placeholder	A crazy Finnish man	It's a robot that uses artificial neurons to simulate pain. Of course it was a Finn that made it.
Godforsaken Astronaut	15		This unnerving toy	A representative for all the poor bastards lost to unscheduled re-entries and the cold void of space.
DAKKA	18		Warhammer 40k; any game with guns	Dis greenboi's gotta lotta gunz, and 'e's not afraid ta use 'em. EVERYFIN' always needs more dakka ya filfy grot.
Gas The Marek	3		Space Engineers; Keen Code House	The smug-faced bastard at the root of all (most of?) the stupid decisions behind the clunky mess that is Space Engineers, and other failed experiments like Medieval Engineers and Keen's AI bullshit. Development budget? Nah, spend it on a fucking mansion to use as an office. Either a bumbling idiot or an exit scammer genius.

The Dumpster

Players who simply weren't popular enough to keep their slot on the active roster, waiting for their day in the sun once again. For some it probably won't come again because they're dead fucking memes.

There are also a couple who, at the end of the roster polls, got chosen by the Omnissiah to not make it through after they drew with others and also some miscounting shenanigans. It was kind of a clusterfuck honestly

Name	Number	Picture	Origin	Description
RIP SERB	-7st	Placeholder	Space Engineers	The utterance of every player when the server inevitably decides it can't handle the strain of whatever batshit, CPU-consuming creations are being built within its confines. Survived the last roster poll for a fleeting second, until we were reminded that Eggman had been designated as always being on the team so we'd miscounted how many could be voted in. Subsequently, the Omnissiah said "lolno" and pushed him off the bottom of the list.
SHINY AND CHROME	-6rd	Placeholder	All games with SPEED	A warcry of all those who wish to be WITNESSED as their mortal bodies succumb to the forces of high-speed shenanigans.
M1 Bradley	-5st		Real life; Pentagon Wars	The unfortunate bastard child of higher-ups meddling with the design of what was ostensibly a troop carrier (now an amphibious masterpiece of a 10+-foot-high scout vehicle with infantry weapon portholes, an AA cannon, anti-tank missiles, a budget of $14 billion, over a decade of development... and no room for carrying troops).
Satisfactory	-4rd	Doesn't actually have one lol	The player character (...from Satisfactory)	Voted in as good enough for a new player suggestion yet voted out in the final poll for not being /egg/ enough. Kind of like the game, really.
Lemonhulk	-3st		The ol' beauty of the Spengies colonisation era	Space hulk: a term describing a vast, asymmetrical spaceship created from the bodies of smaller, derelict ships both functioning and otherwise grafted onto one another. Ugly, yet unbelievably beautiful. Created back when /seg/ and /svgg/-goers still flew the Warbros banner, her form was purely for function in raids against the unwitting Argentinian denizens of some public server they descended on to colonise for their own. The lemon-coated creation was tragically from an era before any of us considered saving her as a blueprint for future generations. As such, her glorious figure was never able to be truly represented on the pitch.
KEEEEEEEEN	-2st	Placeholder	Space Engineers	The exasperated call of an engie suffering from the shitty Keencode in a game that could have been so much more. For correct enunciation, think Kirk.
BLANEDS	-1rdn't		Space Engineers	Planets got added after years of delays, and they were as mediocre as people should have expected. Got the least votes by far in popularity polls. Shit mechanic, dead meme.