/pw/ History

Team Formation and Autumn 21: Running the Ropes

KWAB and Perc Angle celebrating /pw/'s first goal

When the final whistle blew on a 1-2 defeat to  /p/ to cap off the greatest run that  /asp/ had ever made, it not only signaled the end of an era, but the start of two new beginnings. After taking the pinfall to put the eventual 3rd place finishers over, the board got right to work on reshaping the cup team in their image. No longer did they have to share a home with their quiet neighbors or occupy a single thread on an unwilling host board. They now had a place to themselves.

The transition process went surprisingly smoothly, even as the board was in the midst of a fierce and still-ongoing console war between E-drones and AEWtists over which brand of mandrama was less cringe than the other. To fully signal the switch, the Monday Night Raw Red of  /asp/ was retired for a cool Smackdown Blue as the new primary team color, with Dimes Silver to accentuate it. These colors helped shape the vision of the team logo, a trial-and-error process that brought about the end result of the Smackdown Fist emblem, clutching the PRIDE FC bolt as an homage to the board's roots. The roster, unsurprisingly, inherited many of the same beloved faces from the final cup runs of  /asp/, including the veteran Undercarder and an invigorated KWAB, finally given the captain's armband that many had thought he'd deserved to establish him as the ace of the team. To fill in the gaps left by the departed  /xs/ role players, several new faces established themselves as worthy members of the inaugural roster by getting over quickly in the early day's of the boards existence, particularly new silver medal Perc Angle. But perhaps the most important roster move was Hulk Hogan, winner of the  /asp/ Summmmmmmerslam Royal Rumble, proving his icon status enough to be named the first gold forward of the team, carrying the weight of the offense with his 24-inch pythons.

Freshly remodeled with an aesthetics overhaul and a slew of brand new kits, /pw/ took to the pitch for their debut showing against a very game and pesky  /w/ squad. Perhaps letting the nerves of the moment get to him somewhat, the weak points of the match came when new centerback Blue Kane let star player Waifu Walls skirt past him on two near-identical throughball goals in the first half. However, sensing that the team needed a spark, the raped bitch captain took it upon himself and made a beautiful run straight down the center of the pitch, juking past two  /w/ defenders and sinking it past the outstretched arms of their keeper to not only keep the game competitive, but also score the historic first ever goal for the /pw/erbombs. Still, the score remained 1-2 in the wallpaper squad's favor up until the 75th minute, when a slew of close chances in the  /w/ box and constant pressure finally lead to breakthrough, as a perfect cross from The Undercarder found the turnbuckle that Perc Angle was perched from for a well-executed corner goal. It was here that the scoreline held for the remainder of the match, and /pw/ walked off with a well earned and hard fought 2-2 draw. Sure, it might not have been the absolute victory that the board was hoping for, but what better way to make an impression than by draw-ing the house in your debut match?

Next up in the anime tour of Autumn 2021 - a desperate (but still dangerous)  /a/, who needed a win to even have a chance in hell of advancing from the group. On a brisk Halloween evening, the /pw/erbombs took to the void, and Batcarder swooped down in an attempt to lay  /a/ to rest. In another chapter of the absolute suffering of  /a/, merely 5 minutes in Hulk Hogan decided that you're waifu indeed DOES belong in the trash, blasting the Kartwheelin' Aussie boy into the back of the net (to the commentators and fans' delight). However, after some cagey back and forth gameplay for another 35 minutes, with both teams getting decent chances at an integral goal,  /a/ proved that they were not quite ready to 404 from the cup just yet, with Yotsuba hitting a laserbeam of a shot from outside the box at the 41 minute mark. This may have been  /a/'s biggest mistake unfortunately, as such an act of aggression was simply too much for the Hulkster to take, ESPECIALLY from some filthy weebs. Hogan powered through a flat-footed /a/ defence right at the death of the half at 45+1 to return fire and end the half 2-1 in /pw/'s favour. The second half continued with a similar cagey, end-to-end style of play with both teams having good chances to score a game-defining goal, until Undercarder harnessed some of the American energy from a Hulk Hogan assist to send /pw/ rollin' (rollin' rollin') to a 3-1 lead at the 73rd minute. With their cup hopes looking dashed, a frantic  /a/ had one final hope spot, and Blue Kane decided to sell for them with some sub-par defending - allowing Yotsuba to quickly slot in another for a brace at the 77th minute. It was too little too late unfortunately, as the Wall defused a final couple of  /a/ attacks, and the Hulkamaniac decided that two nukes simply were not enough - obliterating Wideface and scoring a Hulk Hogan Hattrick at the 89th minute. And thus, the game ended with a dominant 4-2 /pw/ victory, eliminating a very game  /a/ and securing both a MotM nod for Hogan, and /pw/'s first official cup win.

Now in the driver's seat of the group with 4 points after 2 games, and looking to secure advancement as soon as possible, /pw/ came up against the final anime team of the group - the /c/uties.  /c/ was extremely hungry to come away from the match with some absolutely necessary points, and it was certainly reflected in their very scrappy play. The match started off with an escalating goalkeeper war - with both Ika-chan and Wall saving some increasingly difficult shots (as well as KWAB deciding to murder a couple of small anime girls), before the tension caused a few very poor quality shots for both sides. This was broken, however, with a cheeky chip-in by Do it for Her off a KWAB foul at the 30th minute, giving  /c/ some much needed momentum.  /c/ then continued the siege for the rest of the half, but some heads-up defending by /pw/, as well as a great save of a KWAB attempt by Ika-chan in the late minutes of the half ensured the half ended 1-0 in  /c/'s favour. This did not last long however, and a foul just outside the box by Big Bible AJ at the 51st minute caused a free kick, free goal from Yui - after Blue Kane decided that he didn't really feel like jumping up to meet the ball. This put  /c/ up 2-0, and /pw/ in jeopardy of losing the ability to control their own destiny for this group - and things were not looking like they were getting any better as  /c/ got an additional couple of shots that Wall just barely saved. That finish wasn't going to work for /pw/ though, brother, as changes were almost immediately made, and /pw/ decided to start their hope spot with Hogan and Carder juking and winning a 2 on 4 against  /c/ defenders for Hogan to power a huge shot in from well outside the box at the 69th (nice) minute. With time dwindling, both teams began to make increasingly desperate attacks, until the 86th minute where Undercarder made a desperate shot...and hit the post. But then, KWAB proved that it stands for Kevin Was Always Based, as he swooped in and picked up the ball, slotting it past Ika-chan for the second attempt, and leveling the score 2-2. With no real time left, KWAB decided that as a reward for leveling the game, he should level another small anime girl - but the refs had enough and finally gave Nash a yellow card.  /c/ could not convert though, and after one final close attack from /pw/, both teams would have to settle with a 2-2 draw. Whilst this was not ideal for /pw/, as a win would have almost guaranteed promotion, it was a fantastic comeback to secure at least 1 point - and allowed /pw/ to at least partially control their destiny for the final game, depending on how the other results landed.

After /w/ had finished cannibalizing the other anime teams, and securing promotion for themselves, it was down to this. Ally versus ally, friend versus friend, /pw/ versus  /v/. Unfortunately the crusade to end all anime teams had not been fully effective, and only one of the good guys could advance - with a draw favouring  /v/. With a solemn nod between SANIC and Hogan, the match began. The match began with some testy midfield action, and decent shots by KWAB, Hogan, Loss, and SANIC - showing that this seemed to be the start of an epic struggle for dominance. This suspense kept up for the entire first half with no goals - which was troublesome for /pw/ as  /v/ would advance over them on this result. But, amongst the fans, a rumbling started...a chant...WE WANT CHRISTIAN. This appeared to wake up the /pw/ offence, as the Hulkster passed back with an extremely precise pass to KWAB to allow Kevin to continue being based at the 51st minute. This was all /pw/ needed, a win of any kind - but the chants continued...WE WANT CHRISTIAN. Christian, however, may not have ever been needed, as after a quick possession change at the kickoff, KWAB hit an absolutely BEAUTIFUL curler to send the /pw/erbombs up 2-0 over  /v/ (Kek what a brace). With such a lead, this should be pretty easy to hold for /pw/...right? Still, the fans chanted WE WANT CHRISTIAN. After a solid 15 more minutes of /pw/ aggression,  /v/ and /pw/ both made their subs, and the fans got what they wanted, as Christian took to the field. However, with fresh legs, /v/ was on the warpath, as they could feel their promotion chances slipping away. After a couple of failed attacks on both teams ends,  /v/ finally found what they needed with a SANIC goal - proving if you go fast enough, you'll eventually beat the Wall. Now, it was serious. A draw for /pw/ may as well be a loss, as they would end up relegated. But, when they needed him most, Christian was there. Christian played an absolutely insane 25 minutes of football, from setting up attacks, to being an integral part of the midfield and the defence. CRUCIALLY, Christian intercepted a cross attempt from JC Denton with his god damned head at the 92nd (KWAB) minute in order to ensure the match ended up 2-1 in favour of /pw/. That was it. /pw/ had topped the group, advanced to their first elite in their first try, and they had to kill a good friend to do so (until  /v/ summoned  /asp/'s eliterisk power and got into Winter anyway). /pw/ was the only new* team to advance in Autumn.

TO BE CONTINUED...