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Congratulations /k/! |
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| Winners of the 2024 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
Rigged Wiki:Players of the week/2018
March
Friday, 30th of March
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Bepsi  /n/
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| Build: 185cm, 80kg | ||
| Player Skills: S04, S07, S08, S10, S12, S24 | ||
| Playing Style: Target Man | ||
| Divegrass can be an exhausting activity -- and when the need to just kick back from drills and practices, well, kicks in? Forget protein shakes, forget energy drinks, and forget all the rest of that gay shit -- what you really need is a fresh can of Bepsi! An /n/ mainstay, Bepsi has been on the team since Winter 2015: first as a starting CMF, and then working its way up the field -- in fact, it's now /n/'s gold striker! Aided by a peppy goalhorn and a propensity to score in the most opportune moments, this unlicensed-copyright-in-a-can has wriggled its way into the hearts of /n/ fans and ordinary viewers alike. Even if it's not the most prolific, it's certainly the most memorable -- so if you're feeling like celebrating /n/'s run to the Third Place Trophy with them, why not stop by your local WacDonalds and get a Bepsi with your fries?
Just be careful they don't give you a Cole instead. |
August
Wednesday, 15th of August
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Shia LaBeouf  /fa/
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| Build: 175cm, 80kg | ||
| Player Skills: S18, S22, S28 | ||
| Playing Style: Build Up | ||
| Creatures of the woods that /an/ are, even they were not prepared—for who possibly could be?— to challenge the undisputed king of the food chain—actual striker Shia LaBeouf himself! Except he isn't actually a striker: he's part of /fa/'s deep line of center-back benchers. But when /fa/ silver striker Fuccboi found himself suspended in advance of a critical match to determine /fa/'s Elite Cup fate, Shia's predatory instincts awakened, a stroke of fortune not unnoticed by /fa/ management, who, seeing the potential, positioned him as their impromptu replacement forward. To be sure, it was a strategy that drew the mostly unconvinced gazes of Cup viewers—until Shia LaBeouf gave his critics a SHIA SURPRISE by scoring a brace to keep /fa/ afloat. Though /fa/ will, in three months, yet see Autumn, it was Shia's heroic effort that made their survival, for a time, a genuine possibility.
Or, actually, I shouldn't say heroic effort. It was probably just a normal Saturday night for Shia LaBeouf. |
September
Tuesday, 25th of September
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Unity-chan  /vg/
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| Build: 185cm, 80kg | ||
| Player Skills: S04, S08, S11, S12, S14, S24 | ||
| Playing Style: Goal Poacher | ||
| Woody and Madoka Titus, goal-scoring twin terrors. Madokami, protector of purity. Doomrider, cocaine-snorting king of stylish goals. The Cup is no stranger to stand-out, juggernaut players. But all of them have one defining factor to them: when they shine, they shine throughout. Their performances are near-flawless. They leave nothing to doubt, and when they take the pitch, they dominate from the minute the ball comes to their feet.
This Featured Player article is about no such player. It's about a gold-medal striker who got sent off in her first match. It's about an absence that allowed their opponent to steal a win in the dying minutes. It's about an absence that forced a team to hold on for dear life; one that was, in the eyes of Cup watchers, sure to sink them before they even had a shot. But it's also about a player who made a difference. It's about the assists on both crucial goals that sent a team through to the knockouts. And the lone, decisive, threading-a-needle goal in their closest match-up. It's about a double brace. And at the pinnacle, it's about a player who went from no goals before the knockouts to the Golden Boot. Players of the Cup, I give you Unity-chan, /vg/'s most dataBASED. Do you dare to write the story that can top hers? That's for you, and for you alone, to decide. |