User:RollFizzlebeef//batsu/ Roster

Goalkeepers

#	Pos.	Name	Picture	Description	Ht/Wt/Foot	Cards	Playstyle
1	GK	Gassu		The man behind the scenes, he pulls the strings and does an impressive Hickson impression. HAMADA, ENDO: OUTTO			Offensive Goalkeeper
2	GK	Matsuko Deluxe		"Well rounded" and aggressive to no end. Has a thing for teammate Frisk Mints. Thinks THAI KIKKU should leave, however. HOSEI: OUTTO.			Offensive Goalkeeper
3	GK	OUTTO		Upwards of 200 times, all five players will be subject to punishment of various types. ZEIN: OUTTO

Defenders

#	Pos.	Name	Picture	Description	Ht/Wt/Foot	Cards	Playstyle
8	LB	Chiaki Pu~		Onii! Do your best despite our divorce! Pu~! TANAKA, MATSUMOTO, ENDO, HAMADA: OUTTO
6	CB	Jimmy "The Nose" Onishi		Never has one man's ineptitude at everything brought mirth at the worst possible times like Jimmy Onishi. Don't ask him to count to 100 in English, for all of our sakes. HOSEI, TANAKA: OUTTO
10	CB	Hosshan's Noodles		Where did they go? Up his nose and through his mouth, of course. HAMADA, MATSUMOTO, ENDO: OUTTO
11	RB	Hackam Naronpat		The bane of Tanaka's existence. TANAKA: THAI KIKKU HAMADA, MATSUMOTO, ENDO, HOSEI: OUTTO
17	LB	Itao's Wife		Some boys hug her, some boys kiss her, she thinks they're alright. But the one who raises her interest rate is always Mr. Right. ZEIN: OUTTO
4	LB	Clingy Hanako		Don't let her get a hold of you. She'll talk you to death. MATSUMOTO, TANAKA, ENDO: OUTTO
5	CB	Obachan Ichigo		REALLY don't let her get a hold of you. She'll do far worse than talk. HAMADA, MATSUMOTO: OUTTO
88	CB	Obachan Sango		Ripip Obachan Niigo HAMADA, MATSUMOTO: OUTTO
44	RB	RIPIP Itao		I WARNED YOU ABOUT DEATH, BRO. I TOLD YOU DAWG! (IT KEEPS HAPPENING!) ZEIN: OUTTO
95	RB	KOWAIKOWAIKOWAI		Heipo: The perverted producer who's scared of everything and everyone. Regularly used as comic relief and as a chew toy for the oft-unhappy players of the Batsu Game. ZEIN: SAFE

Midfielders

#	Pos.	Name	Picture	Description	Ht/Wt/Foot	Cards	Playstyle
16	DMF	Konya Ga Yamada		KONYA GA YAMADA... KONYA GA... YAMADA... KOOOONYA GA YA-MA-DA. TONIGHT IS YAMADA! TONIGHT IS CRITICAL! TONIGHT IS SMITH! MATSUMOTO, ENDO, TANAKA, HOSEI: OUTTO			The Destroyer
20	LMF	Frisk Mints		One half of Coc Au Rico. (Translators don't know if it's that or Cocorico.) Endo likes to add his favourite candy, Frisk Mints, to most every dish he makes for the group's "I've Always Wanted to Try This!" segment. All of the creations are completely inedible. GRADE: SKULL-AND-CROSSBONES OUT OF TEN			Box-to-Box
56	AMF	Macchan		One half of Downtown. Venerable and wise, yet surprisingly athletic for his age. Matsumoto's the only non-smoker of the five Gaki No Tsukai regulars and therefore will be relied upon heavily as a match carries on. Regular beatings at the hands of his comedic partner often give people the impression he's a masochist.			Box-to-Box
21	AMF	Baby Gorilla		The other half of Downtown. Hamada's scrunched face and large lips are often related to that of a primate. Don't say it to his face, though. He's quite the sadist.			Box-to-Box
12	RMF	THAI KIKKU		The other half of Coc Au Rico. Tanaka lanky frame and dirty appearance are often seen crumpled on the ground after a swift kick to the backside. The production crew continue to find new and innovative ways to shoehorn him into a kick, including having his son give the orders at the end of a touching letter to him.			Box-to-Box
18	DMF	SHOHEI-HEY!		Shohei-Hey! Shohei-HEEEEEEEEEEEY! ENDO, HAMADA, HOSEI: OUTTO			The Destroyer
19	DMF	Hitoshi's Brother		It's so nice to have someone in the family who's willing to cheer you up with a song. Isn't that right, Matsumoto-san? HAMADA, TANAKA, ENDO: OUTTO			The Destroyer
61	CMF	African TV Interview		BE MORE FUNNY. SHOW YOUR GENITALS. OKAY WRAP IT UP. MATSUMOTO, HOSEI: OUTTO			Dummy Runner

Forwards

#	Pos.	Name	Picture	Description	Ht/Wt/Foot	Cards	Playstyle
20	CF	Poor Little Subetta Boy		A subetta is a comedian whom tries hard but often has his jokes fall flat on purpose for comedic effect. Nobody tries harder nor gets stonewalled by his friends more than Hosei. Naturally, his talents for failing means that he's was practically born to be a striker in the 4CC format.			Target Man
9	SS	Masahiro Chono		GOD DAMN. It's former wrestler Masahiro Chono! He's here to slap Hosei's and look menacing. Often reduces Hosei to a pleading wreck as he begs. It used to be mercy he begged for, now it's for Chono to hit someone else for once. HAMADA, MATSUMOTO, ENDO, TANAKA: OUTTO			Fox-in-the-Box