User:HarryEnfield

LODS OF EMONE

/oilels/
After 10 soul-crushing years
/oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers
Founded 1973 Manager Peter Chiarelli Owner Daryl Katz IRL manager HarryEnfield Team colors Chat color B77B32 Oilel Copper Top scorer Wayne Gretzky (583) Top assister Wayne Gretzky (1086) Captain McJesus Website /oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers Nickname The Oilers
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 5 0 5 10 50%
GF GA GD 24 16 +8
Biggest win /ncaah/  0–4  /oilels/ 9/29/17 Biggest defeat /rags/  5–3  /oilels/ 10/13/17 First match /mild/  1–0  /oilels/ 9/15/17
Team music
Anthem Heaven In Alberta Victory Anthem Worlds Apart Playoff Anthem (Copper and Blue) Blood Of Heroes Goal horn THE DREAM Alt. Goal Horn THE FINAL SOLUTION scores
Kits

Roster

No. Position Player 33   GK Clam TalBOT 0   CB >No Defence 44   CB Chris Pronger's Contract 7   CB GOAT Coffey 83   DMF Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology 06   CMF THE DREAM OF '06 94   CMF Ryan Smyth's Mullet 69   LWF Revolving Door of Wingers 98   RWF Poolparty 29   SS THE FINAL SOLUTION 97   CF McJesus

No. Position Player 10   GK Ten Years Of Bad Management 4   CB Kris Russell Own Goal 77   CB Swedish Defense 25   CB Male Nurse 5   CB Oilers Won The Trade 15   CB Fire Chiarelli 64   DMF Prospect Graveyard 91   CMF Yung Drake 56   CMF Sweet Potato 93   CMF The Nuge 27   LWF L O O C H 18   RWF The Shittier Strome

Player	Description
Clam TalBOT	The answer the the revolving door of goalies
Ten Years Of Bad Management	Bad decisions galore
GOAT Coffey	Coffey > Orr fuck you
>No Defense	Almost no notable D-men since Chris Pronger
Swedish Defense	Klefbom and Larsson baybee
Chris Pronger's Contract	If he won't come back then I can at least have his contract /abandonment issues
Oilers Won The Trade	Thank you New Jersey Devils
Male Nurse	Darnell please pan out
McJesus	Our lord and saviour
THE FINAL SOLUTION	Based Leon Draisaitl
Poolparty	BULJU :-DDD (thank you Columbus for passing on him)
Revolving Door of Wingers	Who needs established wingers when you have tons of center/winger utility players
L O O C H	AKA the guy everyone hates unless he plays for their team
Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology	CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT WE JUST SAW
Sweet Potato	Kailer Yams Yamamoto
Ryan Smyth's Mullet	2nd in majesty only to Jagr
Prospect Graveyard	Where careers go to die
The Nuge	NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE
Yung Drake	Caggiula the college kid
THE DREAM OF '06	What if Roloson never got hurt...
The Shittier Strome	Not Dylan
Kris Russell own goal	J U S T
Fire Chiarelli	Before he fucks up my team even further

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
15 September 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-1 L
22 September 2017	/broons/	/hoc/ League 2017	3-4 L	57', 63', 90+3' McJesus
29 September 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017	4-0 W	50' Poolparty  58' McJesus  80' L O O C H  82' The Final Solution
6 October 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017	2-4 W	22', 35' McJesus  62', 82' The Final Solution
13 October 2017	/rags/	/hoc/ League 2017	3-5 L	6' Poolparty  11' L O O C H  14' McJesus
20 October 2017	/drw/	/hoc/ League 2017	2-0 L
20 October 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-4 W	10', 87' McJesus  45+1' Poolparty  68' The Final Solution
17 November 2017	/snes/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-2 W	45+1' Poolparty  73' Sucks At Hockey
15 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-2 L
15 December 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-4 W	25', 84' McJesus  31' THE FINAL SOLUTION  90+3' Poolparty