User:HarryEnfield

LODS OF EMONE

Manager for /tf2g/ in the /vg/ league

/oilels/
After 10 soul-crushing years
/oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers
Founded 1973 Manager Peter Chiarelli Owner Daryl Katz IRL manager HarryEnfield Team colors Chat color 9C6D01 Oilel Copper Top scorer Wayne Gretzky (583) Top assister Wayne Gretzky (1086) Captain McJesus Website /oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers Nickname The Oilers
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 10 1 9 20 50%
GF GA GD 39 33 +6
Biggest win /ncaah/  0–4  /oilels/ 9/29/17 Biggest defeat /SuperGT/  4–0  /oilels/ 01/27/19 First match /mild/  1–0  /oilels/ 9/15/17
Team music
Anthem Heaven In Alberta Playoff Anthem (Copper and Blue) Blood Of Heroes Goal horn THE DREAM Alt. Goal Horn THE FINAL SOLUTION scores
Kits

Roster

No. Position Player 19   GK >Finnish Goaltending 0   CB >No Defence 44   CB Chris Pronger's Contract 7   CB GOAT Coffey 93   DMF The Nuge 06   CMF THE DREAM OF '06 94   CMF Ryan Smyth's Mullet 27   LWF L O O C H 98   RWF Poolparty 29   SS THE FINAL SOLUTION 97   CF McJesus

No. Position Player 12   GK Twelve Years Of Bad Management 4   CB Kris Russell Own Goal 77   CB Swedish Defense 25   CB Male Nurse 5   CB Oilers Won The Trade 15   CB Fire Chiarelli 64   DMF Prospect Graveyard 91   CMF Yung Drake 16   CMF Pre-Cocaine Jarret Stoll 83   CMF Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology 17   LWF Sucks At Hockey 89   RWF 8 Point Gagner

Player	Description
>Finnish Goaltending	Mikko Koskinen
Twelve Years Of Bad Management	Bad decisions galore
GOAT Coffey	Coffey > Orr fuck you
>No Defense	Almost no notable D-men since Chris Pronger
Swedish Defense	Klefbom and Larsson baybee
Chris Pronger's Contract	If he won't come back then I can at least have his contract /abandonment issues
Oilers Won The Trade	Thank you New Jersey Devils
Male Nurse	Darnell please pan out
McJesus	Our lord and saviour
THE FINAL SOLUTION	Based Leon Draisaitl
Poolparty	BULJU :-DDD (thank you Columbus for passing on him)
Sucks At Hockey	Drew Doughty to Patrick Maroon: "Wow, you suck at hockey bud. How long have you been playing?"
L O O C H	AKA the guy everyone hates unless he plays for their team
Patrik Stefan Empty Net Apology	CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT WE JUST SAW
Pre-Cocaine Jarret Stoll	Before he went to LA
Ryan Smyth's Mullet	2nd in majesty only to Jagr
Prospect Graveyard	Where careers go to die
The Nuge	NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE
Yung Drake	Caggiula the college kid
THE DREAM OF '06	What if Roloson never got hurt...
Sucks At Hockey	Drew Doughty to Patrick Maroon: "Wow, you suck at hockey, buddy. How long have you been playing?"
Kris Russell own goal	J U S T
Fire Chiarelli	Before he fucks up my team even further

Awards

Player	Award - Season
McJesus	Hart Memorial Trophy (MVP) - /hoc/ League 2017
McJesus	Rocket Richard (Most Goals) - /hoc/ League 2017

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
15 September 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-1 L
22 September 2017	/broons/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	3-4 L	57', 63', 90+3' McJesus
29 September 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	4-0 W	50' Poolparty  58' McJesus  80' L O O C H  82' The Final Solution
6 October 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	2-4 W	22', 35' McJesus  62', 82' The Final Solution
13 October 2017	/rags/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	3-5 L	6' Poolparty  11' L O O C H  14' McJesus
20 October 2017	/drw/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	2-0 L
20 October 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-4 W	10', 87' McJesus  45+1' Poolparty  68' The Final Solution
17 November 2017	/snes/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-2 W	45+1' Poolparty  73' Sucks At Hockey
15 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-2 L
15 December 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017 Regular Season	0-4 W	25', 84' McJesus  31' The Final Solution  90+3' Poolparty
22 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Playoffs - Semi-Finals	0-1 L
22 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Playoffs - Semi-Finals	2-3 W (a.e.t.)	20' Poolparty  36' The Final Solution  92' McJesus
22 December 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017 Playoffs - Semi-Finals	1-3 L	88' The Final Solution
January 19, 2019	/copalib/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Group Stage	0-1 L
January 20, 2019	/isles/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Group Stage	3-1 W	13' PoolParty  45+1' L O O C H  69' McJesus
January 25, 2019	/trb/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Group Stage	2-3 W	8', 57' McJesus  85' The Final Solution
January 26, 2019	/ncaah/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Playoff Round	1-2 W	13' The Final Solution  90+5' McJesus
January 27, 2019	/SuperGT/	/sp/erb Owl 2019 Quarterfinals	0-4 L
March 21, 2019	/gt/	Beta Bowl 3 Group Stage	0-1 W	73' Poolparty
March 22, 2019	/ice/	Beta Bowl 3 Group Stage	2-2 D	5', 28' McJesus
March 24, 2019	/bang/	Beta Bowl 3 Group Stage	3-3 D	11' McJesus  40' (pen.), 63' The Final Solution