/asp/ Roster

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Starter

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Gold

Goalkeepers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
GK	VACANT		Many time world champion across many different federations, including singlehandedly winning the 2012 Summer Cup. How does he keep doing it?
GK	THAT'S THE WALL, BROTHER		THAT'S THE WALL, BROTHER! HEY WALL! IF YOU WANT SOME, COME GET SOME! THAT'S THE WALL UP THERE, BROTHER!

Defenders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CB	Triple Cage		NO STEPH PLEASE, LET ME OUT OF THE CAGE, I DON'T WANT IT NOOOOOOOOO
CB	The Ol' Snake		Now I see a lot of people online and in wrestling communities trying to tear down the old Snake with what they consider the "Worst promo of all time" but in reality we the masses have been too dumb to understand the level of kino that Jake was throwing down >Everyone over the years have attributed the "You wanna play 21? I've got 22" line as being a sign that Jake doesn't know the rules of Blackjack >In actuality what Mr. Roberts means is that he has a .22 Caliber gun, and that even if his opponent truly has the perfect hand he will not walk away the victor because Jake is vicious and will do anything to win. >The line "Do you wanna play blackjack? I got two of those too" is then him saying that he has two actual blackjacks, a type of crude club used to bash people >Finally the line "You wanna play Aces and Eights? I got too many of those" is probably the most kino of them all >Aces and Eights goes by another name. They are called "Dead Man's Hand" because it is said to be the cards that Wild Bill Hickok, a famous outlaw, was holding when he was shot dead >Jake is then implying that he has led a trail of men who thought they could best the snake only to wind up dead at his hand over the years. It's time to face the facts, that even while ballooned off his ass on enough drugs to kill a bull, Jake Roberts could still cut a more cerebral promo than anyone else in the history of the business
CB	Bruce Lee		Arguably the most famous martial artist who ever lived and a longtime /asp/ regular, Bruce Lee's deft skills with his feet will no doubt come in handy on the field. Flow like water, my friend.
CB	Zorb		I'M JUST A ZORBY BOY zorby booooooooy IT'S NOT A KIDS TOY kiiiiiiids tooooooooy
CB	Jannetty		Who's the Jannetty? Youse the Jannetty.

Midfielders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
AMF	KWAB		Kevin Nash was raped in the blistering summer of 1992. Kek, what a bitch.
CMF	Tarps		Time to lay the tarps. Time to lay the tarrrrrrrrrps! huhuhuhuhu
CMF	DEAN		DEAN. I'M PROUD OF YOU, BOY. YOU GAVE IT TO THE PEOPLE.
CMF	Jeriboomer		Because when you're starting up a rival wrestling promotion designed to compete with the WWE, why WOULDN'T you make a 49 year old your inaugural champ?
LMF	BARB		"Hey Barb, get in here! NXT is on!"
RMF	GO ACE		The Cena of New Japan, Hiroshi Tanahashi has held down the fort for his home promotion for the better part of a decade. GO ACE!
CMF	Plans Change		W-well, uh, y-ya see, well, uh, plans change. That'll be $10.99
CMF	Big Knife Manju		It's NOT a tear in the poster.
CMF	Existential Tony		Tony Hawk is stuck in an existential nightmare where no one knows or cares who he is anymore. Hopefully that doesn't impact his divegrass abilities.
LMF	Krispen Wah		Who is this Krispen Wah guy? Never heard of him. He is definitely not a former World Champion and Royal Rumble winner.
LMF	Reset the Counter		OH NONONONONONO, AEWtists BTFO yet again!
RMF	Big Bible AJ		A world-champion talent for every promotion he's ever worked for, it could be argued that AJ Styles is the biggest dime-drawer in modern WWE today. The power of God, dimes, and his files has propelled AJ into being a star for the /asp/ roster.
RMF	Ding-Dong Diddly		Finna.
DMF	Dimes		The true mark of any great wrestler is how many dimes you can draw. It is the ultimate status symbol in the industry.

Attackers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CF	Hollywood John		He is a record tying 13-time WWE champion, 3-time World Heavyweight champion, 2-time Royal Rumble winner, 8-time WWE Slammy Award winner and a numerous time holder of some unimportant championships. He is the most divisive player in WWE and 4CC history. He is the ultimate underdog. He...actually hasn't been around for awhile. Still, regardless of how long it's been since he's been in the ring, John Cena IS /asp/. Powered by a mixture of sheer willpower and Fruity Pebbles, he is here to add some divegrass trophies to his list of accolades. Who wins LOL? CENAWINSLOL.
CF	Undercarder		There are few things that are truly badass. There's me, the Undercarder, the American Badass. There's KWAB, mmmmmmmm you don't wanna mess with him. There's the Tarps, the Dimes, the DEANs. And then there are those who play divegrass in the 4chan Cup. To the man, they're bad to the bone.