/r9k/

/r9k/
>tfw no gf ;_;
/r9k/ - ROBOT9001
Founded c. Winter 2011-2012 IRL manager El Negrito !!0FiEhZGyS/D Team colors Chat color 480008 Maroon Ranking 22 Highest rank 18 ((October, 2012)) Lowest rank 33 ((July, 2012)) Top scorer Robot9001 (20) Top assister (N/A) Captain ROBOT9001 Website /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Nickname The Neckbears, Arcanines, Robots
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 13 5 13 31 41.94%
GF GA GD 0 0 0
Biggest win /r9k/  5–0  /cm/ 21 October, 2012 Biggest defeat /r9k/  0–6  /co/ 2 June 2012 First match /r9k/  1–1  /soc/ 12 February, 2012
Elite Cup Appearances N/A (First in N/A) Best result N/A, N/A Babby Cup Appearances N/A (First in N/A) Best result N/A, N/A
Team music
Anthem ParaPark - Crush Crush Faint Goal horn Grand Finale - Forever Alone feat. Alex Theesfield
Kits

The team anticipates the chance to be alpha as fuck and meet many waifus who will be willing to b-back that ass up at El Monumental. Will they take on the field or will they finally drown on their own tear-filled basements? This team actually lacks pretty much half their physical energy due to their fapping addiction.

Tactics

All-in-One Spring Babbies Export. Includes:

• Export
• Kits
• Faces
• Stadium and Stadium Thumbnail

Download Link

Other Notable /r9k/ changes:

• New Anthem
• Added Poop Jug
• /r9k/ has located a sponsor for jerseys.

Team colors: Maroon - (128,0,0) White - (255,255,255)

Also making it's return, it is >tfwnogf's goal horn for whenever he scores: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ltkyqfMjCg

Roster

No. Position Player 1   GK WHITE KNIGHT (S16) 4   CB FEMINAZI 6   CB INNOCENT PEDOPHILE 5   DMF NECKBEARD (S14) 9   LB FOREVER ALONE 12   RB LONER ANGER 15   CMF SPAGHETTI 18   CMF >TFW NO GF (C) (P01, S18, S19) 21   RWF KISSLESS VIRGIN (P03, P04) 22   LWF SADFROG (P01, S12) 23   CF ROBOT9001 (P02, S09, S10)

No. Position Player 2   GK WT SNACKS 3   GK MOOTBLOXX 7   CB POOP JUG 8   CB BETA AS FUCK (S20) 10   LB DEGENERATE 13   RB NORMALFAG 11   LB CAPE&FEDORA 14   RB WIZARD 16   DMF GREENTEXT 17   DMF MISOGYNIST 19   CMF CHAD THUNDERCOCK (S20) 20   CMF OMEGLE

Formations

Preset 1

Preset 2 Preset 3

Rivalries

/r9k/ vs. /adv/: The Beta Bowl

U-umm... We're b-both too scared to pass the ball around. S-so our matches are usually 0 g-goal thrillers...

Cup History

Early managerless era

In 2012, /r9k/ had the honor of facing the debuting >gold defender in /hr/.

Due to not having a manager, /r9k/'s players could not do much to prove that they are not as beta as the board they represent. Despite not having any momentum going into the 2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup, The Robots managed to find their first win ever, and it was against /mlp/. Sadly, this was not enough to qualify for the Summer Cup. While trying to recover from this heartbreak, /r9k/ finished the Summer season with a 6-0 loss to /co/, the biggest defeat in the team's history.

A rise (of hatred from others) to the finals

In the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup, Tr4pD00r !!Riz8Z+kuSO7 took /r9k/ to new heights, but like many other events in the cup, it did not happen without controversy. The group stage saw /r9k/ get 9 points after beating some questionable competition: /u/, a team copying /sp/'s Summer Cup tactics, /vg/, a team that was using tactics given to them by /u/'s manager at the time, and /b/, a team that was rigged.

At the Round of 16, /cm/ quickly crumbled against /r9k/ in a 5-0 loss where The Neckbears had a 4-0 lead at half time. Fans went from being simply shocked with /r9k/'s winning streak to hating the team after the Beta Bowl in the quarterfinals. Despite /adv/'s defense having three purple defenders, /r9k/ couldn't break through that weak defense and only had one shot on target. /adv/'s offense was not better and after 120 of dull football, and whiny commentary, it was time for penalty kicks. In the end, it came down to who could spill less spaghetti in their shots, and /r9k/ won 3-2 in the penalty shoot-out after /adv/ missed three shots. Numerous people have gone on to call this the worst match in cup history.

Up next in the semifinals, /tv/ was hoping for an easy win against a tired /r9k/ side, but Japanese Lettuce Hardcore and Sadfrog's doubles took /r9k/ to the finals. The viewers were upset at a cup favorite being eliminated by a hated team, but would get come pleasure out of the final. /wg/'s attack easily breached /r9k/'s tired defense as their fatigue finally caught up with them. A great run came to a pitiful end with a 5-1 loss.

A miserable run summed up in one image.

Winter 2013: The losing streak gets rolling

After a failed friendly rematch against /wg/, Tr4d00r surprisingly quit his job as /r9k/'s manager. He would go on to make an autistic confession about being Lo/lit/a some time later, and so his return to /r9k/ management was (and still is) unlikely at best.

Moose !ct1wZnSHeM took over the team for the 2013 4chan Winter Cup, and proceeded to go missing for two of the three group stage matches. Despite this, /sp/ surprisingly struggled against them, but managed to win 2-1 against the Autumn Babby Cup finalists. In the following match, /cm/ got their revenge on /r9k/ with a 4-0 blowout win. Since /x/ had also lost to /sp/ on the same match day, /cm/ and /sp/ both had 6 points, thus sending /r9k/ back to a Babby Cup before the group stage was over.

Both relegated teams had a mediocre match where /x/ got a consolation win over an /r9k/ side that went from being a cup finalist to being a punching bag for everyone. After the Winter Cup was over, it was pointed out on a /vg/ thread that Moose was a /sp/artan and he would be accused of sabotaging the team. Not much came from this because he already wanted to quit after such a bad run in the Winter Cup.

Another failed manager and Arab money

>tfw !!fjYpRE2R+u2 became /r9k/'s manager for the Spring season. After losing 4-2 to /diy/ in a game where /r9k/'s early 2-0 lead meant nothing, and becoming the first team to ever lose to /c/, some wondered if /r9k/ would ever break the losing streak. After /o/ won 3-2 against /r9k/, a single fan finally lost patience with the team. He would go around on Skype offering money to 4chan Cup managers so that they would manage /r9k/, and would name himself Muzzy !vceFUCKYOU on the /vg/ threads. This man would go on to explain that the money being paid would be a "microscopic portion" of inheritance money, and that despite not being from Saudi Arabia, he is, in fact, Arabic.

No one took him up on the offer, and /r9k/ continued to lose until the group stage was over.

Dual management for Autumn

The team's manager for the 2013 Spring Babby Cup misteriously disappeared after Dragongate, and because no one felt like challenging /r9k/, the team became inactive in the Summer. Eventually, /fit/zlsperger !!PUUQhs84Yb3 took over the team and changed his name to Ronery Robot after a failed run in the 2013 4chan Summer Cup. El Negrito !!0FiEhZGyS/D joined him to help out with tactical decisions, and at first, it seemed like success was in /r9k/'s future. In the Autumn Babby Cup friendlies, /r9k/ finally broke the losing streak and started a winning streak with wins against /g/ and /3/.

This run of good form did not continue in the actual 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. On the first match for The Robots, /r9k/ could only get a 1-0 win over a managerless /cgl/. Next, /pol/ continued their resurrection with a 4-2 win over /r9k/ where /pol/ scored three goals in under twenty minutes. The spaghetti would continue to flow in the match against /s4s/. At one point, /s4s/ was up 4-2, but /r9k/ came back to draw 4-4. This memorable comeback would only be turned into a heartbreaking end for /r9k/: /cgl/ won the match that followed against /pol/ 4-3 when the Seagulls only needed to win by one goal to take second place and crush /r9k/'s dreams. Upon the culmination of the group, Ronery Robot officially announced his retirement, saddened at not being able to take The Robots to the Winter Cup, but nonetheless glad at helping turn around what was once the laughingstock of the 4chan Cup. This will leave El Negrito in charge of /r9k/ for the future.

Spring Babby Cup Preparations

Players sport the new /r9k/ home and away kit, respectively.

Upon the resignation of his co-manager, El Negrito !!0FiEhZGyS/D signed a six (6) season deal to remain as manager of /r9k/ after outperforming expectations (aka not fall to fetus.) This coincided with the implementation of PES 2014, giving him the chance to recreate the team that he envisioned for the future. Being the tactical mastermind he is, his first order of business was to keep all players that were called up in the Autumn babbies and reuse the standard /r9k/ formation that brought them success. The team was embroiled in an early scandal after El Negrito allowed the players access to the team credit card and a popular camwhore site. With no money on hand for required new kits, the owner was forced to infuse capital or else the team would play with old kits from San Lorenzo, a small team a few miles south. Ongoing restrictions were still in place since Arab-gate that did not allow the team a sponsor, but the manager finally scrounged up the funds to purchase basic kits for the team’s two winter friendlies against /hr/ and /sp/, a win and a draw respectively.

Match History

Official Matches

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
February 12, 2012	/soc/	2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies	1-1 D	Unknown
February 25, 2012	/adv/	2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies	1-3 L	Unknown
March 23, 2012	/sci/	2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup	1-1 D	90+2' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
March 24, 2012	/pol/	2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup	3-0 L
March 25, 2012	/mlp/	2012 4chan Spring Babby Cup	2-0 W	54' Kissless Virgin  80' Robot9001
May 12, 2012	/adv/	2012 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies	0-2 L
May 16, 2012	/s/	2012 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies	1-0 W	78' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
June 2, 2012	/co/	2012 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies	6-0 L
August 19, 2012	/ck/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies	3-1 L	78' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
September 2, 2012	/hr/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies	1-1 D	26' Robot9001
September 9, 2012	/cgl/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies	1-0 W	22' Robot9001
October 13, 2012	/u/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	3-2 W	31' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore  37' Feito-chan  86' Robot9001
October 19, 2012	/b/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	2-1 W	6', 67' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
October 20, 2012	/vg/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	3-2 W	53', 60' Robot9001  81' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
October 21, 2012	/cm/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	5-0 W	2', 11', 16' Robot9001  25' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore  77' Sadfrog
October 21, 2012	/adv/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	0-0 W	3-2 W on penalties
October 21, 2012	/tv/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	4-2 W	26', 90+2' Sadfrog  36', 87' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
October 21, 2012	/wg/	2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	1-5 L	25' Japanese Lettuce Hardcore
December 8, 2012	/wg/	2013 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies	1-2 L	80' Robot9001
February 9, 2013	/sp/	2013 4chan Winter Cup	1-2 L	82' Shores
February 15, 2013	/cm/	2013 4chan Winter Cup	0-4 L
February 17, 2013	/x/	2013 4chan Winter Cup	1-2 L	87' >tfw no gf
April 5, 2013	/diy/	2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies	2-4 L	1', 7' Robot9001
April 13, 2013	/c/	2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies	1-4 L	34' Robot9001
May 4, 2013	/o/	2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup	2-3 L	61' Robot9001  84' >tfw no gf
May 10, 2013	/u/	2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup	0-3 L
May 12, 2013	/mlp/	2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup	1-2 L	6' >tfw no gf
September 28, 2013	/g/	2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies	0-1 W	58' Kissless Virgin
October 5, 2013	/3/	2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies	1-3 W	2' (pen.), 57' Robot9001  90' Sadfrog
November 16, 2013	/cgl/	2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	1-0 W	38' Chad Thundercock
November 22, 2013	/pol/	2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	4-2 L	6' >tfw no gf  21' Robot9001
November 24, 2013	/s4s/	2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup	4-4 D	2', 67', 77' Robot9001  30' Kissless Virgin
January 18, 2014	/hr/	2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies	2-0 W	47' >tfw no gf  90+' Robot9001
January 26, 2014	/sp/	2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies	2-2 D	28' Robot9001  44' Kissless Virgin