User:HarryEnfield

LODS OF EMONE

/oilels/
After 10 soul-crushing years
/oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers
Founded 1973 Manager Peter Chiarelli Owner Daryl Katz IRL manager HarryEnfield Team colors Chat color B77B32 Oilel Copper Top scorer Wayne Gretzky (583) Top assister Wayne Gretzky (1086) Captain McJesus Website /oilels/ - Edmonton Oilers Nickname The Oilers
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 3 0 4 7 42.86%
GF GA GD 18 14 +4
Biggest win /ncaah/  0–4  /oilels/ 9/29/17 Biggest defeat /rags/  5–3  /oilels/ 10/13/17 First match /mild/  1–0  /oilels/ 9/15/17
Team music
Anthem Heaven In Alberta Victory Anthem Worlds Apart Playoff Anthem (Copper and Blue) Blood Of Heroes Goal horn THE DREAM Alt. Goal Horn THE FINAL SOLUTION scores
Kits

Roster

No. Position Player 33   GK Clam TalBOT 0   CB >No Defence 44   CB Chris Pronger's Contract 7   CB GOAT Coffey 55   DMF Le Test Tube 06   CMF THE DREAM OF '06 94   CMF Ryan Smyth's Mullet 19   LWF Sucks At Hockey 98   RWF Poolparty 29   SS THE FINAL SOLUTION 97   CF McJesus

No. Position Player 10   GK Ten Years Of Bad Management 80   CB Remember the 80's? 77   CB Swedish Defense 25   CB Male Nurse 6   CB Oilers Won The Trade 15   CB Chia Pet 64   DMF Prospect Graveyard 36   CMF Yung Drake 16   CMF Pre-Cocaine Jarret Stoll 93   CMF The Nuge 27   LWF L O O C H 18   RWF The Shittier Strome

Player	Description
Clam TalBOT	The answer the the revolving door of goalies
Ten Years Of Bad Management	Bad decisions galore
GOAT Coffey	Coffey > Orr fuck you
>No Defense	Almost no notable D-men since Chris Pronger
Swedish Defense	Klefbom and Larsson baybee
Chris Pronger's Contract	If he won't come back then I can at least have his contract /abandonment issues
Oilers Won The Trade	Thank you New Jersey Devils
Male Nurse	Darnell please pan out
McJesus	Our lord and saviour
THE FINAL SOLUTION	Based Leon Draisaitl
Poolparty	BULJU :-DDD (thank you Columbus for passing on him)
Sucks At Hockey	Drew Doughty to Patrick Maroon: "Wow, you suck at hockey, buddy! How long have you been playing?"
L O O C H	AKA the guy everyone hates unless he plays for their team
Le Test Tube	The best utility player ever, you can't prove me wrong
Pre-Cocaine Jarret Stoll	Before he went to LA
Ryan Smyth's Mullet	2nd in majesty only to Jagr
Prospect Graveyard	Where careers go to die
The Nuge	NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE
Yung Drake	Caggiula the college kid
THE DREAM OF '06	What if Roloson never got hurt...
The Shittier Strome	Not Dylan
Remember The 80's?	It was a much more pleasant time
Chia Pet	Please don't fuck up my team

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
15 September 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-1 L
22 September 2017	/broons/	/hoc/ League 2017	3-4 L	57', 63', 90+3' McJesus
29 September 2017	/ncaah/	/hoc/ League 2017	4-0 W	50' Poolparty  58' McJesus  80' L O O C H  82' The Final Solution
6 October 2017	/stors/	/hoc/ League 2017	2-4 W	22', 35' McJesus  62', 82' The Final Solution
13 October 2017	/rags/	/hoc/ League 2017	3-5 L	6' Poolparty  11' L O O C H  14' McJesus
20 October 2017	/drw/	/hoc/ League 2017	2-0 L
20 October 2017	/mild/	/hoc/ League 2017	0-4 W	10', 87' McJesus  45+1' Poolparty  68' The Final Solution