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Current Roster
Goalkeepers
| Position
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Number
|
|
|
>no 110% speed
|
ph
|
Just not fast enough.
|
1
|
|
|
Good luck! I'm behind 7000 Powerliches
|
ph
|
The Cloak of the Undead King is fun and balanced.
|
2
|
Defence
| Position
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Number
|
|
|
Giant Pile of DLC
|
ph
|
Every Paradox game is unplayable without it.
|
4
|
|
|
Metal Boxes
|
ph
|
Look! Rhinos! RRRRRRHHHHIIIIIIINNNNNOOOSSSSS! Our enemies hide in METAL BAWKSES, DA KOWARDZ! TEH FEWLZ!! We...(asthma) We should take away their METAL BAWKSES!
|
5
|
|
|
"Glad you could bake it, Uther."
|
ph
|
This entire citrella must be peeled.
|
6
|
|
|
Is PES a Strategy Game?
|
ph
|
Testing suggests otherwise.
|
13
|
|
|
Nuclear Launch Detected
|
ph
|
Should've built more detection.
|
14
|
|
|
ABIBA TOOT
|
ph
|
This is war.
|
23
|
Midfield
| Position
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Number
|
|
|
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
|
ph
|
You require more minerals. You require more Vespene gas.
|
3
|
|
|
El Presidente
|
ph
|
No ball could possibly get past El Presidente's watchful eyes. Any questions?
|
7
|
|
|
Artificial """Intelligence"""
|
ph
|
Almost ubiquitous. The AI is for comp stomps; challenge is found against players.
|
8
|
|
|
KANE LIVES
|
ph
|
The captain and Time's Man of the Year,
KANE
LIVES
IN
DEATH
|
12
|
|
|
MISTOPHOROI TOXOTAI KRETIKOI
|
ph
|
The peak of modding autism.
|
16
|
|
|
WHEN THE WORK RESULT WAS GOOD
|
ph
|
That'll be all your energy plus tip.
The music that is played by The Silent Orchestra when it escapes consists of 4 Movements. As the piece progresses, the audience listening will suffer WHITE damage.
|
22
|
|
|
King Gedivilas of Chadtuania
|
ph
|
King Gedivilas takes to the divegrass pitch to find a whole new world of other people's wives to seduce.
|
15
|
|
|
Karl Franz
|
ph
|
SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS!
|
18
|
|
|
Panzerkampfwagenphilia
|
ph
|
The eternal wehraboo.
|
20
|
|
|
ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE
|
ph
|
Whether it's the original six 'ling rush, a newfag's 12-pool or another form of all-out early aggression entirely, the violence has escalated and that's okay.
|
19
|
|
|
Horatio
|
ph
|
All will be as Horatio. There is no room for the aesthetically-challenged.
|
21
|
|
|
Tall/Wide
|
ph
|
Two vastly different approaches, offering unparalleled midfield flexibility.
|
17
|
Attack
| Position
|
Name
|
Picture
|
Description
|
Number
|
|
|
">99% chance to hit"
|
ph
|
Surely nu-com would never lie to you about probabilities.
|
10
|
|
|
Nuclear Gandhi
|
ph
|
Having brought every other civilisation to ruin, Gandhi has stepped back from national leadership to nuke the back of the net.
|
11
|
|
|
Wololo
|
ph
|
WTF I love /vst/ now
|
9
|
The Memorial
No soldiers have yet fallen in the line of duty.