/his/
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3)
The great Emperor Hiroyuki Nishimura answered the calls of the repressed /his/ communities of 4chan and granted them a homeland. This homeland was called /his/; and it was estimated to have been created in 2015AD (but possibly sometime after that because we couldn't be fucked sourcing). The anons of this board have come together to form a team that represents them in the 4chan Cup, in all their historical, humanitarian and philosophical capacity.
After a humiliating defeat in Winterby overwhelming forces of /u/ and /mlp/ the /his/ forces are in full retreat. Now they are preparing for Spring.
By the way, we have a discord server now. Join here!
Exports
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup
- Tactical Export:
- Aesthetics Export:
- Music Export:
Roster
- Main Article: /his/ roster
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Special music
Anthem for /u/: Franz Joseph Haydn, String Quartet No. 62 in C major, Op. 76, No. 3, Hob.III:77, "Emperor"
History
2018 Winter Campaign
Step Aside Peasants; his Royal Highness takes to the Field
Strategically, there was little more that could have been done - that was the assertion of the coaching staff come the close of the Summer fighting season. His most Royal Highness Charles II, the King of Spain, Naples, Sardinia, Sicily and Burgundy, disagreed. With vigour and energy his majesty revamped the team to include himself, donned his football boots and strode out into the narrow and blustery winter cup like a colossus.
/his/ v /fit/
The team, all of them petty men, walked beneath his huge legs and basked in the shade of his majestic chin as they began their slow march towards a premiership. /fit/, having been challenged by the presence of the ultimate alpha male, were the first combatants /his/ were to face. The contest was noted in the opening minutes for a lack of control from both /his/ and /fit/, but /his/ would not bow to the aggressive style that /fit/ adopted.
- ...It's true, they're not really being intimidated by the muscles of /fit/. /fit/ wojak back there... whoever that is - ah, it's 'feelin' fit, buddy' - is basically ripping out of his clothes he's so ripped, but /his/ will not be intimidated.
- --Marqod
- --Marqod
- ...It's true, they're not really being intimidated by the muscles of /fit/. /fit/ wojak back there... whoever that is - ah, it's 'feelin' fit, buddy' - is basically ripping out of his clothes he's so ripped, but /his/ will not be intimidated.
Contrary to this, in fact, /his/ dominated the half in both possession and territory (63% possession with 4 shots on goal), though they were unable to capitalize immediately due to a tightly-packed defence. >Holy>Roman>Empire continued to apply pressure, starting in the 25th minute with a pass to an on-side Charles II, but despite a mighty chin swing from his majesty READ THE FUCKING STICKY made a solid save to keep the scores nil-all. Barely a minute later, a penalty conceded by Gains Goblin allowed Bismarck an attempt, but again the /fit/ goalkeeper was competent, and in such a way the game continued at an impasse until the 35th minute - where a daring chip into territory by Bismarck met an aerial strike by Charles II, which hit the post and then the back of the goalkeeper's head to award /his/ their first goal of the season (albiet not one they scored). /fit/'s strategy shift into counterattack was immediate, and a header by /fit/ striker Zyzz into the top-left pocket was saved comfortably by the new /his/ Goalkeeper, Maginot Line, to end the half 1-0.
The second half began with reasonable /fit/ offensive maneuvers, but a sudden breakthrough by >Holy>Roman>Empire to beat three offenders kept them honest, forcing the goalie into an alarming dive to save a blooter. The resulting corner gave a rare opportunity to Lutheran Shitposter, who struck well, but yet-a-fucking-gain /fit/'s goalie bore the brunt of the attack with a good save.
- I saw the book moving at about the right speed - that was a power header for a non-medal [player]!
- --Marqod, referring to Lutheran Shitposter's playermodel (a bible)
- --Marqod, referring to Lutheran Shitposter's playermodel (a bible)
- I saw the book moving at about the right speed - that was a power header for a non-medal [player]!
/fit/ scrambled to assemble a proper countermeasure, finally taking it to the /his/ defensive line in the 68th minute - a potential shot on goal by Squatz was pounced on by the Maginot Line. Occasional moments of glory emerged to keep /fit/ aggression at bay, with Gauled utterly deleting two defenders in the 75th minute to keep the ball aggressively postured. Moments later, Bomber Harris sensed the presence of the eternal g*rman and dropped a bomb that cannoned into the back of Bismarck's head, who was then also fouled for being offside. The turnabout took the ball back into /his/'s defensive half, and gave opportunity afresh to /fit/, but ultimate several brilliant and not-at-all-reflected-in-real-life defences by the Maginot Line rendered the attack inert, and the /his/torians emerged 1-0 and victorious in their first match for the season.
/his/ v /u/; Featuring 'That Goal'
- "...[A] magnificent joint anthem. We're into this comfy match."
- --Doyes, after the dual /his/-/u/ Anthem
- --Doyes, after the dual /his/-/u/ Anthem
- "...[A] magnificent joint anthem. We're into this comfy match."
It was a dignified affair at the /u/ home stadium of St. Michael's, but those on the /his/ side who were old enough to remember the previous year remembered the indignities suffered at the hands of /u/, who would go on to place second in the Summer Cup of 2017. So too were the battle lines drawn for a chance to score a revenge and pillage a few lesbians.
An honest and decent contention was made in the attack and defence of both teams; who both ran 3/5/2 to open the play - but the outcome of this was that the Macaron (/u/'s ball) remained squarely in the /his/ defensive half. A foul at the 13th minute committed by the Russian Baltic Fleet gave /u/ a threatening chance to score, but the Maginot line saved competantly. The order of attack down the /his/ line was, in much the same way as th fleet itself, also similarly mired in communication issues - /his/ could not manage to crack the /u/ seige. Matters were complicated further when Bomber Harris reaped the proverbial whirlwind a bit too hard - he recieved a yellow card for a personal foul on Friending. He left the field amid howls of frustration from the /his/ 4CC discord and fans. Moments later, the Maginot Line was subject to attack from Feito-chan, which it rebuked - but barely a few seconds had passed before Feito-chan scored a goal from a very thin angle to the Line's right-hand side.
The response to aggress was instant; with Gen. Ivanovich observing that there was too much danger to allowing /u/ unmitigated access to their half. /his/ had not offered a single strike on goal.
- "Their [/his/'s] offence can't get it very far, like - they get to the midfield, and then they get the ball stolen almost immediately."
- --Doyes
- --Doyes
- "Their [/his/'s] offence can't get it very far, like - they get to the midfield, and then they get the ball stolen almost immediately."
From here until the end of the first half ran a more contested state of play, albiet not one without substantial note from the commentary box that /u/ were contesting it all too well. >Holy>Roman>Empire attempted to put /his/ on the board with a shot in the 45th - but it was lackluster, and largely muffled by /u/ defender Black Sunshine to the point where PES did not even consider it a shot on goal. The stats told the story: /u/ had managed 4 shots, all on target at that juncture, versus /his/'s zero - all the while maintaining a two-point deficit on possession (/u/ 48%-52% /his/).
At the start of the second half, a sneak attack yielded an opportunity for Bismarck, but he was cleared confidently by /u/ defenders. The resulting momentum was sharply reverted as the ball was cleared to Purest Form of Love at the halfway mark, who utterly annihilated three /his/ defenders, making a last-second cross to Akkarin. The /u/ striker took another incredibly sharp-angled goal past the Maginot line to take the score to 2-0.
- "I mean, I do question /his/ putting what is essentially a meme in the goal - *stifles laughter* - it's like, 'hey, what'd be a good player to represent our goalkeeper? The maginot line! Brilliant."
- --Paval, not quite getting the joke
- --Paval, not quite getting the joke
- "I mean, I do question /his/ putting what is essentially a meme in the goal - *stifles laughter* - it's like, 'hey, what'd be a good player to represent our goalkeeper? The maginot line! Brilliant."
A preset change later to a defensive-oriented aspect left many scratching their heads. Gen. Ivanovich later admitted it was designed to lure /u/ into a false sense of security, an act that was swiftly justified. A long ball from near /his/' goal box from Diogenes found its way to >Holy>Roman>Empire, who promptly dazzled an attacker and crossed into Charles II in the centre - and oh lord, his most gracious majesty would not disappoint. In a summary of what this team really fucking means, he leapt into the air above and ahead of no less than four /u/ defenders and delivered an explosive bicycle kick from well beyond the box; rocketing the coveted Macaron into the back of the net at a blinding pace that not even the well-experienced /u/ goalkeeper Madokami could match. It was /his/' first goal scored for the cup.
- ...Incredible. I am completely at a loss for words.
- --Doyes
- --Doyes
- ...Incredible. I am completely at a loss for words.
- Spectacular... what an absolutely ludicrious cross.
- --Paval
- --Paval
- Spectacular... what an absolutely ludicrious cross.
- If you thought /his/ was buried, you're dead wrong.
- --MBa
- --MBa
- If you thought /his/ was buried, you're dead wrong.
Suffice it to say that after that point, the commentary box was substantially less critical of the /his/ attack.
Subs were introduced at 65:00, with African Paratrooper and Caesar taking the field to replace Napoleon and Anne Frank respectively. Elsewhere, energy and fitness ran high, and /his/ was considerably more aggressive and dangerous as they moved into the last quarter.
A threatening corner from /u/, to briefly switch the flow, led to a series of repelled attacks; only one of which reached the Maginot line and was deflected. Tension and nerves ran high on the /u/ side of things, and Feito-chan was booked for a foul on Caesar in the 75th - an offence that would remove her from play from the next game (it being her second in two games). The opportunity was there. But no amount of /his/ attack could finish the job, and under immense pressure, /u/ refused to break despite a blooter from Charles that scraped the left goalpost. In the end, a strategic retreat was ordered. /his/ had taken their best and given a few moments of magic, and possession remained competitive at 50% each, but /u/ proved far more competent, and the match ended in their favour 2-1. /u/ would later go on to forge a hard-earned finals victory to claim their first star; and in this way it is worth pointing out that the relatively new /his/ could keep their head held high, even in loss that threatened to relegate them.
Match Log
Recent & Upcoming Official Matches
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers | Video |
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| TBD | TBD |  2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup
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TBD |
Previous Official Matches
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers | Video |
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| April 15, 2016 |  /v/
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 2016 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group B
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4-1 W | >Holy>Roman>Empire  45+1', 56', 73'Bismarck 64'
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| April 16, 2016 |  /co/
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2016 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group B
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4-1 W | >Holy>Roman>Empire 17', 66' Bismarck 33'Vlad the Implier 36'
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| April 17, 2016 |  /toy/
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2016 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group B
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1-3 L | >Holy>Roman>Empire 64'
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| May 6, 2016 |  /lit/
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 2016 Spring Babby Cup - Group C
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5-6 L | >Holy>Roman>Empire 44', 45', 49', 54', 73'
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| May 8, 2016 |  /o/
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2016 Spring Babby Cup - Group C
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0-1 L | ||
| May 14, 2016 |  /cm/
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2016 Spring Babby Cup - Group C
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3-2 W | Bismarck 30' >Holy>Roman>Empire 43', 66'
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| October 29, 2016 |  /p/
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 2016 Autumn Babby Cup - Group H
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4-5 L | >Holy>Roman>Empire 8', 31' Napoleon 73'Bismarck 90+4'
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| November 4, 2016 |  /int/
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2016 Autumn Babby Cup - Group H
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1-1 D | >Holy>Roman>Empire 68'
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| November 6, 2016 |  /wg/
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2016 Autumn Babby Cup - Group H
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0-3 L | ||
| April 28, 2017 |  /lgbt/
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 2017 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group A
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3-2 W | Bismarck 21', 30' >Holy >Roman >Empire 68'
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| April 29, 2017 |  /wsg/
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2017 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group A
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3-0 W | 13', 76' >Holy >Roman >Empire 89' Napoleon
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| April 30, 2017 |  /tg/
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2017 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group A
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1-1 D | >Holy >Roman >Empire 89'
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| May 12, 2017 |  /mlp/
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 2017 Spring Babby Cup - Group B
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2-1 W | 12', 71' >Holy>Roman>Empire
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Video |
| May 14, 2017 |  /sci/
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2017 Spring Babby Cup - Group B
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4-3 W | Vlad The Implier 5' >Holy>Roman>Empire 45+0' Bismarck 74', 90+5'
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Video |
| May 20, 2017 |  /n/
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2017 Spring Babby Cup - Group B
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2-3 L | 87' Bomber Harris 90+6' Anarcho-Memeism
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Video |
| May 27, 2017 | /tg/
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2017 Spring Babby Cup - Knockouts
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0-2 L | Video | |
| July 28, 2017 |  /s4s/
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 2017 4chan Summer Cup - Group C
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3-2 W | 7', 29' Bismarck 22' >Holy>Roman>Empire
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Video |
| July 30, 2017 | /wg/
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2017 4chan Summer Cup - Group C
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1-2 L | 69' >Holy>Roman>Empire
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Video |
| August 5, 2017 |  /asp/
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2017 4chan Summer Cup - Group C
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2-0 W | 42' Bomber Harris 52' >Holy>Roman>Empire
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Video |
| August 12, 2017 |  /u/
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2017 4chan Summer Cup - Knockouts
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2-3 L | 8' >Holy>Roman>Empire 90+2' Bomber Harris
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Video |
| 17 February, 2018 |  /fit/
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 2018 4chan Winter Cup - Group G
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1-0 W | Read the Fucking Sticky  36'
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Video |
| 23 February, 2018 | /u/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup - Group G
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1-2 L | Charles II 59'
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Video |
| 25 February, 2018 | /mlp/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup - Group G
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0-2 L | Video |
Unofficial Matches
| Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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| January 30, 2016 |  /trash/
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2016 Winter Cup Unfriendlies | 2-3 L | Rasputin's Dick 21' Bismarck 43'
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| January 7, 2017 |  /vg/
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2017 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 1-3 L | Bismarck 30'
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| May 6, 2017 |  /block/
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DrBorisG Challenge | 4-5 L | |
| January 19, 2018 |  /pol/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 1-3 L | 88' Bismarck
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| January 20, 2018 | /vg/
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2018 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 2-5 L | Charles II 54', 63'
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Team Statistics
Italics denote retired players
Goalscorers
| Player | Goals | Assists |
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| >Holy>Roman>Empire | 28 | 4 |
| Bismarck | 11 | 8 |
| Napoleon | 4 | 7 |
| Vlad the Implier | 2 | 3 |
| Mongolian Horse Archer | 0 | 2 |
| Bomber Harris | 3 | 3 |
| Lutheran Shitposter | 0 | 1 |
| Charlemagne | 0 | 1 |
| Charles II | 1 | 0 |
| Shitposting Cossack | 1 | 0 |
| Anarco-Memeism | 1 | 0 |
| Empire for Sale | 0 | 1 |
| >Marxism | 0 | 1 |
| Eternal Anglo | 0 | 1 |
| Carl von Clausewitz | 0 | 1 |
Goalkeepers
| Player | Starts | Saves | Clean Sheets |
|---|---|---|---|
| Maginot Line | 3 | 12 | 1 |
| Great Wall of China | 7 | 14 | 0 |
| Julius Caesar | 3 | 5 | 0 |
| Christian Dark Ages | 10 | 23 | 3 |
Records
| Holder | Date | Record | Match |
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 /his/ (Tied)
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May 6, 2016 | Most goals scored in a single match for the losing team with 5. | /his/ 5 - 6 /lit/
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| >Holy>Roman>Empire | May 6, 2016 | Fastest brace, scoring in 44' and 45' (1 minute). | /his/ 5 - 6 /lit/
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| >Holy>Roman>Empire | May 6, 2016 | Fastest hattrick, scoring in 44', 45', and 49' (5 minutes). | /his/ 5 - 6 /lit/
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| >Holy>Roman>Empire | May 6, 2016 | Fastest double brace, scoring in 44', 45', 49', and 54' (10 minutes). | /his/ 5 - 6 /lit/
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| /his/
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July 28, 2017 | Most free kicks awarded to a single team with 10. | /s4s/ 2 - 3 /his/
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Rivalries
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| The Spooker Bowl
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| 0-0-1 |
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| The Edgelord Derby Most people got tired of /pol/'s right-wing shitposting. Based Hiro heard our call and created /his/, where in a (mostly) civil matter, anons discuss history and the humanities. The edgelords of /pol/ are now contained in their conspiratard safe space, free to jerk off to Donald Trump and other wingnuts. What cucks. Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. |
| 0-0-0 |
Team photos
Summer 2017 squad
Gallery
- "Alright, consider me convinced. /his/ is actually a good team."
- — DrBorisG, 2016 Spring Qualifiers
- — DrBorisG, 2016 Spring Qualifiers
L'capitan dribbling up the pitch
Born to feel
>Propoganda following the /his/ vs. /lit/ match
Julius Caesar contemplating his life choices.
Anarco-Memeism scores during the /n/ match.
Napoleon gets bumped by a lesbian sweet
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