/aog/ Roster

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Starter

Silver

Gold

Goalkeepers

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
6	*BLOCKS IT*	GK		When your co-attorney saves your life from death. Thank you Holmes.
10	THE WALL	GK		Power Anal Lana (PAL), Valant Gramarye, Gant *rips evidence*, Maya Fey; all these infamous walls have tortured DA's. When you're 12 contradictions in and the witness still isn't breaking down, you know you found THE WALL.
5	Gloves	GK		So your defendant has their prints all over the murder weapon; then how did the witness kill him? Why, gloves of course! Edible gloves, fingerless gloves, makeshift gloves made of ripped clothing, goalkeeper gloves, whatever works!

IN PROGRESS

No.	Name	Position	Picture	Description
88	Do you think im imcompetent?			Yes.
3	TIMELINES			HOLD IT! Witness, what time is it when you witnessed the murder? "I-I was in shock! I didn't check." Ok. What time did you get to the scene of the crime? When did you call the police? When did you brush your teeth that morning of the murder? What year was it when you killed the victim? When did you decide to commit the crime? What time did you frame my defendant? When will the trial end? When am I getting a contradiction from timelines? All of this in a timeline, please.
32	32 Non-Lethal Stab Wounds			I mean, it was only on the feet.
33	IT'S ME, AUSTIN			Starting your first testimony as witness with the title "IT'S ME AUSTIN"... Nah, innocent. YOU ALL BOUGHT IT. HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.
8	OPEN and SHUT			A phrase used by the prosecution whenever possible, showing how open and shut the case against the defendant is. Often done by all three prosecutors in synchronized fashion during their opening statement, especially the unstoppable Payne Train as pictured.
18	I have a theory			When you hear this phrase, prepare for the ride of your life either ending in disaster, or poorly constructed bullshit that sounds nice and earns a victory.
0	JUST A PRANK, BRO			HAHA, THIS WHOLE MURDER WAS JUST A PRANK! GOTCHA, BRO!
2	Great job, Payne			Great job, Payne.
14	>Sequel Cases			>implying sequels to finished cases ever work Don't even mention all those Lesbian Sex Party cases, they're all shit.
19	Circlecliquejerk Conspiracy			The resident boogeyman of /aog/. THE NAMEFAGS ARE ALL OUT TO GET US, MAN!
11	Ear Elephant			Nice "theory"... But that's simply... IRRELEVANT.
6	Verdict pls			The Verdictfag prosecution's hungry plea to the Judge after the very first witness. Sometimes stated by the defense after only finding one contradiction.
4	Bantz			If you can't handle the bantz, then you probably have no chance.
12	Blue Ruby			An exceedingly rare jewel found by a detective at a crime scene in one case. When asked about the jewel, the detective insisted that it was a ruby with a blue hue, and has since been found in many other cases as meme evidence.
1	BURGER GREASE
7	WE GIVE UP			Sometimes the case is too hard. The prosecution is overbearing, the witness is a wall, the Judge is biased towards the prosecution, too much evidence against your defendant, you suck shit at finding contradictions... Sometimes it's good to just admit defeat and say "WE GIVE UP", just like in my Ace Attorney games.
2	THAT CARD			"WAIT A MINUTE" Meme evidence that has confused attorneys in all sorts of cases. No one knows the true purpose of that card. A true wildcard on the field.
42	WE ARE LAWYER			A famous case called "The Turnabout", that started simply where Larry Butz tried to prank Satan ending in murder. Then the court ends up actually summoning Satan herself in Hell, God revealing himself to be Larry in Heaven, and ends with Apollo cross-examining God in Limbo and realizing WE ARE LAWYER, WE SHOULD CHOOSE OUR PATH FOR OURSELVES TO FIND THE TRUTH, FREE OF ANY BEINGS ABOVE US
5	>Greg			The man, the myth, the meme. Legendary autist known to inflict the curse of massive stupidity as well as a desire to ask bizarre questions and create even more bizarre theories on all who play as him. The man exists on a level beyond mortal comprehension, and can not be figured out. As the true Ace Attorney, Gregory Edgeworth will do his best to tip his fedora and the ball into the goal with some asspulls to assist. Although >implying the curse won't continue and Greg won't choke in the end
39	Asspulls			[Presents Asspull] Necessary for any lawyer, asspulls are the lifeblood of /aog/, turning cases from shit to great, and vice versa. The power of the asspull is immense and can win a case with your back against THE WALL, or can open and shut your case. Asspull wisely.