/s4s/
[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s] was, as a board, originally thought to be an April Fools' joke. However, it was made a permanent fixture on the site by Moot, and is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team itself has also challenged these labels, both on and off the divegrass pitch.
The team's history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the Cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s] is currently doing pretty well for themselves in the 2021 World Cup after being lost for a while in the cup :^).
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Roster
See also:
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Team Photos
The first [s4s] team photo, for the 2014 4chan Summer Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2017 4chan Winter Cup.
The [s4s] team photo for the 2019 4chan Summer Cup.
Team History
For earlier history: /s4s/ history
2019 4chan Autumn babby Cup
With [s4s] FC on autopilot and seeking new management, the team was drawn into a group of /wsg/, /b/, and /bant/. The PES gods decided that this rude group would almost rudepost [s4s] to the edge of taking home the wooden spoon, but thanks to a draw of 3-3 against /bant/, the spoon was avoided. [s4s] ended the cup with 1 point, 2 losses and a draw. Without a manager it was not looking bright for the nice and kek loving fans of essfores. Only Swaglord knows what the future will hold for this ebin team.
2021 World Cup
[s4s] went into 2021 with new management, and feeling very fresh. Unfortunately, their first match against /cgl/ made their outlook for the future look very grim. After forgetting their tactical export for the first match, they lost a very boring 0-1 to the autopilot seagulls /cgl/ who made 5 saves against the likes of Bateman and Keksandra; not very nice. Their next match however was against the favorites to win the goup to many, the giant robots of /m/. A change of tactics was made to run a 3-4-3 after a very bad 4-3-3 did not work, and in the last 10 minutes of the match, Bateman tied it up to end in a draw 2-2 against the robots. This was a much better look for them, but they still had to go against the perverts of /h/ for a chance to make it out of groups. Sticking to the formation change, Bateman and Keksandra ran over the defense of /h/, winning 4-1, a blessing putting them in a very good position to advance. The following match of the group was a close tie 2-2 between /m/ and /cgl/, putting [s4s] ahead on Goal Differential of the seagulls.
Match History
Match Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Goal Scorers | |
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July 12, 2013 | 3-1 L |
Shrek 86' | |||
July 20, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Quads 22' | |||
September 21, 2013 | 2-0 L | ||||
October 5, 2013 | 1-0 W |
Shrek 36' | |||
October 25, 2013 | 4-2 W |
Shrek 13', 40' | |||
October 26, 2013 | 3-0 W |
Patrick Bateman 50' | |||
October 27, 2013 | 2-1 W |
Shrek 70', 77' | |||
October 27, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek 65' | |||
November 16, 2013 | 2-1 L |
Shrek 34' | |||
November 22, 2013 | 1-1 D |
Shrek 65' | |||
November 24, 2013 | 4-4 D |
Shrek 18', 37', 52', 65' | |||
January 11, 2014 | 1-0 L | ||||
January 19, 2014 | 1-1 D |
Shrek 56' | |||
April 6, 2014 | 2-1 L |
[s4s]-Tan 90+' | |||
April 11, 2014 | 3-3 D |
Patrick Bateman 16', 71' | |||
April 13, 2014 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 42' | |||
April 19, 2014 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 13', 70' | |||
April 26, 2014 | 5-0 L | ||||
May 31, 2014 | 2-1 L | Patrick Bateman 33' | |||
June 7, 2014 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 34', 39' | |||
July 19, 2014 | 4-2 W | Cory Baxter 16', 37' Patrick Bateman 33' [s4s]-Tan 82' | |||
July 26, 2014 | 2-2 D |
Cory Baxter 42' | |||
July 27, 2014 | 2-1 L |
Topkek 73' | |||
July 27, 2014 | 1(6)-1(5) L |
[s4s]-Tan 81' | |||
February 14, 2015 | 3-0 W |
Topkek 8', 76' | |||
February 20, 2015 | 5-0 W |
Dubs 41' | |||
February 22, 2015 | 1-1 D |
[s4s]-Tan 3' | |||
February 28, 2015 | 3-0 W |
D A N K M E M E S 13', 69' | |||
March 1, 2015 | 3-2 L |
Patrick Bateman 15' | |||
July 31, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 65' | |||
August 2, 2015 | 4-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 4', 74', 83' Patrick Bateman 34' | |||
August 8, 2015 | 4-3 L | Patrick Bateman 13', 44', 70' | |||
October 24, 2015 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 34' | |||
October 30, 2015 | 3-1 L | Patrick Bateman 71' | |||
November 1, 2015 | 4-3 W | Patrick Bateman 4', 90+' [s4s]-Tan 30' Ebin 42' | |||
November 8, 2015 | 2-1 W | [s4s]-Tan 18' Patrick Bateman 87' | |||
November 14, 2015 | 4-3 W (a.e.t.) | Patrick Bateman 31', 78' Topkek 40' Snek Court 111' | |||
November 15, 2015 | 2-0 L | ||||
February 20, 2016 | 4-0 W | Patrick Bateman 7', 73', 85' [s4s]-Tan 29' | |||
February 26, 2015 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 25' | |||
February 28, 2016 | 4-0 L | ||||
March 5, 2016 | 2(4)-2(3) W | Nice Grill 41' Patrick Bateman 59' | |||
March 6, 2016 | 3-2 L | Topkek 14' Patrick Bateman 45+3' | |||
August 6, 2016 | 2-2 D | Topkek 38' Patrick Bateman 61' | |||
August 12, 2016 | 2-1 W | Topkek 35' Patrick Bateman 42' | |||
August 14, 2016 | 2-1 W | Patrick Bateman 30' Nice Grill 53' | |||
August 20, 2016 | 3-0 L | ||||
February 11, 2017 | 3-1 W | Topkek 21' Patrick Bateman 53', 80' | |||
February 17, 2017 | 1-0 L | ||||
February 19, 2017 | 2-1 W | Topkek 38', 43' | |||
February 25, 2017 | 5-2 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0', 58' | |||
July 28, 2017 | 3-2 L | Patrick Bateman 18' Keksandra 90+2' | |||
July 30, 2017 | 3-3 D | Patrick Bateman 48', 90+0' Keksandra 7' | |||
August 5, 2017 | 1-2 L | Keksandra 90+2' | |||
October 27, 2017 | 1-3 L | Patrick Bateman 45+0' | |||
October 29, 2017 | 1-2 W | Patrick Bateman 21', 90+0' | |||
October 29, 2017 | 2-1 W | TOPKEK 15', 59' | |||
May 4,2018 | 2-0 W | Patrick Bateman 23' Slut Sanae 30' | |||
May 6,2018 | 1-2 L | Patrick Bateman 19' | |||
May 11,2018 | 2-3 L | Patrick Bateman 41' Keksandra 87' | |||
May 14, 2018 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 8', 53' Keksandra 90+2' | |||
October 26, 2018 | 2-0 W | Topkek 51' Patrick Bateman 69' (pen.) | |||
October 28, 2018 | 3-1 W | Nice Grill 13' Topkek 33' Patrick Bateman 52' | |||
November 3, 2018 | 5-1 W | Nice Grill 10' Keksandra 45+4', 90+7' Topkek 49' Flowre 85' | |||
November 10, 2018 | 1(4)-1(3) L | Patrick Bateman 59' | |||
February 16, 2018 | 5-2 W | Topkek 11', 28' Patrick Bateman 52', 87' Keksandra 66' | |||
February 22, 2019 | 5-2 L | Keksandra 18' Patrick Bateman 81' | |||
February 24, 2019 | 7-3 W | Topkek 6', 37' Patrick Bateman 58' Keksandra 50', 62', 61', 77' | |||
March 2, 2019 | 5-4 W (a.e.t.) | Patrick Bateman 22', 41', 51' Topkek 105+2', 117' | |||
March 3, 2019 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 47' Keksandra 68' Topkek 88' | |||
March 3, 2019 | 1-2 L (a.e.t.) | Topkek 38' | |||
March 3, 2019 | 4-3 W | Keksandra 13', 18' Patrick Bateman 83' Nice Grill 90+1' | |||
July 20, 2019 | 0-1 L | ||||
July 26, 2019 | 0-4 L | ||||
July 28, 2019 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 22' | |||
October 25, 2019 | 1-5 L | Keksandra 43' | |||
October 27, 2019 | 0-1 L | ||||
November 2, 2019 | 3-3 D | Keksandra 51', 90+3' Patrick Bateman 67' | |||
April 11, 2020 | 3-1 W | Nice Grill 38' Patrick Bateman 73', 83' | |||
April 11, 2020 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 18' | |||
April 12, 2020 | 2-2 D | ses 17' Patrick Bateman 66' | |||
April 24, 2020 | 1-0 W | Patrick Bateman 6' | |||
April 26, 2020 | 3-1 W | Patrick Bateman 18' Patrick Bateman 29' Keksandra 48' | |||
May 2, 2020 | 7-3 W | Patrick Bateman 14', 61' Keksandra 64', 68', 74' Nice Grill 45+3' Flowre 85' | |||
May 9, 2020 | 4-1 W | ses 18' Flowre 52' Keksandra 66' Patrick Bateman 72' | |||
May 10, 2020 | 2-0 L | ||||
July 17, 2020 | 4-3 L | Keksandra 18, 71, 90+3' | |||
July 19, 2020 | 1-1 D | Patrick Bateman 37' | |||
July 25, 2020 | 2-1 L | Keksandra 75' | |||
October 23 2020 | 3-2 L | Keksandra 20' Topkek 48' | |||
October 25, 2020 | 3-2 L | Keksandra 8,48' | |||
October 31 2020 | 2-1 L | Keksandra 33' |
Tournament History
Competition | Win | Draw | Loss | End result | Notes |
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All friendlies | 3 | 1 | 4 | >friendliest team >lose most of your friendlies | |
2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers | 3 | 1 | 0 | 1st - Qualified | >""""winning"""" a fetus |
2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 0 | 2 | 1 | 25th - Relegated | >almost losing to autopilot /cgl/ >letting it slip against /r9k/ |
2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 2 | 1 | 2 | 16th - Promoted | >getting blown the fuck out by OaB /ic/ |
2014 4chan Summer Cup | 1 | 1 | 2 | 10th - Held Promotion | First Elite Cup; The Cup of Cory |
2015 4chan Winter Cup | 3 | 1 | 1 | 5th - Held Promotion | Almost made it to the semifinals. Fucking /tg/. |
2015 4chan Summer Cup | 1 | 1 | 1 | 17th - Relegated | |
2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 4 | 0 | 2 | 5th - Promoted | >SACKING THE MANAGER FOR FINISHING 5TH |
2016 4chan Winter Cup | 2 | 1 | 2 | 7th - Held Promotion | >lost 3-2 in the quarterfinals again |
2016 4chan Summer Cup | 2 | 1 | 1 | 15th - Held Promotion | Killed in the Ro16 by /adv/. |
2017 4chan Winter Cup | 2 | 0 | 2 | 15th - Held Promotion | THAT. FUCKING. KAT. |
2017 4chan Summer Cup | 0 | 1 | 2 | 28th - Relegated | The Dark Era begins. |
2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2 | 0 | 1 | 17th - Failed to Promote | The first of two 6-Point Hells. |
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 2 | 0 | 1 | 19th - Failed to Promote | YOU GOT BEAT BY /T/. The second of the aforementioned Hells. |
2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 3 | 0 | 1 | 11th - Promoted | Freed from Hell, Lost in the Ro16 (again) thanks to Patrick "Flowre" Bateman. Nice dubs though. |
2019 4chan Winter Cup | 4 | 0 | 2 | 3rd Place - Held Promotion | WON THE THIRD PLACE TROPHY. |
2019 4chan Summer Cup | 0 | 1 | 2 | 29th Place - Relegated | Third Place curse strikes |
2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 0 | 1 | 2 | 30th Place - Failed to Promote | rude autopilot |
2020 4chan Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers | 1 | 2 | 0 | 2nd Place - Qualified | Escaped the uterus |
Statistics and Honors
Player Statistics
Note: players in italics are no longer active.
Player | Goals |
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Patrick Bateman | 76 |
Keksandra | 38 |
Topkek | 26 |
Shrek | 17 |
Nice Grill | 8 |
Flowre | 3 |
Cory Baxter | 3 |
D A N K M E M E S | 2 |
ses | 2 |
Ebin | 1 |
Snek Court | 1 |
Player | Assists |
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Topkek | 21 |
Patrick Bateman | 18 |
Keksandra | 12 |
Nice Grill | 11 |
Ebin | 9 |
D A N K M E M E S | 5 |
:^) | 4 |
Shrek | 4 |
Snek Court | 3 |
Jack Ruselel | 2 |
Ses | 2 |
Ass | 1 |
Bury Smolhead | 1 |
Cowe | 1 |
Yosho | 1 |
Youd Be Surprise | 1 |
Awoo~ | 1 |
Cory Baxter | 1 |
Me On The Left | 1 |
Ojamajo Doremi | 1 |
Shiggi Donatello | 1 |
Yee | 1 |
zrg | 1 |
Player | Saves |
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Walruse | 50 |
#fortune | 29 |
Doge | 28 |
Kogasa | 27 |
Swaglord | 20 |
Youd Be Suprise | 8 |
Le Purple Palmtree Man | 5 |
My OC | 4 |
Slowpoke | 3 |
Donut Man | 2 |
Individual Honors
2013 Autumn Fetus
Golden Boot:
Shrek, 7 goals2013 Autumn Fetus
Joint Golden Ball:
Patrick Bateman, 5 assists2014 Summer Cup
Goal of the Tournament:
Cory Baxter, vs. /pol/2015 Winter Cup
Joint Golden Ball:
Ebin, Nice Grill2015 Winter Cup
Player of the Tournament:
Patrick Bateman2019 Winter Cup
Joint Best Player2019 Winter Cup
Goal of the Tournament
Nice Grill
Team Honors
2015 Winter Cup
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /tg/2015 Winter Cup
Best Matches
2015 Summer Cup
Match of the Tournament
/gd/ - [s4s]2015 4chan Autumn Babby
Match of the Tournament
[s4s] - /sp/2019 Winter Cup
3rd Place
Rivalries
You'd think the nicest team in the 4chan Cup wouldn't have rivalries, but youd be suprise :^)
Board Rivalries
Sh*tpost Bowl: /s4s/ v. /b/
Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s]. 1W - 0D - 0L
Dumb Frogposting Bowl: /s4s/ v. /r9k/
Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they were, at one point, the only boards on 4chan's header board list that resided in brackets by themselves. This rivalry sat at 2 draws up until Autumn 2017, when [s4s] pulled ahead with a win, being the only team to beat /r9k/ that entire cup. 1W - 2D - 0L
Meta Rivalries
THE ETERNAL RIVALRY IS GETTING BETTER: /s4s/ v. /gd/
Thanks to a 3-1 win in the 2020 4chan Spring Babby Cup, [s4s] finally got their first win against the grpahics dudes and THAT FUCKING CAT Let's hope it will soon go our way :^^). 1W - 0D - 4L
Checkb Owl: /s4s/ v. /lgbt/
In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies. 0W - 1D - 1L
Friendshipb Owl aka Together Forever, Jr.: /s4s/ v. /mlp/
Fitting to the rivalry's name, their first face-off ended in the friendliest of results, a 1-1 draw in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup that saw both teams continue through to the knockout stages. Their second, however, was slightly less amicable, as Dubs FC pulled ahead with a 3-1 victory in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. Despite this, both teams again advanced. >rape and the rest of the pastel ponies grabbed their first win of the rivalry in the third matchup, with a 5-2 win in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup. Yet again, both [s4s] and /mlp/ qualified for the knockout rounds. The rivalry currently stands with [s4s] in the lead after the 2020 4chan Spring Babby Cup which failed to see /mlp/ promote. 2W - 1D - 1L
Gallery
The [s4s]-/x/ match from Winter 2015 summed up in one image.
Keksandra rusing /adv/ defender s/adv/irgin after he allows an 87th minute Patrick Bateman goal.
[s4s]'s Summer 2017 medals enjoying a photo op en route to their first match.
Keksandra embracing the Third Place Trophy™ she and the rest of Dubs FC claimed after the 2019 Winter Cup.
[s4s] celebrating Nice Grill's 90+2 goal to tie their Round of 32 match 3-3 vs /vst/ during the 2021 4chan World Cup.
Quotes
- "But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
On his favorite team in the cup :^)
- "IT CAN'T BE, IT FUCKING CAN'T BE! OH MY GOD, IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
After Patrick Bateman scored the final of five [s4s] goals against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup.
- "BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
- — Old Man Sou
- — Old Man Sou
After Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.
- "Ninety plus four, Ses on a corner kick, here we go!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "Seeeess..."
- — Jack
- — Jack
- "Here comes that pause abuse, he already got one assist on it--"
- — Kekkels
- — Kekkels
- "Nah, not unless, n--OH, OH YEAH, MAYBE, OKAY! NICE GRILL, NICE GAME! Nice Grill on the Squat Toilet! I got nothin' for this."
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "Well, I think we know what Goal of the Tournament is going to be."
- — Blinky
- — Blinky
The commentary booth's reaction to Nice Grill's improbable last-gasp volley against to win the 2019 4chan Winter Cup Third Place Match against /vg/.
- "Oh no, not ASS, if this ends with ASS... IT DOES, ASS WINS THE GAME FOR [s4s]!"
- — DrBorisG
- — DrBorisG
- "ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"
- — Ken Ashcorp
- — Ken Ashcorp
Bors and Ken on the thrilling end to one of the best penalty shootouts from the 2021 World Cup
Trivia
- In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
- There have been three times that one [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15, and Keksandra against /sp/ in Winter '19. Despite this, not every match was an [s4s] victory: Shrek's double brace was not enough to take all 3 points, as a ROBOT9001 hat trick meant the game ended 4-all.
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