/sg/

/sg/
ALLAH SOURIA BASHAR OU BAS
/sg/ - Syria General
Founded September 28th 1961 Manager Qasem "The Shadow Commader" Soleimani Owner Assad Bakeries & Co. IRL manager Rabbi Shlomo !!i3uxIMqTCIK Team colors HEX color CE1126 Ba'athist Blood-Red Top scorer The Fabulous Tiger (9) Top assister The Druze Beast (3) Captain Assad Wins Again Website /sg/ - Syria General Nickname Arab Secularists
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 5 2 5 12 41.67%
GF GA GD 20 15 +5
Biggest win /ptg/  1–4  /sg/ 7 January, 2018 Biggest defeat /nsg/  2–1  /sg/ 22 September, 2018 First match /sg/  2–1  /eire/ 8 July, 2017
/pol/eague Appearances 3 (First in /pol/eague 1) Best result Champions, /pol/eague 2
Team music
Anthem Good Morning Syria Victory Anthem Ali Madad, Ali Bakarat Assad Wins Again MOTM victory anthem Syrian national anthem Russian Liberator MOTM victory anthem Katyusha - Red army choir Goal horn Syrian circulation Assad Wins Again horn Ya Bashar Russian Liberator horn Russian national anthem The Fabulous Tiger horn Eye of the Tiger
Kits

Syria General - /sg/ is the /pol/ General that follows the Syrian war against terrorism, as well as all the conflicts taking place all around the world. Syria General sees the bigger picture behind all this: the global geopolitical struggle of the the USA and the Russia-led anti-western axis, be it in Iraq, Yemen, Ukraine, Lybia or Afghanistan. Also, we talk about Arab grammar, Levantine cuties and Mediterranean breakfasts.

With the based Syrian Arab Army retaking their country village by village, /sg/ is hoping to make some GAINZ in the world of divegrass too.

Team

No. Position Player   GK The Druze Beast   CB >the former Caliphate of ISIS   CB (((White Helmets)))   CB Bus Driver Maduro   DMF SAAnime   CMF Barrel Bomb   LMF Khat-chewing Tochka Houthis   RMF The Fabulous Tiger   AMF Russian Liberator   SS Assad Wins Again   CF MAD GAINZ

No. Position Player   GK Syrian Air Defence   CB Erdogan's Redemption Arc   CB Last Hospital   CB >Ukrainian """""Military"""""   CB Jihadi Julian   CB The Eternal K*rdoid   DMF CHADliban   DMF Miss me yet?   LMF Memestrike   LMF Death to America   RMF Idlib Express   RMF Eagles of Whirlwind

Sub

Starter

Bronze

Silver

Gold

Goalkeepers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
GK	The Druze Beast		The late Issam Zahreddine, the legendary defender and martyr of Deir-ez-Eor and all-round alpha-male Druze beast. Ate ISIS jihadis for breakfast and feasted upon ruined Coalition dreams of partition as they failed to occupy DeZ thanks to the efforts of Issam and his Republican Guards. Through divegrass we keep this legend's memory alive.
GK	Syrian Air Defence		Nice airstrike there IAF, really pushed the Iranians out of Syria, was blowing up another parking lot part of your plan?

Defenders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
CB	>the former Caliphate of ISIS		What kind of Caliphate do you want fam? "فقط يمارس الجنس معي"
CB	(((White Helmets)))		False flagging every gas attack, coming to a moderate rebel city near you
CB	Bus Driver Maduro		The rightful legitimate leader of Venezuela, CHADuro continues to defeat the virgin Guaido and his incompetent coup attempts. No glownigger or Neo-Con is safe from getting run over by this bus driver.
CB	Erdogan's Redemption Arc		The Watermelon-selling Emperor of Roachistan is ready, after crashing the Lira with no survivors, to become part of the Axis of Resistance. Hell-bent on recreating the Ottoman Empire and to strike fear in the Wh*teoid M*tt menace, his diplomatic schizophrenia, complete lack of knowledge in economics, and personal moderate jihadists© are however making this task a lot harder. The question remains: Was allying with Russia after shooting down their jet your real plan all along?
CB	Last Hospital		No hospital can survive Assad's reign of barrel-bombing terror, but it appears one slipped through the net. During the Daraa campaign alone there was an average of 1 last hospital left every day, according to credible western and opposition sources - all bombed to smithereens by Assad from his private helicopter, along with the occasional bakery, school or kitten sanctuary.
CB	>Ukrainian """Military"""		A remnant from the good old days when /ug/ Ukraine General was still a thing. The Hohol (Ukrainian) army is notorious for being almost Arab-tier in terms of getting BTFO by miners, mechanics, a car-washing dwarf and a tall Abkhasian guy with a funny nickname (and maybe some Russian Liberator help). We have all seen plenty of videos showcasing the incompetence of the Hohol army both whilst fighting and whilst being away from the front line. Seeing as both Ukrainian and Syrian conflicts are geopolitically connected and are notorious for how shitty the forces of the participants are, we'd like to honor the general that is considered to be the daddy of /sg/.
CB	Jihadi Julian		Notorious German Liberal Islamist who works for the BILD propaganda magazine. Known for supporting the most ruthless Islamist factions in the Syrian civil war, including ISIS, whilst also being supportive of western liberal values, especially gay rights. It is our theory that Jihadi Julian has a personality disorder and that his blind hate for Russia and Assad makes him support all this salafi scum, seeing as he always goes out of his way to prove to everyone that all harm caused by non-Assad forces is accidental while Assad kills for pleasure (Don't try arguing with him though, he'll block you). /sg/ has a lot of fun trolling him with dank maymays and by registering his email on gay porn and islamist websites.
CB	The Eternal K*rdoid		They ruin demographics, they fuel conflicts. They are even worse than a Jew, they are - may Allah forgive me for uttering this word - a Kurd

Midfielders

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
DMF	SAAnime		To the joy of some, and to the disappointment of others in the general, /sg/ is filled with complete weebs. Megumin is always present whenever there is a need for explosions, showing close kinship with the SAA's (ab)use of barrel bombs while drooling over Russian and Iranian ICBM footage. Otherwise, big-breasted Hezbollah merchandise-wearing 2D girls occupy the thread, showing the beautiful alliance of the finest things oriental culture has to offer.
CMF	Assad Wins Again		Bashar al-Assad, the un-Mossaded one and rightful President of Syria. Everyone tries to get rid of him, everyone says 'Assad must go', yet he survives it all. Many a foreign leader has fallen to the Curse of Assad after they utter those wicked words and still he remains. A living testament for all that you can't Mossad the Assad.
LMF	Barrel Bomb		Slayer of hospitals (particularly children's), doctors clinics, bakeries and kitten and puppy farms. Assad's barrel bombs ALWAYS find their way to the most heart-wrenching and distressing target without fail.
RMF	CHADliban		Although crossed and scorned by Wahhabis and CIA spooks, they have gone rogue and remain the OGs in Jihad; can just take cities by walking into them, striked fear in the hearts of Commie Tankies and Capitalist Mutts for decades, still supported after decades of tyrannical Sharia oppression, so fucking Alpha that even Sh*ite Iran is now backing them, all of while looking whiter than M*ttoids. They are certainly the Chad Thundercock of Jihadism.
DMF	Death to America		Metahuman telekinesis, capability of bilocation, ability to disguise themselves as every Iranian-backed militia from Beirut to Sanaa, and somehow influencing every politician that's friendly with Iran all with superhuman abilities. Majoosi Shiite fire magic knows no boundaries to bring death to America and Israel by simultaneously leading the PMU's to victory in Iraq, magically transforming all Syrian soldiers into the IRGC, and personally possessing every Houthi to crush the Saudis with the black magic known as cutting supply lines. All of which by doing it in the middle of US sanctions and on the budget of 10 dollars.
DMF	Miss me yet?		This counts for all those ebil dictators the Neocons removed from power in their Israeli-advocated ZOG wars, such as Saddam, Gaddafi or Mohammad Najibullah. Now the nations they left behind lie in ruin and are being overrun by jihadi sand apes, which the USA either neglects or even sometimes arms in order to fight other jihadis. The people want them back, but would the US want them back too?
LMF	Memestrike		They always insist on it whenever they show up in /sg/: somehow, the latest 118 Tomahawk missiles are all part of 'muh 4-D chess' by Trump to somehow stick to his anti-intervention promises of the election campaign. Sadly, while /ptg/ remain the general of blind optimism, /sg/ is the general of realism where many have since lost the hope and optimism of November 9th 2016 marking a new era in geopolitics.
LMF	Khat-chewing Tochka Houthis		The legendary Houthi missile savants, guided by the medicinal properties of chewing khat, no Saudi fighter or overpriced Western military hardware is safe from the unparalleled missile skills of /ourguys/ in Yemen. Houthis will find and destroy you with their missiles and burn through your million dollar MRAPs, no matter how many proxies you hide behind.
RMF	Idlib Express		IDLIB SOON
RMF	Eagles of Whirlwind		The Syrian Social-Nationalist Party, whose goal is to establish a Greater Syrian nation, directly colludes with the Ba'athist party when it comes to their core ideology. Nonetheless, both share ideals of secularism, nationalism, and anti-imperialism, which explains their decision to fight on the side of the government rather than the moderate jihadists'. With one of the most aesthetic flags in the Middle East and a support base consisting in large part of college upper-class Syrian qt's, they are a force to be reckoned in the conflict.
AMF	Russian Liberator		Assad's guardian angel from Moscow. Just as it seemed that all hope was lost for Assad, a light appeared in the north in late 2015. The Russians scrambled to put an end to the US-backed Islamist menace by crushing the moderate headchoppers and ending ISIS with all their fancy new military toys along with tried and tested Soviet tech. Now the Ivans are helping the Syrians where they can, from food to BTFOing Hajjis while occasionally scoring levantine chicks. Truly the liberators Syria needed, as they fortunately managed to prevent the creation of another neocon/ZOG failed state.

Strikers

Pos.	Name	Picture	Description
SS	MAD GAINZ		The very fuel that keeps /sg/ going from day-to-day. There's nothing like an /sg/ bread when gainz are happening. Maybe it's a familiarity with map-painting games or just that we all have dangerously addictive personalities - gainz are the crack cocaine of /sg/ that keeps everyone hooked and coming back for more. Expect huge gainz on the pitch from now on as /sg/ joins the fray: your goal is not safe from our gainz.
CF	The Fabulous Tiger		Suheil al-Hassan, the fabulous, poetic and immaculately well-groomed commander of /sg/'s favourite living meme: the Tiger Forces. The Tiger has proven himself over several years as one of Syria's finest generals, the bane of ISIS and crusher of rebel dreams. There is no greater meme unit than the Tigers when it comes to destroying jihadis of the name of Assad nor any more reliable provider our gainz fix. He has stolen not only victory from the jaws of defeat on many a front, but the hearts of many a handsome young Levantine twink.

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
8 July 2017	/eire/	/pol/eague 1	2-1 W	4' Mad Gainz  55' Assad Wins Again
8 July 2017	/ptg/	/pol/eague 1	1-2 L	48' The Fabulous Tiger
9 July 2017	/britpol/	/pol/eague 1	1-1 D	75' The Fabulous Tiger
5 January 2018	/cg/	/pol/eague 2	1-2 L	8' The Fabulous Tiger
5 January 2018	/eire/	/pol/eague 2	3-1 W	14' Assad Wins Again  18' The Fabulous Tiger  43' The Shadow Commander
6 January 2018	/ancap/	/pol/eague 2	2-2 D	20'  33' Mad Gainz
7 January 2018	/ptg/	/pol/eague 2	4-1 W	9'  31'  37' The Fabulous Tiger  55' Barrel Bomb
7 January 2018	/britpol/	/pol/eague 2	3-0 W	31' Mad Gainz  66' Tochka Houthis  79' Russian Liberator
7 January 2018	/ancap/	/pol/eague 2	2-1 W	7' Mad Gainz  26' The Fabulous Tiger
21 September 2018	/fsg/	/pol/eague 3	0-1 L
21 September 2018	/balk/	/pol/eague 3	1-2 L	90+5' Mad Gainz
22 September 2018	/nsg/	/pol/eague 3	2-1 L	9' The Fabulous Tiger

Invitational Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
12 December 2017	/michigan/	Omegacup 2017	2-0 W	34' The Fabulous Tiger  87' Mad Gainz
13 December 2017	/soc/	Omegacup 2017	1-2 L	74' Hackerman

Rivalries

/ptg/ - The 118 Missiles Derby /sg/ used to be cautiously optimistic towards Trump, hoping he'll de-escalate the situation in the Middle East. Then Trump broke all his promises and launched 59 missiles at the Shayrat airbase and fucking did it again the next year, and since /ptg/ are gullible fools that kept justifying the unjustifiable, /sg/ developped a hatred that quickly evolved into the pity one feels for a mentally impaired relative. Should /sg/ meet /ptg/ on the field, they'll prove the superiority of the helicopter-dropped barrel bomb over the uselessly expensive jewllistic missile.

1-0-1

Honors

• 

  /pol/eague 2: Champions