/hm/ Roster
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Players
| Subs | Starter | Silver | Gold |
Gold, Silver, Starting Players and Subs have the appropriate coloured background. If you have any trouble, please refer to the table above.
Goalkeepers
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 46 | Twink | 
|
Slender and athletic. Just the way pedos like him. | 188 | 107 | Left | - | GK Long Throw |
| 17 | Pearmode | File:Pearmode.png | It's the guy who drew that comic about his fake wife having a miscarriage. Doesn't help the fact he look like an accessory to a fruit bowl. | - | - | Left | - | - |
| 36 | Full Homo | File:Full Homo.png | "Do these shoes suit me darling? They do? Well thats just fabulous!" | 170 | 95 | Left | - | GK Long Throw |
Center Backs
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Gayvid Beckham | 
|
It might be his tight abs. It might be those soccer-player legs. Hell it might be the beard (probably the beard). Whether /hm/ or H&M you can always count on Beckham to have your back. | 178 | 88 | Left | - | Track Back |
| 0 | Zayn Malik | 
|
If there's a single member of any boy band that's got the perfect tan, perfect hair, and delicious pouty lips, there's only One Direction to go. | 170 | 66 | Left | - | - |
| 12 | Jesse Starr | 
|
Believe it or not he is legal and male. | 167 | 59 | Left | - | One-Touch Pass/Track Back |
| 45 | Anderson Cooper | 
|
The Silver Fox | 180 | 82 | Left | - | - |
| 86 | CP Links | File:CP Links.png | Because every single gay man on /hm/ wants to wank to whiny teenage girls. | 185 | 82 | Left | - | - |
| 18 | Cut | File:Cut.png | More hygienic (also the Master Race). However some people prefer his counter: Uncut | 178 | 82 | Left | - | - |
| 8 | Uncut | File:Uncut.png | How nature intended. However some people prefer his counter: Cut | 185 | 78 | Left | - | Track Back |
| 88 | Wincest Cousin | File:Wincest Cousin.png | That really hot cousin who fooled around with you when you were both horny young teenagers. | 185 | 82 | Left | - | - |
| 71 | No Mods | 
|
>/hm/ >mods Pick one. | 180 | 121 | Left | - | Track Back |
| 21 | Huge Jackedman | File:Wolverine.png | Sideburns with the voice of an angel. Also an Aussie, and that's always a plus. | - | - | Left | - | - |
Right Midfielders
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 80 | Ryan Reynolds | 
|
Worst Actor? Maybe. Best Charmer? Definitely. | 183 | 76 | Left | - | Speeding Bullet/Pinpoint Crossing/Incisive Run |
Left Midfielders
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Ellen 
|
|
An effeminate man? She is also the queen of /hm/ | 183 | 55 | Left | - | Captaincy/Speeding Bullet/Pinpoint Crossing/Incisive Run |
Center Midfielders
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 4 | Moot's Jawline | 
|
2Chiseled4You. Makes you wanna chew on it~ | 191 | 61 | Left | - | Sombrero/One-Touch Pass |
| 9 | STDSTDSTD | File:STDSTDSTD.png | Remember guys. Always use protection. | 186 | 83 | Left | - | Marseille Turn |
| 30 | Straight Best Friend | File:Straight Best Friend.png | >>>/adv/ | 175 | 76 | Left | - | - |
| 15 | Daddy Issues | File:Daddy Issues.png | Often the first encounter with your homosex love. Nothing beats the loving embrace of your big hairy lovable teddy-bear dad. | 180 | 84 | Left | - | - |
| 69 | Mars/hm/allow | File:Marshmallow.png | Your average /hm/ user. | 190 | 77 | Left | - | Long Ranger |
| 22 | Corbin Fisher | File:Corbin Fisher.png | The first gay porn you ever watched at the tender age of 14. | 182 | 80 | Left | - | - |
Second Strikers
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 11 | Justin Bieber | 
|
The most popular man to post on /hm/, and probably everything wrong with twink-love on the board. Prone to bitch-fits. | - | - | Left | - | - |
Center Fowards
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bearforce | 
|
The epitome of what we strive to be, and who we strive to be with. With a mighty roar, stout composure, and un-matched body hair proportion, Bearforce stands as the mightiest representatives of the main ideology of /hm/.
BEAR. FORCE. ONE. |
200 | 100 | Left | - | Trickster/ Scissors Feint/ Acr. Finishing/Speeding Bullet |
Retired Players
| Subs | Starter | Silver | Gold |
Gold, Silver, Starting Players and Subs have the appropriate coloured background. If you have any trouble, please refer to the table above.
| Number | Name | Image | Description | Height (cm) | Weight (kg) | Footedness | Boots | Skill cards |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 17 | Hot Facebook Friend | 
|
That guy you stalk on facebook. | 185 | 84 | Left | - | - |
| 69 | Mars/hm/allow | File:Marshmallow.png | Your average /hm/ user. | 190 | 77 | Left | - | Long Ranger |
| 11 | Disturbia | 
|
He now has tits, just like Rihanna. So stop posting that fucking picture. | 183 | 84 | Left | - | Outside Curler/ Acr. Finishing/ Knuckle Shot/ Weighted Pass |
| 21 | Sean Cody | File:Sean Cody.png | Do you remember that really cool bro who always played a lot of sports in highschool but never went to college? | 180 | 82 | Left | - | - |
