Difference between revisions of "User:Aitor Karanka//nba/"

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Line 2: Line 2:
|team= nba
|team= nba
|motto= Bringing the dunkest memes
|motto= Bringing the dunkest memes
|name= National Basketball Association
|name= Numerous Burner Accounts
|date=  
|date=  
|owner= Donald Sterling
|owner= Donald Sterling
|manager= Gregg Popovich
|manager= Gregg Popovich
|irl= {{Anonymous|Vinny del Negro|!!vHwU8e1Ta/3}}<br>{{Anonymous|Ira Newble|!!o16SVJJscF1}}
|bgcolor= 0253A4
|txtcolor= ffffff
|irl= {{Anonymous|HonestAbe|!!vHwU8e1Ta/3}}<br>{{Anonymous|Enoughunkownsources|!!o16SVJJscF1}}
|color1= 0253A4
|color1= 0253A4
|color2= CC2B31
|color2= CC2B31
Line 15: Line 17:
|low_date=  
|low_date=  
|scorer=  Swept in 5
|scorer=  Swept in 5
|goals = 7
|goals = 16
|assister= {{tt|Career Ending Injury|Previously Le Spicy Dish Man}}
|assister= Swept in 5
|assists = 3
|assists = 9
|captain= Swept in 5
|captain= Swept in 5
|w= 4
|w= 9
|d= 0
|d= 1
|l= 3
|l= 10
|gf=19
|gf=57
|ga=18
|ga=51
|win_home= nba
|win_home= nba
|win_away= irc
|win_away= lwa
|win_score_home= 5
|win_score_home= 7
|win_score_away= 2
|win_score_away= 1
|win_date= December 16th, 2015
|win_date= September 1st, 2019
|lose_home= nba
|lose_home= nba
|lose_away= metallurgy
|lose_away= metallurgy
Line 43: Line 45:
|anthem= youtube.com/watch?v=fZKX-cf_p90
|anthem= youtube.com/watch?v=fZKX-cf_p90
|a_title= NBA on NBC Theme
|a_title= NBA on NBC Theme
|altanthem1_what= Victory anthem if either My San Antonio Spurs or SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP scored
|altanthem1_what= Knockouts
|altanthem1= www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks44506dmZY&ab_channel=Wayne
|altanthem1= youtu.be/QKJGvRiFqFE
|altanthem1_title= Lil Wayne - No Mercy (Undisputed theme)
|altanthem1_title= Alan Parsons Project - Sirius
|horn= youtube.com/watch?v=HBQ2mjkvYY8
|altanthem2_what= Closing Anthem
|gh_title= FUUUUUUUUUUCK KEVIN DURANT
|altanthem2= youtu.be/l1Vf-fZoM_M?t=7s
|altgh1_what= SKEEEEEEEEUP's goalhorn
|altanthem2_title= See You Again - Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth (tribute to Kobe Bryant)
|althorn1= youtu.be/Pk8jMZvdqx8
|horn= youtube.com/watch?v=dLoU0bgYOaU
|altgh1_title= Shannon Sharpe - King of Akron
|gh_title= Variations of Space Jam
|altgh1_what= Load Management
|althorn1= youtu.be/VL-JEHQdSug
|altgh1_title= Kawhi Leonard Laugh Remix
|altgh3_what= Fuck Kevin Durant
|althorn3= youtube.com/watch?v=HBQ2mjkvYY8
|altgh3_title= FUUUUUUUUUUCK KEVIN DURANT
|altgh4_what= Qing James
|althorn4= youtube.com/watch?v=5tCMI0uKbBE
|altgh4_title= Without the Communist Party, There Would Be No New China
|nickname = THE /nba/ IS SO FUCKING REAL HOLY SHIT
|nickname = THE /nba/ IS SO FUCKING REAL HOLY SHIT
}}
}}
Line 57: Line 68:
==Roster==
==Roster==
{{sq start}}
{{sq start}}
{{sq start player |no=16 |pos=GK |name={{greentext|The State of the NBA}}}}
{{sq start player |no=16 |pos=GK |name=The Absolute State of the NBA}}
{{sq start player |no=4 |pos=CB |name=Kawaii Leonard}}
{{sq start player |no=4 |pos=CB |name={{greentext|6'5" centers}}}}
{{sq start player |no=95 |pos=CB |name={{greentext|Craptors}}}}
{{sq start player |no=95 |pos=CB |name=Santa Cruz Warriors}}
{{sq start player |no=9|pos=CB |name={{greentext|Leastern Conference}}}}
{{sq start player |no=9|pos=CB |name={{greentext|D Wade}}}}
{{sq start player |no=24 |pos=DMF|name={{greentext|NBA Awards}}}}
{{sq start player |no=24 |pos=DMF|name=Jon Wol is still ded}}
{{sq silver player |no=23 |pos=CMF |name=Jon Wol is SHOOK}}
{{sq silver player |no=23 |pos=CMF |name=Load management}}
{{sq silver player |no=26 |pos=CMF |name=Westbrick}}
{{sq silver player |no=26 |pos=CMF |name=Fuck Rudy Gobert}}
{{sq gold player |no=30 |pos=AMF |name=FUCK KEVIN DURANT}}
{{sq gold player |no=30 |pos=AMF |name=Mamba Out}}
{{sq start player |no=50 |pos=SS |name=Stay in Yo Lane}}
{{sq start player |no=50 |pos=SS |name=Qing James}}
{{sq start player |no=27 |pos=SS |name=My San Antonio Spurs}}
{{sq start player |no=27 |pos=SS |name=The shot of death}}
{{sq gold player |no=5 |pos=SS |name=Swept in 5}}
{{sq gold player |no=5 |pos=SS |name=Swept in 5}}
{{sq mid}}
{{sq mid}}
{{sq player |no=20|pos=GK |name={{greentext|Ads on Jerseys}}}}
{{sq player |no=20|pos=GK |name={{greentext|H-O-R-S-E}}}}
{{sq player |no=73 |pos=CB |name=Thanks Billy King}}
{{sq player |no=2|pos=CB |name=Everyone to the Clippers}}
{{sq player |no=32 |pos=CB |name=RINGZ ERNEH}}
{{sq player |no=35 |pos=CB |name=$1000 in lottery tickets}}
{{sq player |no=2|pos=CB |name=Gatorade League}}
{{sq player |no=32 |pos=CB |name=Learning how to walk}}
{{sq player |no=35 |pos=DMF |name=Where in the world is Derrick Rose?}}
{{sq player |no=73 |pos=DMF |name=Damn the Process}}
{{sq player |no=13|pos=SS |name= Le Door Stop Pee Pee Man}}
{{sq player |no=13|pos=CMF |name= Tacko Fall}}
{{sq player |no=26 |pos=SS |name=Meme Player}}
{{sq player |no=26 |pos=SS |name=Dwight "WWG1WGA" Howard}}
{{sq player |no=21 |pos=SS |name=Career-Ending Injury}}
{{sq player |no=21 |pos=SS |name=Meme Player}}
{{sq player |no=0|pos=SS |name=Da Land}}
{{sq player |no=0|pos=SS |name={{greentext|trading for Westbrick}}}}
{{sq player |no=34|pos=SS |name=First off, you're not a good fighter}}
{{sq player |no=34|pos=SS |name=Thanks, Magic}}
{{sq player |no=41|pos=SS |name= SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP}}
{{sq player |no=41|pos=SS |name= Magic City}}
{{sq player |no=3 |pos=SS |name=fucKINGStupid}}
{{sq player |no=3 |pos=SS |name=Eric jr}}
{{sq end}}
{{sq end}}


Line 88: Line 99:
! Player !! {{greentext|de scription}}
! Player !! {{greentext|de scription}}
|-
|-
| {{greentext|The state of the NBA}} || No, the NBA isn't rigged, the NBA is broken and beyond repair. Hard salary cap when?
| The state of the NBA || Brought back to balance thanks to the Board Man
|-
|-
| Kawaii Leonard || Nigga, that's kawaii.
| Manboobs || [https://youtu.be/Non_dTEbVbc Skip Bayless unironically quoted notorious Twitter troll Barry McCockiner on Undisputed]
|-
|-
| {{greentext|craptors}} || {{greentext|meme teams}}
| Sell the team, Dolan || When you get cucked out of Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant only for them to join a team that didn't have a first round pick in 5 years and still looks better than your team, plus you fail to win the lottery to land Zion. All of this whilst getting rid of your promising star player for a bag of chips to be left holding the bag. Sell the team, Dolan. <br> '''(USER WAS BANNED FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN FOR THIS POST)'''
|-
|-
| {{greentext|Leastern Conference}} || LeBron is king there and instead of trying to stop him, Eastern Conference teams stars usually defect to the West.
| I'm trying Jennifer || Apparently the only motivation CJ McCollum and the Blazers needed was CJ replying to a Warriors fan that taunted him for previous playoff shortcomings
|-
|-
| {{greentext|NBA Awards}} || Eclipsed by LaVar Ball doing mandrama.
| Jon Wol is ded || Shook so hard that he's going to miss the entire 2019-20 season. Good luck trying to move that contract, Washington
|-
|-
| Jon Wol is SHOOK || or maybe not, the Joe Flacco of the NBA.
| Arye Abraham || "Sources tell me Kawhi has ruled the Clippers OUT" <br> "Kawhi Leonard to the Lakers is a done deal" <br> "I reported on this SIX DAYS ago" <br> "Kawhi’s decision to join LAC involved a MATERIAL change in circumstances. Adding a superstar is a MATERIAL change in circumstances. At the time of my report, LAC did NOT have a superstar. It is a FACT that Leonard would not have joined without a superstar." <br> [https://twitter.com/TheJesseBeer/status/1144787538889994240?s=19 Meanwhile some guy that works for KTLA and primarily covers baseball gets it right]
|-
|-
| {{greentext|Westbrick}} || Your friendly reminder that breaking Oscar Robertson's triple doubles record in a season doesn't mean shit when your team is so bereft of depth and talent it gets its ass handed to them in  the Playoffs
| FUCK KEVIN DURANT || After three years of constant harassment from NBA fans for his blatant ring chasing, Kevin Durant showed a bit of respect when he played through a clear ligament tear in the finals (even though Golden State screwed the pooch here) and tore an ACL on his game back, he will definitely miss the 2019-20 season but at least he's got his ring and bolted off to Brooklyn where he won't be called a snake
|-
|-
| FUCK KEVIN DURANT || LeBron left a Cleveland team that had no stars besides himself. Joins Miami who had been mediocre the past 4 years. As Wade and Bosh hit the end of their primes LeBron departed, returning to Cleveland who had been the worst team. KD at one point had Russ, Harden, Ibaka. KD and Russ this year were top 5 players. KD already was on a stacked team. KD joined a team that won 67 and 73 games the last 2 years. Back to back finals appearances. Back to back mvp winner. A team with 3 all-star caliber players
| Board man gets paid || Kawhi Leonard's bizarre trash talking from his days of college gained notoriety in the 2019 NBA playoffs, and now since he won Finals MVP that mantra has stuck alongside his bizarre laugh at his press conference in Toronto and [https://youtu.be/YepzD44YVkw "What it do baby?"]
 
Also fuck Lil Bitch for not doubling down on the curse when he joined Golden State.
|-
|-
| Stay in yo lane || NBA is only for B I G  B A L L E R S only. You are a big baller, right? Buy the ZO2s.
| Please notice us || The Utah Jazz made some good moves in the offseason, please talk about them.
|-
|-
| My San Antonio Spurs || I must insist to you Shannon Sharpe, that '''''My San Antonio Spurs''''' would have beaten the Golden State Warriors in the playoffs had it not been for Zaza injuring Kawhi Leonard. [Angry Skip Bayless noises]
| The shot of death || [https://youtu.be/a-M3x-eZpV8 Damian Lillard's buzzer beater was so strong it literally made the Oklahoma City Thunder dismantle their team]  
|-
|-
| Swept in 5 || The common trash talk in the playoffs, your team isn't going to be swept in 4 games, they're going to be swept in '''''5'''''.
| Swept in 5 || The gentleman's sweep.
|-
|-
| {{greentext|Ads on jerseys}} || To add insult to injury to the already unwatchable brand of basketball the NBA is offering right now, you must add that next season ads will appear on jerseys, thank you Adam Silver for proving someone can be so bad at being a commish it's making NBA fans longing for David Stern.
| Big Clearance Brand || Remember when those ZO2's people paid over $500 to get? [https://www.si.com/nba/2019/07/16/big-baller-brand-clearance-sale-lavar-lonzo-ball They were being sold off as a $100 combo alongside shirts, hoodies and socks at a volleyball tournament. Cash only please]
|-
|-
| Thanks Billy King|| Who would've thought that burning down your future for aging players like Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Jason Terry would have brought so many dire consequences to the Brooklyn Nets
| Anyone want Wiggins?|| He still has enough upside! Only a first round pick all we ask! Please help us move his contract.
|-
|-
| RINGZ ERNEH || Chuck is called the round mound of rebound but he has no rings Ernie. I have four rings Ernie. The earth is flat. It's flat Ernie
| Dälläs Mävs || The Dallas Mavericks have seen well enough into the future that in 5 years their roster will be entirely European. They WILL take all of those tall lanky guys that can shoot 3s.
|-
|-
| NBA Gatorade League || How about we make our already mediocre minor league a laughing stock by literally renaming it after a sponsor?
| Fultz's shooting || He has the yips?! This guy was a consensus #1 pick! The Sixers quickly gave up on him after less than two years. Well on his way to becoming the next biggest bust since Anthony Bennett.
|-
|-
| Where in the world is Derrick Rose? || One of the many highlights of the 2016-17 season for the New York Knicks was Derrick Rose going AWOL raising legit concerns about his whereabouts, only to find he fucked off to Chicago because he was homesick
| Damn the process || All those assets Sam Hinkie got? Don't mind them if Elton Brand uses them to acquire a one year rental of Jimmy Butler, Tobias Harris on a max and the guy with the yips Markelle Fultz. All of this for a second round exit.
|-
|-
| Le Door stop pee pee man || Fear the Beard
| Dwight Howard (glute) out || [https://twitter.com/MasinElije/status/1066522890865131520 Apparently Dwight Howard needs to work on his rim protection]
|-
|-
| Meme Player || Le Chuck 3s from very far away man.
| Multiple Sources || Chris Broussard's infamous sources were put on to show throughout the entire Kawhi saga, turns out he was just quoting "Reddit insiders" like Arye Abraham and RDAmbition. Remember guys: Kawhi has a 95% chance of going to the Lakers barring a change of heart.
|-
|-
| Career-Ending Injury || Post athletes you want to see not only get a career ending injury but get the kind of injury that would affect them for the rest of their lives
| Meme Player || Reminder that Steph Curry still has 0 Finals MVP and is invisible when it matters.
|-
|-
| Da Land || {{greentext|yfw lebron got one for da land
| It's easy, it's me || Paul Pierce was flamed to hell and back for having the audacity of saying that he had a better career than Dwyane Wade. [https://youtu.be/L2lXz5CCwuU One of his most infamous moments as a pundit for ESPN]. He should watch out as Ryan Hollins is gunning for his spot.
|-
|-
|SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP || HOL ON SKEEEEEEEEEEEUP LEBRAHN IS DA KANG OF AKRON, HE WILL TURN THIS AROUND SKEEEEEEEEEEUP.
| I'm not gon' be here || Magic Johnson decided to stop being an "executive" for the Los Angeles Lakers in order to shitpost on Twitter.
|-
|-
| First off, you're not a good fighter || {{greentext|I got more ringz than you Chuck, I'll fight you right here}}<br> First off, you're not a good fighter<br> Shaq proceeds to stay BTFO
| Jared Dudley sweepstakes || The Lakers didn't land Kawhi? That's not a problem! They signed Jared Dudley, Avery Bradley, the corpse of Boogie Cousins, Rajon Rondo and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. Their bench is definitely stacked!!
|-
|-
| fucKINGStupid || How to showcase the brilliance of your front office? Get rid of your prima donna star that actually wanted to stay with your team and trade him away for literally scraps.
| Eric jr || [https://www.theringer.com/nba/2018/5/29/17406750/bryan-colangelo-philadelphia-76ers-twitter-joel-embiid-anonymous-markelle-fultz That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant.]
|-
|-
|}
|}


==Music section==
===Shanghai Sharks edition===
*Anthem: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZKX-cf_p90 NBA on NBC theme]
 
*Goalhorn: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBQ2mjkvYY8 FUUUCK KEVIN DURAAAAAANT]
{{sq start}}
*SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP Goalhorn [https://youtu.be/Pk8jMZvdqx8 Shannon Sharpe - King of Akron]
{{sq start player |no=16 |pos=GK |name=Andre Drummond}}
*Victory anthem if either My San Antonio Spurs or SKEEEEEEEEEUP scored: [https://youtu.be/ks44506dmZY Lil Wayne - No Mercy (Undisputed Theme)]
{{sq start player |no=4 |pos=LB |name=Tony Snell}}
*Goalhorn against /fhg/: [http://picosong.com/Zawx/ Hastily made Cleveland tourism video: NBA edition]
{{sq start player |no=95 |pos=CB |name=Elfrid Payton}}
*Sir Charles' alt horn: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npj4EHzoeBQ I May Be Wrong (But I Doubt It)]
{{sq start player |no=9|pos=CB |name=CJ McCollum}}
{{sq start player |no=24 |pos=RB|name=Joe Harris}}
{{sq silver player |no=23 |pos=DMF |name=Dennis Schroeder}}
{{sq start player |no=50 |pos=CMF |name=Tingis Pingis}}
{{sq start player |no=27 |pos=CMF |name=Emmanuel Mudiay}}
{{sq silver player |no=26 |pos=CMF |name=Rudy Gobert}}
{{sq gold player |no=30 |pos=SS |name=Kyle Kuzma}}
{{sq gold player |no=5 |pos=CF |name=Ben Simmons{{captain}}}}
{{sq mid}}
{{sq player |no=20|pos=GK |name=Montrezl Harrell}}
{{sq player |no=2|pos=LB |name=Jordan Clarkson}}
{{sq player |no=35 |pos=LB |name=Tyler Herro}}
{{sq player |no=32 |pos=CB |name=Avery Bradley}}
{{sq player |no=73 |pos=CB |name=Obi Toppin}}
{{sq player |no=13|pos=RB |name= Mason Plumlee}}
{{sq player |no=26 |pos=RB |name=Bam Adebayo}}
{{sq player |no=21 |pos=CMF |name=Maxi Kleber}}
{{sq player |no=0|pos=CMF |name=Andrew Wiggins}}
{{sq player |no=34|pos=CMF |name=Isaiah Thomas}}
{{sq player |no=41|pos=SS |name= Danny Ainge}}
{{sq player |no=3 |pos=CF |name=Doc Rivers}}
{{sq end}}


==Match history==
==Match history==
Line 195: Line 225:
| 3 July 2016
| 3 July 2016
| {{team away|jojo}}
| {{team away|jojo}}
| align=center|[http://implyingrigged.info/wiki//ag/_League#Group_Doggo /ag/ League]
|align=center| [[:/ag/ League 1]]
| 2-1 W
| 2-1 W
| {{goal|Hot Sauce|32}} <br> {{goal|Wet Ass Jumper|71}}
|<small>{{goal|Hot Sauce|32}} <br> {{goal|Wet Ass Jumper|71}} </small>
|
|
|-bgcolor="#ffcccc"
|-bgcolor="#ffcccc"
| 6 July 2016
| 6 July 2016
| {{team away|metallurgy}}
| {{team away|metallurgy}}
| align=center|[http://implyingrigged.info/wiki//ag/_League#Group_Doggo /ag/ League]
|align=center| [[:/ag/ League 1]]
| 0-3 L
|align=center|0-3 L
|  
|  
|
|
|-bgcolor="#ffcccc"
| 8 July 2016
| [[File:Mtg_icon.png|25px|link=User:Lear//mtg/]] '''[[User:Lear//mtg/|/mtg/]]'''
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 1]]
|align=center|2-3 L
|<small> Career-Ending Injury {{goal|28}} <br> Hot Sauce {{goal|82}} </small>
|
|-bgcolor='ffffcc'
| 27 August 2017
|{{team away|trb}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder]]
|align=center|1-1 D
|<small> {{goal|90+2}} {{greentext|craptors}} </small>
|
|-bgcolor='ccffcc'
| 28 August 2017
|{{team away|mild}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder]]
|align=center|3-1 W
|<small> {{goal|5}} Career-Ending Injury<br>{{goal|13}} FUCK KEVIN DURANT <br>{{goal|73}} Swept in 5 </small>
|
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
| 1 September 2017
|{{team away|drw}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder]]
|align=center|1-2 L
|<small> {{goal|77}} {{greentext|craptors}} </small>
|
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
| 2 September 2017
|{{team away|ita}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder]]
|align=center|2-4 L
|<small> {{goal|75}} Jon Wol Is SHOOK<br>{{goal|78}} Swept In 5 </small>
|
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
| 7 July 2018
| {{team away|cbj}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition]]
|align=center|3-4 L
|<small>Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|48}} <br> Swept in 5 {{goal|54}} <br> {{greentext|Westbrick}} {{goal|84}}</small>
|
|-bgcolor='ccffcc'
| 8 July 2018
| {{team away|mls+ayy}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition]]
|align=center|7-5 W
|<small>{{greentext|Westbrick}} {{goal|18}}<br> LeBron needs help {{goal|37}} <br> Swept in 5 {{goal|44||88}} <br> Career-Ending Injury {{goal|53}} <br> Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|82||90+2}}</small>
|<small>No player was rated higher than 6.5</small>
|-bgcolor='ccffcc'
| 14 July 2018
|{{Vaughan fhg away}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition]]
|align=center|2-0 W
|<small>{{greentext|Westbrick}} {{goal|6}} <br> {{tt|SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP|the great betrayal}} {{goal|86}}</small>
|<small>First shutout in /nba/ history</small>
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
| 20 July 2018
| {{team away|snes}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition]]
|align=center|3-4 L
|<small>Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|10||30}} <br> Eric jr {{goal|49}}
|
|-bgcolor='ffcccc'
| 31 August 2019
| {{team away|nhl}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl]]
|align=center|1-3 L
|<small>Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|90+5}}
|
|-bgcolor='ccffcc'
| 1 September 2019
|{{team away|lwa}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl]]
|align=center|7-1 W
|<small>I'm not gon' be here {{goal|5||24}} <br> Sell the team, Dolan {{goal|57}} <br> Damn the Process {{goal|68}} <br> Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|78||85}} <br> Swept in 5 {{goal|83}}</small>
|<small>Biggest win in /nba/ history</small>
|-bgcolor="#ffcccc"
| 7 September 2019
| {{vaughan fhg away}}
|align=center|[[:/ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl]]
|align=center|3-4 L
|<small> Damn the Process {{goal|7||25}} <br> Swept in 5 {{goal|57}} </small>
|<small>{{greentext|blowing a 3-1 lead on a must win game}} <br> {{greentext|Steph Curry when the game matters}} </small>
|-bgcolor='ccffcc'
| 21 September 2019
|{{team away|nfl}}
|align=center|[[:/sp/erb Owl 2019*]]
|align=center|3-1 W
|<small>Swept in 5 {{goal|42||76||89}}</small>
|<small></small>
|}
|}


Line 226: Line 347:
| <small> Blatant sternball tbqh </small>
| <small> Blatant sternball tbqh </small>
|-bgcolor="#ccffcc"
|-bgcolor="#ccffcc"
| 19 June 2016
| 19 June 2016-
| {{team away|epl}}
| {{team away|epl}}
| align=center|[[Rigging After Dark]]
| align=center|[[Rigging After Dark]]
Line 234: Line 355:
|-bgcolor="#ffcccc"
|-bgcolor="#ffcccc"
| 21 June 2016
| 21 June 2016
| {{team away|fhg}}
| {{Vaughan fhg away}}
| align=center|[[Rigging After Dark]]
| align=center|[[Rigging After Dark]]
| align=center|2-2 L <br> (5-4 pens)
| align=center|2-2 L <br> (5-4 pens)
Line 246: Line 367:
| <small>Swept in 5 {{goal|8||26||68}}<br>Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|12||29}}<br>{{greentext|Westbrick}} {{goal|21||62}}<br>SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP {{goal|31||34||38||80}}<br>{{greentext|Craptors}} {{goal|36||40||42||76||88}}<br>Jon Wol is SHOOK {{goal|52}}<br>Stay in Yo Lane {{goal|71||81||83}}<br>Where in the world is Derrick Rose? {{goal|90+5}}</small>
| <small>Swept in 5 {{goal|8||26||68}}<br>Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|12||29}}<br>{{greentext|Westbrick}} {{goal|21||62}}<br>SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP {{goal|31||34||38||80}}<br>{{greentext|Craptors}} {{goal|36||40||42||76||88}}<br>Jon Wol is SHOOK {{goal|52}}<br>Stay in Yo Lane {{goal|71||81||83}}<br>Where in the world is Derrick Rose? {{goal|90+5}}</small>
|
|
|-
|-bgcolor="#ccffcc"
| 1 July 2018
| {{team away|trash}}
| align=center|[[Fakkin_Boolsheet_Series_IV#Home_Run_Derby|Home Run Derby]]
| align=center|15-0 W
| <small>Swept In 5 {{goal|2||26||37||70||78|}}<br>Jon Wol Is Shook {{goal|8||24|}}<br>Fuck Kevin Durant {{goal|9||19||34||45+0||60||64|}}<br>Career Ending Injury {{goal|29|}}<br>Eric jr {{goal|86|}}<br></small>
| <small>Back to back, baby</small>
|}
|}


==Exports==
==Exports==
Tactical export: http://www.mediafire.com/file/v5xjg8z13evx0v0/TEXPORT00000012.rar<br>Aesthetics export: http://www.mediafire.com/file/9l92zbjaxqp2sii/NBA+Aesthetic+Export.rar
Tactical export: [https://www.mediafire.com/file/msem390hac1n41r/nba-tic-tacs.ted/file curated by John Beilein]<br>
Music export: [https://www.mediafire.com/file/v9ld9sfojiujrir/NBA_Music_export_-_now_with_chants.rar/file BRON'S GONNA TRADE YOU]<br>
Aesthetics export: [https://www.mediafire.com/file/5t6g76k82orr437/NBA_Aesthetic_Export.rar/file City edition not included]

Latest revision as of 18:54, 13 January 2023

/nba/
Bringing the dunkest memes
Nba logo.png
/nba/ - Numerous Burner Accounts
Founded
Manager Gregg Popovich
Owner Donald Sterling
IRL manager HonestAbe !!vHwU8e1Ta/3
Enoughunkownsources !!o16SVJJscF1
Team colors
Chat color 0253A4
NBA blue
Top scorer Swept in 5 (16)
Top assister Swept in 5 (9)
Captain Swept in 5
Website /nba/ - Numerous Burner Accounts
Nickname THE /nba/ IS SO FUCKING REAL HOLY SHIT
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
9 1 10 20 45%
GF GA GD
57 51 +6
Biggest win
/nba/ Nba icon.png 7–1 Lwa icon.png /lwa/
September 1st, 2019
Biggest defeat
/nba/ Nba icon.png 0–3 Metallurgy icon.png /metallurgy/
December 14th, 2015
First match
/4ccg/ 4ccg icon.png 1–0 Nba icon.png /nba/
December 14th, 2015
Team music
Anthem NBA on NBC Theme
Knockouts Alan Parsons Project - Sirius
Closing Anthem See You Again - Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth (tribute to Kobe Bryant)
Goal horn Variations of Space Jam
Load Management Kawhi Leonard Laugh Remix
Fuck Kevin Durant FUUUUUUUUUUCK KEVIN DURANT
Qing James Without the Communist Party, There Would Be No New China
Kits


/nba/ is the representative for all the apehoop/floorsqueak/jiggaboojam fans out there, originally aspiring to make it into the Fake Teamb Owl 3, but since that isn't going to happen in our lifetimes, it'll take on the Outlel Bowl so /nba/ can prove that they know how to drop the dunkest memes.

Roster

No. Position Player
16
  GK
The Absolute State of the NBA
4
  CB
>6'5" centers
95
  CB
Santa Cruz Warriors
9
  CB
>D Wade
24
  DMF
Jon Wol is still ded
23
  CMF
Load management
26
  CMF
Fuck Rudy Gobert
30
  AMF
Mamba Out
50
  SS
Qing James
27
  SS
The shot of death
5
  SS
Swept in 5
No. Position Player
20
  GK
>H-O-R-S-E
2
  CB
Everyone to the Clippers
35
  CB
$1000 in lottery tickets
32
  CB
Learning how to walk
73
  DMF
Damn the Process
13
  CMF
Tacko Fall
26
  SS
Dwight "WWG1WGA" Howard
21
  SS
Meme Player
0
  SS
>trading for Westbrick
34
  SS
Thanks, Magic
41
  SS
Magic City
3
  SS
Eric jr


Player >de scription
The state of the NBA Brought back to balance thanks to the Board Man
Manboobs Skip Bayless unironically quoted notorious Twitter troll Barry McCockiner on Undisputed
Sell the team, Dolan When you get cucked out of Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant only for them to join a team that didn't have a first round pick in 5 years and still looks better than your team, plus you fail to win the lottery to land Zion. All of this whilst getting rid of your promising star player for a bag of chips to be left holding the bag. Sell the team, Dolan.
(USER WAS BANNED FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN FOR THIS POST)
I'm trying Jennifer Apparently the only motivation CJ McCollum and the Blazers needed was CJ replying to a Warriors fan that taunted him for previous playoff shortcomings
Jon Wol is ded Shook so hard that he's going to miss the entire 2019-20 season. Good luck trying to move that contract, Washington
Arye Abraham "Sources tell me Kawhi has ruled the Clippers OUT"
"Kawhi Leonard to the Lakers is a done deal"
"I reported on this SIX DAYS ago"
"Kawhi’s decision to join LAC involved a MATERIAL change in circumstances. Adding a superstar is a MATERIAL change in circumstances. At the time of my report, LAC did NOT have a superstar. It is a FACT that Leonard would not have joined without a superstar."
Meanwhile some guy that works for KTLA and primarily covers baseball gets it right
FUCK KEVIN DURANT After three years of constant harassment from NBA fans for his blatant ring chasing, Kevin Durant showed a bit of respect when he played through a clear ligament tear in the finals (even though Golden State screwed the pooch here) and tore an ACL on his game back, he will definitely miss the 2019-20 season but at least he's got his ring and bolted off to Brooklyn where he won't be called a snake
Board man gets paid Kawhi Leonard's bizarre trash talking from his days of college gained notoriety in the 2019 NBA playoffs, and now since he won Finals MVP that mantra has stuck alongside his bizarre laugh at his press conference in Toronto and "What it do baby?"
Please notice us The Utah Jazz made some good moves in the offseason, please talk about them.
The shot of death Damian Lillard's buzzer beater was so strong it literally made the Oklahoma City Thunder dismantle their team
Swept in 5 The gentleman's sweep.
Big Clearance Brand Remember when those ZO2's people paid over $500 to get? They were being sold off as a $100 combo alongside shirts, hoodies and socks at a volleyball tournament. Cash only please
Anyone want Wiggins? He still has enough upside! Only a first round pick all we ask! Please help us move his contract.
Dälläs Mävs The Dallas Mavericks have seen well enough into the future that in 5 years their roster will be entirely European. They WILL take all of those tall lanky guys that can shoot 3s.
Fultz's shooting He has the yips?! This guy was a consensus #1 pick! The Sixers quickly gave up on him after less than two years. Well on his way to becoming the next biggest bust since Anthony Bennett.
Damn the process All those assets Sam Hinkie got? Don't mind them if Elton Brand uses them to acquire a one year rental of Jimmy Butler, Tobias Harris on a max and the guy with the yips Markelle Fultz. All of this for a second round exit.
Dwight Howard (glute) out Apparently Dwight Howard needs to work on his rim protection
Multiple Sources Chris Broussard's infamous sources were put on to show throughout the entire Kawhi saga, turns out he was just quoting "Reddit insiders" like Arye Abraham and RDAmbition. Remember guys: Kawhi has a 95% chance of going to the Lakers barring a change of heart.
Meme Player Reminder that Steph Curry still has 0 Finals MVP and is invisible when it matters.
It's easy, it's me Paul Pierce was flamed to hell and back for having the audacity of saying that he had a better career than Dwyane Wade. One of his most infamous moments as a pundit for ESPN. He should watch out as Ryan Hollins is gunning for his spot.
I'm not gon' be here Magic Johnson decided to stop being an "executive" for the Los Angeles Lakers in order to shitpost on Twitter.
Jared Dudley sweepstakes The Lakers didn't land Kawhi? That's not a problem! They signed Jared Dudley, Avery Bradley, the corpse of Boogie Cousins, Rajon Rondo and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. Their bench is definitely stacked!!
Eric jr That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant.

Shanghai Sharks edition

No. Position Player
16
  GK
Andre Drummond
4
  LB
Tony Snell
95
  CB
Elfrid Payton
9
  CB
CJ McCollum
24
  RB
Joe Harris
23
  DMF
Dennis Schroeder
50
  CMF
Tingis Pingis
27
  CMF
Emmanuel Mudiay
26
  CMF
Rudy Gobert
30
  SS
Kyle Kuzma
5
  CF
Ben SimmonsCaptain
No. Position Player
20
  GK
Montrezl Harrell
2
  LB
Jordan Clarkson
35
  LB
Tyler Herro
32
  CB
Avery Bradley
73
  CB
Obi Toppin
13
  RB
Mason Plumlee
26
  RB
Bam Adebayo
21
  CMF
Maxi Kleber
0
  CMF
Andrew Wiggins
34
  CMF
Isaiah Thomas
41
  SS
Danny Ainge
3
  CF
Doc Rivers

Match history

"Official" matches

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers Notes
14 Decemeber 2015 4ccg icon.png /4ccg/ Outlel Bowl 1-0 L Blatant sternball tbqh
16 Decemeber 2015 Irc icon.png /irc/ Outlel Bowl 5-2 W Wet Ass Jumper Goal 16', 64'
Swept in 5 Goal 45'+1', 61'
One Legged Fadeaway Goal 90'+4'
16 Decemeber 2015 Sbg icon.png /sbg/ Outlel Bowl 2-3 W Le Spicy Dish Man Goal 6', 10'
Swept in 5 Goal 27'
21 Decemeber 2015 Neo- ag icon.png Neo-/ag/ Outlel Bowl 4-3 L Hot Sauce Goal 50', 54'
Practice Goal 81' 		Rigged worse than the Sacramento Kings in the 2002 WCF
21 Decemeber 2015 Ag icon.png /ag/ Outlel Bowl 6-5 L Swept in 5 Goal 6', 45+1', 90'+7', 117'
Z-Bo Goal 53'
Meme Player Goal 100' 		THIRD PLACE TROPHY IS OURS NIGGAS
3 July 2016 Jojo icon.png /jojo/ /ag/ League 1 2-1 W Goal Hot Sauce' (32)
Goal Wet Ass Jumper' (71)
6 July 2016 Metallurgy icon.png /metallurgy/ /ag/ League 1 0-3 L
8 July 2016 Mtg icon.png /mtg/ /ag/ League 1 2-3 L Career-Ending Injury Goal 28'
Hot Sauce Goal 82'
27 August 2017 Trb icon.png /trb/ /ag/ League 2: Autism Harder 1-1 D Goal 90+2' >craptors
28 August 2017 Mild icon.png /mild/ /ag/ League 2: Autism Harder 3-1 W Goal 5' Career-Ending Injury
Goal 13' FUCK KEVIN DURANT
Goal 73' Swept in 5
1 September 2017 Drw icon.png /drw/ /ag/ League 2: Autism Harder 1-2 L Goal 77' >craptors
2 September 2017 Ita icon.png /ita/ /ag/ League 2: Autism Harder 2-4 L Goal 75' Jon Wol Is SHOOK
Goal 78' Swept In 5
7 July 2018 Cbj icon.png /cbj/ /ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition 3-4 L Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 48'
Swept in 5 Goal 54'
>Westbrick Goal 84'
8 July 2018 Mls+ayy icon.png /mls+ayy/ /ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition 7-5 W >Westbrick Goal 18'
LeBron needs help Goal 37'
Swept in 5 Goal 44', 88'
Career-Ending Injury Goal 53'
Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 82', 90+2' 		No player was rated higher than 6.5
14 July 2018 Vaughan fhg no border icon.png /fhg/ /ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition 2-0 W >Westbrick Goal 6'
SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP Goal 86' 		First shutout in /nba/ history
20 July 2018 Snes icon.png /snes/ /ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition 3-4 L Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 10', 30'
Eric jr Goal 49'
31 August 2019 Nhl icon.png /nhl/ /ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl 1-3 L Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 90+5'
1 September 2019 Lwa icon.png /lwa/ /ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl 7-1 W I'm not gon' be here Goal 5', 24'
Sell the team, Dolan Goal 57'
Damn the Process Goal 68'
Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 78', 85'
Swept in 5 Goal 83' 		Biggest win in /nba/ history
7 September 2019 Vaughan fhg no border icon.png /fhg/ /ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl 3-4 L Damn the Process Goal 7', 25'
Swept in 5 Goal 57' 		>blowing a 3-1 lead on a must win game
>Steph Curry when the game matters
21 September 2019 Nfl icon.png /nfl/ /sp/erb Owl 2019* 3-1 W Swept in 5 Goal 42', 76', 89'

"Unofficial" matches

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers Notes
17 June 2016 Toon icon.png /toon/ Rigging After Dark 1-4 L Swept in 5 Goal 5' Blatant sternball tbqh
19 June 2016- Epl icon.png /epl/ Rigging After Dark 4-4 W
(4-3 Penalties) 		Swept in 5 Goal 7', 30'
Hot Sauce Goal 26'
Career-Ending Injury Goal 75'
21 June 2016 Vaughan fhg no border icon.png /fhg/ Rigging After Dark 2-2 L
(5-4 pens) 		Swept in 5 Goal 17'
Career-Ending Injury Goal 37'
2 July 2017 Trash icon.png /trash/ Home Run Derby 21-0 W Swept in 5 Goal 8', 26', 68'
Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 12', 29'
>Westbrick Goal 21', 62'
SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP Goal 31', 34', 38', 80'
>Craptors Goal 36', 40', 42', 76', 88'
Jon Wol is SHOOK Goal 52'
Stay in Yo Lane Goal 71', 81', 83'
Where in the world is Derrick Rose? Goal 90+5'
1 July 2018 Trash icon.png /trash/ Home Run Derby 15-0 W Swept In 5 Goal 2', 26', 37', 70', 78'
Jon Wol Is Shook Goal 8', 24'
Fuck Kevin Durant Goal 9', 19', 34', 45+0', 60', 64'
Career Ending Injury Goal 29'
Eric jr Goal 86'
 		Back to back, baby

Exports

Tactical export: curated by John Beilein
Music export: BRON'S GONNA TRADE YOU
Aesthetics export: City edition not included

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