User:Aitor Karanka//nba/

/nba/
Bringing the dunkest memes
/nba/ - Numerous Burner Accounts
Founded Manager Gregg Popovich Owner Donald Sterling IRL manager HonestAbe !!vHwU8e1Ta/3 Enoughunkownsources !!o16SVJJscF1 Team colors Chat color 0253A4 NBA blue Top scorer Swept in 5 (16) Top assister Swept in 5 (9) Captain Swept in 5 Website /nba/ - Numerous Burner Accounts Nickname THE /nba/ IS SO FUCKING REAL HOLY SHIT
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 9 1 10 20 45%
GF GA GD 57 51 +6
Biggest win /nba/  7–1  /lwa/ September 1st, 2019 Biggest defeat /nba/  0–3  /metallurgy/ December 14th, 2015 First match /4ccg/  1–0  /nba/ December 14th, 2015
Team music
Anthem NBA on NBC Theme Knockouts Alan Parsons Project - Sirius Closing Anthem See You Again - Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth (tribute to Kobe Bryant) Goal horn Variations of Space Jam Load Management Kawhi Leonard Laugh Remix Fuck Kevin Durant FUUUUUUUUUUCK KEVIN DURANT Qing James Without the Communist Party, There Would Be No New China
Kits

/nba/ is the representative for all the apehoop/floorsqueak/jiggaboojam fans out there, originally aspiring to make it into the Fake Teamb Owl 3, but since that isn't going to happen in our lifetimes, it'll take on the Outlel Bowl so /nba/ can prove that they know how to drop the dunkest memes.

Roster

No. Position Player 16   GK The Absolute State of the NBA 4   CB >6'5" centers 95   CB Santa Cruz Warriors 9   CB >D Wade 24   DMF Jon Wol is still ded 23   CMF Load management 26   CMF Fuck Rudy Gobert 30   AMF Mamba Out 50   SS Qing James 27   SS The shot of death 5   SS Swept in 5

No. Position Player 20   GK >H-O-R-S-E 2   CB Everyone to the Clippers 35   CB $1000 in lottery tickets 32   CB Learning how to walk 73   DMF Damn the Process 13   CMF Tacko Fall 26   SS Dwight "WWG1WGA" Howard 21   SS Meme Player 0   SS >trading for Westbrick 34   SS Thanks, Magic 41   SS Magic City 3   SS Eric jr

Player	>de scription
The state of the NBA	Brought back to balance thanks to the Board Man
Manboobs	Skip Bayless unironically quoted notorious Twitter troll Barry McCockiner on Undisputed
Sell the team, Dolan	When you get cucked out of Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant only for them to join a team that didn't have a first round pick in 5 years and still looks better than your team, plus you fail to win the lottery to land Zion. All of this whilst getting rid of your promising star player for a bag of chips to be left holding the bag. Sell the team, Dolan. (USER WAS BANNED FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN FOR THIS POST)
I'm trying Jennifer	Apparently the only motivation CJ McCollum and the Blazers needed was CJ replying to a Warriors fan that taunted him for previous playoff shortcomings
Jon Wol is ded	Shook so hard that he's going to miss the entire 2019-20 season. Good luck trying to move that contract, Washington
Arye Abraham	"Sources tell me Kawhi has ruled the Clippers OUT" "Kawhi Leonard to the Lakers is a done deal" "I reported on this SIX DAYS ago" "Kawhi’s decision to join LAC involved a MATERIAL change in circumstances. Adding a superstar is a MATERIAL change in circumstances. At the time of my report, LAC did NOT have a superstar. It is a FACT that Leonard would not have joined without a superstar." Meanwhile some guy that works for KTLA and primarily covers baseball gets it right
FUCK KEVIN DURANT	After three years of constant harassment from NBA fans for his blatant ring chasing, Kevin Durant showed a bit of respect when he played through a clear ligament tear in the finals (even though Golden State screwed the pooch here) and tore an ACL on his game back, he will definitely miss the 2019-20 season but at least he's got his ring and bolted off to Brooklyn where he won't be called a snake
Board man gets paid	Kawhi Leonard's bizarre trash talking from his days of college gained notoriety in the 2019 NBA playoffs, and now since he won Finals MVP that mantra has stuck alongside his bizarre laugh at his press conference in Toronto and "What it do baby?"
Please notice us	The Utah Jazz made some good moves in the offseason, please talk about them.
The shot of death	Damian Lillard's buzzer beater was so strong it literally made the Oklahoma City Thunder dismantle their team
Swept in 5	The gentleman's sweep.
Big Clearance Brand	Remember when those ZO2's people paid over $500 to get? They were being sold off as a $100 combo alongside shirts, hoodies and socks at a volleyball tournament. Cash only please
Anyone want Wiggins?	He still has enough upside! Only a first round pick all we ask! Please help us move his contract.
Dälläs Mävs	The Dallas Mavericks have seen well enough into the future that in 5 years their roster will be entirely European. They WILL take all of those tall lanky guys that can shoot 3s.
Fultz's shooting	He has the yips?! This guy was a consensus #1 pick! The Sixers quickly gave up on him after less than two years. Well on his way to becoming the next biggest bust since Anthony Bennett.
Damn the process	All those assets Sam Hinkie got? Don't mind them if Elton Brand uses them to acquire a one year rental of Jimmy Butler, Tobias Harris on a max and the guy with the yips Markelle Fultz. All of this for a second round exit.
Dwight Howard (glute) out	Apparently Dwight Howard needs to work on his rim protection
Multiple Sources	Chris Broussard's infamous sources were put on to show throughout the entire Kawhi saga, turns out he was just quoting "Reddit insiders" like Arye Abraham and RDAmbition. Remember guys: Kawhi has a 95% chance of going to the Lakers barring a change of heart.
Meme Player	Reminder that Steph Curry still has 0 Finals MVP and is invisible when it matters.
It's easy, it's me	Paul Pierce was flamed to hell and back for having the audacity of saying that he had a better career than Dwyane Wade. One of his most infamous moments as a pundit for ESPN. He should watch out as Ryan Hollins is gunning for his spot.
I'm not gon' be here	Magic Johnson decided to stop being an "executive" for the Los Angeles Lakers in order to shitpost on Twitter.
Jared Dudley sweepstakes	The Lakers didn't land Kawhi? That's not a problem! They signed Jared Dudley, Avery Bradley, the corpse of Boogie Cousins, Rajon Rondo and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. Their bench is definitely stacked!!
Eric jr	That is a normal collar. Move on, find a new slant.

Match history

"Official" matches

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers	Notes
14 Decemeber 2015	/4ccg/	Outlel Bowl	1-0 L		Blatant sternball tbqh
16 Decemeber 2015	/irc/	Outlel Bowl	5-2 W	Wet Ass Jumper  16', 64' Swept in 5  45'+1', 61' One Legged Fadeaway  90'+4'
16 Decemeber 2015	/sbg/	Outlel Bowl	2-3 W	Le Spicy Dish Man  6', 10' Swept in 5  27'
21 Decemeber 2015	Neo-/ag/	Outlel Bowl	4-3 L	Hot Sauce  50', 54' Practice  81'	Rigged worse than the Sacramento Kings in the 2002 WCF
21 Decemeber 2015	/ag/	Outlel Bowl	6-5 L	Swept in 5  6', 45+1', 90'+7', 117' Z-Bo  53' Meme Player  100'	THIRD PLACE TROPHY IS OURS NIGGAS
3 July 2016	/jojo/	/ag/ League 1	2-1 W	Hot Sauce' (32)  Wet Ass Jumper' (71)
6 July 2016	/metallurgy/	/ag/ League 1	0-3 L
8 July 2016	/mtg/	/ag/ League 1	2-3 L	Career-Ending Injury  28' Hot Sauce  82'
27 August 2017	/trb/	/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder	1-1 D	90+2' >craptors
28 August 2017	/mild/	/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder	3-1 W	5' Career-Ending Injury  13' FUCK KEVIN DURANT  73' Swept in 5
1 September 2017	/drw/	/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder	1-2 L	77' >craptors
2 September 2017	/ita/	/ag/ League 2: Autism Harder	2-4 L	75' Jon Wol Is SHOOK  78' Swept In 5
7 July 2018	/cbj/	/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition	3-4 L	Fuck Kevin Durant  48' Swept in 5  54' >Westbrick  84'
8 July 2018	/mls+ayy/	/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition	7-5 W	>Westbrick  18' LeBron needs help  37' Swept in 5  44', 88' Career-Ending Injury  53' Fuck Kevin Durant  82', 90+2'	No player was rated higher than 6.5
14 July 2018	/fhg/	/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition	2-0 W	>Westbrick  6' SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP  86'	First shutout in /nba/ history
20 July 2018	/snes/	/ag/ League 3: Dancing Anime Girls Edition	3-4 L	Fuck Kevin Durant  10', 30' Eric jr  49'
31 August 2019	/nhl/	/ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl	1-3 L	Fuck Kevin Durant  90+5'
1 September 2019	/lwa/	/ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl	7-1 W	I'm not gon' be here  5', 24' Sell the team, Dolan  57' Damn the Process  68' Fuck Kevin Durant  78', 85' Swept in 5  83'	Biggest win in /nba/ history
7 September 2019	/fhg/	/ag/ League and Feed 4: Formerly Fake Team Bowl	3-4 L	Damn the Process  7', 25' Swept in 5  57'	>blowing a 3-1 lead on a must win game >Steph Curry when the game matters
21 September 2019	/nfl/	/sp/erb Owl 2019*	3-1 W	Swept in 5  42', 76', 89'

"Unofficial" matches

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers	Notes
17 June 2016	/toon/	Rigging After Dark	1-4 L	Swept in 5  5'	Blatant sternball tbqh
19 June 2016-	/epl/	Rigging After Dark	4-4 W (4-3 Penalties)	Swept in 5  7', 30' Hot Sauce  26' Career-Ending Injury  75'
21 June 2016	/fhg/	Rigging After Dark	2-2 L (5-4 pens)	Swept in 5  17' Career-Ending Injury  37'
2 July 2017	/trash/	Home Run Derby	21-0 W	Swept in 5  8', 26', 68' Fuck Kevin Durant  12', 29' >Westbrick  21', 62' SKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEUP  31', 34', 38', 80' >Craptors  36', 40', 42', 76', 88' Jon Wol is SHOOK  52' Stay in Yo Lane  71', 81', 83' Where in the world is Derrick Rose?  90+5'
1 July 2018	/trash/	Home Run Derby	15-0 W	Swept In 5  2', 26', 37', 70', 78' Jon Wol Is Shook  8', 24' Fuck Kevin Durant  9', 19', 34', 45+0', 60', 64' Career Ending Injury  29' Eric jr  86'	Back to back, baby

Exports

Tactical export: curated by John Beilein
Music export: BRON'S GONNA TRADE YOU
Aesthetics export: City edition not included