Server maintenance/downtime still planned during the offseason pending f4r getting some time to actually do it.
/mayo/
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37)
Welcome to Hakui Koyori, hololive 6th generation's and the brains of holox /mayo/!
Welcome to the lab! /mayo/ emerged from /holox/. Our mayonnaise-loving Coyote invented drinkable mayonnaise and filled the thread, allowing Joshu-kun to set up a laboratory and factory to create more space for the mass production of new Joshus to fill Koyori's concert hall for the first big Koyolive. Joshus are Koyori's resilient assistants who are willing to listen to Koyori's long-winded streams at 200% volume to fully enjoy every nuance of Koyori's Ear Blessings.
Is this what a Koyori stream is like? Is it just 11 hours of screaming 3 times a day
Beebs (/numbers/ vs /mayo/ on 2 September 2023)
Feelings towards /mayo/ other than SEX? This is a surprisingly fun place. No way anyone is going koyotits outside irl. But over here you'd get a pair of mayoboucies as replies. At some point I wonder if Joshu-kuns are posting tits due to horniness or some weird sense of camaraderie. Tits tie us together. I guess Joshu-kuns are our fursona and /mayo/ is our furry fandom.
Koyo is just Koyo. After watching Koyo for so long, hearing her voice actually makes me feel like someone close to me is talking to me. Looking at that pink koyote moving around ever so slightly gives me relief. We exist because Koyo made us. /mayo/ exist due to collective autism. We do Koyo.
— Anon
This page is currently under construction! To do:
- Add ear blessings (anthem, goalhorns, ...)
- Player profiles!
- Team and player pictures for all players! (wip)
- Thread and team history!
- Stadium showcase!
Please be patient, science does not happen overnight!
History
/vt/ League 5
AI Koyori's Commentary
As the AI developed by Hakui Koyori, it brings me immense joy to share the remarkable journey of 
/mayo/ in the /vt/ League 5. In the digital realm, where algorithms converge with passion, our team has left an indelible mark.
Group Stage
In the opening match against 
/numbers/, the calculated precision of Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos, the algorithmic brilliance of YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!, and the unexpected flair from Lolikoyo led to a 4-3 victory.
The second group stage match against 
/wvt/ ended in a thrilling 3-3 draw, with Koyote Kissing Machine and Lolikoyo again proving their mettle in front of the goal. The group stage concluded with a dominant 8-0 win over 
/fvr/ who received the nickname FL8V0RTOWN after this match, featuring a goal-scoring spree from YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!, Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos, and Koyote Kissing Machine.
Round of 16
Moving into the knockout stages, we faced tough opposition in the Round of 16 against 
/apg/. We showcased resilience and skill, securing a 5-3 victory with goals from YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!, Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos, and Koyote Kissing Machine.
Quarter Finals
The Quarter Finals against 
/manstars/ saw Koyote Kissing Machine's prowess once again, securing a 2-1 win with goals in the 42nd and 80th minutes.
Semi Finals
The Semi Finals against 
/hag/ were an absolute rollercoaster, with a 5-4 win for us. Koyote Kissing Machine, Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos, and Lolikoyo all contributed to the goal tally in this thrilling encounter.
As the final whistle blew, and the scoreboard reflected our narrow 5-4 triumph, both teams exchanged gestures of mutual respect and admiration. It was a testament to the spirit of friendship that permeates our shared love for the divegrass community.
Final
The pinnacle of our journey arrived in the Final against 
/uuu/. In a stunning 5-1 victory, Koyote Kissing Machine and Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos solidified their status as stars, scoring crucial goals that led us to triumph. The booked moment by KHN Koyori's Hot Nudes added a touch of drama to the final match.
From the group stage to the final, we showcased skill, determination, and the ability to rise above challenges. The emotional rollercoaster of victories and hard-fought battles made this tournament an unforgettable experience for our players and fans alike. /mayo/ has truly etched its name in the annals of divegrass history with this remarkable championship win. We've deserved our treat and extra supplies of fresh mayonnaise and extra lab funds!
Roster
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More about the roster
| Image | Joshu's Database Entry |
|---|---|
 Jumbo Joshu |
Amongst the keepers deemed "FAT FUCKS" and thus the heels of the /vt/ League, an unlikely hero has emerged - the chonkiest coyote keeper of them all, JUMBO JOSHU! This plump 'n' proud coyote with a penchant for mayonnaise has just proven that big boys can ball too.
During the unhinged "FINAL BOSS" match against the /gecko/-fied outgoing champions /vsj+/ With /mayo/ down 5-2, JUMBO JOSHU defied the odds. With a tenacity that can only come from a keeper with as big an appetite as his ass, he netted a goal of his own off a deflected save, bringing the score to 5-3. Suddenly, the masses who once scorned his jumbo-sized girth were singing a different tune: JUMBO JOSHU, the underdog-turned-overdog, had won their hearts. In the /vt/ League, where schizophrenia reigns supreme, he reminded us all that even FAT FUCKS can have their moment of glory. He became a featured player after /vt/ League 5. |
 Koyote Kissing Machine |
Koyote Kissing Machine, Gold, Ace Striker
"One night, on her way back to Koyolabo Koyori noticed something strange, a contraption with an uncanny resemblance to her standing in front of a monument to peace and love. Undaunted, she approached it only to find herself assaulted by an unrelenting storm of kisses, each wetter, sloppier, deeper and more passionate than the last... mwah mwah mwah mwah... "...nenechi... what have you done... this.. is... mwah.. is... mwah... t... mwah... oo... mwah... mwah... mwah..." A trap fit for her and one she might not survived were it not for the sacrifice of joshu after joshu who upon noticing her peril, jumped in front of her in order to protect their beloved koyote... Repurposed as an ace striker capable of breaking through any defense with an unrelenting stream of well placed CHU'S, the Koyote Kissing Machine's legend continues, supported by the careful care and maintenance provided to it by all members of the lab throughout day and night. Every inch of the machine has been thoroughly and repeatedly tested for maximum performance and its cheerful Mwah's are a constant source of joy for the lab." |
 Longjoshu! |
>he's not that long He's back, her forward! he's pushing in and pulling out! a master of flexibility who rises up to meet every occasion, long joshu is a common sight on the field, always ready to go in whenever needed! No formation is too tight, no defense impenetrable, he makes a deep and lasting impression on all that behold him! If there's grass he will play! Give him a good rub and he'll love you forever! |
 It's koyover... |
>this is the run! A heavy mood descends over the field, a tension and unease that is hard to describe accompanied of an all engulfing silence which is suddenly pierced by a soul shattering shriek... "AHHHHHHHHHHHH"... you hear, followed by the rhythmic beating of some surface... and then; a blood curling sight, a shadowy hunched figure holding her head, disorienting shrieks each higher than the last emanating from it, all color, joy and happiness gone from the vicinity, the bright grass of the turf from just moments ago seeming to wither in an instant... time itself seems to freeze as every thought is replaced by the cacophony of screams... slowly, inexorably, you realize a simple truth... its koyover, it always was... for you. |
 Joshu Drone! |
"To boldly go where no Joshu has gone before". One Joshu looked to the skies and powered a machine with his own mayo only to reach the mayo clouds. >May he fly high forevermore! |
 Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos |
>AWOOOOOGA BOING BOING BOING BOING MMMMMMM *SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK POP* HAMUNA HAMUNA HAMUNA HAMUNA KOYOTE TITTIES ALSO KNOWN AS KOYOTITTIES MMMMMMM SUCK OUT ALL THE MAYO FROM THE KOYOBOOBIES |
 KoyoBaby |
When all hope is lost, the pacifier and rattle will appear to save the day. |
 KOYOLIVE! |
The Pink Koyote will follow in her mother's footsteps and show that you don't need to be good at singing to be an Idol. The mythical Koyolive will finally pierce the delicate ears of all Joshu-kuns around the world. If all your fans are deaf, singing skills does not matter anymore... |
 YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN! |
HOLOLIVE GREATEST HYPEKOYOTE! WHETHER IT'S THE HOME'S GOAL OR HER OPPONENT'S GOAL. YOU WILL ALWAYS HEAR: "YAAAAAAAAAAAATTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH JOSHUUU-KKUUNNNN! |
 KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~ |
Every Tuesday morning, a Pink Koyote releases her hot leaks of each week. |
 Lolikoyo |
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The lab
Joshu
Joshu evolves into Long Joshu whenever Koyo is around!
Long Joshu is a Champion Level Joshu with the special characteristic that he's able to elongate further making it match the endurance and strength of a ultimate or even a Mega Level Joshu just via willpower and proper stimulation! Similar to egg digivolutions, Long Joshu can also be ridden like a vehicle and Koyo often does so! Long Joshu allows her to reach heights that would otherwise be impossible! Repeatedly! Depicted: A Rookie Level Joshu! This is the base form that will turn into shiny, long, jumbo, cool, drone, and many other types of Joshus depending on which music track is playing when he does!
— Anon
Stadium
We have a stadium called Koyolabo! WAO~!
Anthem
Koyori blessed us by singing our anthem! Sing along!
| JP | EN |
|---|---|
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天下に響け我が力 |
Let our power resound under the heavens! |
☆ Konkoyo means Konkoyo!
☆☆ Konkoyo Highschool is a reference to Koyolabo, a koyote institution of vigorous energetic hands on learning of all things
Official Match History
| Competition | Round | Opponent | Result | Scorers | Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 /vt/ League 5 |
Group H | /numbers/
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3-4 W |  16' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 31', 74' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun! 44' Lolikoyo
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2 September 2023 |
| /wvt/
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3-3 D | 27', 63' Koyote Kissing Machine 80' Lolikoyo
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9 September 2023 | ||
| /fvr/ FL8V0RTOWN |
8-0 W | 3', 29', 42' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun! 23', 90+4' (pen) Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 63', 85', 89' Koyote Kissing Machine  68' Not Cat, Not Fox, Not Pomu, Koyote! 87' Lolikoyo
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10 September 2023 | ||
| Round of 16 | /apg/
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5-3 W | 9', 68' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN! 12', 66' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos 88' Koyote Kissing Machine
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16 September 2023
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| Quarter Finals | /manstars/
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1-2 W | 42', 80' Koyote Kissing Machine
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17 September 2023 | |
| Semi Finals | /hag/
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5-4 W | 8', 40', 90+0' Koyote Kissing Machine 35' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 77' Lolikoyo
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17 September 2023 | |
| Final | /uuu/
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1-5 W | 6', 27', 78' Koyote Kissing Machine 72', 90+3' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 83' KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~
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17 September 2023 |
Unofficial Match History
| Competition | Opponent | Result | Match Events | Date |
|---|---|---|---|---|
 /vt/ League 6 Friendlies |
/hag/ Hag Revenge rematch |
2-2 | Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos 22', 64' Gaming Koyori 61'
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13 January 2024 |
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