/poland/

/Poland/
Bastion of Christianity
/Poland/ - Polan
Founded 966 AD Manager Piast Owner The Sovereign State of Poland IRL manager Suule !!/bQ+kfA6ObJ Team colors Chat color FFFFFF Pure White Top scorer Kazimierz the Great (16) Top assister Geralt (4) Captain Kazimierz the Great Website /Poland/ - Polan Nickname Pollacks, Kurwas
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 9 5 6 20 45%
GF GA GD 38 34 +4
Biggest win /poland/  6–0  /br/ September 9, 2017 Biggest defeat /poland/  1–4  /tsab/ September 10, 2017 First match /csa/  2–2  /poland/ September 1 2016
Team music
Anthem Bogurodzica Victory anthem Civilization V - Casmir Peace (Bóg się Rodzi) Goal horn Koko Koko Euro Spoko
Kits
Home kit Away kit Goalkeeper kit Third kit

Introduction

Glorious Nation of Poland is here to liberate everyone from the Germano-Soviet-Russo-Swede-Turk-Ukranian menace... and play memetic divegrass.

History so far

The team was introduced as a newcomer for Multinational Bowl 2 with a greenhorn manager and a new export. It topped Group A of the Multinationals with 7 points starting by scoring 1 draw against former Multinational Bowl champions -  /csa/, and then winning 2 games one against another newcomer -  /hvn/ and one against former 2nd place defender  /ne/.

The RO16 of the bowl ended in a big blowout of  /br/ of 6 to 0. The Pokeballbowl that followed against  /hoenn/ was a match to the death until the penalties that went on to 10. With Wahahahah! of  /hoenn/ missing his shot and securing the road to the semifinal.

Semi-Finals ended with a loss of 1-2 to  /mn/ after a fierce fight. It seems that the team was already pleased with themselves and before they could gain momentum the match was over. The 3rd place match ended in the team's first major loss 1-4 to  /tsab/, securing the 4th place in the Multinational Bowl 2. Despite the loss the team was happy - they proved themselves as a good team, they thanked everyone and went to Geralt's place at Corvo Bianco to feast and remember a time well spent.

As /poland/ is getting ready for the Multinats III, there were some changes to the roster. The new ruleset was tough on the team and such stars as Ja Pierdole quit. The primary GK Bastion of the West has also quit citing "Family issues". This made way two new star players: >LELWandowski and Remember Smolensk.

Out of nowhere,  /poland/ entered Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV, causing great trouble for the host as the ancient Slavic runes confused him to the point that he started babbling in tounges each time he saw a Polish player playing the ball. The competition started with  /poland/ beating  /italypol/ after an even game. In quaterfinals they met  /creepy/, but the homeland of Darkwoods quickly put the Creepypasters in their place securing an easy victory.  /umvc3/ was a different can of beans - the fight was long and hard, as two sides were more than evenly match. And much to the audience's delight, it was a nail-biter from start to the finish. aith a cheeky 90+++++  /umvc3/ kicked the match into Benuldies. A blunder by Geralt cause  /poland/ not to pass forward into finals but instead had to settle for the 3rd place match. 3rd place match was little slow in the start but after drawing 1-1, it was again time for Benuldies and this time, the enemy team made a mistake, giving  /poland/ the most important award - the fabled third place trophy.

Not like it mattered, but at least Iron Sheik screamed at Polish team a lot.

Multinational Bowl 3 is soon... and  /poland/ is lurking there waiting.

Exports

Team: As Invitational 17
Aesthetics: Excludes stadium
Other: Music in Rigdio format

Players

No. Position Player 25   GK Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski 95   LB 100% Catholic 76   CB Space Program 99   CB Polish Immigrant 10   CB Remember Smoleńsk 5   RB "The Father" Rydzyk 90   DMF "GROM" 96   CMF Makumba 2   AMF Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz 3   SS Geralt 8   CF Kazimierz the Great

No. Position Player 20   GK Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudzki 0   LB Polski Thread 40   CB 19 Promils 48   CB > Ukraine Polish Clay 20   CB Eastern Poland 77   RB PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY 49   RMF Fryderyk Chopin 83   RMF Winged Hussar 13   DMF 13-Year old with neostrada 26   DMF Sino-Polish War 88   LMF Ja Pierdole 6   LMF Izaak Rosenberg

Career Goals

Player	Goals
Kazimierz the Great	16
Zdzisław Brzęczysczykiewicz	13
Geralt	7
O Kurwa	2
Makumba	1
Fredryk Chopin	1
Ja Pierdole	1
GROM	1

Career Assists

Player	Assists
Geralt	4
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz	3
Kazimierz the Great	2
Winged Hussar	2
Ja Pierdole	1
O Kurwa	1
Fryderyk Chopin	1

Team Photo

Best Lineup
Starting from the upper left:
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski, >>Ukraine Polish Clay, Makumba, Ja Pierdole, 19 Promils, Kazimierz the Great
100% Catholic, "The Father" Rydzyk, Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz, Winged Hussar, Geralt

Roster Description

Player	Polish Lesson of the Day/Cheat Sheet
Kazimierz The Great	Basically best Polish King ever - built the foundation for the Polish Golden age by building cities, castles and alliances, also married 3 times and died childless.
Geralt	From the Polish book series, turned film, turned TV series, turned video game, turned TV series. Sexy as fuck, morally grey and gets all the girls. Also slays monsters. Polish best export next to this team and vodka.
Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz	One of the names that confuses German spies, custom officers and government officials. It does exist IRL.
Makumba	Polish black man. In the 90s he was brought to everybody's attention with a catchy punk reggae song. Poland has a shitton of black people in the cities. They just don't go around blowing stuff up and slicing people apart.
O Kurwa	Polish callsign. Kurwa has variety of uses as it can be transformed into a verb, adjective or stay a noun, which usually is a derogatory name for a prostitute.
Remember Smoleńsk	Basically the Piss Party's myth of how Russians killed 6 billion of the brightest and smartest Poles in a plane crash using helium-induced fog, a planted nuclear bomb and SAM missiles. Poo party of course opposes this and pretends nothing happened. Polish politics are amazing.
"The Father" Rydzyk	Polish priest that is de-facto leader of Polish church and a major political figure due to the amount of money he amassed, TV he is running, radio he is running, school he is running... in US terms - Televangelist/lobbyist with ties to government. Shits on the Pope constantly no matter who's the Pope.
Polish Immigrant	Source of Polish Jokes. For years the immigrants were dumb idiots or criminals that the communist country sent off everywhere to get rid of them in the countries. Smart people were kept inside so they wouldn't dissent. Right now you get as many smart immigrants as the dumb ones.
Polish Space Program	Despite the meme, we have one cosmonaut - Hermaszewski and supplies European Space Agency with a shitton of sensors for the satellites.
100% Catholic	In every census Poland is deemed 99%-100% Catholic despite there being a large Orthodox minority, some Muslims, a good deal of Buddhists (Thanks Vietnam) and of course Protestants. It's also an excuse why Polish Catholic Church has a lot of power here. BTW: 4 centuries ago Catholics were a minority.
Bastion of the West	We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart.
Jan III "Roach Slayer" Sobieski	Last of the great Polish kings. Known for being the best Roach exterminator and inspiration for every Serb out there.
Józef "Commie Crusher" Piłsudski	A socialist terrorist, turned general, turned marshall, turned politcian, turned de-facto head of state. He hated commies so hard he has beaten them so hard in 1920, Europe was safe for 19 years.
Polish Thread	On 4chan the amount of Polish shitposting is high - best observed on /b/, /v/, /int/ and especially /mlp/.
19 Promils	Polish people like Russians can withstand large quantities of alcohol. The one record is a schoolkid that had 19 promils ( 1.9% alcohol content in blood ) and still survived. Usually normal Europeans can withstand 4.5 promils, which is 0.45% alcohol content in blood.
>> Ukraine Polish Clay	Ukraine despite being Ruthenia/Rus back in a day got turned into what was a Polish colony. They are still butthurt about that. But after Russians are kicking their ass, they might've been better off with us.
Fryderyk Chopin	Japanese people love our pianist. To the point they make video games with them. Seriously.
Winged Hussar	Polish Cavalry tradition = best. And yes it has a specific goalhorn. THAT ONE.
13-year old with Neostrada	Our version of AOL kids. And source of endless webms.
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY	Once again CD Projekt Red makes up for 50% of Polish GDP, the other 50% is Vodka manufacture
Eastern Poland	Post-communist shithole full of Rednecks. Who the fuck would invest THERE?
GROM	This formation makes /k/ wet. Our (((Secret))) Export. Currently fucked over by the current government.
Sino-Polish War	One day Poland will absorb Russia and we will border China... who we will fight.
Izaak Rosenberg	Everyone in the upper echelons of Polish government is a Jew... or Hungarian. Also about half of Polish dishes are of Jewish origins. Who do we kid. We're Israel v2.0.
RETIRED PLAYERS
Bastion of the West	We saved Europe in ...1683, 1920, 1940, 1944, 1989... basically what Germany tries to do we thwart.
Ja Pierdole	Another callsign. Pierdole like Kurwa is a word that can be used in variety of ways either as a noun, verb or adjective. It means "Fucking."
>>LELWandowski	Couldn't carry the team through the world cup now could he.

Match History

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers
September 1, 2017	/csa/	Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage	2-2 D	Kazimierz the Great  25' Makumba  84'
September 2, 2017	/hvn/	Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage	4-2 W	Kazimierz the Great  4' Ja Pierdole  23' Geralt  35' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  79'
September 3, 2017	/ne/	Multinational Bowl 2 Group Stage	3-1 W	Kazimierz the Great  23' Kazimierz the Great  78' Kazimierz the Great  82'
September 9, 2017	/br/	Multinational Bowl 2 Round of 16	6-0 W	Geralt  32' O Kurwa  76' Kazimierz the Great  86' Kazimierz the Great  88' Kazimierz the Great  90+1' O Kurwa  90+4'
September 10, 2017	/hoenn/	Multinational Bowl 2 Quarter-Finals	0-0 W (PK 10-9)
September 10, 2017	/mn/	Multinational Bowl 2 Semi-Finals	1-2 L	Geralt  48'
September 10, 2017	/tsab/	Multinational Bowl 2 3rd Place Match	1-4 L	Kazimierz the Great 3'
July 3, 2018	/italypol/	Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV Round of 16	3-2 W	Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  40' Geralt  57' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  75'
July 5, 2018	/creepy/	Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV Quater-Finals	2-1 W	Kazimierz the Great  25' Fredryk Chopin  30'
July 5, 2018	/umvc3/	Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV Semi-Finals	4-4 L (PK 4-5)	Kazimierz the Great  40' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  49' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  54' Geralt  56'
July 5, 2018	/bw/	Fakkin Boolsheet Series IV 3rd Place match	1-1 W (PK 5-4)	Geralt  54'
August 24, 2018	/punic/	Multinational Bowl 3 Group Stage	1-4 L	Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  74'
August 26, 2018	/br/	Multinational Bowl 3 Group Stage	0-2 L
August 31, 2018	/sinnoh/	Multinational Bowl 3 Group Stage	4-2 W	Kazimierz the Great  42' Kazimierz the Great  47' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  83' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  89'
August 31, 2018	/ex-yu/	Multinational Bowl 3 Round of 16	2-3 L	Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  30' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  60'
December 17, 2018	/alloys/	Divegrass Before Christmas Group Stage	3-3 D	Kazimierz the Great  56' Kazimierz the Great  76' Zdzisław Brzęczyszczykiewicz  84'
December 17, 2018	/dangeru/	Divegrass Before Christmas Group Stage	0-0 D
December 17, 2018	/cbj/	Divegrass Before Christmas Group Stage	1-1 D	Polski Thread 45+2'