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/mayo/

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Revision as of 20:19, 9 October 2023 by Joshu-Unit (talk | contribs) (Added Longjoshu!)
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/mayo/
mayo is a drink
Mayo logo.png
/mayo/ - mayo
Founded July 31 2023
Caretaker joshukun
IRL manager Managerless
Team colors
Chat color #FFACD3
Koyote Pink
Ranking 3 (increase 37)
Highest rank 3 (17 September 2023)
Lowest rank 3 (17 September 2023)
Top scorer Koyote Kissing Machine (14)
Top assister Koyote Kissing Machine (7)
Captain Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos
Website /mayo/ - mayo
Nickname '
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
6 1 0 7 85.71%
GF GA GD
32 15 +17
Biggest win
/mayo/ Mayo icon.png 8–0 Fvr icon.png /fvr/
10 September 2023
Biggest defeat
TBD TBD icon.png TBD icon.png TBD
First match
/numbers/ Numbers icon.png 3–4 Mayo icon.png /mayo/
2 September 2023
/vt/ League
Appearances 1 (First in /vt/ League 5)
Best result 1st, /vt/ League 5 VTLeague5 Logo.png
Team music
Anthem [// ]

Goal horn [// ]
Kits



Welcome to Hakui Koyori, hololive 6th generation's and the brains of holox /mayo/!

Welcome to the lab! /mayo/ emerged from /holox/. Our mayonnaise-loving Coyote invented drinkable mayonnaise and filled the thread, allowing Joshu-kun to set up a laboratory and factory to create more space for the mass production of new Joshus to fill Koyori's concert hall for the first big Koyolive. Joshus are Koyori's resilient assistants who are willing to listen to Koyori's long-winded streams at 200% volume to fully enjoy every nuance of Koyori's Ear Blessings.

Is this what a Koyori stream is like? Is it just 11 hours of screaming 3 times a day Beebs (/numbers/ vs /mayo/ on 2 September 2023)

Feelings towards /mayo/ other than SEX? This is a surprisingly fun place. No way anyone is going koyotits outside irl. But over here you'd get a pair of mayoboucies as replies. At some point I wonder if Joshu-kuns are posting tits due to horniness or some weird sense of camaraderie. Tits tie us together. I guess Joshu-kuns are our fursona and /mayo/ is our furry fandom.

Koyo is just Koyo. After watching Koyo for so long, hearing her voice actually makes me feel like someone close to me is talking to me. Looking at that pink koyote moving around ever so slightly gives me relief. We exist because Koyo made us. /mayo/ exist due to collective autism. We do Koyo.

Anon

This page is currently under construction! To do:

  • Add ear blessings (anthem, goalhorns, ...)
  • Player profiles!
  • Team and player pictures for all players! (missing joshumin, koyolive, sukebeinu, good koyo, holodogs, mayo squirt, ak koyote, khn koyoris hot nudes, koyobaby, longjoshu)
  • Thread and team history!
  • Stadium showcase!

Please be patient, science does not happen overnight!

History

Roster

Mayo-rooster.jpg

No. Position Player
28
GK
Jumbojoshu
14
RB
It's koyover...
4
CB
Longjoshu!
5
CB
Sukebeinu
3
LB
Not cat, not fox, not Pomu, Koyote!
22
DMF
joshudrone
16
CMF
Gaming Koyori
9
AMF
lolikoyo
7
SS
Koyote Kissing Machine
10
SS
YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!
89
CF
Big Bouncy KonkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyosCaptain
No. Position Player
01
GK
891546
13
RB
Ringmaster Joshu
54
RB
Holodogs
11
RB
Good koyo!
30
CB
recharge time
8
CB
KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~
77
CB
KOYOLIVE!
99
LB
joshumin
15
LB
Shiny Joshu
21
LB
Koyobaby
20
DMF
Mayo Squirt
47
DMF
AK Koyote

More about the roster

Image Joshu's Database Entry
Jumbo Joshu
Jumbo Joshu
Amongst the keepers deemed "FAT FUCKS" and thus the heels of the /vt/ League, an unlikely hero has emerged - the chonkiest coyote keeper of them all, JUMBO JOSHU! This plump 'n' proud coyote with a penchant for mayonnaise has just proven that big boys can ball too.

During the unhinged "FINAL BOSS" match against the /gecko/-fied outgoing champions /vsj+/ Vsj+ icon.png, our fearless net-minder got the surprise of his (probably mayo-drenched) life. The riggers unshackled him from his goalpost prison and catapulted him onto the pitch as a CENTRE FORWARD.

With /mayo/ down 5-2, JUMBO JOSHU defied the odds. With a tenacity that can only come from a keeper with as big an appetite as his ass, he netted a goal of his own off a deflected save, bringing the score to 5-3.

Suddenly, the masses who once scorned his jumbo-sized girth were singing a different tune: JUMBO JOSHU, the underdog-turned-overdog, had won their hearts. In the /vt/ League, where schizophrenia reigns supreme, he reminded us all that even FAT FUCKS can have their moment of glory.

He became a featured player after /vt/ League 5.

Jumbo Joshu unleashed

Koyote Kissing Machine
Koyote Kissing Machine
Koyote Kissing Machine, Gold, Ace Striker

"One night, on her way back to Koyolabo Koyori noticed something strange, a contraption with an uncanny resemblance to her standing in front of a monument to peace and love. Undaunted, she approached it only to find herself assaulted by an unrelenting storm of kisses, each wetter, sloppier, deeper and more passionate than the last... mwah mwah mwah mwah... "...nenechi... what have you done... this.. is... mwah.. is... mwah... t... mwah... oo... mwah... mwah... mwah..."

A trap fit for her and one she might not survived were it not for the sacrifice of joshu after joshu who upon noticing her peril, jumped in front of her in order to protect their beloved koyote... Repurposed as an ace striker capable of breaking through any defense with an unrelenting stream of well placed CHU'S, the Koyote Kissing Machine's legend continues, supported by the careful care and maintenance provided to it by all members of the lab throughout day and night. Every inch of the machine has been thoroughly and repeatedly tested for maximum performance and its cheerful Mwah's are a constant source of joy for the lab."

Koyori reacting to Koyote Kissing Machine

Longjoshu
Longjoshu!

>he's not that long
-Beebs, clenching his fist
>o..oh god... c..can i touch it...? ...p ..please...?
-lab visitor

He's back, her forward! he's pushing in and pulling out! a master of flexibility who rises up to meed every occasion, long joshu is a common sight on the field, always ready to go in whenever needed!

No formation is too tight, no defense impenetrable, he makes a deep and lasting impression on all that behold him!

Give him a good rub and he'll love you forever!

Official Match History

Competition Round Opponent Result Scorers Date
VTLeague5 Logo.png
/vt/ League 5
Group H Numbers icon.png /numbers/ 3-4 W Goal 16' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 31'74' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!
Goal 44' Lolikoyo
2 September 2023
Wvt icon.png /wvt/ 3-3 D Goal 27'63' Koyote Kissing Machine
Goal 80' Lolikoyo
9 September 2023
Fvr icon.png /fvr/
FL8V0RTOWN
8-0 W Goal 3'29'42' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!
Goal 23'90+4' (pen) Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 63'85'89' Koyote Kissing Machine
Booked 68' Not Cat, Not Fox, Not Pomu, Koyote!
Booked 87' Lolikoyo
10 September 2023
Round of 16 Apg icon.png /apg/ 5-3 W Goal 9'68' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!
Goal 12'66' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 88' Koyote Kissing Machine
16 September 2023


Quarter Finals Manstars icon.png /manstars/ 1-2 W Goal 42'80' Koyote Kissing Machine 17 September 2023
Semi Finals Hag icon.png /hag/ 5-4 W Goal 8'40'90+0' Koyote Kissing Machine
Goal 35' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 77' Lolikoyo
17 September 2023
Final Uuu icon.png /uuu/ 1-5 W Goal 6'27'78' Koyote Kissing Machine
Goal 72'90+3' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Booked 83' KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~
17 September 2023