Server maintenance/downtime still planned during the offseason pending f4r getting some time to actually do it.
/mayo/
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Welcome to Hakui Koyori, hololive 6th generation's and the brains of holox /mayo/!
Welcome to the lab! /mayo/ emerged from /holox/. Our mayonnaise-loving Coyote invented drinkable mayonnaise and filled the thread, allowing Joshu-kun to set up a laboratory and factory to create more space for the mass production of new Joshus to fill Koyori's concert hall for the first big Koyolive. Joshus are Koyori's resilient assistants who are willing to listen to Koyori's long-winded streams at 200% volume to fully enjoy every nuance of Koyori's Ear Blessings.
Is this what a Koyori stream is like? Is it just 11 hours of screaming 3 times a day
Beebs (/numbers/ vs /mayo/ on 2 September 2023)
Feelings towards /mayo/ other than SEX? This is a surprisingly fun place. No way anyone is going koyotits outside irl. But over here you'd get a pair of mayoboucies as replies. At some point I wonder if Joshu-kuns are posting tits due to horniness or some weird sense of camaraderie. Tits tie us together. I guess Joshu-kuns are our fursona and /mayo/ is our furry fandom.
Koyo is just Koyo. After watching Koyo for so long, hearing her voice actually makes me feel like someone close to me is talking to me. Looking at that pink koyote moving around ever so slightly gives me relief. We exist because Koyo made us. /mayo/ exist due to collective autism. We do Koyo.
— Anon
This page is currently under construction! To do:
- Add ear blessings (anthem, goalhorns, ...)
- Player profiles!
- Team and player pictures for all players! (missing joshumin, koyolive, sukebeinu, good koyo, holodogs, mayo squirt, ak koyote, khn koyoris hot nudes, koyobaby, longjoshu)
- Thread and team history!
- Stadium showcase!
Please be patient, science does not happen overnight!
History
Roster
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More about the roster
Image | Joshu's Database Entry |
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Jumbo Joshu |
Amongst the keepers deemed "FAT FUCKS" and thus the heels of the /vt/ League, an unlikely hero has emerged - the chonkiest coyote keeper of them all, JUMBO JOSHU! This plump 'n' proud coyote with a penchant for mayonnaise has just proven that big boys can ball too.
During the unhinged "FINAL BOSS" match against the /gecko/-fied outgoing champions /vsj+/ , our fearless net-minder got the surprise of his (probably mayo-drenched) life. The riggers unshackled him from his goalpost prison and catapulted him onto the pitch as a CENTRE FORWARD. With /mayo/ down 5-2, JUMBO JOSHU defied the odds. With a tenacity that can only come from a keeper with as big an appetite as his ass, he netted a goal of his own off a deflected save, bringing the score to 5-3. Suddenly, the masses who once scorned his jumbo-sized girth were singing a different tune: JUMBO JOSHU, the underdog-turned-overdog, had won their hearts. In the /vt/ League, where schizophrenia reigns supreme, he reminded us all that even FAT FUCKS can have their moment of glory. He became a featured player after /vt/ League 5. |
Koyote Kissing Machine |
Koyote Kissing Machine, Gold, Ace Striker
"One night, on her way back to Koyolabo Koyori noticed something strange, a contraption with an uncanny resemblance to her standing in front of a monument to peace and love. Undaunted, she approached it only to find herself assaulted by an unrelenting storm of kisses, each wetter, sloppier, deeper and more passionate than the last... mwah mwah mwah mwah... "...nenechi... what have you done... this.. is... mwah.. is... mwah... t... mwah... oo... mwah... mwah... mwah..." A trap fit for her and one she might not survived were it not for the sacrifice of joshu after joshu who upon noticing her peril, jumped in front of her in order to protect their beloved koyote... Repurposed as an ace striker capable of breaking through any defense with an unrelenting stream of well placed CHU'S, the Koyote Kissing Machine's legend continues, supported by the careful care and maintenance provided to it by all members of the lab throughout day and night. Every inch of the machine has been thoroughly and repeatedly tested for maximum performance and its cheerful Mwah's are a constant source of joy for the lab." |
Longjoshu! |
>he's not that long He's back, her forward! he's pushing in and pulling out! a master of flexibility who rises up to meed every occasion, long joshu is a common sight on the field, always ready to go in whenever needed! No formation is too tight, no defense impenetrable, he makes a deep and lasting impression on all that behold him! Give him a good rub and he'll love you forever! |
Official Match History
Competition | Round | Opponent | Result | Scorers | Date |
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/vt/ League 5 |
Group H | /numbers/ | 3-4 W | 16' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 31', 74' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun! 44' Lolikoyo |
2 September 2023 |
/wvt/ | 3-3 D | 27', 63' Koyote Kissing Machine 80' Lolikoyo |
9 September 2023 | ||
/fvr/ FL8V0RTOWN |
8-0 W | 3', 29', 42' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun! 23', 90+4' (pen) Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 63', 85', 89' Koyote Kissing Machine 68' Not Cat, Not Fox, Not Pomu, Koyote! 87' Lolikoyo |
10 September 2023 | ||
Round of 16 | /apg/ | 5-3 W | 9', 68' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN! 12', 66' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos 88' Koyote Kissing Machine |
16 September 2023
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Quarter Finals | /manstars/ | 1-2 W | 42', 80' Koyote Kissing Machine | 17 September 2023 | |
Semi Finals | /hag/ | 5-4 W | 8', 40', 90+0' Koyote Kissing Machine 35' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 77' Lolikoyo |
17 September 2023 | |
Final | /uuu/ | 1-5 W | 6', 27', 78' Koyote Kissing Machine 72', 90+3' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos 83' KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~ |
17 September 2023 |
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