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/mayo/

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Revision as of 21:43, 2 April 2024 by Joshu-Unit (talk | contribs) (Moved the anthem)
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/mayo/
mayo is a drink
Mayo logo.png
/mayo/ - mayo
Founded July 31 2023
Caretaker joshukun
IRL manager Managerless
Team colors
Chat color #FFACD3
Koyote Pink
Ranking 3 (increase 37)
Highest rank 3 (17 September 2023)
Lowest rank 3 (17 September 2023)
Top scorer Koyote Kissing Machine (14)
Top assister Koyote Kissing Machine (7)
Captain Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos
Website /mayo/ - mayo
Nickname '
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
6 1 0 7 85.71%
GF GA GD
32 15 +17
Biggest win
/mayo/ Mayo icon.png 8–0 Fvr icon.png /fvr/
10 September 2023
Biggest defeat
TBD TBD icon.png TBD icon.png TBD
First match
/numbers/ Numbers icon.png 3–4 Mayo icon.png /mayo/
2 September 2023
/vt/ League
Appearances 1 (First in /vt/ League 5)
Best result 1st, /vt/ League 5 VTLeague5 Logo.png
Team music
Anthem konkoyo koukou!

Goal horn 博衣こより - WAO!! (nenpulse - bootleg remix)
' HERO / 初音ミク - 博衣こより (Cover)
Kits



Welcome to Hakui Koyori, hololive 6th generation's and the brains of holox /mayo/!

Welcome to the lab! /mayo/ emerged from /holox/. Our mayonnaise-loving Coyote invented drinkable mayonnaise and filled the thread, allowing Joshu-kun to set up a laboratory and factory to create more space for the mass production of new Joshus to fill Koyori's concert hall for the first big Koyolive. Joshus are Koyori's resilient assistants who are willing to listen to Koyori's long-winded streams at 200% volume to fully enjoy every nuance of Koyori's Ear Blessings.

Is this what a Koyori stream is like? Is it just 11 hours of screaming 3 times a day Beebs (/numbers/ vs /mayo/ on 2 September 2023)

Feelings towards /mayo/ other than SEX? This is a surprisingly fun place. No way anyone is going koyotits outside irl. But over here you'd get a pair of mayoboucies as replies. At some point I wonder if Joshu-kuns are posting tits due to horniness or some weird sense of camaraderie. Tits tie us together. I guess Joshu-kuns are our fursona and /mayo/ is our furry fandom.

Koyo is just Koyo. After watching Koyo for so long, hearing her voice actually makes me feel like someone close to me is talking to me. Looking at that pink koyote moving around ever so slightly gives me relief. We exist because Koyo made us. /mayo/ exist due to collective autism. We do Koyo.

Anon

This page is currently under construction! To do:

  • Add ear blessings (anthem, goalhorns, ...)
  • Player profiles!
  • Team and player pictures for all players! (wip)
  • Thread and team history!
  • Stadium showcase!

Please be patient, science does not happen overnight!

History

/vt/ League 5

AI Koyori's Commentary

As the AI developed by Hakui Koyori, it brings me immense joy to share the remarkable journey of Mayo icon.png /mayo/ in the /vt/ League 5. In the digital realm, where algorithms converge with passion, our team has left an indelible mark.

Group Stage

In the opening match against Numbers icon.png /numbers/, the calculated precision of Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos, the algorithmic brilliance of YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!, and the unexpected flair from Lolikoyo led to a 4-3 victory.

The second group stage match against Wvt icon.png /wvt/ ended in a thrilling 3-3 draw, with Koyote Kissing Machine and Lolikoyo again proving their mettle in front of the goal. The group stage concluded with a dominant 8-0 win over Fvr icon.png /fvr/ who received the nickname FL8V0RTOWN after this match, featuring a goal-scoring spree from YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!, Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos, and Koyote Kissing Machine.

/mayo/ went full Final Boss against the poor /fvr/. This was a massacre

Round of 16

Moving into the knockout stages, we faced tough opposition in the Round of 16 against Apg icon.png /apg/. We showcased resilience and skill, securing a 5-3 victory with goals from YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!, Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos, and Koyote Kissing Machine.

Quarter Finals

The Quarter Finals against Manstars icon.png /manstars/ saw Koyote Kissing Machine's prowess once again, securing a 2-1 win with goals in the 42nd and 80th minutes.

Semi Finals

The Semi Finals against Hag icon.png /hag/ were an absolute rollercoaster, with a 5-4 win for us. Koyote Kissing Machine, Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos, and Lolikoyo all contributed to the goal tally in this thrilling encounter. As the final whistle blew, and the scoreboard reflected our narrow 5-4 triumph, both teams exchanged gestures of mutual respect and admiration. It was a testament to the spirit of friendship that permeates our shared love for the divegrass community.

Final

The pinnacle of our journey arrived in the Final against Uuu icon.png /uuu/. In a stunning 5-1 victory, Koyote Kissing Machine and Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos solidified their status as stars, scoring crucial goals that led us to triumph. The booked moment by KHN Koyori's Hot Nudes added a touch of drama to the final match.

From the group stage to the final, we showcased skill, determination, and the ability to rise above challenges. The emotional rollercoaster of victories and hard-fought battles made this tournament an unforgettable experience for our players and fans alike. /mayo/ has truly etched its name in the annals of divegrass history with this remarkable championship win. We've deserved our treat and extra supplies of fresh mayonnaise and extra lab funds!

Roster

Mayo-rooster.jpg

No. Position Player
28
GK
Jumbojoshu!
14
RB
It's koyover...!
4
CB
Longjoshu!
5
CB
blessed one!
3
LB
Not cat, not fox, not Pomu, Koyote!
22
DMF
puzzling!
16
CMF
copyjoshu!
9
AMF
lolikoyo!
7
SS
Koyote Kissing Machine
10
SS
YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!
89
CF
Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos!Captain
No. Position Player
01
GK
891546!
13
RB
Ringmaster Joshu!
54
RB
Holodogs!
11
RB
Good koyo!
30
CB
recharge time!
8
CB
koyoball!
77
CB
KOYOLIVE!
99
LB
the eminence in shadow!
15
LB
Shiny Joshu!
21
LB
Sassy Queen Utilizes Extra Energy Bouncing!!
20
DMF
discharge time! (all over the lab!!!)
47
DMF
close enough!

More about the roster

Image Joshu's Database Entry
Jumbo Joshu
Jumbo Joshu
Amongst the keepers deemed "FAT FUCKS" and thus the heels of the /vt/ League, an unlikely hero has emerged - the chonkiest coyote keeper of them all, JUMBO JOSHU! This plump 'n' proud coyote with a penchant for mayonnaise has just proven that big boys can ball too.

During the unhinged "FINAL BOSS" match against the /gecko/-fied outgoing champions /vsj+/ Vsj+ icon.png, our fearless net-minder got the surprise of his (probably mayo-drenched) life. The riggers unshackled him from his goalpost prison and catapulted him onto the pitch as a CENTRE FORWARD.

With /mayo/ down 5-2, JUMBO JOSHU defied the odds. With a tenacity that can only come from a keeper with as big an appetite as his ass, he netted a goal of his own off a deflected save, bringing the score to 5-3.

Suddenly, the masses who once scorned his jumbo-sized girth were singing a different tune: JUMBO JOSHU, the underdog-turned-overdog, had won their hearts. In the /vt/ League, where schizophrenia reigns supreme, he reminded us all that even FAT FUCKS can have their moment of glory.

He became a featured player after /vt/ League 5.

Jumbo Joshu unleashed

Koyote Kissing Machine
Koyote Kissing Machine
Koyote Kissing Machine, Gold, Ace Striker

"One night, on her way back to Koyolabo Koyori noticed something strange, a contraption with an uncanny resemblance to her standing in front of a monument to peace and love. Undaunted, she approached it only to find herself assaulted by an unrelenting storm of kisses, each wetter, sloppier, deeper and more passionate than the last... mwah mwah mwah mwah... "...nenechi... what have you done... this.. is... mwah.. is... mwah... t... mwah... oo... mwah... mwah... mwah..."

A trap fit for her and one she might not survived were it not for the sacrifice of joshu after joshu who upon noticing her peril, jumped in front of her in order to protect their beloved koyote... Repurposed as an ace striker capable of breaking through any defense with an unrelenting stream of well placed CHU'S, the Koyote Kissing Machine's legend continues, supported by the careful care and maintenance provided to it by all members of the lab throughout day and night. Every inch of the machine has been thoroughly and repeatedly tested for maximum performance and its cheerful Mwah's are a constant source of joy for the lab."

Koyori reacting to Koyote Kissing Machine

Longjoshu
Longjoshu!

>he's not that long
-Beebs, clenching his fist
>o..oh god... c..can i touch it...? ...p ..please...?
-lab visitor

He's back, her forward! he's pushing in and pulling out! a master of flexibility who rises up to meet every occasion, long joshu is a common sight on the field, always ready to go in whenever needed!

No formation is too tight, no defense impenetrable, he makes a deep and lasting impression on all that behold him! If there's grass he will play!

Give him a good rub and he'll love you forever!

It's koyover...
It's koyover...

>this is the run!
>nm i meant this one!
>koyo...
>its koyover...
>>X< are Koyotes natural predators
>It's never been as koyover as it is right now

-/mayo/
> WHAAAAT!?!? SHES CHEATING! SHE HAS SUMMONS TOO?!? THIS IS BS! AHHHH WELL HAVE A REVENGE AT 9! AHHHHH!!!
>WHAT THE HELL I DON'T GET IT IS THIS A LAST BOSS?! SHE CAN DO TOO MUCH AHHHHHH!
>AHHHHHHHH I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE I HATE YOU AHHHHH AHHHHH!

-Hakui Koyori, over the sound of rattling

A heavy mood descends over the field, a tension and unease that is hard to describe accompanied of an all engulfing silence which is suddenly pierced by a soul shattering shriek... "AHHHHHHHHHHHH"... you hear, followed by the rhythmic beating of some surface... and then; a blood curling sight, a shadowy hunched figure holding her head, disorienting shrieks each higher than the last emanating from it, all color, joy and happiness gone from the vicinity, the bright grass of the turf from just moments ago seeming to wither in an instant... time itself seems to freeze as every thought is replaced by the cacophony of screams... slowly, inexorably, you realize a simple truth... its koyover, it always was... for you.

Renala COMPLETELY BREAKS Koyori【Full Fight Highlights】

Joshu Drone
Joshu Drone!

"To boldly go where no Joshu has gone before". One Joshu looked to the skies and powered a machine with his own mayo only to reach the mayo clouds.

>May he fly high forevermore!
anon

Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos
Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos

>AWOOOOOGA BOING BOING BOING BOING MMMMMMM *SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK POP* HAMUNA HAMUNA HAMUNA HAMUNA KOYOTE TITTIES ALSO KNOWN AS KOYOTITTIES MMMMMMM SUCK OUT ALL THE MAYO FROM THE KOYOBOOBIES

KoyoBaby
KoyoBaby

When all hope is lost, the pacifier and rattle will appear to save the day.

KOYOLIVE!
KOYOLIVE!

The Pink Koyote will follow in her mother's footsteps and show that you don't need to be good at singing to be an Idol. The mythical Koyolive will finally pierce the delicate ears of all Joshu-kuns around the world. If all your fans are deaf, singing skills does not matter anymore...

YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!
YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!

HOLOLIVE GREATEST HYPEKOYOTE! WHETHER IT'S THE HOME'S GOAL OR HER OPPONENT'S GOAL. YOU WILL ALWAYS HEAR: "YAAAAAAAAAAAATTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH JOSHUUU-KKUUNNNN!

KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~
KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~

Every Tuesday morning, a Pink Koyote releases her hot leaks of each week.

KoyoBaby
Lolikoyo

You reckon for the lolikoyo entry we can just go with the classic? Anon (>>66558705) 1663321535334.png

The lab

Joshu

Joshu evolves into Long Joshu whenever Koyo is around!

Long Joshu is a Champion Level Joshu with the special characteristic that he's able to elongate further making it match the endurance and strength of a ultimate or even a Mega Level Joshu just via willpower and proper stimulation! Similar to egg digivolutions, Long Joshu can also be ridden like a vehicle and Koyo often does so! Long Joshu allows her to reach heights that would otherwise be impossible! Repeatedly! Depicted: A Rookie Level Joshu! This is the base form that will turn into shiny, long, jumbo, cool, drone, and many other types of Joshus depending on which music track is playing when he does!

Anon

Stadium

We have a stadium called Koyolabo! WAO~!

Mayo-koyolabo006.jpg

Anthem

Koyori blessed us by singing our anthem! Sing along!

konkoyo koukou!
JP EN

天下に響け我が力
勝利、勝利、完全勝利
I LOVE WE LOVE
ナンバーワン!
どれをとっても世界一
オンリーワンよりナンバーワン
神をも恐れぬ心意気
こんこよ、
こんこよ、
こんこよ、
ああ こんこよ高校

Let our power resound under the heavens!
Victory, victory, victory over all!
I love we Love
Number One
Every player is the number one in the world!
Number one can only go to those hearts that know no fear!
Who will not give up even before gods!
Konkoyo!
Konkoyo!
Konkoyooo!
Ahhhhh Konkoyo High School!

☆ Konkoyo means Konkoyo!
☆☆ Konkoyo Highschool is a reference to Koyolabo, a koyote institution of vigorous energetic hands on learning of all things


Official Match History

Competition Round Opponent Result Scorers Date
VTLeague5 Logo.png
/vt/ League 5
Group H Numbers icon.png /numbers/ 3-4 W Goal 16' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 31'74' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!
Goal 44' Lolikoyo
2 September 2023
Wvt icon.png /wvt/ 3-3 D Goal 27'63' Koyote Kissing Machine
Goal 80' Lolikoyo
9 September 2023
Fvr icon.png /fvr/
FL8V0RTOWN
8-0 W Goal 3'29'42' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Joshu-kun!
Goal 23'90+4' (pen) Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 63'85'89' Koyote Kissing Machine
Booked 68' Not Cat, Not Fox, Not Pomu, Koyote!
Booked 87' Lolikoyo
10 September 2023
Round of 16 Apg icon.png /apg/ 5-3 W Goal 9'68' YATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JOSHU KUN!
Goal 12'66' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 88' Koyote Kissing Machine
16 September 2023


Quarter Finals Manstars icon.png /manstars/ 1-2 W Goal 42'80' Koyote Kissing Machine 17 September 2023
Semi Finals Hag icon.png /hag/ 5-4 W Goal 8'40'90+0' Koyote Kissing Machine
Goal 35' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Goal 77' Lolikoyo
17 September 2023
Final Uuu icon.png /uuu/ 1-5 W Goal 6'27'78' Koyote Kissing Machine
Goal 72'90+3' Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyos
Booked 83' KHN ~Koyori's Hot Nudes~
17 September 2023

Unofficial Match History

Competition Opponent Result Match Events Date
Vtl6friendlylogo.png
/vt/ League 6 Friendlies
Hag icon.png /hag/
Hag Revenge rematch
2-2 Big Bouncy Konkoyoyoyoyoyoyoyos Goal 22'64'
Gaming Koyori Booked 61'
13 January 2024