/vst/

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/vst/
Arma et Butyrum
Vst logo.png
/vst/ - Video Games/Strategy
Founded April 24th, 2021
Manager Sid Meier
Owner Matrix Games
IRL manager RealPilky !!yRsASYbCxQc
Team colors
Chat color 231F20
Gun Powder Black
Ranking 47 (decrease 1)
Highest rank 46 (February 13, 2022)
Lowest rank 51 (November 14, 2021)
Top scorer Nuclear Gandhi (10)
Top assister KANE LIVES (7)
Captain KANE LIVES
Website /vst/ - Video Games/Strategy
Nickname The a/vst/ists
Home ground Armchair General
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
6 3 6 15 40%
GF GA GD
27 24 +3
Biggest win
/b/ B icon.png 0–4 Vst icon.png /vst/
April 30, 2022
Biggest defeat
/tv/ Tv icon.png 4–1 Vst icon.png /vst/
July 30, 2022
First match
/toy/ Toy icon.png 1–1 Vst icon.png /vst/
July 11, 2021
Elite Cup
Appearances 1 (First in 2021 4chan World Cup)
Best result 18th, 2021 4chan World Cup
Babby Cup
Appearances 2 (First in 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup)
Best result 17, 2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup
Team music
Anthem Prepare for Battle Remix
Victory Anthem Empire Earth Main Theme

Goal horn Total Annihilation
KANE LIVES 3+ Goals Horn No Mercy
Nuclear Gandhi Goal Horn TUNAK TUNAK TUN
WHEN THE WORK RESULT WAS GOOD Goal Horn Silent Orchestra
Kits
Home kit Vst home kit.png
Away kit Vst away kit.png
Goalkeeper kit Vst goalkeeper kit.png
Third kit Vst kit 3.png
Fourth kit Vst kit 4.png
Fifth kit Vst kit 5 2022 summer cup.png


The second child of the 3rd Balkanization of /v/, /vst/ is home to the greatest strategic minds of a generation. Raised on the battlefields of X-Com and Command & Conquer, their skill at leading men to their deaths is unrivaled across the boards. All who dare oppose the unshakable will of /vst/ will crumble before them, as long as nobody forgets to build their pylons.

THREAD STATUS: UP

Team History

Spring 2021--Early Campaigns

As a new team set to debut upon the greatest stage of all time, /vst/ launched training operations at a frenzied pace, determined to establish themselves as a major power in the World Cup. It should be noted (despite any claims, official records, or video evidence to the contrary) that /vst/ did not participate in Beta Bowl II, and even if it had, it most certainly would not have spooned out with a -5 GD. What can be determined, however, is that around this time, /vst/ gained crucial knowledge of what does not work, and like the Soviet Union after the Winter War, set out to correct these deficiencies.

After a period of wargames and skirmishing, /vst/ next took to the Spring Friendlies. Whereas other teams foolishly wasted this opportunity on meme strats and wild formations, /vst/ came to conquer, defeating mighty /m/ and establishing dominance over their little brother /vm/. All in all, /vst/ came out of the friendlies with a commanding 3-1 record, proving to all that they are a force to be reckoned with.

With their training complete, /vst/ sounded the drums of war. With >Kane at their head, and the indomitable will of the board behind them, the team marched to the World Cup, and to glory.

Summer 2021--The Greatest Game

Arriving at the World Cup, /vst/ drew into Group I, alongside /toy/, /fit/ and /lit/. /vst/'s debut was ultimately inauspicious, choosing to preserve /toy/'s dignity and instead electing to join its brother boards (and /vt/) in tying their inaugural matches. After a week's bye to plan for their remaining matches, /vst/ partook in the humiliation of /fit/, routing the >2 star team and sending them home with naught but the Wooden Spoon to show for their feeble efforts. However, going into the /lit/ game, there were those who doubted /vst/, saying that tying /toy/ was a sign of weakness and defeating /fit/ proved nothing. /vst/ made fools of them all, defying the New Stadium Curse to crush /lit/ 3-1, tying the record for Highest Average Rating for the first time since 2015, pioneering the +1 meta that would stand for the remainder of the cup, and securing their rightful place as the top team of the group.

Their critics thusly silenced, and the tide of opinion rapidly turning in their favor, /vst/ moved on to the Round of 32, with /s4s/ drawing to face them. The match began well in /vst/'s favor, ceding an early goal--as was rapidly becoming tradition--before striking back with nuclear fury, Nuclear Gandhi claiming a brace and Kane one more to bring the score to 3-1 at halftime.

What happened next is unclear, but later chemical analysis would reveal that Gandhi's halftime tea had been laced with soy milk instead of cow's milk. It is believed that this caused Gandhi to suffer rapid-onset ideological shift, leading him to embrace such vile notions as "Liberalism" and "Pacifism", as he then proceeded to spend the entire second half passing the ball directly to the /s4s/ keeper at every opportunity. Even with /vst/'s offense so utterly crippled, /s4s/ struggled to make a comeback, with only a freak throughball at 90+2 sending the game into extra time and eventually penalties. Unfortunately, despite a heroic performance from the powerliches, /s4s/ eventually squeaked out a single kick ahead, claiming victory by only the most technical of margins. As /vst/ withdrew to get Gandhi an emergency transfusion of Douglas MacArthur's blood, /s4s/ would go on to overpower /soc/, /mlp/, /sp/ and /b/ to claim the World Cup.

Autumn 2021--The Long Winter

As the World Cup came to a close, an unsteady silence descended across the boards. With all sides in need of rest and refit after the titanic struggle, the usual friendlies season was canceled, with forces instead committed to preparing for the Autumn Cup. With 40 teams split into groups of 5, the odds of promotion were slim, yet /vst/'s resolve never wavered, and with fire in their hearts, the team set forth to conquer.

Unfortunately, for all their planning, /vst/ had forgotten to account for one simple act: treason. The details remain unclear, but in /vst/'s opening match against /jp/, the opposing team demonstrated a knowledge and circumvention of /vst/'s tactics that could not possibly have come from any other source than traitorous actions. With the entire season's offensive compromised by a 0-2 loss, /vst/ redoubled their efforts, striking down the infamous /pol/ in a 3-1 rout, raising the team banner over the ruins of the Reichtag, and renewing the spirit of the attack.

/vst/'s momentum carried through, humiliating /gd/ with an identical scoreline, and with the stakes at their height, /vst/ stepped into their final battle of the groups, facing off against their distant cousins /vp/. Taking the lead in the first half, /vst/'s path to the elites was open, before a minor chink in /vst/'s lines was found at 62 minutes and relentlessly exploited, ending the game 1-3 and marking /vst/'s first defeat on their home soil.

Thus robbed of their place in the Elites, /vst/ endured a harsh winter, undertaking constant training at Weekly Divegrass, and twice paying back /vp/ for their treachery. The cold and rain tempered the men, forging them into an iron rod of unshakable might, and with steely resolve, /vst/ emerged with the Spring bloom to right the wrongs of the previous season and claim their rightful place in the pinnacle of the League.

Spring 2022--The Long Con

As the Spring offensive began, /vst/ found itself on a difficult front, facing down the likes of /b/, /mu/, /c/, and /gd/, an array of veterans with multiple cup titles between them.  Undaunted, /vst/ charged into the fray, breaking /b/ in a staggering 4-0 victory, and establishing dominance as a front-runner of the group.  This would be tarnished next week against /mu/, however, when blind luck would enable them to score two goals post-85 minutes, turning a satisfactory 1-1 draw into a stinging 1-3 loss. Things became tight as /vst/ moved into the second half of the group, coming up against /c/ in a hard-fought 1-1 draw.  While not eliminated, /vst/‘s margin for error was all but gone as it prepared to face the most daunting foe of the group, the mighty /gd/.  It was here, in this most desperate of moments, that the War Room made its greatest gamble; to step back and trust the men to do their job.  With no direction and nothing but their own initiative to rely upon, /vst/‘s players came into their own, weathering /gd/‘s onslaught with an iron defense, before not once, but twice striking through their lines to strike /gd/ in the heart and walk away with a crucial 2-0 victory.  /gd/ would go on to win the cup, marking the third consecutive time that /vst/ drew against the eventual winner, but their failure to conquer /vst/ would be the lone wound upon their pride.

Yet even resting on 7 points, /vst/ was not yet in the clear, for one more week remained, in which /vst/ would not play.  Instead, this week would mark /c/‘s last gambit to take their own place in the knockouts.  Still, /vst/ sat on a comfortable 93% chance of promotion, and so the a/vst/ists sat back to watch the game unfold.

When /b/ fell to /gd/, it was no great surprise.  /b/ had underwhelmed this cup, but it forced a new tension upon the proceedings.  With /gd/ locked in for promotion, it was now either /vst/ or /c/, with only the latter’s game against /mu/ to decide.

It was a simple task /mu/ had, to simply not lose by 3, and /vst/ would be through.  Naturally, they folded like Romanians on the Volga, imploding from a 1-0 lead to a 1-4 loss, with a trollpost defense in the closing minutes sealing /vst/‘s fate as /c/ usurped their place to advance to the knockouts.  /vst/ ended the tournament third place in the group and 17th overall, a crushing, bitter defeat.

Yet wars are not always won on the field of battle, and as the months turned towards Summer, circumstances would take a dramatic turn.  In the last week before teams for the Summer Elite were finalized, /adv/‘s headquarters was utterly destroyed in a surprise attack.  An invalid Proof of Interest, one manager suspended, the other retiring in disgrace, and a mushroom cloud hovering over the board could mean only one thing.  /adv/ was disqualified from participation, and out of the rubble and radioactive ash of /adv/‘s hopes emerged the players of /vst/, bloodied but unbroken, ascending at last to fill the void and claim their destined place, an Elite team.

Summer 2022--REDACTED

[ALL DETAILS PERTAINING TO THIS EVENT HAVE BEEN PURGED FROM RECORDS]

Roster

Advanced Build Menu

No. Position Player
1
  GK
>no 110% speed
4
  CB
Giant Pile of DLC
20
  CB
Erika
3
  LB
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
23
  RB
ABIBA TOOT
18
  SS
Karl Franz
6
  CMF
"Glad you could make it, [BOARD]."
22
  CMF
WHEN THE WORK RESULT WAS GOOD
9
  SS
Wololo
11
  AMF
Nuclear Gandhi
12
  CF
KANE LIVES Captain
No. Position Player
2
  GK
Good luck! I'm behind 7000 Powerliches
13
  CB
Is PES a Strategy Game?
5
  CB
Metal Boxes
21
  CB
Horatio
19
  LB
ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE
17
  RB
Tall/Wide
10
  DMF
">99% Chance to hit."
16
  CMF
DORKEI HATQAPA IBERIM
15
  CMF
King Gedivilas of Chadtuania
24
  CMF
THERMAL SIGNATURE DETECTED
8
  SS
Artificial """Intelligence"""
7
  SS
El Presidente

Team Photo.png

Match History

Official

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
11 JUL 2021 Toy icon.png /toy/ 2021 4chan World Cup 1-1 D KANE LIVES Goal 25'
23 JUL 2021 Fit icon.png /fit/ 2021 4chan World Cup 2-1 W KANE LIVES Goal 10'
">99% Chance to hit." Goal 30'
31 JUL 2021 Lit icon.png /lit/ 2021 4chan World Cup 3-1 W KANE LIVES Goal 26'
Wololo Goal 44'
Nuclear Gandhi Goal 66'
8 AUG 2021 S4s icon.png /s4s/ 2021 4chan World Cup 3-3 (2-3 PK) L Nuclear Gandhi Goal 16'29'
KANE LIVES Goal 42'
24 OCT 2021 Jp icon.png /jp/ 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 2-0 L
30 OCT 2021 Pol icon.png /pol/ 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 3-1 W Nuclear Gandhi Goal 17'44'
KANE LIVES Goal 82'
5 NOV 2021 Gd icon.png /gd/ 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 3-1 W ">99% Chance to hit." Goal 48'
Nuclear Gandhi Goal 57'
Wololo Goal 70'
7 NOV 2021 Vp icon.png /vp/ 2021 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 3-1 L KANE LIVES Goal 23'
30 APR 2022 B icon.png /b/ 2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup 4-0 W Nuclear Gandhi Goal 3'13'76'
">99% Chance to hit." Goal 72'
6 MAY 2022 Mu icon.png /mu/ 2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup 3-1 L KANE LIVES Goal 67'
8 MAY 2022 C icon.png /c/ 2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup 1-1 D Nuclear Gandhi Goal 21'
14 MAY 2022 Gd icon.png /gd/ 2022 4chan Spring Babby Cup 2-0 W KANE LIVES Goal 45+1'87'
30 JUL 2022 Tv icon.png /tv/ 2022 4chan Summer Cup 4-1 L Nuclear Gandhi Goal 45+3'
5 AUG 2022 S4s icon.png /s4s/ 2022 4chan Summer Cup 1-1 D KANE LIVES! Goal 39'
7 AUG 2022 N icon.png /n/ 2022 4chan Summer Cup 2-1 L KANE LIVES! Goal 78'

Unofficial

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
30 APR 2021 M icon.png /m/ 2021 4chan Spring Friendlies 1-1 (4-3 PK) W Wololo Goal 19'
8 MAY 2021 His icon.png /his/ 2021 4chan Spring Friendlies 2-0 L
9 MAY 2021 Vrpg icon.png /vrpg/ 2021 4chan Spring Friendlies 3-1 L Wololo Goal 56'
15 MAY 2021 Wsg icon.png /wsg/ 2021 4chan Spring Friendlies 3-2 W >99% Chance to Hit Goal 37'
Nuclear Gandhi Goal 53'57'
21 MAY 2021 Vm icon.png /vm/ 2021 4chan Spring Friendlies 2-1 W Tall/Wide Goal 66'
Nuclear Gandhi Goal 78'
29 NOV 2021 Vg icon.png /vg/ Weekly Divegrass 0-0 D
13 DEC 2021 Vr icon.png /vr/ Weekly Divegrass 4-2 L KANE LIVES Goal 7, 76'
4 JAN 2022 Vrpg icon.png /vrpg/ Weekly Divegrass 4-4 D Nuclear Gandhi Goal 14, 56, 79'
>99% Chance to hit Goal 23'
18 JAN 2022 Vt icon.png /vt/ Weekly Divegrass 3-0 W Wololo Goal 10'
Nuclear Gandhi Goal 18'
KANE LIVES Goal 32'
24 JAN 2022 Vm icon.png /vm/ Weekly Divegrass 0-0 D
8 FEB 2022 V icon.png /v/ Weekly Divegrass 1-0 L
10 FEB 2022 Lit icon.png /lit/ Mega Garbage Day Extravaganza 2-1 W Wololo Goal 10'
KANE LIVES Goal 65'
28 FEB 2022 Vp icon.png /vp/ Weekly Divegrass 3-1 W KANE LIVES Goal 42, 50, 80'
7 MAR 2022 Vt icon.png /vt/ Weekly Divegrass 1-1 D KANE LIVES Goal 50'
21 MAR 2022 Vrpg icon.png /vrpg/ Spring 2022 Monday Night Futbol 1-0 L
21 MAR 2022 Vp icon.png /vp/ Weekly Divegrass 3-1 W Nuclear Gandhi Goal 67, 90+2'
Wololo Goal 76'
28 MAR 2022 K icon.png /k/ Spring 2022 Monday Night Futbol 2-3 L Wololo Goal 11'
Artificial """Intelligence""" Goal 45+1'
11 APR 2022 V icon.png /v/ Weekly Divegrass 0-2 L
25 APR 2022 Vm icon.png /vm/ Weekly Divegrass 5-2 W Nuclear Gandhi Goal 23, 90+5'
Wololo Goal 39'
KANE LIVES Goal 60'71' (pen.)
2 MAY 2022 Vrpg icon.png /vrpg/ Weekly Divegrass 1-4 L KANE LIVES Goal 26'
23 SEP 2022 Y icon.png /y/ 2022 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies 5-3 W Nuclear Gandhi Goal 33'
Wololo Goal 40, 57, 67'
Karl Franz Goal 90+1'
2 OCT 2022 Pw icon.png /pw/ 2022 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies 2-0 L
2 OCT 2022 Sci icon.png /sci/ 2022 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies 1-0 W Wololo Goal 76'

Rivalries

Vm logo.png
The Friendly Sibling Rivalry

As brothers both by blood and through fire, /vm/ and /vst/ share a bond few boards can comprehend. Nevertheless, /vst/ always delights in reminding its little brother that twitch reflexes are no match for a well-orchestrated plan.

0-0-0

Awards & Honors

Cup Records

Player Record Score Broken/Tied Held From Held To Current Status
Team Highest Average Rating 6.54 Tied July 31, 2021 Current Tied Record