/s4s/

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[s4s] (stylized /s4s/ for cup play) is a virtual professional football team representing the Shit 4chan Says board on 4chan. [s4s], as a board, was originally thought to be an April Fools' joke, but is now home to some of the D A N K E S T M E M E S and best GETs on all of 4chan. The team's cup history is long and winding, with [s4s] having played in every level of the cup, ranging from the first ever Babby Cup Qualifiers to the Elite level of play. [s4s]'s most recent cup performance was an 11th-place finish in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup, and as such they will be participating in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup. GED HYB! :DDD

We now have an ebin team Discord server for all you nice fans and funposters!

/s4s/
Hodie, Sunt Commemorentur
S4s logo.png
/s4s/ - Shit 4chan Says
Founded May 17, 2013
Owner ETi, Inc.
Gippo Dudee
IRL manager Shouganaina !!+HJ7qWns8oA DoubleNigger !!+4tTJJnz3W+ Fapoleon !!vLW/0AZEhwG
Team colors
HEX color DAA520
 :^) Gold
Ranking 32 (increase 9)
Highest rank 7th (Post-Spring '15)
Lowest rank 44th (Post-Autumn '13)
Top scorer Patrick Bateman (54)
Top assister Topkek (18)
Captain Patrick Bateman
Website /s4s/ - Shit 4chan Says
Nickname [s4s]quatches
Shitp4sterS
Dubs FC
Home ground Unchecked Dubs Memorial Stadium
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
30 11 24 65 46.15%
GF GA GD
124 108 +16
Biggest win
/s4s/ S4s icon.png 5–0 X icon.png /x/
20 February 2015
Biggest defeat
/ic/ Ic icon.png 5–0 S4s icon.png /s4s/
26 April 2014
First match
/gd/ Gd icon.png 3–1 S4s icon.png /s4s/
12 July 2013
Elite Cup
Appearances 7 (First in 2014 4chan Summer Cup)
Best result 5th, 2015 4chan Winter Cup
Babby Cup
Appearances 6 (First in 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup)
Best result 5th, 2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
Team music
Anthem All Star
Group Stage Victory Anthem Jazz Star
RO16 Victory Anthem Romance Star
Keksandra MotM Victory Anthem Boris x Keksandra
Cup Champions Victory Anthem Valinor Quartet - Hallelujah

Goal horn Hip To Be Square
Alternate goal horn I Need Dubs (Dubs goalhorn and Brace goalhorn)
Alternate goal horn KEK (For Topkek)
Alternate goal horn [s4s]-Tan (Keksandra goalhorn)
Kits
Home kit S4shome wc2015.png
Away kit S4saway-2016sc.png
Third kit S4s kit 4.png
Fourth kit S4s kit 3.png
Fifth kit S4sthird-2016sc.png


Roster

See also:

No. Position Player
  GK
#fortune
  RB
Yosho
  CB
Dubs
  CB
Flube
  LB
:^)
  CMF
ses
  DMF
Swaglord
  CMF
Nice Grill
  SS
Keksandra
  SS
Topkek
  CF
Patrick BatemanCaptain
No. Position Player
  GK
youd be suprise
  CB
Ass
  CB
wew lad
  CB
Cowe
  CB
snek court
  LB
Ebin
  RB
Jack Ruselel
  CMF
Merula
  DMF
zrg
  DMF
Introducing
  CMF
Flowre
  CMF
Bury Ebil

Export, Aesthetics, And Music

Current Exports

Match History

Match Date Opponent Competition Result Goal Scorers
July 12, 2013

Gd icon.png /gd/

2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies

3-1 L

Shrek Goal 86'

July 20, 2013

B icon.png /b/

2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies

1-0 W

Quads Goal 22'

September 21, 2013

An icon.png /an/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies

2-0 L
October 5, 2013

Fa icon.png /fa/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies

1-0 W

Shrek Goal 36'

October 25, 2013

O icon.png /o/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers

4-2 W

Shrek Goal 13'40'
Patrick Bateman Goal 35'
Top Kek Goal 48'

October 26, 2013

3 icon.png /3/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers

3-0 W

Patrick Bateman Goal 50'
Shrek Goal 70'78'

October 27, 2013

Wsg icon.png /wsg/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers

2-1 W

Shrek Goal 70'77'

October 27, 2013

Lgbt icon.png /lgbt/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers

1-1 D

Shrek Goal 65'

November 16, 2013

Pol icon.png /pol/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

2-1 L

Shrek Goal 34'

November 22, 2013

Cgl icon.png /cgl/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

1-1 D

Shrek Goal 65'

November 24, 2013

R9k icon.png /r9k/

2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

4-4 D

Shrek Goal 18'37'52'65'

January 11, 2014

Vg icon.png /vg/

2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies

1-0 L
January 19, 2014

Trv icon.png /trv/

2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies

1-1 D

Shrek Goal 56'

April 6, 2014

O icon.png /o/

2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

2-1 L

[s4s]-Tan Goal 90+'

April 11, 2014

Tv icon.png /tv/

2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

3-3 D

Patrick Bateman Goal 16'71'
[s4s]-Tan Goal 59'

April 13, 2014

Vr icon.png /vr/

2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

1-0 W Patrick Bateman Goal 42'
April 19, 2014

Hr icon.png /hr/

2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

2-1 W Patrick Bateman Goal 13'70'
April 26, 2014

Ic icon.png /ic/

2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup Round of 16

5-0 L
May 31, 2014

Lgbt icon.png /lgbt/

2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies

2-1 L Patrick Bateman Goal 33'
June 7, 2014

Hm icon.png /hm/

2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies

2-1 W [s4s]-Tan Goal 34'39'
July 19, 2014

Soc icon.png /soc/

2014 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

4-2 W Cory Baxter Goal 16'37'
Patrick Bateman Goal 33'
[s4s]-Tan Goal 82'
July 26, 2014

Pol icon.png /pol/

2014 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

2-2 D

Cory Baxter Goal 42'
[s4s]-Tan Goal 74'

July 27, 2014

Asp icon.png /asp/

2014 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

2-1 L

Topkek Goal 73'

July 27, 2014

X icon.png /x/

2014 4chan Summer Cup Knockout Stages

1(6)-1(5) L

[s4s]-Tan Goal 81'

February 14, 2015

M icon.png /m/

2015 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

3-0 W

Topkek Goal 8'76'
Nice Grill Goal 29'

February 20, 2015

X icon.png /x/

2015 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

5-0 W

Dubs Goal 41'
Patrick Bateman Goal 44'58'60'66'

February 22, 2015

Mlp icon.png /mlp/

2015 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

1-1 D

[s4s]-Tan Goal 3'

February 28, 2015

Sci icon.png /sci/

2015 4chan Winter Cup Round of 16

3-0 W

D A N K M E M E S Goal 13'69'
Patrick Bateman Goal 45+'

March 1, 2015

Tg icon.png /tg/

2015 4chan Winter Cup Quarterfinals

3-2 L

Patrick Bateman Goal 15'
Nice Grill Goal 25'

July 31, 2015

Mu icon.png /mu/

2015 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

1-1 D Patrick Bateman Goal 65'
August 2, 2015

Sci icon.png /sci/

2015 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

4-1 W [s4s]-Tan Goal 4'74'83'
Patrick Bateman Goal 34'
August 8, 2015

Gd icon.png /gd/

2015 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

4-3 L Patrick Bateman Goal 13'44'70'
October 24, 2015

3 icon.png /3/

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

1-0 W Patrick Bateman Goal 34'
October 30, 2015

A icon.png /a/

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

3-1 L Patrick Bateman Goal 71'
November 1, 2015

Toy icon.png /toy/

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

4-3 W Patrick Bateman Goal 4'90+'
[s4s]-Tan Goal 30'
Ebin Goal 42'
November 8, 2015

Adv icon.png /adv/

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

2-1 W [s4s]-Tan Goal 18'
Patrick Bateman Goal 87'
November 14, 2015

Sp icon.png /sp/

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Round of 16

4-3 W Patrick Bateman Goal 31'78'
Topkek Goal 40'
Snek Court Goal 111'
November 15, 2015

Pol icon.png /pol/

2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Quarterfinals

2-0 L
February 20, 2016

G icon.png /g/

2016 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

4-0 W Patrick Bateman Goal 7'73'85'
[s4s]-Tan Goal 29'
February 26, 2015

R9k icon.png /r9k/

2016 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

1-1 D Patrick Bateman Goal 25'
February 28, 2016

Gd icon.png /gd/

2016 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

4-0 L
March 5, 2016

Asp icon.png /asp/

2016 4chan Winter Cup Round of 16

2(4)-2(3) W Nice Grill Goal 41'
Patrick Bateman Goal 59'
March 6, 2016

Mu icon.png /mu/

2016 4chan Winter Cup Quarterfinals

3-2 L Topkek Goal 14'
Patrick Bateman Goal 45+3'
August 6, 2016

M icon.png /m/

2016 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

2-2 D Topkek Goal 38'
Patrick Bateman Goal 61'
August 12, 2016

Tv icon.png /tv/

2016 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

2-1 W Topkek Goal 35'
Patrick Bateman Goal 42'
August 14, 2016

Biz icon.png /biz/

2016 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

2-1 W Patrick Bateman Goal 30'
Nice Grill Goal 53'
August 20, 2016

Adv icon.png /adv/

2016 4chan Summer Cup Round of 16

3-0 L
February 11, 2017

N icon.png /n/

2017 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

3-1 W Topkek Goal 21'
Patrick Bateman Goal 53'80'
February 17, 2017

Asp icon.png /asp/

2017 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

1-0 L
February 19, 2017

U icon.png /u/

2017 4chan Winter Cup Group Stages

2-1 W Topkek Goal 38'43'
February 25, 2017

Gd icon.png /gd/

2017 4chan Winter Cup Round of 16

5-2 L Patrick Bateman Goal 45+0'58'
July 28, 2017

His icon.png /his/

2017 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

3-2 L Patrick Bateman Goal 18'
Keksandra Goal 90+2'
July 30, 2017

Asp icon.png /asp/

2017 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

3-3 D Patrick Bateman Goal 48'90+0'
Keksandra Goal 7'
August 5, 2017

Wg icon.png /wg/

2017 4chan Summer Cup Group Stages

1-2 L Keksandra Goal 90+2'
October 27, 2017

A icon.png /a/

2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

1-3 L Patrick Bateman Goal 45+0'
October 29, 2017

Vp icon.png /vp/

2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

1-2 W Patrick Bateman Goal 21'90+0'
October 29, 2017

R9k icon.png /r9k/

2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

2-1 W TOPKEK Goal 15'59'
May 4,2018

Jp icon.png /jp/

2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

2-0 W Patrick Bateman Goal 23'
Slut Sanae Scored 30'
May 6,2018

A icon.png /a/

2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

1-2 L Patrick Bateman Goal 19'
May 11,2018

T icon.png /t/

2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

2-3 L Patrick Bateman Goal 41'
Keksandra Goal 87'
May 14, 2018

C icon.png /c/

2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup Group Stages

3-1 W Patrick Bateman Goal 8'53'
Keksandra Goal 90+2'
October 26, 2018

O icon.png /o/

2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

2-0 W Topkek Goal 51'
Patrick Bateman Goal 69' (pen.)
October 28, 2018

Mlp icon.png /mlp/

2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

3-1 W Nice Grill Goal 13'
Topkek Goal 33'
Patrick Bateman Goal 52'
November 3, 2018

Wsg icon.png /wsg/

2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Group Stages

5-1 W Nice Grill Goal 10'
Keksandra Goal 45+4'90+7'
Topkek Goal 49'
Flowre Goal 85'
November 10, 2018

Wg icon.png /wg/

2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Round of 16

1(4)-1(3) L Patrick Bateman Goal 59'

Team History

For earlier history: /s4s/ history

2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup

The second consecutive 6-point heartbreak for [s4s] meant that things had to be shaken up. Ojamajo Doremi, Spikeman, and Kogasa, as well as former team stalwarts le millenom grill, D A N K M E M E S, and BAVI were all sacked, replaced with debutants Flube, zrg, and Merula, as well as Reserves promotions Introducing, Jack Ruselel, and Dubs. The draw saw [s4s] put into Group A, along with some very, very familiar faces: /o/, who [s4s] had played twice prior (the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and the 2014 Spring Babby), /wsg/, another opponent from the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and /mlp/, who [s4s] played in their magical Winter 2015 run. As for the matches, it could be said much of the Cup's audience underestimated Dubs FC, with what came next. The curtain raiser for [s4s]'s Autumn saw them take on /o/. With goals coming from Topkek and a Bateman penalty after Squids viciously brought him down from behind, [s4s] trounced /o/ 2-0. The dominant [s4s] defense and deadly attack seen in that match would follow [s4s] into the remaining two group stage games. The second match saw [s4s] take on /mlp/, who were arguably fallen giants after their disappointing run in the prior Summer. A 4th minute goal from Cup legend >rape saw the ponies take an early lead, but from then on it was all [s4s]. [s4s] equalized 9 minutes later, thanks to a heavily deflected effort from Nice Grill hitting the back of the net. In the 33rd minute, /mlp/ centerback Thanks M.A. Larson dawdled in possession, Keksandra closed him down brilliantly and played a lovely ball to Topkek. He rifled a first-time effort past Hasbro Internet Security and [s4s] took the lead. Following the half-time restart, Patrick Bateman almost extended [s4s]'s lead immediately, with a powerful shot unluckily rifling off the crossbar. But, he wouldn't have to wait long to do just that. In the 52nd, fullback Jack Ruselel charged up the right wing and played an excellent sliding ball in to Bateman, who hit the back of the net from close range and made it 3-1, and the strength of the [s4s]quatch defense meant the score at full time was just that. Despite [s4s] winning both of their first two matches, promotion was not 100% percent confirmed, meaning a swing in goal-difference large enough would see yet another heartbreak come [s4s]'s way. From the 10th minute on in the final match against /wsg/, it was evident that this would not be happening, however. Nice Grill charged into the box and tapped it past Get Out, grabbing her 2nd goal of the campaign. Gondola brought it level in the 19th minute, but it turned out to be little more than a consolation as from that point on, the floodgates were open. A well-worked corner saw Keksandra head it in to give [s4s] the lead, a lead they would further extend through another excellent cross from Ebin to Topkek four minutes after played resumed. Subs were brought on at 64' and 75', one of whom was Flowre, who infamously received a red card in a certain match against /gd/. Now a midfielder, Flowre would potentially have a chance to redeem herself, and in the 85th minute, she would do just that. A free kick to [s4s] saw the ball fall directly to her feet, and she let off a first-time volley which flew into the net to make it 4-1. The referees signaled for a minimum of four minutes of added time, and [s4s] would make use of every minute of those four and then some. A failed headed clearance by /wsg/ saw the ball go to to Topkek, who in turn headed it to Keksandra, whose half-volley goal in the 97th minute would be the last kick of the game, as the match ended in a commanding 5-1 victory. This meant [s4s] had finally successfully promoted back to the Elites, doing so in dominant fashion: the final table would show [s4s] achieving the storied 9 Point Master Race with 10 Goals For against an impressive 2 Goals Against. [s4s] were at that point among the favorites to win the entire Cup, but sadly, these dreams were quickly and agonizingly dashed. The Round Of 16 draw [s4s] face /wg/ in the first match of the penultimate day of competition. An unprecedented two-at-the-back formation saw /wg/ overload the midfield, allowing them to take the lead in the 12th minute through I Am Very Sad, a lead they would hold until halftime. Bateman would equalize for Dubs FC with just over 30 minutes to go, and that 1-1 scoreline would hold through past full time, as well as the first half of extra time. However, as play resumed, the unthinkable happened. /wg/ kicked off with Helios receiving the pass in the center circle, and in an attempt to win the ball, Bateman played an absolutely abhorrent challenge, two-footing the Greek from behind. He was sent off. It was the first card of his career. It came 19 seconds into the second half. The Ess-Force, now a man down, immediately parked the bus, desperate to hold on until penalties. They would valiantly do just that. Sadly, they could not steal the match from the spot, with poorly placed kicks from :^) and Swaglord sending [s4s] crashing out, 1(4)-1(3). However, the result only stung so much, as [s4s] could now look towards the 2019 4chan Winter Cup with desire and ambition.

Past Cup Performances

Statistics and Honors

Player Statistics

Goals and Assists

Player Goals Assists
Patrick Bateman 54 14
Keksandra 20 13
Topkek 17 18
Shrek 17 4
Nice Grill 5 8
Cory Baxter 3 1
D A N K M E M E S 2 5
Ebin 1 8
Snek Court 1 3
Flowre 1 0
Quads 1 0
:^) 0 4
Jack Ruselel 0 2
Awoo~ 0 1
Me On The Left 0 1
Yee 0 1
Youd Be Surprise 0 1
Cowe 0 1
zrg 0 1
Ojamajo Doremi 0 1

Saves

Player Saves
Walruse 50
Doge 28
Kogasa 27
#fortune 22
Swaglord 20
Le Purple Palmtree Man 5
My OC 4
Slowpoke 3
Donut Man 2

Individual Honors

Team Honors

Rivalries

You'd think the nicest team in the 4chan Cup wouldn't have rivalries, but youd be suprise :^)

Board Rivalries

Sh*tpost Bowl: S4s icon.png /s4s/ v. /b/ B icon.png

Newfigs to [s4s] consider it to be a "new /b/", in that they're both filled with ironic shitposting funposting, dubs threads, and useless content OC, but everyone knows [s4s] is better, both as a board and as a team. The only official Cup match these two teams have ever played against each other was [s4s]'s second ever, and it ended in a 1-0 win for [s4s]. Record: 1W - 0D - 0L

Dumb Frogposting Bowl: S4s icon.png /s4s/ v. /r9k/ R9k icon.png

Although Pepes and Sadfrogs are some of the most commonly-posted images on /r9k/, they are looked down upon on [s4s], and anyone who posts one of these images will be referred to as a "dumb frogposter". [s4s] and /r9k/ do share one similarity, however: they were, at one point, the only boards on 4chan's header board list that resided in brackets by themselves. This rivalry sat at 2 draws up until Autumn 2017, when [s4s] pulled ahead with a win, being the only team to beat /r9k/ that entire cup. Record: 1W - 2D - 0L

Meta Rivalries

"Seriously Guys It's Not Funny Anymore": S4s icon.png /s4s/ v. /gd/ Gd icon.png

Never ever. NEVER EVER. Record: 0W - 0D - 4L

Checkb Owl: S4s icon.png /s4s/ v. /lgbt/ Lgbt icon.png

In this matchup of two provisionals, something always ends up getting checked. If [s4s] win, you check these dubs, and if /lgbt/ win, you check your FUCKING PRIVILEGE, YOU WHITE CIS SCUM. This rivalry has seen two matchups, a 1-1 draw in the 2013 Autumn Fetus, and a 2-1 /lgbt/ win in the 2014 Summer Friendlies. 0W - 1D - 1L

Friendshipb Owl: S4s icon.png /s4s/ v. /mlp/ Mlp icon.png

More of a friendly rivalry than a violent one, this matchup can be summed up in one sentence: Whoever wins, the Cup loses. These two teams have met twice, both in the group stages. Fitting to the rivalry's name, the game ended in the friendliest of results, a 1-1 draw in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup that saw both teams continue through to the knockout stages. Their second face-off, however, was slightly less amicable, as Dubs FC pulled ahead with a 3-1 victory in the 2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup. Despite this, both teams again advanced. 1W - 1D - 0L

Quotes

"But yeah seriously, /s4s/ is pretty good."
DrBorisG, on his favorite team in the cup :^)


"IT CAN'T BE, IT FUCKING CAN'T BE! OH MY GOD, IT'S FOUR FOR BATEMAN!"
DrBorisG, after Patrick Bateman scored his fourth goal - and [s4s]'s 5th of the match - against /x/ in the 2015 4chan Winter Cup


"BATEMAN! BATEMAN SENDS [S4S] TO WINTER!"
Old Man Sou, after Patrick Bateman scored in the 87th minute to secure a 2-1 victory over /adv/ and a berth in the 2016 4chan Winter Cup.


Photo Gallery

Trivia

  • In '87, Huey released this; Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip To Be Square". A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. It's also a personal statement about the band itself.
  • There have been two times that a single [s4s] player has scored 4 goals in a match: Shrek against /r9k/ in Autumn '13, and Bateman against /x/ in Summer '15. However, only one of these matches ended in an [s4s] victory: The latter match.