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Revision as of 09:35, 13 February 2023
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The earliest team of the Sixth Founding, /biz/ entered the 2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup with limitless ambition and a drive for profit. After ups and (almost entirely) downs, /biz/ started their uptrend in the 2019 4chan Winter Cup. A small correction occured but they recovered with in the 2020 4chan Winter Cup, and continued their steady growth in the 2020 4chan Summer Cup up to the 2021 4chan World Cup. After all being in it together for years, it was in the 2022 4chan Winter Cup that /biz/ finally did it. MOON MISSION COMPLETED, WE'RE ALL GOING TO MAKE IT BROS.
Roster
Main page: /biz/ Roster
Main page: /biz/ Historical Roster
Team Gallery
Stadium
Wall Street is dead. We Crypto Space now. Bullruns forever?
Hype Videos
Cup History
2014 - The Initial Crash
Autumn - A Bad Start
/biz/ began with an aspiration and drive for profit and success but being the only real board from the Sixth Founding would not mean that it too would not buy high and then sell low. Like its autistic, pirate, and wall weeb noobs /biz/ would similarly AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH the cup. The cup being a mega baby with five teams per group already meant that the odds of /biz/ advancing into the elite was low since only two could advance but /biz/’s attempt to pull through would only be matched by its handling of “money making” in the following years. /biz/’s group was similarly retarded, filled with boomers, degenerate weebs, nazis, and neckbeards. /biz/’s performance for the first three games would be considered sad if it was not for the fact that it was so boring to describe the games as anything else would be a crime. Three draws, not 2-2, 1-1s, but all 0-0s. /biz/ fans were praying something would happen in their final game of the group, and their prayers were answered in a way /biz/ would come accustomed to, with /biz/ proceeding to crash 0-4 against /tg/. This would mean that /biz/ not only did not win a single game, started with a GD of -4, but would mean /biz/ did not score at all in its first cup. You may think it cannot get any worse, but oh are you in for a surprise.
2015 - It Keeps Tumbling Down
Spring - Round Two
It was then time for /biz/’s’ round two, it would be hard to do worse than the last time considering /biz/ scored no goals at all and that the team left with three draws which could be equivalent to one win. Similarly, their group looked much less intimidating, filled with hipsters, degenerates, faggots, and degenerate weebs again. But to no surprise due to all the autism in the group and the fact that the group was a mega baby group /biz/ would again struggle. To begin with their match against /mu/ would be close, with /biz/ managing to score its first goal by 80s guy to equalize the game into a 1-1. /mu/ would score again and 80s guy would again equalize. But it would all crash near the end with a late goal that would give /mu/ not /biz/ the match. /biz/ next match would be similarly close, with /soc/ starting with an early lead, losing it, then equalizing late into the match. But this time Warren Buffett would pull out a miracle 90+4 to push the game into a win. Feeling up, /biz/ anons bought, after all losing to /mu/ in a close game and beating /soc/ was clearly a buy signal. Well the call was placed and the poor fools that went all in found their investments entirely lost to a blow out 6-2 game against /lgbt/. /biz/ was now nearing the end of the group, with a small possibility of crawling out and into the elite cup if they could beat /jp/ by a large amount. But like its last time against the weebs /biz/ would again find itself in a 0-0 snooze fest. The cup would again end, this time with /biz/ at the bottom of the group, even if it had preformed slightly better then its last cup. But surely this was a buy signal, things could only go up…
Autumn - Freefalling
Sell. EVERYTHING. In this cup /biz/ would lose everything. EEEEEVERYTHING! Their first game would be a pathetic loss to the closed homosexuals. It would have been a 1-3, or maybe a 1-2, but their Sell me this PEN would play a dirty tackle inside the /biz/ box, letting /fit/ score off a penalty shot. As if that wasn’t bad enough /fit/ would then score off kickoff turning a 1-2 into a 1-4, 88 minutes into the game. And with this, the sell spell would begin. It was against >>>/out/, a must win game to secure a ticket out to the elites. Out would score twice in a row, but /biz/ would score at 37 and into extra time in the first half. But /biz/ would fail to hold, and attempting to swing would let /out/ score a 90+ goal making /biz/ not only lose, but lose their manager as he raged that his swing trading skill were sucked. Now /biz/ who had lost two games, had only ever won once against /soc/, and now had no manager in this cup, would face the coomers. Everyone was selling, there was no buy pressure. If it wasn’t for the fact that /gif/ had few to no buyers since they were also a dead team, /biz/’s closing would have likely been worse. Their game ended 2-3 with /biz/ losing again. And that left /biz/ with their last foe, the schitzos who also was at an impossibility of advancing. And again, /biz/ would continue to crash so hard that they would end up dead and in the spring 2016 qualifying fetus for the baby cup. /biz/ had lost everything in the cup. Lost 4 games in a mega baby. Lost their only manager. Placed worse team currently in the cup. Worse team in percent wins (8%). And now was headed for being aborted in a fetus. /biz/ even lost the Wooden Spoon to /co/ who had somehow managed to do worse then them in the cup (by 3 goals). J U S T
2016 - The Bull Trap
Spring - A False Hope
After /biz/ had been JUSTED hard in autumn there was a new hope for the board. After doing the absolute worse any board could do in the cup, /biz/ now had a chance to come up from their constant crashing, and find a new hope in their market. After all, why not buy at the lowest and sell after the pump? But it would have a way to go with /biz/ first needing to get out of a fetus, a qualifier of a qualifier. /biz/ would first need to face off against the underage posters . The match was close with back and forth goals on both ends, but in the end /biz/ would manage to gain a draw from the match, ending it 3-3 indicating to the buyers that /biz/ had at the very least stopped crashing. Next /biz/ would face against fem-men . The match would be slow, with /biz/ again crabbing on par with its old self, a pattern in which /biz/ buyers would hold their breath entering the next game with. /biz/ had 2 draws, and now needed a win to progress into the babby cup proper. The charts were made showing that the pattern was on in which would follow would be another crab match or a outright crash. And so /biz/ would enter its final match for the fetus against the coomers again. This time however /biz/ would break through the resistance and would push out a win. Due to the win, the second ever in /biz/ history, /biz/ would progress to the babby cup again, with the opportunity to attempt to qualify for an elite cup yet again.
And this time it would look like the winds were on /biz/ side. Having broken through the resistance it seemed as if /biz/ would keep pushing through their old paradigm and would begin creating an entirely new path for the team. Their first match would be against the geeks where /biz/ would draw 1-1 due to initial disbelief that /biz/ could preform well in a babby cup. However, the next match against the nerds would show anything but. The match opened strongly for /biz/ and ended strongly with /biz/ mooning throughout the entire match. Everyone had now priced into /biz/, it looked like they were an extremely strong team to buy into. Having an extremely high chance of progressing to the elite already, /biz/ would enter into their final match, against their original foe, the team in which had began their bear market, the neckbeards. For /tg/ to steal /biz/’s spot in the elite cup the fa/tg/uys would need to win by 3 goals, a hefty order in which would place /biz/ in a safe spot. The match began, and it would look like /biz/’s fortunes were clear, with /biz/ taking an early lead. /tg/ would quickly equalize but /biz/ would quickly there after re-take the lead before the half ended. However, /tg/ would come back in the second half to score twice more, and /biz/ would only just manage to savage a draw with a 90+ goal. It would end 3-3, /biz/ advancing into their first ever elite cup. Although /biz/ would look strong on paper, in the round of 16 match for the babby /biz/ walked in against their mech foes and were quickly made aware that /biz/ was nothing more pump and dump team. It had pumped, and now everyone was looking to exit. All the gains, in which were made against /sci/ were lost in a blow out game where /biz/ would lose 2-6. /biz/ did have an elite cup to look forward to, but it was clear to those who watch that /biz/’s buy pressure had weakened.
Summer - An Elite Failure
/biz/ would enter into their first elite, looking shacky after their battle with /m/ but with optimism. That Hope-ium would soon fade as /biz/ saw its group, with normies, shitposters, and worst of all the same team that had ripped them apart last time . The group would be hard to push through, and so along with the cool off in buying pressure would lead /biz/ into summer. All /biz/ would need to show that the last loss was a black swan event would be a win against /tv/ which seemed very possible. When the game opened /biz/ would lead the game 2-0 at the half, calming the /biz/ sellers. But little did anyone know that a whale had in fact dropped all his /biz/ holdings. And so, the second half /biz/ would crash, and /tv/ would score 3 goals, with /biz/ having nothing to return against them. /tv/ would score a final 90+ goal making clear that /biz/’s shacky performance was not a one off, but was part of a larger trend. A trend that would follow into their next game against /m/, who would sweep /biz/ yet again 5-3. Although /biz/ had put up a better fight against them then their last game, /biz/ was now out of the elite cup with no possibility of staying in they’d enter into their last match against [s4s]. Again, /biz/ would score early, only to lose 1-2 to [s4s]. /biz/ had lost all of its buy pressure, it had been pumped, and now this cup it had dumped hard.
Autumn - Back to Square One
/biz/ was in shambles, having been BTFOed in an elite it was now returning to a spot it had been more accustomed to, a babby. The buy pressure was still entirely gone, the team still crashing from the bulltrap that had been set up in spring. Could it stabilize itself in this babby? Well to put it simply there would still be hard times ahead for the /biz/ market, having three strong team in which it would face off against. First, they’d face the manchildren. In this game /biz/ would be decisively defeated by /vg/ 1-3 making clear that /biz/’s times of trouble had not stopped. /biz/ next game would be against the sperges. /biz/ thought it could not go any lower, /biz/ had lost several embracing blowout games to /lgbt/, /tg/, and /m/. But here in this game /biz/ would find itself one goal off from a bra7i1. The game ended 6-1 and it was clear that /biz/ was back to its original position of being one of the worst teams. But /biz/ had no crashed to new record lows, there was no more sell pressure since /biz/ had reached near zero. So /biz/ would have nowhere to go but up which would be the case against the neckbeards, where /biz/ would win 1-0. /biz/ had returned to its original position, but had avoided the fetus, even if it had one if its worst runs in terms of being scored against.
2017 - Sideways
Spring - I Sleep
/biz/ had gone through a roller coaster over the last few years, a few ups (arguably one) and a lot of downs. If /biz/ was a stock or a coin it’d be one you’d have pumped and dumped and then would never return to at this point. But it was spring so surely it was time to turn a new leaf, /biz/ could get buyers r-right? Well their group looked live-able, first they had the oldfags newfags then /biz/ would need to face off against the neckbards and lastly would have to face off against the actual oldfags. Their first match would be end in a mildly close match, with /biz/ winning triggering a mild buy signal. Two wins a in a row, unheard of in /biz/ history up to this point (it pains me to even write such a thing). But the anons who bought would shortly after lose all their gains for making the mistake of FOMOing into /biz/, with /tg/ ending a 0-1 match in their favor. /tg/ having won again would then put /biz/ into the precarious spot of needing another win to advance into the elite cup, with a loss potentially sending /biz/ into the autumn fetus. The match that would follow would be nothing short of murderball. Literally, one of the most carded games for a single team in all cup history, with /f/ getting 5 cards in a single game. Sadly although /biz/ began with an early lead of 2-1 /f/ would quickly rebound and end the game 3-2. Although the score line would save /biz/ from a fetus, /biz/ bad record, crashing in 2016, and now moving sideways in this cup would prove too much for many a /biz/ buyers, including its manager. Dukesilver who bough /biz/ when it seemingly was at its lowest only to see his gains slip away in autumn would cash out at a loss. Could anyone save this team?
Autumn - Wake Me Up Inside
Over the off season the BTC Bullrun of 2017 would begin, with BTC’s price jumping up into the thousands. This would cause an explosion of activity on /biz/ and so would allow the much-needed new blood for the team. Optimistic due to their gains the new management lead by Eternal Aussie would enter into Autumn with a drive for profit. But it would be difficult to say the least due a tester’s mistake, and a real tough looking group. First /biz/ would face off against the neckbeards, a, fucking, again. Next, they’d fight against… Oh god the horsefuckers. Lastly, they’d end their group against the hipsters who had cucked them once before. /biz/ first match would be a disappointment, having a very boring game against /tg/, and losing to them AGAIN. This would put /biz/ in a tight spot, and due to the management being new would leave them unaware of how cup logistics worked (for a second time) which would allow /mlp/ to score early against /biz/. However, when /biz/ fixed their shit they’d score against /mlp/ twice leading them 2-1 and a lot of screaming as AAAAAAAHHHH would make his scoring debut. However, no one could have good things and /mlp/ would quickly counter attack leading to a draw at the half, at which point /mlp/ would score again on kick off leading to their victory. /biz/’s new blood had lost their optimism and now only would be able to savage their bags by winning against /mu/, which they’d do in a boring 0-1 match. This was the bottom, there was almost no buy pressure but nothing to be sold either. Everything was moving to the side with no clear pattern for growth only pink screaming men wishing for more.
2018 - Re-Accumulation
Spring - An Upwards Trend
As we had last seen /biz/ was crashing again. But this time not only was the team, no the entire board was dying. BTC and /biz/ would were in the process of crashing. /biz/ as a team had been the laughing stock of the cup, /biz/ as a board was being laughed at for holding worthless internet money, and seems did not seem to be able to get any better. But with the addition of Sminem it was the time for smart money to begin pushing /biz/ into the light. But this would not be clear to the average pleb, and it would not begin with the start of the cup. /biz/’s group, yet another mega cup, would see /biz/ facing a the closeted homosexuals (again), the normies (again), the literal who, and a fucking joke. Their first game, after waking in with no expectations, and a prayer to Sminem and crossing their fingers that bogs would not rig, oh wait that is exactly what happened. Somehow, /biz/ who was dominating the entire game didn’t score once. It was boring as hell, and /fit/ who did jack shit all game scored on their only shot at 90+. Disappointing, but it was a megababy, so if /biz/ could win against /tv/… Nope. Up one, then /tv/ scored twice. Next /biz/ would face against /w/ looking good at first but with a sudden /w/ comeback it would look like /biz/ was finished and headed for another fetus to end the cup not with Sminem saving the team but with the bogs getting the last laugh. But the Bogs seeing the markets at their lowest and all the anons sold out with all the smart money placed in would make the call. /biz/ would score a 90+ at the last second saving them from complete embracement allowing /biz/ a victory. This along with the free win against /y/ would place /biz/ in a very different spot then they were used to. They had actually won two games. And soon this feeling would not be uncommon to /biz/.
Autumn - The Call
Having ended the megababy on a good note and with /biz/ having stabilized all while starting to produce massive amounts of new content /biz/ would enter into Autumn looking to finally join the winter cup and finally make up for all their loses. Their group on first look seemed easy, the the schitzos were under new management, the oldfags were not bad looking but not great, and the crazy cat “ladies” looked janky as hell. Plus everything looked up for once. /biz/ would start the cup dominating /x/, gaining a massive 3-0 lead at 35 minutes into the game. However, /biz/ would slowly climb their way up to 3-2. All the /biz/ buyers would make a sign of relief when the game ended having won another game. However, /biz/’s luck would run short against /f/, who would successfully beat shut /biz/ out 2-1. It was all up to /biz/ beating /an/, which seemed to be a certain victory due to how poor they had looked. But in classic /biz/ fashion Bagholder’s would make a blunder allowing /an/ to score. /biz/ was now in a hole and would need to not only score one to tie up the game, but two if it wished to ensure an advancement. To which /biz/ would quickly get its first goal at 38. Despite what many technical analyses may claim after the fact, no one could call this game. It would be at 82 /biz/ would find a lead. Everyone thinking they were up would jump in, only to have /an/ score a 90+ leveling the game off 2-2. It seemed to be the end, but somehow be it a miracle by Sminem or a hidden rig by the Bogs /biz/ would find their last-minute goal scoring themselves an even later 90+ goal. This would push /biz/ into the elites, and would put them up against the Stormfags Trump cultists for their second round against each other this time each with a bog on their side. /biz/ and /pol/ would patriciate in an epic chess match of wit with neither team being willing to make a mistake causing everyone to hold tight to their shekels. The game would go to 80 minutes without scoring before the /biz/ manager would get a call from the bogs who would rig the game. /biz/ would score and now only would need to hold. But both after both teams had made their changes /pol/ would come out the stronger of the two and would find a goal in the dying minutes of the game putting the game into extra time. In extra time /pol/ would find another goal and would end the game with a 120+ goal to finish /biz/ off 1-3. Having lost to the Autumn cup winner, /biz/ would not be in a bad spot and for a second cup in a row the markets would look up for /biz/.
2019 - The Awareness Phase
Winter - The Moonshot
/biz/ had finished Autumn placing it into its second ever elite cup and its first ever winter cup. Optimism was abundant and the markets looking when /biz/ started, but the group stage /biz/ would enter into would not be an easy one. First /biz/ would face off against the containment board of a containment board, next they would go against the closeted furfags, and they would end their game against the man children . Due to /bant/ playing on /pol/’s cursed stadium /pol/’s cursed stadium /biz/ would take an early lead, have /bant/ equalize their lead twice but would pull ahead at 61 and would score a 90+ to finish the game off 2-4. So far /biz/ looked bullish, and against /vp/ the bullish trend would lead to /biz/ starting the game with a 4-1 lead ahead of /vp/. However, it was a bull trap, and /vp/ would recover equalizing with three goals in 5 minutes. /biz/ desperate to push ahead and continue the bull market would score another goal, but the bears would have nothing of it, equalizing /biz/ last late goal with a 90+ from /vp/. This would place /biz/ in a precarious spot in the group. If /vg/ and /vp/ won their respective games /biz/ would be relegated back to the babies. And /vp/ would win, meaning /biz/ would need to win or draw to make it to the elite Knock outs. This was easier said then done, given /vg/ was the strongest team in the group having won both their matches and given /vg/ wished to see their follow video game board pushed through. What followed was a desperate game by /biz/ lead by Sergey who successfully shut out /vg/ saving 7 shots and letting not one goal pass all the while /biz/ would score 3. /biz/ was on path to moon in the elite knock outs for the first time. First, they would need to beat the team I have no clever name for. /biz/ would due continue their moon mission in the first half scoring 4 goals placing it near the record 4-0 game /biz/ had against /sci/; however, in the second half /wg/ would find some life scoring 2 goals of their own. The rapid upward trend followed by a sudden dip made would prove the undoing of the team. /biz/ having done amazingly for 4 games caused a rumor of a crash to come against the shitposters. The FUD would work, and after having an indecisive half a massive sell off would start. /biz/’s manager would try and savage this buy off with desperate measures but it was too late and the FUD had done its work. The quarterfinal would end 3-1 for [s4s]. /biz/ would be out, but all things considered they did surprisingly well. The question would be could they keep up the upward trend?
Summer - Murphy's Law
To explain this cup properly we need a bit of background into a clusterfuck. Firstly, the move over from PES 2017 to PES 2018 was brutal with aesthetics being a major pain due to technical limitation. Next /biz/ was now coming down from a major high in winter which left them feeling cocky. Lastly, the /biz/ manager was being a fucking idiot for not asking for it to be an autopilot as we will soon see. When the groups were drawn things seemed easy enough, the teams in which were playing against them were the failed mechanics who were without a manager and were autopiloted, the oldfags (again), and virgins who need to have sex. None of these teams looked particularly strong, and /biz/ feeling strong from winter would walk in feeling a strong bull market incoming. Little would they know it would crab from here. Their first game, due to the manager not being present had /biz/ play with a pastebin, which had /biz/ see a goal in the first 2 minutes and then a response in the next 9 after. And then… Well nothing. Well, a draw is better then a lose? Surely this was a time to buy. Well despite what technical analysis may suggest it was not. Because the next game, despite both manager’s best effort ended up a boring 0-0 game reminiscent of /biz/’s starting run. And from there anyone with half a mind could see how this storyline would end. With a big red drop. But /biz/ would only need a win to continue their elite run. However, the /biz/ manager not being present and handing the pastebin to the wrong streamer would cause the prophecy to be fulfilled. On game day /biz/’s plan was not used at all, and it showed, with /biz/ quickly dropping 3 goals in a half. Everyone was selling, no buy pressure at all, but then suddenly seeing the dip causing a spike in shorts, the bogs knew they had to JUST the those who though this was going to be a major blow out. The Bogs would score twice, but knowing it would be an even greater JUST if /biz/ still lost would keep the game a loss for /biz/. And so /biz/ would be sent back to the baby cup for a run in Autumn to fullfill another prophecy…
Autumn - A Similar Story
Speaking of arks that needed a repeat, this cup happened. Shit was crabbing after /biz/ had looked good and no one knew how to feel about this. /biz/ had done poorly on all fronts in the last cup only having won most boring team, but little did anyone know behind the sense big things were at play. A prophecy was being fulfilled with the Asuka prophecy claiming BTC would be 19k by the end of October and Snowden retweeting it. /biz/ was having a massive spike in activity and so again was able to find new blood in a lot of testers giving the management time to also get their aesthetics in order, which would show up looking amazing in a cup where almost no teams had aesthetics at all. Their group was one that looked moderately strong, the angry retards looked solid, the played in exposure fags as always looked tough, and the crazy cat “ladies” looked as janky as last time they had faced off. But with Asuka at their side and a prophecy about to be fulfilled surely things were looking up. Well, their first match was a disappointment, /v/ won despite the prophecy’s fly me to the moon. /biz/ would need a win against /gd/ to keep striving towards Winter. May anons doubted it, especially after /gd/ would score on kickoff, but thanks to Snibs passing two great passes to Asuka things would go tumbling down for /gd/ as they would find themselves equalized and then down by the end of the game. /biz/ was yet again in a position where beating /an/ or drawing would allow them to cross the finish line. And just like their last game /an/ would score first placing them ahead. /biz/ would quickly answer two additional goals and from there would attempt to hold on for dear life, but with /an/ equalizing at 68 and having the momentum things looked bad. The /biz/ manager made another call to the bogs, who would hack the streamer’s audio, making the late 88 minute goal by Outdoor cat hurt slightly less as the Bogs removed its goal horn with a much better set of music (none). /biz/ was in a hole, by one and with only 2 minutes to respond it seemed over. Everyone was selling no one buying this seemed to be the end, everyone was laughing at /biz/ again. The prophecy had failed and now /biz/ was not going to advance into winter. But somehow, SOMEHOW Sminem passed THE PERFECT PASS TO THE PROPHECY. And there it was, a 90+ goal to equalize the game 3-3. /biz/ would live. She may have failed in virtual currency but Asuka had saved /biz/. /biz/’s next opponent were the degenerate weebs in the Knock Outs. Again /biz/ would give away an early goal and would look awful in the first half. But come the second half they would look amazing and would score once. Despite having a half, a dozen amazing chances and keeping /jp/ under siege for 30 entire minutes of non-stop attacking /biz/ couldn’t manage to score an additional goal. Come over time /biz/ would again blunder a goal but this time the prophecy would quickly equalize again. But alas /jp/ would get an additional goal in to which /biz/ could not respond to. Despite a strong showing, /biz/ was unable to defeat /jp/ like /pol/ was outlasted. In general, the ark was a copy paste from last Autumn, and hopefully meant that last winter would be repeated.
2020 - Rising Returns
Winter - Holding on for Dear Life
/biz/ had done it, they were back into an Elite cup. After barely scraping by on 2 draws and a win only to lose in the Round of 16 they had made it to winter. But even with the newfound fortune things didn't look good over the horizon. /biz/ was drawn into a group with 3 teams that had a powerful history, one of them held hooves, the other held D20's and that last held action figures. With the reputation of the teams in this group had, the assholes on /biz/ were flexing in panic. The first match in the group was against /toy/ and from the start, the first goal set the tone for that match, a through ball from AAAAAAAAAAAAA to the Prophecy at 5 minutes in to put /biz/ in the lead and in hopeful spirits. Despite /toy/'s dominance in the midfield and a late goal they still lost to /biz/ 2-1. With the 2nd game against /tg/, it seems like things would be on the up and up, with an early goal from AAAAAAAAAAA to secure a lead for /biz/. Only for Doomrider to score a goal 2 minutes later through a kick-off abuse header from the wing. It only continued from there with /tg/ securing the 2nd goal. The defense decided to wizen up and do its job but it wasn't enough and /biz/ lost 1-2 to /tg/. Despite /mlp/'s accolades things were looking promising for /biz/, their opponent had 2 draws in the group and was not in form for the game. In order to advance /biz/ needed a tie and it did not look good especially with /mlp/'s reputation for 90+ goal abuse. But the team managed to power through, even with the fans as volitile as they were, abusing possession, and +1 they scored 2 goals in the half. It seemed like a most dangerous lead especially when >rape scored at 60 minutes, but /biz/ managed to hodl'd until 90 to secure a win at the top of the group and a ticket to the knockouts and killing /mlp/ in the process by sending them back to the babies. Relief swept over the team as they entered the knockouts, /biz/ had an uphill battle to prove themselves. It would all come to an end in the Round of 16. /vg/ was a tough team and it certainly showed in that match, a 4-1 crushing defeat to end /biz/'s showing in the winter cup against the would-be runners up of the Winter 2020 cup. But things were looking up for the team and hopefully it would continue in Summer.
Summer- The Take Off
Winter's performance had /biz/ looking bullish and LINK's price action had /biz/ ecstatic. Their group looked similarly bullish with payed in exposurefags again, degenerated weebs proto-vtrannies with a new manager, and alcoholics. Of the group /gd/ and /ck/ looked the most dangerous, but /biz/ would luck out with the /gd/ manager working on aesthetics so much (for free btw) that he neglected to get the team into shape. But despite this supposed lucky break /biz/ would like the last time they went up against /gd/ get dumped on by Glitch art in the first few minutes. But /biz/ had acquired strong hands over time and no one was reading or selling the bad news. AAAAAAAAHHHH would follow up and equalize a few minutes later, but all would be for not as Bobo, the shorting fuck, pretty much passed the ball straight to the /gd/ offense to let them score on /biz/ all so he could short. But no one was going to fall for his tricks, and seeing that he couldn't slurp anything after AAAAAAAAHHHHH equalized he was forced to buy back in at a loss when he scored at 84 minutes winning /biz/ the game. Their first hard game under their belt, /jp/ would be up next, and the game was an easy win, with /jp/ only scoring at 90+1 because /biz/ almost felt bad for the team getting dunked on so hard. /ck/ would be the last team in the group, and /biz/ had already advanced so the manager allowed the new co-manager to take charge for the game. /biz/ was winning the game solidly but attempted to try to make changes after their defense allowed a goal to be scored. Well this backfired, and /ck/ would get a win out of the result. This caused some unrest in the /biz/ markets as if it was an ill omen of something to come.
Speaking of ill omens, /biz/ would face the schitzos in the KOs. Not much to say here, /biz/ walked in shorted /x/ walked out 3-0 proving once in for all /biz/ was the better board at reading obscure signs to divine the future and making a massive profit. Outdoor shiters was /biz/'s last resistance to their final bullmarket. If they could beat /out/ it'd be /u/ and then whoever made it to the final. /biz/ was ready, their charts showed they were destined for the golden bullrun. And half way into the game with /biz/ up by 1 it looked to be the case. But then, the bogs called, and the bull market became a bear market by informing the /out/ team the exact instruction on how to beat /biz/. Out having moved their defensive line up scored not once but twice making it so that even Sminem couldn't save /biz/, and /biz/'s death would lead directly to /u/'s second star. Truly a dark time. But even with that news /biz/ fans were still holding. None of them had sold and they would await the next bullish momentum to come.
2021 - New Paradigm
Winter - Great Green Dildo
Well, that bullish momentum had carried over all throughout the summer and into the winter, with /biz/ exploding into the golden bullrun of 2021. The markets not only looked up but as did /biz/’s prospects of coming home. And with the group called, /biz/’s bullishness would have anyone buying them as the top spot of the group, with the discount graphic artists (that’s saying something), manchildren again, and europoors all being in the same group, with both the manchildren and europoors under new, and doubtful management. /biz/’s moon mission would start with a massive green candle stick, the /biz/ manager boldly stating that the team was all in this together, and that if they visualized, let their minds and wills become money, /biz/ would kill /3/ 5-1. To everyone’s surprise, the madman visualized, and the markets pumped as the /biz/ buyers saw the writing on the wall with /biz/ not only defeating, not even clobbering, but breaking /biz/’s record for biggest win. The bullrun would continue, with /biz/ facing /toy/, and make them kneel as /biz/ proved keeping the manchild merch in the box is a better investment then taking it out to play in a 4-1 victory. With this win, /biz/ was already through and after all the /biz/ fans successfully shorted /3/ who spooned after looking to be the second most competent team in the group would play /int/ in a meme game to determine who seeded first in their group. The bullrun had no breaks, and despite /int/’s manager being new and having some gay idea about “having fun” meaning throwing the game, /biz/ had fun blowing /int/ the fuck out in a 4-0 victory.
/biz/ buyers were ecstatic. This green candle kept going up and up and seemed to be unstoppable. It had already tied for the record for most goals in a group stage, and /biz/ seemed unstoppable. With the knockouts begging it seemed to be the start of /biz/’s final push to win a star and hit the golden bullrun not only in crypto, but in the cup. Their opponent would be /n/, who, like /biz/ had not lost a match in their group stage, all be it, having drawn every match. Yet when /n/ entered with /biz/ fans fanatically shorting /n/ and longing /biz/, to everyone’s surprise /n/ would score first, and then again against /biz/ in quick succession. /biz/ would quickly close down on the bleeding and keep /n/ at bay; and yet, the /biz/ attack which had steamrolled everyone else was not present in the first half. The /biz/ buyers began to hear FUD as the second half began and /biz/’s attack still struggled. The match would stay as it was till the end with /biz/ fans still in disbelief as their profits that they believed were locked in were liquidated in a flash crash. Maybe /biz/ was just facing easy teams, maybe /biz/ was a paper tiger, like fiat based on nothing and a ponzi scheme? /biz/ would exit the winter cup having a massive green dildo behind it, and the hope that the next cup would not fuck it up after the group ended.
World - The Eternal Crab Market
/biz/ would walk into summer to find that this was not summer at all however, it would be the 10th anniversary of the cup, making the cup into the 4chan world cup, with 64 teams playing on an entirely new PES, with many long dead teams. Despite the large number of teams in the world cup, the cup would remain with groups of 4, and would have all teams qualify be they baby teams or elite teams like /biz/ itself. The bullmarket was still in full swing on the board and the team despite having some questions felt good given the last cup’s performance having won all games besides against the winter cup champion. Optimistic, /biz/’s group would confirm their hope as it was not a bad group, facing the “those are men”, men drama, and the nerds. Their first match would be against /s/, who /biz/ would be blown out leading to a reoccurring question of the FUD that had plagued /biz/ at the end of their last cup. Many diehards would sell thinking it was at last over as /s/ went up by 2, mirroring /n/’s last victory over /biz/. However, the tides would be turn in the second half, as /biz/ equalized with 2 goals in quick succession. Against /asp/ with the FUD ongoing no one would be shocked as /biz/ was down at 80 minutes by 1. It seemed to be the end till out of left field, the man, the legend, the person added back on the team as a meme to remind everyone of the last 6 years, Carlos Matos of New York city New York would score at 89 minutes to equalize the game, again 2-2.
/biz/ had lost no games, but also not won a single game. It was not unheard of for teams to advance on all draws, /n/ had done so last cup and then won the entire cup, yet going into their final day /biz/ would need /asp/ to win, and then /biz/ would need to defeat or draw /sci/ who had lost against /asp/ and drawn against /s/. Despite the FUD, /asp/ would defeat /s/ leaving it to /biz/. The market was volatile as could be in the last match of the group, with /sci/ scoring the first goal the entire market crashed, yet /biz/’s quick response would have the team draw and confidence to be restored. /sci/’s 45+2 goal would cause another sudden drop as /biz/ fans prepared for the worse, yet /biz/ would not only equalize at the start of the next half, but would at 83 go ahead placing /biz/ in its safe spot as what seemed to guaranteed portion on what was finally a win. However, at the last moment, /sci/ would equalize, not removing /biz/ from their advancement into the knockouts, but hurting /biz/’s overall consumer confidence.
The overall sentiment of the market seemed to be crabish at this point everyone understood this would be a crab market till the end. /biz/ would face /mu/ who similar to /biz/ last time was undefeated and never had drawn. What would happen against /mu/ would be a story of a legend, Sergey who had been taken out of the goal, would be made to shot for the cup, and in this game, he would break the record for most goals from one player in a half, scoring 4 times. Yet /mu/ was not without teeth having score twice in the first half and in the second would score one at 57 and another just near the end at 87, putting both teams into overtime. Both teams would attempt as hard as they could, yet neither gave space for each other to score place the end result at 4-4 to be resolved with a penalty shootout. /mu/ just like England would have both of their black men miss their penalty kicks causing a /biz/ win allowing /biz/ to move forward and face /p/ in the ground of 16. /p/’s manager who had made the patch however would not be defeated easily, and with /p/ scoring a kickoff goal not only in the first half, but in the second would prove to much for /biz/. Despite the confidence reinstated after the /mu/ win /biz/ would still prove too bearish this cup to match its performance in the crypto sphere. /biz/ fans would sell as /p/ would advance on a 1-2 win for /p/. /biz/ had risen in the last cup, and crabbed in this cup. The question was, is this the slow down or merely the start of a new paradigm.
Winter - Trancending
As winter had come /biz/ had cooled down, but not without the news that the bogs had transcended into the blockchain. It would be this somber mood full of FUD that the /biz/ team would enter into another winter cup. And immediately the FUD would begin, as the group proved to be one of the strongest /biz/ had been placed into for years with the sperges who had for the last few cups seemed very strong, the hipsters whom /biz/ had barely defeated in their KO game in the world cup, and the boomers who had temporarily set the record for highest goal differential for a group stage of 4 games. Those who were not in the know would short /biz/, for surely the team that had advanced on 4 draws in the last cup could not manage to survived such a group of death. It was with this that /biz/ would face /sp/, to which despite /sp/’s early success /biz/ would equalize and then gain the lead over /sp/. /sp/ proved its competency yet again however by equalizing at 83, forcing /biz/’s longs to be liquidated and the team to yet again be placed in doubt on the 3-3 draw.
/mu/ would be up next, and would come at /biz/ with not only with fun custom hype and /biz/’s newly revealed cyber bogs but a surprise change in tactics which would lead to /biz/ falling for their own FUD, and panic selling. /biz/ grimly would walk out of the game having been BTFOed 1-4 by /mu/, making it so not only would they have to win their next game against /vr/, but would need /sp/ to win. /vr/, the team that had won their last group stage undefeated with a goal differential of 13. Even the /biz/ managers were starting to accept that it was over. On game day with this somber mood /biz/ would walk onto the pitch, with nothing to lose, and because of this would have everything to win. Scoring on kickoff and then putting /vr/ under constant pressure as /biz/ would then score again and again with /vr/ only managing to make 2 conciliation goals in a absolutely brutal 6-2 game, with /biz/ breaking the record for most shots with 100% accuracy at 15 shots and 15 on target and /biz/ biggest win, allowing /biz/ to sigh in relief, as now even a /mu/ victory could allow /biz/ to advance into the knockouts. To which given /mu/ would convincingly lose in their next game would be unnecessary, allowing /biz/ to advance once again into the knockouts.
/biz/’s opponent in the round of 16 would be /adv/, not an impressive team, and many claimed did not deserve to even be in the knockouts. Despite this, people did not rate /biz/ all that highly either and despite the hopium injected into the market with the /vr/ match FUD still was persistent. Yet on game day, despite /adv/ looking dangerous at the start, /biz/ would quickly score 2 goals and take a firm lead. The next move that was made surprised many, as /biz/ would then go -2, a mentality for moving the team to be as defensive as possible and sacrifices all the offensive capabilities of the team. For the next 50 minutes nothing would happen, as it looked as if /biz/ would easily coast their way to a 2-0 victory, then suddenly, /biz/ would score twice more against /adv/ leading to a dominating 4-0 blow out in /biz/’s favor. This would allow /biz/ into the quarter final, against the unlikely /y/, a historically joke of a board/team. Yet despite some saying not to over think the charts, many bought into /y/ thinking that the /y/ miracle would continue, in fact FUD was told within the /biz/ manager circle that this joke team had a extremely powerful export and just might kill /biz/. Well spoiler, it didn’t the rug was pulled and /y/ collapsed the next day as they faced /biz/, losing in a 5pa1nful 5-1, making this /biz/’s 3rd game in a row where it had won by 4 goals. Not only that but this would make it so /biz/ would advance into its first ever semifinal, and regardless of /biz/’s result, /biz/ had already come further then it ever had before in its history.
Against /biz/, who it seemed was experiencing a goldenbullrun would be the undefeated europoors of /int/ once again, now battle hardened, and with no short grudge against /biz/ for murdering them 2 cups ago in the 4-0 victory and ignoring their dumb opinion on what was “fun” (because gains are fun.) /int/ seething at the mouth refused to take /biz/ up on a joke deal of using -2 all game long, and despite /int/ being a pussy /biz/ would commit to -2 near the start of the game. /int/ would because of this score on kickoff, and even with all the market volatility, all the FUD, and those from /int/ and the cup in general screaming for /biz/ anons to sell, they would just laugh back at them while saying, “not selling.” And they wouldn’t as /biz/ would not change a thing, and despite /int/’s first goal, /biz/ would score not only 1 goal, but 2 before /int/ realized that maybe they should have taken /biz/ up on going -2 the entire game. Well that ship had sailed, /biz/ was now up, and despite /int/ moving to -2, and even +2, where the team scarifies almost all its defensiveness in favor of attack, the score would remain 2-1 with /biz/ victorious, yet again, over /int/.
You do see what this means don’t you? /biz/ had made it to the final. And not any final, a final on /biz/’s birthday, during the cup in honor of the day the bogs ascended to the blockchain, against /x/ of all teams. It seemed clear, it was a sign and all the /biz/ lifelongs were holding on as it began to dawn on them it was coming home. /x/ and /biz/ would walk out on the pitch, and both teams would fight tooth and nail for the ball. /x/’s defense seemed unbreakable, and /biz/’s attack relentless. Yet it was a diving header from dog coin season that would put /biz/ ahead. Not AAAAAAAAAHHHHH, or Sminem, or either of the bogs. But dog, coin, season. Memes became dreams and many began to buy at the top. Yet 60 minutes of the game still remained, and both /biz/ and /x/ would come dangerously close to scoring, both teams hitting the post of the goal several times. Yet, in the end, /x/ calling for +2 at 85 minutes would lead to /biz/’s AAAAAAHHHHHHHH scoring the final goal, representing the internal scream of the /x/ management as their future broke down, and the ecstatic scream of /biz/ who had finally, FINALLY, MADE IT. BROS WE ALL MADE IT! IT CAME HOME! MOON MISSION COMPLETE!
Summer - The New Normal
/biz/ came into the tournament confident from their win in Winter, despite the new patch and the draw results it didn't seem to bother the newly crowned Elite Champions. The 1st match being against the crazy cat lady's followed after by paid in "exposure" fags (again) with the newly minted mic spamming appreciators to round out the group stage. Given the past match ups with /an/ & /gd/ as well as /vm/'s previous performance, /biz/ was expected to make this group a clean sweep to the top. /biz/ was confident. Maybe too much so...
The first match against /an/ was a clean 4-0 win that seemed to set the tone for future games to come. With /an/ going +1 at the start, bobo in his new mech suit was the 1st to dab on them and AAAAAAAAHHH attempted a shot in the net only for it to bounce of the post. The atmosphere was set, the hyp was on and it had only been 15 minutes in. The constant pressure that was being put on /an/ was to much and The (now ascended) Bogs scored a goal to round out the 1st half with a green candle. Even with a tactics change the constant attacking pressure from /biz/ sealed the match with Bobo's brace and AAAAAAAAAAAHHH's only goal both in quick succession. It was a crushing defeat for /an/ and one that would help send them back to the babbies. But more importantly: for the 1st time EVER /biz/ was at a positive GD score, Lets hope it never goes back down again.
With /biz/ winning the last elite and /gd/ coming 1st in the babies it was time for another Stupor Cup but this time, it actually mattered. Like with the last game /biz/ had not lost to /gd/ in any previous matchup and it was expected for /biz/ to win ((again)x2). Both teams went on attack at in the 1st half but it was only in the 36th minute that the ball was finally put in the back of the net. By /gd/. With a cheeky header of all things. not one to be left out /biz/ scored a (somewhat) quick counter to level the game at the half. Both teams seemed to be in a deadlock for the 2nd half with neither side gaining the upper hand for a good 35 minutes. /gd/ had a better attack but the majority of them were always off target but /biz/ having a never selling mentality, they didn't have that problem and the screaming wojack putting it into the back of the net to tie it up for /biz/
With those 2 wins /biz/ was confirmed into the knockouts, so it was decided that it might be time to relax a bit and focus on other teams who the team might play against next. But when you get careless, there will be something (or someone) out there to mess you up. Weather it was the Bogs calling it in or Bobo deciding to take a dump on the teams performance, /biz/ lost the match against /vm/ by a single goal. With both teams scoring early the match seemed like it would be a patented /sp/ tier match(tm) only for the bunny hopping speed demon on /vm/ to put one in at the final minutes of the game for their only win in the group. Regardless of this /biz/ had advanced and was ready to continue on in the knockouts with the goal of reaching the top again.
The matches were drawn and the next team was /v/. Immediately after starting the went -1, an unusual strategy but one that seemed to pay off with the 1st half ending 0-0 despite the constant attacks from the frontmen. The 2nd half however was a massive momentum shift for /v/. A quick counter followed by a 1-1 equaliser was quickly rendered moot when /v/ scored twice in the last 20 minutes of the game. The match was over and /biz/ was out of the running, proving that once again you cant always throw money (or even shitcoins) at a problem and expect it to go away. /v/ would eventually take the star for themselves after beating /biz/ in the round of 16.
Winter -
Game History
Main page: /biz/ Game History
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Rivalries
/g/
Crypto Derby |
0-1-0 |
/pol/
Bogda Bowl |
0-1-1 |
/x/
Divination Derby |
4-0-1 |
Stats, Awards & Records
Stats
Fowards
Player | Goals | Assists | MotM |
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH | 51 | 23 | 9 |
Bogged | 28 | 20 | 6 |
Sminem | 19 | 31 | 6 |
Money Skeleton | 14 | 5 | 6 |
Bear Market Bobo | 7 | 5 | 0 |
Sergey of Nazareth | 4 | 2 | 1 |
Dog Coin Season | 1 | 0 | 1 |
OHHHHHHHH LINKIES | 1 | 3 | 0 |
XMRChan | 1 | 2 | 0 |
Lambo | 1 | 0 | 0 |
Golden Mumu | 1 | 0 | 0 |
Snib Snib | 0 | 2 | 0 |
BBBRRRRRRRRR | 0 | 1 | 0 |
BTC is getting fucked | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Goalkeepers
Player | Saves | MotM |
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Sergey of Nazareth | 114 | 1 |
Previous Players
Fowards
Player | Goals | Assists | MotM |
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Martin Shkreli | 9 | 3 | 6 |
Ethercuck | 7 | 0 | 2 |
Warren Buffet | 7 | 3 | 1 |
Financial Ruin | 7 | 0 | 1 |
Bitcoin Millionaire | 4 | 8 | 0 |
80s Guy | 4 | 2 | 0 |
Trump Coin | 2 | 1 | 0 |
Forex | 1 | 1 | 0 |
Idea Guy | 1 | 0 | 0 |
Yatch | 1 | 0 | 0 |
BITCONEEEEEEECT | 1 | 0 | 0 |
Step 1 be a Jew | 0 | 2 | 0 |
Robinhood | 0 | 2 | 0 |
Sell Me This Pen | 0 | 2 | 0 |
Bag Holders | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Pyramid Scheme | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Accounting Major | 0 | 1 | 0 |
$1/Pop | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Neet | 0 | 0 | 1 |
How I Get Rich? | 0 | 0 | 1 |
Goalkeepers
Player | Saves | MotM |
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Firm Hand Shake | 54 | 0 |
Money Skeleton | 10 | 0 |
Hodl | 8 | 0 |
>Ebay | 4 | 0 |
Scrooge McDuck | 4 | 0 |
NO CASH OUT | 3 | 0 |
Sharpie In Pooper | 3 | 0 |
DR;NS | 2 | 0 |
Janet Yellen | 2 | 0 |
Black Monday | 2 | 0 |
Awards
2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
Worst Manager
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup
Best New Player2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
Best Stadium
2019 4chan Summer Cup
Least Exciting Team
2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup
Best Kits
Best New Model
Best Overall Aesthetics
Best alt-horn
2020 4chan Summer Cup
Golden Ball
2022 4chan Winter Cup
1st place
Team of the Tournament
Best Overall Aesthetics
Best Goalhorn2022 4chan Summer Cup
Best Overall Aesthetics
Records
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Management
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Trivia
- Up until the /biz/ vs /an/ game in Summer 2022, /biz/ had never been on positive Goal Difference before
- The total number of times /biz/ has appeared in an elite cup is 10
- Of those elite cups 7 have been consecutive (not counting World). Winter 2020 - Summer 2023
- Dog Coin Season is the only non medal to get MotM
- 4 Teams have beaten /biz/ in the Knockouts to then go on to win the cup. Spring 2016:/m/, Autumn 2018:/pol/, Winter 2021:/n/, Summer 2022:/v/. Coincidence? Who knows.
- /biz/ was managerless for 131 Days
- /biz/ won its 1st Elite cup on the teams 8th year anniversary in the competition
- The IRL Bogdanoff brothers died shortly before this happened :(
- /biz/ has the highest Efficiency and Goal Differential in the Sixth Founding
Exports and Music
2023
2023 4chan Winter Cup |
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2022
2022 4chan Winter Cup |
2021
2021 4chan World Cup |
2021 4chan Winter Cup |
2020
2020 4chan Summer Cup |
2020 4chan Winter Cup |
2019
2019 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2019 4chan Summer Cup |
2019 4chan Winter Cup |
2018
2018 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2017
2017 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2016
2016 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2016 4chan Summer Cup |
2016 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2016 4chan Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers |
2015
2015 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
2015 4chan Spring Babby Cup |
2014
2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup |
Contact
For autisim & testing: Discord
wand !!mZEulPrzZDp
- IRC: wand
- Discord: Wand#7138
Ryperiour2 !!oczH3VqQg6N
- Matrix: @r2____:matrix.org
- Discord: R2#9510
- Email: r2.4cc.benis@gmail.com
plus !!IfFZMaPmcC7
- IRC: plus
- Discord: plus#0375
- Email: pluspes1488@gmail.com
- Telegram: @plusbiz
Misc
Related Teams
Achievements | ||
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Elite Cups | ||
Preceded by 2021 /n/ |
Winter Champions 2022 (1st title) |
Incumbent |
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