Former Players
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N°
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Name
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Picture
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Description
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16
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>travelling with gf
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I sure hope you guys don't do that.
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420
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Amsterdam Stonerbro
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Loves to frequent "coffee shops" when not hashing his opponents. He will constantly ask you which is the best to visit, as if he had forgotten he just asked the day before. Don't let the glazed expression and shaggy hair fool you, he is one of the Dutch fields' finest buds, with eyes only for the green!
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7
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Transsiberian Drinking Adventure (formerly Boris Transsiberyan)
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As soon as you realize there is nothing to do during the weeklong trip, you revert to a familiar way of fighting off boredom.
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92
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wtf Pakistan looks like THIS?
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"I bet you, an ignorant first worlder, never knew that Pakistan looks like pic related! Please follow my endless shill threads to become convinced".
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37
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Minsk Ladder Salesman
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This humble Belarussian man cements the defense, using an old trick on the unsuspecting opponents. Backstory.
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16
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Fückse Ibiza
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One of the Bundesliga's most prominent members, coaxed out of his love of being surrounded only by his own countrymen no matter where he goes -- which is always to Spanish islands. Notoriously cranky around those verdammt Inselaffen. He will reserve a spot for the ball in the opponents net promptly at 7:30 in the morning and will not relent until it is there. Was found lying unconcious in a pool of vomit outside Pacha shortly after the 2013 4chan Summer Cup and quietly dropped from the squad.
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17
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Chris McCandless
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An icon of /trv/. A loner, and considered too self-righteous by his team-mates, "Supertramp" was nevertheless quick, fearless and has endless stamina, even if sometimes to his detriment. Hated berries and being told what to do. McCandless went his own way, as usual, after the 2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies, joining new team /out/, before fittingly disappearing altogether from the Cup.
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23
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>Bumping on /trv/
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Always at the top, but for no good reason. Impatient and obviously new to the team, but occasionally has something to contribute, even if known for storming off to the lockers if he doesn't get his way, right away. Banished quickly.
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41
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Wiki Dreamin'
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Not much can be said of Wiki Dreamin', 3rd choice goalkeeper until he was dropped following the 2013 4chan Winter Cup having not played a single game in goal for the team, only coming on as a centre forward against /sci/ in Autumn 2012 so others would not be fatigued. Spent far too long dreaming of epic journeys to foreign fields on Wikitravel and not enough time training.
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4
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Itsa Slowboard
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Slow and steady wins the race, don't forget the sagely pace. Slowboard is known to frequently quibble with refs and other visiting teams' players who don't appreciate his patient methodical style. Did you even read the sticky? Earned a place in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup All-Stars squad in recogniton of /trv/ only conceding a single goal in the group stage, then a joint Cup record, under his watch. Finally fell off page 10 and retired prior to the 2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup.
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8
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VICEguy
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A "journalist" in his day-job, Shane Smith has seen it all: from the sex dens and dictatorships of the Far East to the bloody civil wars of post-colonial Africa. Expect to be similarly mesmerised by his skills on the football pitch. Lost focus and dropped before the 2017 4chan Spring Babby Cup, spending too much time arguing about politics instead of doing what the fans and coaches wanted to see.
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12
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Noobius Expedia
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Rarely used Goalkeeper, except by idiots. His wicked, if unintended, Free Kick against /sci/ earned Noobius a place in the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup All-Stars squad, and a stint as Player of the Week as one of the few scoring keepers in Cup history. Released before the 2017 4chan Summer Cup for demanding unexpected exorbitant fees.
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19
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Sven Scandiboo
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"Did you guys know Norway is one of the most developed, least religious nations on earth? Isn't that awesome?" The only thing Sven cherishes more than fermented fish and his absence of any social skills or warmth, is his equitable sharing of the ball and sense of justice and fair play. A noticeable change in his political opinions on Scandinavia and visa problems before the 2017 4chan Summer Cup led to his dismissal from the squad.
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23
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Light Packer
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He may only have brought two shirts and one pair of socks to last him the entire tournament, but at least he didn't have to pay for extra baggage. Known to frequently clash with other players over his questionable personal hygiene, and the excessive time he spends stood around the laundry room undressed.
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3
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Nigel Roppongi
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No one is quite able to say how long this Nigerian-born player has been in the Japanese leagues, but he speaks fluent Japanese and is said to have had a few Japanese wives. When not making white tourists in Japan feel inadequate and uncomfortable, he is forcefully daring his opponents to even try to enter his space.
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14
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Billy "Bali" Bogan
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An Australian national hero. When not surfing or buying out entire tiny island shops of all their beer, Bogan loves to hang around with all 30 of his like-minded mates, get new tribal tattoos, style his mullet, and start fights. But don't think that means you should underestimate him on the field, ya cunts.
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15
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Neckbeard TEFL
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Neckbeard has spent years in the Asian leagues, teaching young Koreans, Chinese, Vietnamese and Japanese how to pass a ball and chant the most offensive football songs in English. While his teaching credentials may be questionable, his skills on the field are no joke. Neckbeard is notable for advocating chastity, though he insists he could have any woman he wants, as "lusty thoughts detract from thrusty shots".
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17
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Dougie Canuckflag
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Born in a small hamlet on the border with Saskatchewan and North Dakota, Dougie is rumoured to nonetheless be American by passport, but is seldom seen without a Canadian flag patched on his luggage and frequent declarations of how much he loves the Queen, maple syrup and ice hockey. Just in case. However, there is no mystery to the quiet ferocity with which he plays.
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18
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Sickof Murrica
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From the plains of Nebraska, Murrica is a down-home corn-fed country boy. And he can be found anywhere that is not the damnable USA. When not contemplating the merits of Tibetan Buddhism, Scandinavian social welfare or New Zealand immigration details, he can be found at the nearest Starbucks or McDonalds, planning his next great move in the world's sport that none of his stupid countrymen understand.
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5
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Luke Skyscanner
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All in the blink of an eye, Skyscanner never makes a move without first scrutinizing all possible ways to get to the goal in the most effective and quickest manner, even if it means foregoing a direct shot by himself, as he is always keen to assist his fellow travellers.
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19
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Chin Ka-Sol
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A relatively new player in the global game, with wads of cash to splash, and a coach-load of extended family in tow. If he cannot respect the cultures, monuments or public urination laws of the countries he visits, do not expect him to respect his opponents!
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7
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Superpornowat Farangbang
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Flexible in all meanings of the word, whether vaulting over stiff opposition or penetrating through tight holes. Some rumours say this Thai hero might be a woman, and is actually a foreigner. But with the face of an angel, and composition rigid as an iron rod, balls rarely pass Farangbang without a sweaty story to tell. A frequent companion to /trv/ star player Sex Tourist both on and off the pitch.
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20
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Benjamin Birthright
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Whilst his Jewish ancestry might be questionable, his technical ability with the ball at his feet is certainly not. Benjamin's experience in taking advantage of free trips to the Promised Land, whilst withstanding the constant pressure to make him permanently move there, will put him in good stead in /trv/'s midfield.
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21
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James "Hopper" Vagabond
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Though he lost a finger to a boxcar jump gone wrong, James has played short hauls in teams across Canada, USA, Mexico, Mongolia and Australia. When the whistle blows, the Hopper is already ducking and unseen by conductors, yard bosses and referees alike.
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11
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Gapyah Backpacker
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One of the younger members of the team, fresh from his trip to Burma where he stayed at an intensive 12-week jungle training camp, funded by his parents and the Myanamar correctional services. He is untested for tournaments, but his father is a corporate team sponsor. Gapyah plans to become a barrister or a Tory politician once he completes his studies at Oxford. Known for his subtle yet biting remarks on the field to opponents of middle-class origins, naturally he ignores working-class peasants.
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