/hm/
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Last on the field, first in the locker room. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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/hm/ - Handsome Men | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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In the back corner of 4chan, kicking its own can with fellow fap boards /s/ and /gif/ while visiting strange weeb cousin /y/ on the weekends, lies /hm/, a board of TRUE men. Big, Hairy, Loveable and Cuddly, the bears of this board bring their own force to the cup. They're masters of the art of drawing matches and leave entire stadiums hot and sweaty with their homo-erotic charge of hype, and always looking to up their game with a nice round of Soccer Practice. Even unmanaged, they've been able to march through to the Top 8 in the Autumn Babby Cup, and while some riggy diggy happened in the following Winter season followed by a huge hiatus throughout 2013, these men are primed, oiled, and ready to charge into the competition and wind up on top.
Important Links
Kits - http://www.mediafire.com/download/nkh4fx6sd4tu8f1/hm.rar
Faces and Hats - http://www.mediafire.com/download/m4gdfa65nxufccm/hm.rar
Export - http://www.mediafire.com/download/agr7kjmfja98ptw/BEARFORCE1.rar
HEY SOU, HERE'S THE FA CUP EXPORT
http://www.mediafire.com/download/l9d2k5uqahwwcot/handsome+stuff.rar
Team History
Forged in the Summer of 2012 and debuting their first performance in an exhibition against /h/, the Handsome Men of /hm/ started off their career on a high note. Marching into the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup unmanaged, a shaky Group Stage against /mlp/, /diy/, and /3/ had many questioning the legitimacy of the gay team against fellow newcomer and apparent strongman /trv/ in the Round of 16. A commanding match ending with a 3-0 trouncing of the Frequent Flyer board, and /hm/ placed in the Top 8 of the Babby tournament.
The next cup would forever seal the team as a top-tier player in the big leagues. Grouped with /d/, /v/, and /ck/, it was average fare for the stalwart squadron, hosting a new lead Center Forward with the loudest of roars. A win against the dickgirls and a loss against the vidya left new manager Falcon71 in a touch of a predicament against /ck/; win or be relegated. After two quick goals from fresh blood Bearforce, the /ck/ manager had a breakdown and gave up altogether on the match, letting /hm/ have their way with Nachos and friends. What followed was a record-tying run, Bearforce scoring a one-time-matched five goals and partner striker Disturbia earning her own brace. The Cinderella story would end there, as the one ebin meme /hm/ produced was disqualified from playing against /a/, and despite an early Bearforce goal, the team was sent tumbling out of the 2013 4chan Winter Cup.
The hard times wouldn't end there, as with the advent of Dragongate, /hm/'s Elite Cup run was deemed illegitimate, and the team was sent tumbling back to the babbies. Managerless for qualification, /vg/ was sent to play in the 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup in the team's stead while the handsome men were sent into a coma. For a year, the team would be silent. A spark on October 31st, 2013 in the form of Gayman Alpha re-ignited the team, swapping out old, tired players who had lost their relevance and bringing in a new squadron of fresh blood. Zayn Malik and Ryan Reynolds quickly earned their keep in Friendly matches against /fit/ and /y/, and they looked to the 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup for their return to glory and a place amongst the top 10 teams. However, /hm/'s only win this season was 2-0 against /out/, with /fa/ taking themselves a 1-0 victory before successive 5-2 demolitions by /lgbt/ and /b/. /hm/ finished with 3 points and 36th out of 40 overall, only above /adv/, /out/, /d/, and /m/. Drawn into what many considered one of the tougher groups the 2014 Autumn Babby had to offer, /hm/'s time to shine would have to take a backseat once more.
A first match against /c/ proved a promising 0-0 thriller; with seven saves by the cute animu grills' keeper preventing an early /hm/ win. /c/ had performed decently against Group C titan /mlp/ before choking away a two-goal lead, and optimistic views for the seamen followed the match into the next day. Despite learning a bunch of technology while overseas, /hm/ could not best the boys from /g/ and lost 2-1 after a hopeful comeback goal from Madison Nicole. The next match would have them face the 2014 Winter Cup Champions /trv/ in a Fourth Founding strongman rematch from the original Autumn Babby tournament. After a 70' crash, Madison once again disturbed crowds with a goal, only for the admirable /hm/ defense to slip up and allow Couchsurfer Rapist a quick equalizer. With two draws and one loss in the bag, it was impossible for /hm/ to advance as they prepared for their final opponent, the dreaded 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Champions, /mlp/. Finally, the Ellen pitch was ready, and the men took to the field. Stalwart performances by eventual Man of the Match Zitler, 77 powerhouses STDSTDSTD & Daddy Issues set up many chances for /hm/ to put the ponies down while the gayboi's back line stood strong, barely allowing any chance for a horsecock to assume a dominant position over the bears. In the 50th minute, the queen of /hm/ and glorious team captain Ellen found her shot from a midfield lob by Bearforce and finally got past The Burdened, /mlp/'s top keeper. The match would remain in /hm/ control with some fluctuations towards the very end, but the scoreline stayed stagnant even through four minutes of injury time. Though they were still forced to play in Spring, all of /hm/ let out a mighty roar, knowing that they had stopped the horsefuckers from achieving the status of "12 Point Master Race", and did far better than their previous showing. As they look to the Spring Babby, rumors of medal swapping and a return to PES12 fuel the resurgence of /hm/ in familiar, dominated territory.
/hm/'s standard-issue Navy Kit.
Now in black! (caps to be ordered from TP Inc.)
Fixtures & Music
Next Fixture: 2015 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies
Opponents: /w/ & /n/
Music: /w/: Bearforce Horn, Justin Bieber Horn (start @ 00:28)
Kits: /w/: Black Navy Kits
/n/: Throwback Pink Polo
Instructions: http://puu.sh/epFQl/ffee22a6c4.png Preset 1 for /w/, 2 for /n/. The paste is simply to make sure everyone's in their place and there isn't a spare Silver somewhere
Players
For Main Article, visit /hm/ Roster please note it will be severly outdated until spring or summer
/hm/ Squad: Winter '14 Friendlies - Summer '14 Friendlies
From Left to Right
Back Row: Twink, Anderson Cooper, Zayn Malik, Wincest Cousin, Sean Cody
Front Row: STDSTDSTD, Marshmallow, Bearforce, Straight Best Friend, Ryan Reynolds, Jesse Starr
Penetration Strategies
Preset 1
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Rivalries
/lgbt/ - Degenerate Derby |
Gay porn vs gay discussion. It cant end well. And at the end, don't forgot to check your privilege.
/hm/ has failed twice to best their little brother |
0-0-2 |
/y/ - Gay Off Derby |
Lovers outside of the cup, rivals in the cup. This derby shows off new heights of gay abuse and bashing in the 4chan Cup. These two clubs have met twice on the field, most recently with a 2-1 victory to the mars/hm/allows.
/hm/ doms with a win and a draw apiece. |
1-1-0 |
/s/ - Alternate Lifestyle Derby |
Ewwwwwwww, girls have cooties! Especially lesbian ones.
This rivalry has remained surprisingly quiet, with only a draw between the two teams. |
0-1-0 |
Match History
Official Matches
Results marked in grey have been struck from the record due to Dragongate.
Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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September 9, 2012 | /s/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 3-3 D | Jake Gyllenhaal 19' Anderson Cooper 37' Blonde Fernando Torres 88' |
September 22, 2012 | /diy/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Blonde Fernando Torres 29' |
September 29, 2012 | /y/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Blonde Fernando Torres 53' |
October 13, 2012 | /mlp/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2-2 D | Anderson Cooper 68' Blonde Fernando Torres 88' |
October 14, 2012 | /diy/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-0 L | |
October 19, 2012 | /3/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2-1 W | Anderson Cooper 37', 78' |
October 20, 2012 | /trv/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup - Round of 16 | 3-0 W | Blonde Fernando Torres 16' Ellen 22' Anderson Cooper 61' |
October 21, 2012 | /wg/ | 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup - Round of 8 | 3-1 L | Blonde Fernando Torres 84' |
December 22, 2012 | /cm/ | 2013 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Blonde Fernando Torres 8' |
February 9, 2013 | /d/ | 2013 4chan Winter Cup | 1-0 W | Disturbia 81' |
February 15, 2013 | /v/ | 2013 4chan Winter Cup | 2-1 L | Bearforce 81' |
February 17, 2013 | /ck/ | 2013 4chan Winter Cup | 7-2 W | Bearforce 8', 32', 45+1', 65', 82' Disturbia 47', 90+2' |
February 23, 2013 | /a/ | 2013 4chan Winter Cup - Round of 16 | 2-1 L | Bearforce 5' |
April 5, 2013 | /k/ | 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Disturbia 34' |
April 12, 2013 | /fa/ | 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Bearforce 15' |
July 19th 2013 | /lgbt/ | 2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 2-0 L | |
January 18th 2014 | /fit/ | 2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 2-1 L | Ryan Reynolds 45+' |
January 19th, 2014 | /y/ | 2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 2-1 W | STDSTDSTD 21' Ryan Reynolds 83' |
April 6th, 2014 | /out/ | 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 2-0 W | Bearforce 32', 48' |
April 12th, 2014 | /fa/ | 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 1-0 L | |
April 13th, 2014 | /lgbt/ | 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 5-2 L | Bearforce 7' STDSTDSTD 86' |
April 19th, 2014 | /b/ | 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup | 5-2 L | Bearforce 43' Moot's Jawline 90+' |
June 6th, 2014 | /gif/ | 2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 0-0 D | |
June 7th, 2014 | /s4s/ | 2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies | 1-2 L | Bearforce 89' |
October 19th, 2014 | /c/ | 2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 0-0 D | |
October 25th, 2014 | /g/ | 2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 2-1 L | Disturbia 57' |
October 26th, 2014 | /trv/ | 2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-1 D | Disturbia 74' |
November 1st, 2014 | /mlp/ | 2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup | 1-0 W | Ellen 50' |
Unofficial Matches
Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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July 20, 2012 | /h/ | 2012 4chan Summer Cup Exhibition Match | 2-2 (3-2) W | Blonde Fernando Torres 70', 94' |
January 17, 2015 | /w/ | 2015 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 1-2 L | Justin Bieber 70' |
January 18, 2014 | /n/ | 2015 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies | 1-1 D | Bearforce 87' |
Invitationals
Date | Opponent | Competition | Result | Scorers |
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September 13, 2014 | /int/ | Ved's 1.04 Test Cup | 1-0 W | Bearforce 34' |
September 14th, 2014 | /r9k/ | Ved's 1.04 Test Cup | 0-2 L | |
November 28, 2014 | /w/ | Thanksgiving Bowl | 2-1 W (a.e.t.) | STDSTDSTD 54' Corbin Fisher 111' |
November 28, 2014 | /a/ | Thanksgiving Bowl | 1-0 W | Bearforce 45' |
November 28, 2014 | /s4s/ | Thanksgiving Bowl | 2-5 L | Bearforce 18' Disturbia 39' |
November 28, 2014 | /u/ | Thanksgiving Bowl | 8-0 L | |
January 31, 2014 | /a/ | Good Try Bowl | 1-1 (6-5) W | Bearforce 27' |
January 31, 2014 | /lgbt/ | Good Try Bowl | 2-1 W | Disturbia 33', 41' |
January 31, 2014 | /sp/ | Good Try Bowl | 1-0 W | Disturbia 17' |
Player Stats
Note: Players in bold are still on the /hm/ squad.
Goals in parenthesis are totals including invitationals.
Assists list may be incomplete due to game crashes and a lack of in-depth Friendly data.
Goals & Assists
Player | Goals | Assists |
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Bearforce | 13(17) | 2 |
Blonde Fernando Torres | 7(9) | 2 |
Disturbia | 6(10) | 3 |
Anderson Cooper | 3 | 3 |
Ellen | 2 | 4 |
Ryan Reynolds | 2 | 2 |
STDSTDSTD | 2(3) | 0 |
Jake Gyllenhaal | 1 | 0 |
Moot's Jawline | 1 | 0 |
Corbin Fisher | 0(1) | 0 |
Justin Bieber | 0(1) | 0 |
Daddy Issues | 0 | 2 |
Jesse Starr | 0 | 1 |
Saves
Keeper | Saves |
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Full Homo | 9 |
Twink "the Tank" | 8 |
Hot Facebook Friend | 3 |
Pearmode | ;_;7 |
Team Honors
2013 4chan Winter Cup - Best Dressed, All Star Team (Bearforce)
Thanksgiving Bowl - 4th Place
Good Try Bowl - Champions
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