/hm/

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/hm/
Last on the field, first in the locker room.
[[File:{{#rreplace:hm|}} logo.png|250px]]
/hm/ - Handsome Men
Founded July 2012
IRL Manager Jynx
Team colors
Ranking 47 (increase 9)
Highest rank 31 (March 2013)
Lowest rank 56 (June 2013)
Top scorer Bearforce (13)
Top assister Disturbia (3)
Captain Ellen
Website /hm/ - Handsome Men
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY
5 9 11 25 20%
Biggest win
/trv/ Trv icon.png 0–3 Hm icon.png /hm/
October 20th, 2012
Biggest defeat
/lgbt/ Lgbt icon.png 5–2 Hm icon.png /hm/
April 13th, 2014
First match
/h/ H icon.png 2–2 Hm icon.png /hm/
20 July 2012
Meta information
HEX color FFC0CC - Pink
Anthem In The Navy
Goal Horn Soccer Practice - Jonny McGovern
Alternate Goal Horn The Anthem - Bearforce1
Alternate Goal Horn Call On Me - Eric Prydz (for Zitler)
Nickname The Mars/hm/allows


In the back corner of 4chan, kicking its own can with fellow fap boards /s/ and /gif/ while visiting strange weeb cousin /y/ on the weekends, lies /hm/, a board of TRUE men. Big, Hairy, Loveable and Cuddly, the bears of this board bring their own force to the cup. They're masters of the art of drawing matches and leave entire stadiums hot and sweaty with their homo-erotic charge of hype, and always looking to up their game with a nice round of Soccer Practice. Even unmanaged, they've been able to march through to the Top 8 in the Autumn Babby Cup, and while some riggy diggy happened in the following Winter season followed by a huge hiatus throughout 2013, these men are primed, oiled, and ready to charge into the competition and wind up on top.

Important Links

Kits - http://www.mediafire.com/download/nkh4fx6sd4tu8f1/hm.rar
Faces and Hats - http://www.mediafire.com/download/m4gdfa65nxufccm/hm.rar
Export - http://www.mediafire.com/download/agr7kjmfja98ptw/BEARFORCE1.rar

HEY SOU, HERE'S THE FA CUP EXPORT

http://www.mediafire.com/download/l9d2k5uqahwwcot/handsome+stuff.rar

Team History

Forged in the Summer of 2012 and debuting their first performance in an exhibition against /h/, the Handsome Men of /hm/ started off their career on a high note. Marching into the 2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup unmanaged, a shaky Group Stage against /mlp/, /diy/, and /3/ had many questioning the legitimacy of the gay team against fellow newcomer and apparent strongman /trv/ in the Round of 16. A commanding match ending with a 3-0 trouncing of the Frequent Flyer board, and /hm/ placed in the Top 8 of the Babby tournament.

The next cup would forever seal the team as a top-tier player in the big leagues. Grouped with /d/, /v/, and /ck/, it was average fare for the stalwart squadron, hosting a new lead Center Forward with the loudest of roars. A win against the dickgirls and a loss against the vidya left new manager Falcon71 in a touch of a predicament against /ck/; win or be relegated. After two quick goals from fresh blood Bearforce, the /ck/ manager had a breakdown and gave up altogether on the match, letting /hm/ have their way with Nachos and friends. What followed was a record-tying run, Bearforce scoring a one-time-matched five goals and partner striker Disturbia earning her own brace. The Cinderella story would end there, as the one ebin meme /hm/ produced was disqualified from playing against /a/, and despite an early Bearforce goal, the team was sent tumbling out of the 2013 4chan Winter Cup.

The hard times wouldn't end there, as with the advent of Dragongate, /hm/'s Elite Cup run was deemed illegitimate, and the team was sent tumbling back to the babbies. Managerless for qualification, /vg/ was sent to play in the 2013 4chan Autumn Babby Cup in the team's stead while the handsome men were sent into a coma. For a year, the team would be silent. A spark on October 31st, 2013 in the form of Gayman Alpha re-ignited the team, swapping out old, tired players who had lost their relevance and bringing in a new squadron of fresh blood. Zayn Malik and Ryan Reynolds quickly earned their keep in Friendly matches against /fit/ and /y/, and they looked to the 2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup for their return to glory and a place amongst the top 10 teams. However, /hm/'s only win this season was 2-0 against /out/, with /fa/ taking themselves a 1-0 victory before successive 5-2 demolitions by /lgbt/ and /b/. /hm/ finished with 3 points and 36th out of 40 overall, only above /adv/, /out/, /d/, and /m/. Drawn into what many considered one of the tougher groups the 2014 Autumn Babby had to offer, /hm/'s time to shine would have to take a backseat once more.

A first match against /c/ proved a promising 0-0 thriller; with seven saves by the cute animu grills' keeper preventing an early /hm/ win. /c/ had performed decently against Group C titan /mlp/ before choking away a two-goal lead, and optimistic views for the seamen followed the match into the next day. Despite learning a bunch of technology while overseas, /hm/ could not best the boys from /g/ and lost 2-1 after a hopeful comeback goal from Madison Nicole. The next match would have them face the 2014 Winter Cup Champions /trv/ in a Fourth Founding strongman rematch from the original Autumn Babby tournament. After a 70' crash, Madison once again disturbed crowds with a goal, only for the admirable /hm/ defense to slip up and allow Couchsurfer Rapist a quick equalizer. With two draws and one loss in the bag, it was impossible for /hm/ to advance as they prepared for their final opponent, the dreaded 2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Champions, /mlp/. Finally, the Ellen pitch was ready, and the men took to the field. Stalwart performances by eventual Man of the Match Zitler, 77 powerhouses STDSTDSTD & Daddy Issues set up many chances for /hm/ to put the ponies down while the gayboi's back line stood strong, barely allowing any chance for a horsecock to assume a dominant position over the bears. In the 50th minute, the queen of /hm/ and glorious team captain Ellen found her shot from a midfield lob by Bearforce and finally got past The Burdened, /mlp/'s top keeper. The match would remain in /hm/ control with some fluctuations towards the very end, but the scoreline stayed stagnant even through four minutes of injury time. Though they were still forced to play in Spring, all of /hm/ let out a mighty roar, knowing that they had stopped the horsefuckers from achieving the status of "12 Point Master Race", and did far better than their previous showing. As they look to the Spring Babby, rumors of medal swapping and a return to PES12 fuel the resurgence of /hm/ in familiar, dominated territory.


HM Black Kit.png
/hm/'s standard-issue Navy Kit.
Now in black! (caps to be ordered from TP Inc.)

Fixtures & Music

Next Fixture: 2015 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies
Opponents: W icon.png /w/ & N icon.png /n/
Music: W icon.png /w/: Bearforce Horn, Justin Bieber Horn (start @ 00:28)
Kits: W icon.png /w/: Black Navy Kits
N icon.png /n/: Throwback Pink Polo
Instructions: http://puu.sh/epFQl/ffee22a6c4.png Preset 1 for /w/, 2 for /n/. The paste is simply to make sure everyone's in their place and there isn't a spare Silver somewhere

Players

For Main Article, visit /hm/ Roster please note it will be severly outdated until spring or summer

No. Position Player
#
  GK
Twink
13
  RB
Cut
#
  CB
Bitchy Namefags
#
  CB
Jesse Starr
31
  LB
Uncut
#
  DMF
Zitler
#
  CMF
STDSTDSTD
#
  AMF
Laughing Whores
2
  SS
Ellen Captain.png
4
  SS
Disturbia
1
  CF
Bearforce
No. Position Player
#
  GK
Hot Facebook Friend
78
  GK
Le Thin Hair Chin Man
#
  RB
Auto-Sage
#
  RB
it's lolhitler
#
  CB
Straight Best Friend
#
  CB
Wincest Cousin
#
  LB
Celebrity Husbundo
#
  LB
Cock2Soc
#
  CMF
CP Links
#
  CMF
Fucking Rulefags
#
  AMF
Oakley Dokely
#
  AMF
First Time Lies

Hm group.png

/hm/ Squad: Winter '14 Friendlies - Summer '14 Friendlies
From Left to Right
Back Row: Twink, Anderson Cooper, Zayn Malik, Wincest Cousin, Sean Cody
Front Row: STDSTDSTD, Marshmallow, Bearforce, Straight Best Friend, Ryan Reynolds, Jesse Starr

Penetration Strategies

Preset 1

Hm icon.png /hm/
Formation: 4-3-1-2
HMPreset1-1.jpg
   Tactics
Ebin

   Player Support
 B
   Support Range
 E
   Position Switch
 A
   Front Line Pressure
 R
   Defensive Line
 4
   Defensive Compactness
 C
   Shifting to Attack
 E
   Attack/Defence Level
 1


Rivalries

Lgbt logo.png
/lgbt/ - Degenerate Derby
Gay porn vs gay discussion. It cant end well. And at the end, don't forgot to check your privilege.

/hm/ has failed twice to best their little brother

0-0-2
Y logo.png
/y/ - Gay Off Derby
Lovers outside of the cup, rivals in the cup. This derby shows off new heights of gay abuse and bashing in the 4chan Cup. These two clubs have met twice on the field, most recently with a 2-1 victory to the mars/hm/allows.

/hm/ doms with a win and a draw apiece.

1-1-0
S logo.png
/s/ - Alternate Lifestyle Derby
Ewwwwwwww, girls have cooties! Especially lesbian ones.

This rivalry has remained surprisingly quiet, with only a draw between the two teams.

0-1-0

Match History

Official Matches

Results marked in grey have been struck from the record due to Dragongate.

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
September 9, 2012 S icon.png /s/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies 3-3 D Jake GyllenhaalGoal 19'
Anderson CooperGoal 37'
Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 88'
September 22, 2012 Diy icon.png /diy/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies 1-1 D Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 29'
September 29, 2012 Y icon.png /y/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup Friendlies 1-1 D Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 53'
October 13, 2012 Mlp icon.png /mlp/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 2-2 D Anderson CooperGoal 68'
Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 88'
October 14, 2012 Diy icon.png /diy/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 1-0 L
October 19, 2012 3 icon.png /3/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 2-1 W Anderson CooperGoal 37'78'
October 20, 2012 Trv icon.png /trv/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup - Round of 16 3-0 W Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 16'
EllenGoal 22'
Anderson CooperGoal 61'
October 21, 2012 Wg icon.png /wg/ Autumn babby 2012.png2012 4chan Autumn Babby Cup - Round of 8 3-1 L Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 84'
December 22, 2012 Cm icon.png /cm/ 2013 WinterCup.png2013 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies 1-1 D Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 8'
February 9, 2013 D icon.png /d/ 2013 WinterCup.png2013 4chan Winter Cup 1-0 W DisturbiaGoal 81'
February 15, 2013 V icon.png /v/ 2013 WinterCup.png2013 4chan Winter Cup 2-1 L BearforceGoal 81'
February 17, 2013 Ck icon.png /ck/ 2013 WinterCup.png2013 4chan Winter Cup 7-2 W BearforceGoal 8'32'45+1'65'82'
DisturbiaGoal 47'90+2'
February 23, 2013 A icon.png /a/ 2013 WinterCup.png2013 4chan Winter Cup - Round of 16 2-1 L BearforceGoal 5'
April 5, 2013 K icon.png /k/ Spring babby 2013.png2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies 1-1 D Disturbia Goal 34'
April 12, 2013 Fa icon.png /fa/ Spring babby 2013.png2013 4chan Spring Babby Cup Friendlies 1-1 D Bearforce Goal 15'
July 19th 2013 Lgbt icon.png /lgbt/ 2013 4chan Summer Cup Logo.png2013 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies 2-0 L
January 18th 2014 Fit icon.png /fit/ 2014 winter cup.png2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies 2-1 L Ryan Reynolds Goal 45+'
January 19th, 2014 Y icon.png /y/ 2014 winter cup.png2014 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies 2-1 W STDSTDSTDGoal 21'
Ryan ReynoldsGoal 83'
April 6th, 2014 Out icon.png /out/ 2014 Spring Cup logo.png2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup 2-0 W Bearforce Goal 32'48'
April 12th, 2014 Fa icon.png /fa/ 2014 Spring Cup logo.png2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup 1-0 L
April 13th, 2014 Lgbt icon.png /lgbt/ 2014 Spring Cup logo.png2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup 5-2 L Bearforce Goal 7'
STDSTDSTDGoal 86'
April 19th, 2014 B icon.png /b/ 2014 Spring Cup logo.png2014 4chan Spring Babby Cup 5-2 L Bearforce Goal 43'
Moot's JawlineGoal 90+'
June 6th, 2014 Gif icon.png /gif/ 2014SummerCupLogo.png2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies 0-0 D
June 7th, 2014 S4s icon.png /s4s/ 2014SummerCupLogo.png2014 4chan Summer Cup Friendlies 1-2 L Bearforce Goal 89'
October 19th, 2014 C icon.png /c/ 2014 Autumn Cup Logo.png2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 0-0 D
October 25th, 2014 G icon.png /g/ 2014 Autumn Cup Logo.png2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 2-1 L Disturbia Goal 57'
October 26th, 2014 Trv icon.png /trv/ 2014 Autumn Cup Logo.png2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 1-1 D Disturbia Goal 74'
November 1st, 2014 Mlp icon.png /mlp/ 2014 Autumn Cup Logo.png2014 4chan Autumn Babby Cup 1-0 W Ellen Goal 50'

Unofficial Matches

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
July 20, 2012 H icon.png /h/ 2012 4chan Summer Cup Exhibition Match 2-2 (3-2) W Blonde Fernando TorresGoal 70'94'
January 17, 2015 W icon.png /w/ 2015 4chan winter cup logo.png2015 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies 1-2 L Justin BieberGoal 70'
January 18, 2014 N icon.png /n/ 2015 4chan winter cup logo.png2015 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies 1-1 D BearforceGoal 87'


Invitationals

Date Opponent Competition Result Scorers
September 13, 2014 Int icon.png /int/ Ved's 1.04 Test Cup 1-0 W BearforceGoal 34'
September 14th, 2014 R9k icon.png /r9k/ Ved's 1.04 Test Cup 0-2 L
November 28, 2014 W icon.png /w/ Thanksgiving Bowl 2-1 W (a.e.t.) STDSTDSTDGoal 54'
Corbin FisherGoal 111'
November 28, 2014 A icon.png /a/ Thanksgiving Bowl 1-0 W BearforceGoal 45'
November 28, 2014 S4s icon.png /s4s/ Thanksgiving Bowl 2-5 L BearforceGoal 18'
DisturbiaGoal 39'
November 28, 2014 U icon.png /u/ Thanksgiving Bowl 8-0 L
January 31, 2014 A icon.png /a/ Good try bowl.pngGood Try Bowl 1-1 (6-5) W BearforceGoal 27'
January 31, 2014 Lgbt icon.png /lgbt/ Good try bowl.pngGood Try Bowl 2-1 W DisturbiaGoal 33'41'
January 31, 2014 Sp icon.png /sp/ Good try bowl.pngGood Try Bowl 1-0 W DisturbiaGoal 17'

Player Stats

Note: Players in bold are still on the /hm/ squad.
Goals in parenthesis are totals including invitationals.
Assists list may be incomplete due to game crashes and a lack of in-depth Friendly data.

Goals & Assists

Player Goals Assists
Bearforce 13(17) 2
Blonde Fernando Torres 7(9) 2
Disturbia 6(10) 3
Anderson Cooper 3 3
Ellen 2 4
Ryan Reynolds 2 2
STDSTDSTD 2(3) 0
Jake Gyllenhaal 1 0
Moot's Jawline 1 0
Corbin Fisher 0(1) 0
Justin Bieber 0(1) 0
Daddy Issues 0 2
Jesse Starr 0 1


Saves

Keeper Saves
Full Homo 9
Twink "the Tank" 8
Hot Facebook Friend 3
Pearmode ;_;7


Team Honors

2013 4chan Winter Cup - Best Dressed, All Star Team (Bearforce)
Thanksgiving Bowl - 4th Place
Good Try Bowl - Champions