/egg/

/egg/
Praise The Omnissiah!
/egg/ - Engineering Games General
Founded May 5th, 2017 Manager Marek Rosa Owner Keen Software House IRL manager PossumT !!jPvacTJAMhh (caretaker) Team colors Chat color C11200 Blood! Blood for the CLANG God! Ranking 10 ( 12) Highest rank 10th (June 13th, 2021) Lowest rank 39th (June 25th, 2017) Top scorer CLANG (18) Top assister Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons (11) Captain Eggman Website /egg/ - Engineering Games General Nickname Formerly /svgg/
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 11 3 9 23 47.83%
GF GA GD 54 39 +15
Biggest win /egg/  5–0  /gbfg/ June 4th, 2021 (prev. 5-0  /feg/, 2019/06/05) Biggest defeat /egg/  1–4  /hgg2d/ November 21st, 2020 First match /egg/  0–1  /pg/ June 2nd, 2017
/vg/ League Appearances 6 (First in /vg/ League 8 Qualifiers) Best result 7th, /vg/ League 12 & /vg/ League 14
Team music
Anthem Hymn to Breaking Strain Victory Anthem E.G.G.M.A.N. Victory (clean sweep) Moonbase Alpha Goal horn Dinosauroid Eggman (...don't ask how) Victory Anthem (E.G.G.M.A.N.) CLANG Metal Machine Music (headphones on pls) Thomasformer THOMAS THE PARTY LELGINE aeiou or John Madden Azumadden Daeiou Lemonhulk Roll Northumbria Own goal :^) Trust me, I'm an engineer!
Kits

We are those dedicated to maintaining the small, drifting playerbases of (sometimes obscure, sometimes dead) engineering-related games by pouring them into a single general.
Then arguing about what the hell is meant by 'engineering' in this context.

Have you been blessed by the presence of CLANG today?

History

After being formed, the team was entirely Eggman because there were no aesthetics and we dropped out after a mediocre group stage in VGL 8. With little remaining interest, we lowered it into the grave.

The will of The Omnissiah compelled us to try again many years later, and a resurrected /egg/ (now with actual models) managed to autopilot all the way through to 7th place in VGL 12 with the power of broken physics. Ever since has been a rollercoaster ride, with a fall to 40th place in VGL 13, riding a meme train of 17 CBs all the way back up to joint 7th with  /domg/ for VGL 14, then failing to leave the group stage with 2 losses in VGL 15. By this point the team had gained the 'curse' (or maybe, blessing) of a cycle between failure and success - even going as far as identical results: exiting in the group stage on odd-numbered leagues, followed by only losing to the champions in quarterfinals. Not only that, but even as detailed as drawing/winning the same number of matches during the even leagues!

However...

VGL 16's  /akg/ match has broken the cycle. The eggs are no longer balanced.
Look out, VGL 17. We are coming for you.

REMOVE MANAGER remove manager you are worst manager. you are the manager idiot you are the manager smell.

Info

Proof of Interest:
https://boards.4channel.org/vg/thread/318934748#p320040859 (final roster poll results - 2021/01/07)

Note from the caretaker: This team is eternally on autopilot because none of us understand divegrass, so if anyone wants to take the reins for tactics then look for me in Discord (or just yell in the thread).
I'd try them myself but >implying I play PES, and trusting an """AI""" fits our theme
- Possum

Roster

No. Position Player 1   GK Eggman 2   CB EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME 3   CB Gas The Marek 4   CB aeiou 5   DMF The Chad Stormworks Player 6   CMF >Physician 19   LMF Chaos Engine 22   RMF Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons 20   AMF Thomasformer 21   SS Mechanically Engineered Autism 23   CF CLANG

No. Position Player 7   GK Square-chan 8   LB >Structural Integrity 9   CB John Madden 10   CB Jebediah Kerman 11   CB SPIDERTRON 12   RB FAILURE 13   DMF BLUE, HURT 14   DMF Nick "Unification" Smart 15   CMF Godforsaken Astronaut 16   CMF Anatheus Vaya 17   LMF Turrents 18   RMF DAKKA

Meet The Starters

The big boys up front, forging a path forwards of scientific discovery. Very slowly. They're not actually trying to, they just want to blow things up faster.

Eggman Sonic The Hedgehog franchise	#1 (Captain)
	"I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fucking quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was "this big" and I said "that's disgusting". So I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, its the size of this walnut except way smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right baby, all point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. That's right this is what you get, MY SUPER LASER PISS. Except I'm not pissing on the Earth, I'm gonna go higher, I'M PISSING ON THE MOON. HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT OBAMA, I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drop-el-ets hit the fucking Earth, now get out of my fucking sight, before I piss on you too."

Mechanically Engineered Autism Most /egg/s	#21
	It may look like incomprehensible spaghetti to you (...and its creator) but it runs at 100% efficiency and any changes you make will probably make it stop working so, please, don't touch it.

CLANG H̸͕̮E͕̗̱̠ͅ ̛͓̫͙̖C͖̪̪̣̼O̞͟M̭̥̻͚̘Ḛ͖̼͍́S̨̹̰̫̮͖͚͇	#23
	You are building your ship, when you hear the distant sound of metal on metal. As the sound creeps closer, you cry, for you know what will come. All you can do is pray that he does not take you.

Chaos Engine Besiege	#19
	The nearest thing to >harnessing CLANG that's ever existed. A highly unsafe device born during the height of /v/'s foray into the mechanics of Besiege, it consists of a flaming ball attached to multiple sawblades. This baby can produce enough torque to tear apart any vehicle.

Thomasformer Machinecraft	#20
	All the way from the Isle of Sodor, the brainchild of a tormented soul and a battlehorn by the Vengaboys, give it up for ya boi MOTHERFUCKING THOMASFORMERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The Chad Stormworks Player Stormworks	#5
	Look at this motherfucker. He can make a plane with less material than the average Ikea cabinet that somehow takes off with the acceleration of a rocket booster. Suck it Elon you Apartheid faggot THIS guy's gonna be the first to Mars, and he won't even be using a fucking spacesuit

>Physician Robocraft	#6
	"Dude I don't want to do physics and maths to play this shit, I'm not a fucking physician, I just want to fucking play lego robots. Fuck off with your boring school crap." - Lost child in /rcg/, c. 2014

Jebediah "Motherfucking" Kerman Kerbal Space Program	#10
	The madman of Kerbin himself. 'On loan' from  /kspg/ (rest in fucking piss), this guy has no sense of fear and an addiction for adrenaline. For most KSP players he's dead by the third mission.

SPIDERTRON Factorio	#11
	God damn look at those legs

FAILURE Infinifactory	#12
	The remains of some poor schmuck who was unwittingly placed in a position they were clearly not qualified for.

Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons Space Engineers	#20
	Shaking hands with danger to achieve strange goals during the construction of mining vehicles, combinations of moving parts that are questionably safe at best and deadly at worst.

Meet The Benchwarmers

Just as good (usually) as the main lads, but they do feel a bit underappreciated sometimes.

EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME Steam Early Access	#2
	Alright, so you're making a game. You've got the physics down. The blocks, items and player models are all up and running. You think the multiplayer might even function! It's time to put it on the store to let people have an early look at your dream child. ...content? What the fuck is 'content'?

Gas The Marek Keen Code House	#3
	The smug-faced bastard at the root of all (most of?) the stupid decisions behind the clunky mess that is Space Engineers, and other failed experiments like Medieval Engineers and Keen's AI bullshit. Development? Nah, spend the budget on a fucking mansion. Either a bumbling idiot or a genius exit scammer.

aeiou aeiou?	#4
	aeiou!

Square-chan Robocraft	#7
	Formerly known as Robokek, it was decided that the poster girl for meta- shitpost-shipbuilding should be named for herself rather than the long-dead game she originally represented. Arguably BobdaBiscuit's most famous creation before Thomasformer (yes, the madman made both).

>Structural Integrity Highly subjective	#8
	We appreciate the sentiment, but it's more of an afterthought when you're going for efficiency.

John Madden John Madden Football (video game series)	#nine nine nine, nine n
	Football!

BLUE, HURT An insane Finnish man	#13
	It's a robot that uses artificial neurons to simulate pain. Of course it was a Finn who made it.

Nick "Unification" Smart From The Depths	#14
	Clearly, the best way to improve a game is to remove mechanics by mashing them together into something easier for the plebs to comprehend. What a smart dev.

Godforsaken Astronaut Randy Regier	#15
	A representative for all the poor bastards lost to unscheduled re-entries and the cold void of space.

Anataeus Vaya Opus Magnum	#16
	The autistic alchemist. He just wants to make compounds in peace, kindly stop bothering him and let him continue with his work.

Turrents Factorio	#17
	The unsung hero of xenophobic expansionism. Remember to keep the ammo topped up! Yes that's how it's spelled, stop asking.

DAKKA WAAAGH	#Ayteen
	Dis greenboi's gotta lotta gunz, and 'e's not afraid ta use 'em. EVERYFIN needs more dakka ya filfy grot.

Meet The Rejects (profile pics in early access)

The players voted out for various reasons. Not quite popular enough to compete any more, irrelevant, or just dumb.

RIP SERB Space Engineers	-7st
	The utterance of every player when a server finally decides it can't handle the strain of whatever batshit, CPU-consuming monstrosities are being built within its confines. Survived the last roster poll for a fleeting second, until we were reminded that Eggman is always on the team so we'd miscounted the slots. Subsequently, the Omnissiah said "lolno" and pushed him off the bottom of the list.

SHINY AND CHROME WITNESS MEEEE	-6rd
	The warcry of all those who wish to be WITNESSED as their mortal bodies succumb to the forces of high-speed shenanigans.

M1 Bradley Pentagon Wars	-5st
	The unfortunate bastard child of higher-ups meddling with the design of what was ostensibly a troop carrier - now an amphibious masterpiece of an over 10-foot-high scout vehicle with infantry weapon portholes, an AA cannon, anti-tank missiles, a budget of $14 billion, over a decade of development... and no room for carrying troops.

Satisfactory ...Satisfactory	-4rd
	Voted in as /egg/ enough for a new player yet voted out in the final poll for not being good enough. Kind of like the game, really.

Lemonhulk Space Engineers	-3st
	"Space hulk". A term describing a vast, asymmetrical spaceship created from the remains of smaller, derelict ships (functioning or otherwise) grafted onto one another. Ugly, yet strangely beautiful. Created back when /seg/ and /svgg/-posters still flew the Warbros banner, her form was purely for function in raids against the unwitting Argentinian denizens of some public server they descended on to colonise for their own. The lemon-coated creation was tragically from an era before any of us considered saving her as a blueprint for future generations. As such, her glorious yellow figure was never able to be truly represented on the pitch. Rest In Peace, Space Queen.

KEEEEEEEEN Keen Code House	-2st
	The exasperated call of an engie suffering from the shitty Keencode in a game that could have been so much more. For correct enunciation, think Kirk.

BLANEDS Space Engineers	-1rdn't
	Planets got added after years of delays, and they were as mediocre as people should have expected. Got the least votes by far in popularity polls. Shit mechanic, dead meme.
File:EggBlan.png

Match History

All (recorded) matches can be seen here.

Official Matches

Competition	Date	Opponent	Result	Scorers
/vg/ League 8 Qualifiers - Group B	2017, June 2nd	/pg/	0 - 1	John Madden  76'
	2017, June 3rd	/agdg/	1 - 3	Smug Marek  22'
	2017, June 4th	/civ4xg/	1 - 0	KEEEEEEEEN  73'
/vg/ League 12 - Group I	2019, June 9th	/agdg/	2 - 2	CLANG  16', Mechanically Engineered Autism  78'
	2019, June 15th	/feg/	5 - 0	Thomasformer  15', 56', EARLY ACCESS.  42', Mechanically.  59', CLANG  70'
	2019, June 21st	/vitagen/	2 - 0	CLANG  75', Chaos Engine  84'
/vg/ League 12 - Round of 16	2019, June 29th	/gfg/	4 - 2	Thomasformer  20', CLANG  45+2' (pen.), 50', 75' (the first of many hat tricks)
/vg/ League 12 - Quarterfinals	2019, June 30th	/dbg/	0 - 1	>Physician  36'
/vg/ League 13 - Group B	2019, November 22nd	/drg/	2 - 3	Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  19', CLANG  52'
	2019, December 1st	/vrg/	3 - 4	Mechanically.  11', CLANG  27', Thomasformer  72', FUCKING AEIOU  81'
	2019, December 7th	/alg/	1 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  89'
/vg/ League 14 - Group K	2020, June 7th	/mcg/	4 - 2	CLANG  4', 24', Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  38', 90+8'
	2020, June 13th	/nepgen/	4 - 1	CLANG  6', 53', 55', Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  15'
	2020, June 19th	/mggg/	2 - 2	CLANG  25', 90+1'
/vg/ League 14 - Round of 16	2020, June 27th	/d2g/	1 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  76' Penalties (4 - 1): CLANG , Thomas. , Mechanically. , Landing Gear.
/vg/ League 14 - Quarterfinals	2020, June 28th	/ssbg/	1 - 3	CLANG  35'
/vg/ League 15 - Group E	2020, November 21st	/hgg2d/	1 - 4	Thomasformer  26' ...we just couldn't Alice.
	2020, November 27th	/2hug/	5 - 2	CLANG  16', Landing Gear.  31', Thomasformer  43', 86', Mechanically.  74'
	2020, December 6th	/drag/	2 - 3	Thomasformer  26', CLANG  36'
/vg/ League 16 - Group L	2021, May 23rd	/eftg/	4 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  21', 35', 56', CLANG  75'
	2021, May 29th	/fg/	1 - 0	CLANG  7'
	2021, June 4th	/gbfg/	5 - 0	CLANG  24', 45+2', 90+0', Mechanically Engineered Autism  65', 84', CLANG with the 9.0!
/vg/ League 16 - Round of 16	2021, June 12th	/akg/	3 - 3	Mechanically Engineered Autism  59', CLANG  85', 90+3', Early Access Sandbox Game  78' Penalties (0 - 2): F o u r misses, holy shit
/vg/ League 17 - Group D	2021, November 26th	/wtg/	4 - 3	Thomasformer  7', Mechanically Engineered Autism  70,', 80', Turrents  90+1'
	2021, December 5th	/dng/	-
	2021, December 11th	/utg/	-

Unofficial Matches

As you can see, we display incredible skill even during friendly matches.

Competition	Date	Opponent	Result	Scorers
/vg/ League 13 Friendlies	2019, September 29th	/dfg/ - The Lever Room Bowl	0 - 2
	2019, October 4th	/kspg/ - The Space Bowl	0 - 1	huehuehu we've stolen jeb
/vg/ League 14 Friendlies	2020, March 22	/tf2g/ - The Engie Bowl	1 - 2	Mechanically Engineered Autism  66'
	2020, March 27	/digi/ - The Forsaken Autopilot Final	3 - 4	CLANG  15', 21', 86' (Mechanically.  74', Landing Gear.  82')
/vg/ League 15 Friendlies	2020, September 25th	/r6g/ - The B owlsiege	1 - 2	CLANG  90 + 1' (KEEEEEEEEN  15')
/vg/ League 16 Friendlies	2021, March 27th	/indie/ - The Early Accessb Owl	2 - 3	Mechanically Engineered Autism  61', CLANG  90 + 2'
/vg/ League 17 Friendlies	2021, October 3rd	/ssbg/ - The VGL14 Grudgem Atch	3 - 2	Chaos Engine  34', CLANG  42', Mechanically.  68' (Landing Gear.  77')

Player Autistics

Player	Goals	Assists	MotMs
CLANG	25	11	9
Mechanically Engineered Autism	12	11	2
Thomasformer	8	6	1
Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons	5	11	0
Chaos Engine	1	3	0
Gas The Marek	1	1	0
EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME	1	0	0
KEEEEEEEEN	1	0	0
The Chad Stormworks Player	0	1	0
Nick "Unification" Smart	0	1	0

Saves

Keeper	Saves
Eggman	42
Nick "Unification" Smart	3
Early Access Sandbox Game	2
Square-chan	1

Eggman is our pride and joy, so we made him captain then stuck him in goal. Don't worry, we definitely know what we're doing.

Records

Player	Date	Match	Record
Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons	2020 June 7th	VGL 14  /mcg/	Latest goal in a regulation length match, scoring at 90+8' (beating the previous record by one second!)
CLANG	2021 June 4th	VGL 16  /gbfg/	First official 9.0 player rating, so far the highest VGL rating ever! P̮̞̲̼̰͞R̞̳̯̹͙ͅA̲I̩̣̝̙͍͢S҉͉̱̰͓̦̩̪E̵̱̹͔ͅ ҉C̩͖͍L̝̞̹̮̠̘A̭̘N̼̫̬͖̫͓G̜̝͈͓!̜̲̹̬̺̼

Team Awards

League	Award
VGL 16	2nd place: Best Goalhorns

Physicians

aieou, 21st December 2019: /egg/'s first own goal - directly off his ass - which lost us our VGL 13  /vrg/ match. Good job, son.

Exports

If something's fucked, I swear it's CLANG's doing

League	Main	Friendly
Current - VGL 17	Aesthetics, Music, Eternal autopilot	Aesthetics, Music, Eternal autopilot
VGL 16	Aes., Music, Eternal autopilot	Refer to VGL 15 I guess
VGL 15	Aes., Music, Autopilot	Aes. (First of PES 19), Music, Autopilot
VGL 14	Aes. (Last of PES 16), Music, Autopilot	Aes. got lost (?????), Music, Autopilot
VGL 13	Aes., Profiles, Music, Autopilot	Aes., Profiles, Music, Autopilot
VGL 12	Aes., Profiles, Music, Autopilot	n/a