/his/

/his/
We Didn't Start the Fire
/his/ - History & Humanities
Founded October 31, 2015 Owner Voltaire IRL manager JunoIvanovich !!pRLnAqrt9vP Team colors Chat color FCD405 Holy Roman Yellow Ranking 26 ( 14) Highest rank 15 (August 19, 2017) Lowest rank 56 (April 17, 2016) Top scorer >Holy>Roman>Empire (39) Top assister Bismarck (10) Captain Charles II Website /his/ - History & Humanities Nickname /his/torians Home ground Amphitheatrum Flavium (groundshare with /lit/)
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 16 3 18 37 43.24%
GF GA GD 65 72 -7
Biggest win /his/  4–1  /v/ April 15, 2016 Biggest defeat /his/  1–5  /vp/ May 5, 2018 First match /his/  4–1  /v/ April 15, 2016
Elite Cup Appearances 2 (First in Summer 2017) Best result 11th, Summer 2017 Babby Cup Appearances 3 (First in Spring 2016) Best result 2nd, Autumn 2018
Team music
Anthem Anthem of the Austro-Hungarian Empire Victory Anthem Piotr Ilich Tchaikovsky - 1812 Overture (Finale) Goal horn Unter dem Doppeladler Marsch Mongolian Horse Archer Goalhorn Khuleg Baatar >Holy>Roman>Empire Goalhorn Schei-wi-dei-wi-du Bismarck's Goalhorn Bismarck's Mixtape Charles II Goalhorn El Mundo - Chaccaron Maccaron
Kits
Home kit Away kit Third kit Fourth kit

The great Emperor Hiroyuki Nishimura answered the calls of the repressed /his/ communities of 4chan and granted them a homeland. This homeland was called /his/; and it was estimated to have been created in 2015AD (but possibly sometime after that because we couldn't be fucked sourcing). The anons of this board have come together to form a team that represents them in the 4chan Cup, in all their historical, humanitarian and philosophical capacity.

The Long March to Autumn
By the way, we have a discord server now. Join here!

Exports

2018 4chan Autumn Babby Qualifiers

• Tactical Export: tfw too smart for the republic
• Aesthetics Export: tfw also too smart for a monarchy
• Audio Export: tfw too smart not to be a radical centrist

2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup

• Tactical Export:Tactics
• Aesthetics Export:Aesthetics
• Music Export:Music

Roster

Main Article: /his/ roster

No. Position Player 13   GK Isonzo river 7   LB Diogenes 19   CB Finno-Korean Hyper war 17   CB Charlememe 18   RB Napoleon 31   DMF Vlad the Implier 4   CMF Monsieur Lindy 43   AMF Bomber Harris 71   SS Bismarck 15   SS Charles II 45   CF >Holy>Roman>Empire

No. Position Player 12   LWF TRUE Communism has NEVER been tried 6   LB Maoist worst nightmare 11   LB Pregnant Anne Frank 16   RB EVERY MAN A KING 14   RB >&Humanities 20   CB The Russian Baltic Fleet 21   CB African paratrooper 1   CB Gaius & Aulus 99   CMF Mongolian Horse Archer 95   CMF More Wives, Your Grace? 13   CMF tfw too smart for the republic 23   CMF Jeanne d' glorified cheerleader

From left to right, back row: Isonzo river, >Holy>Roman>Empire,Vlad the Implier, Bomber Harris, Finno-Korean Hyper war, Charles II.
From left to right, front row:Diogenes, Napoleon, Charlememe, Monsieur Lindy, Bismarck.

Special music

Victory against /b/
Anthem for /u/

History

Previous campaigns

2018 Autumn Campaign

Whatever remained of any army under Charles II was now positioned somewhere between the Caucasus and the Pyrenees. Finally, after the virtual divegrass equivalent of a Bataan death march through six months of undocumented winter and spring, the team were ready, in some sense of the word, to begin forging their way back to some form of relevance. Some older players had been returned from otherwise permanent exile to fill the ranks left by starvation and cold. Even Julius Caesar took the opportunity to un-stab himself 23 times (and also un-stab the entire team, whose backs he had stabbed in 2016) just to be part of the fun, but a quick and decisive team vote kept him out of the goalie box. That job was given to newcomer General Luigi Cadorna, whose record showed a passion to give up absolutely anything any number of times to protect something thoroughly insignificant.

Autumn Qualifiers - /his/ v /a/, /i/, and /w/

A chill mist settled over the Tokyo Dome, and Kabarebe adjusted his paratrooper's cap. How had /his/ forces come to be here? This wasn't Kinshasa; this was a divegrass field. More importantly, why was the opposing team filing out of the changing rooms comprised entirely of 13 year old girls? With reckless abandon they began a game of soccer, but not too rough Kabarebe-chan, nyaa~.

It was a slow start to a slow game. Early attacking opportunities from Bebop kept The Isonzo River busy, and for operating purposes it seemed /his/ were without much organisation until a sudden and mysterious clearance led to his most serene highness Charles II with a scoring opportunity. Sensing a degree of unfairness in such an early and easy opportunity, his most gracious majesty promptly cannoned the ball into the crowd at a 45 degree angle to the goal, decapitating a spectator.

"Charles II has an attempt. Keyword being an attempt... [on viewing the replay] A literal retard."

--Doyes, shortly before getting the axe for his insolence

Shy of this attempt, the match continued with genial passing practice in and about the midfield. Confusingly for all involved, one of the /a/ players named Robocop would routinely issue offsides to his own team. It took several minutes to work out that he was, in fact, both a referee and a player. Obvious questions about potential unfairness and rigging were largely mitigated by the fact that nobody seemed particularly determined to do anything with the ball at all. Truck-kun gave up another valuable clearance in the 42nd minute to Bebop, who attacked without support to no avail. Retaliatory moves by Bismarck and Diogenes bought the ball into aggressive positions, but the half came without a goal by either side.

"This match is bought to you by Cornflakes; I like corn. We're nil-nil at the half."

--Doyes, corn enthusiast

The second half began in much the same way as the first half had ended. Lelouch (pronounced: "Lel ouch") came up with exciting opportunities for /a/ in the 62nd minute off the back of an error by a heavily marked >>Holy>Roman>Emperor, but for reasons unknown chose to pass it to Imagine instead of opting for the one on one rumble with Luigi in the Isonzo. This unbelievably disgusting and stupid play led to a /his/ interception and clearing. The /a/ manager from the side was heard screeching with rage, and while a swift round of subbings was ordered there was only continued incompetence from Lel Ouch, who gave openings for African Paratrooper to continue clearing throughout.

An elbow to the not inconsiderable chin of Charles II gave cause for Robocop to issue a free kick and ask Yotsuba to 'calm the fuck down'. Huey Long's Huey-longball led to a fierce header from Bismarck that was on target, only to have it narrowly deflected by valiant goalie-work. The /his/ throw-in to follow landed right at the feet of Bomber Harris, who navigated a defender and chipped inwards to Charles, who struck again only to be deflected - but this time the Iron Chancellor was ready to clean up the mess, sweeping through and netting the ball for /his/' first goal of Autumn in the 85th minute. The match closed out without further pressure from the outclassed /a/, and /his/ emerged victorious for the first time in six months (thank christ).

The match against /i/ began just over the road (which was, all things considered, rather convenient). Having successfully beaten one team, /his/ moved from strength to strength, posting a commanding performance on both offence and defence to boast 61% possession with 4 shots on target throughout the first half, but with no real attacking opportunities outside of a scare by >>Holy>Roman>Emperor towards the halftime horn (or, indeed, any action at all).

The second half, however, sought to defy expectations. It rapidly accelerated in aggression and scale between what had been otherwise two evenly matched teams, and culimnated in the 70th minute with Charles II beating a defender and the goalie both to slide the match's only goal past the goalkeeper.

Feeling triumphant off the back of two consecutive wins (the first time the team had such a posting under Gen. JunoIvanovich), Charles II then proceeded to pick a fight with an actual team. With /a/'s little girls having beaten a hasty retreat, the /w/eebs showed up to ascertain who exactly in their right mind would pick on a pack of their precious preteen waifus. A suggestion ventured as to the existence of certain Japanese war crimes led to battle lines being drawn and engaged on the 14th of October.

Right from the get-go, /w/ showed they would not be taken as lightly as their /a/ counterparts at all. At four minutes, Minimalist was penalised for a personal foul on Charles II. The subsequent free kick into /w/'s goalbox - cleared by defender Waifu Wars - would be one of the only times in the match /his/ would find themselves on the offensive. /w/ ran a controlling game in the midfield, and provided threats throughout the first twenty minutes, though all were foiled by decisive efforts of African paratrooper - though a sudden turnover by /w/ attackers in the midfield, followed by a chip and longball to /w/ striker Powerlevel all in the space of ten seconds awarded them a lethally clinical goal that made the Isonzo River Valley look more like a fucking puddle. Later in the first half, Minimalist would beat no less than 3 defenders to be the beneficiary of yet another aggressive and precise chip from the midfield, which led to a 2-0 just before the halftime. The stats - which showed only a 5% difference of possession between the two teams - did not bely the fact that /his/ had been on the defensive for the entire game.

The second half began with /his/ attacks. Monsieur Lindybiege took this a little bit too seriously, and ran the risk of a foul by the referee just to offer /his/ an attacking opportunity (nothing decisive) - but no sooner had the ball gone then it had come back into /his/'s half; and Powerlevel's blocked strike gave Waifu Walls the chance to score, again pummeling three defenders in the process in the 56th minute. Thankfully, /his/ managed to avoid further embarrassment in front of a large crowd in the Amphitheatrum Flavium, stabilising in the second half to put an otherwise game on for the remainder of the match. With a total of 7 shots (5 on target) to /his/'s 3 (1 on target), it was clear that despite roughly even possession the /his/torians were outgunned and outmatched by the bigger, older weebs. Regardless, finishing second in the group allowed them a route forward and an invitation to the Autumn Babby Cup.

Match Log

Recent & Upcoming Official Matches

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers	Video
October 26, 2018	/u/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Group D	1-2 L	23' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
October 28, 2018	/cm/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Group D	2-1 W	27' >Holy>Roman>Empire  45+1' Bismarck	Video
November 3, 2018	/gif/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Group D	0-0 D		Video
November 10, 2018	/3/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Knockouts	1-0 W	33' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
November 11, 2018	/mu/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Quarter Finals	3-0 W	11', 72' >Holy >Roman >Empire  53' Bismarck	Video
November 11, 2018	/vp/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Semi Finals	3-1 W	29', 33' >Holy >Roman >Empire  40' I Rabbu Rirrie-Chan	Video
November 11, 2018	/pol/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup - Finals	0-2 L		Video

Previous Official Matches

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers	Video
April 15, 2016	/v/	2016 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group B	4-1 W	>Holy>Roman>Empire  45+1', 56', 73' Bismarck  64'
April 16, 2016	/co/	2016 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group B	4-1 W	>Holy>Roman>Empire  17', 66' Bismarck  33' Vlad the Implier  36'
April 17, 2016	/toy/	2016 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group B	1-3 L	>Holy>Roman>Empire  64'
May 6, 2016	/lit/	2016 Spring Babby Cup - Group C	5-6 L	>Holy>Roman>Empire  44', 45', 49', 54', 73'
May 8, 2016	/o/	2016 Spring Babby Cup - Group C	0-1 L
May 14, 2016	/cm/	2016 Spring Babby Cup - Group C	3-2 W	Bismarck  30' >Holy>Roman>Empire  43', 66'
October 29, 2016	/p/	2016 Autumn Babby Cup - Group H	4-5 L	>Holy>Roman>Empire  8', 31' Napoleon  73' Bismarck  90+4'
November 4, 2016	/int/	2016 Autumn Babby Cup - Group H	1-1 D	>Holy>Roman>Empire  68'
November 6, 2016	/wg/	2016 Autumn Babby Cup - Group H	0-3 L
April 28, 2017	/lgbt/	2017 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group A	3-2 W	Bismarck  21', 30' >Holy >Roman >Empire  68'
April 29, 2017	/wsg/	2017 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group A	3-0 W	13', 76' >Holy >Roman >Empire  89' Napoleon
April 30, 2017	/tg/	2017 Spring Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group A	1-1 D	>Holy >Roman >Empire  89'
May 12, 2017	/mlp/	2017 Spring Babby Cup - Group B	2-1 W	12', 71' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
May 14, 2017	/sci/	2017 Spring Babby Cup - Group B	4-3 W	Vlad The Implier  5' >Holy>Roman>Empire  45+0' Bismarck  74', 90+5'	Video
May 20, 2017	/n/	2017 Spring Babby Cup - Group B	2-3 L	87' Bomber Harris  90+6' Anarcho-Memeism	Video
May 27, 2017	/tg/	2017 Spring Babby Cup - Knockouts	0-2 L		Video
July 28, 2017	/s4s/	2017 4chan Summer Cup - Group C	3-2 W	7', 29' Bismarck  22' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
July 30, 2017	/wg/	2017 4chan Summer Cup - Group C	1-2 L	69' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
August 5, 2017	/asp/	2017 4chan Summer Cup - Group C	2-0 W	42' Bomber Harris  52' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
August 12, 2017	/u/	2017 4chan Summer Cup - Knockouts	2-3 L	8' >Holy>Roman>Empire  90+2' Bomber Harris	Video
17 February, 2018	/fit/	2018 4chan Winter Cup - Group G	1-0 W	Read the Fucking Sticky  36'	Video
23 February, 2018	/u/	2018 4chan Winter Cup - Group G	1-2 L	Charles II  59'	Video
25 February, 2018	/mlp/	2018 4chan Winter Cup - Group G	0-2 L		Video
May 5, 2018	/vp/	2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup - Group G	1-5 L	>Holy>Roman>Empire  32'	Video
May 11, 2018	/trv/	2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup - Group G	2-3 L	26' Charles II  71' >Holy>Roman>Empire	Video
May 13, 2018	/lit/	2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup - Group G	3-7 L	Monsieur Lindy 6' Charles II  12' Bomber Harris  35'	Video
May 20, 2018	/b/	2018 4chan Spring Babby Cup - Group G	2-4 L	>Holy>Roman>Empire  42', 64'	Video
October 12, 2018	/a/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group C	1-0 W	Bismarck  85'	Video
October 13, 2018	/i/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group C	1-0 W	Charles II  72'	Video
October 14, 2018	/w/	2018 Autumn Babby Cup Qualifiers - Group C	0-3 D		Video

Unofficial Matches

Date	Opponent	Competition	Result	Scorers	Video
January 30, 2016	/trash/	2016 Winter Cup Unfriendlies	2-3 L	Rasputin's Dick  21' Bismarck  43'
January 7, 2017	/vg/	2017 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies	1-3 L	Bismarck  30'
May 6, 2017	/block/	Invite challenge	4-5 L
January 19, 2018	/pol/	2018 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies	1-3 L	88' Bismarck
January 20, 2018	/vg/	2018 4chan Winter Cup Friendlies	2-5 L	Charles II  54', 63'
May 20, 2018	/trash/	Wooden Spoon Match	13-1 W	2', 17', 20', 23' >Holy>Roman>Empire  12', 27', 31', 34' Mongolian Horse Archer  15' Julius Caesar  63', 71' Napoleon  79', 90+1' Maoist Worst Nightmare	Video

Team Statistics

Italics denote retired players

Goalscorers

Who /his/ here?

Player	Goals	Assists
>Holy>Roman>Empire	39	11
Bismarck	14	10
Napoleon	4	7
Charles II	4	4
Vlad the Implier	2	4
Mongolian Horse Archer	0	3
Bomber Harris	4	2
Monsieur Lindy	1	1
Lutheran Shitposter	0	1
Charlemagne	0	1
Shitposting Cossack	1	0
Anarco-Memeism	1	0
Empire for Sale	0	1
>Marxism	0	1
Eternal Anglo	0	1
Carl von Clausewitz	0	1

Goalkeepers

Player	Starts	Saves	Clean Sheets
Isonzo river	6	7	2
Maginot Line	4	19	1
Great Wall of China	7	20	0
Julius Caesar	3	5	0
Christian Dark Ages	10	23	3

Records

Holder	Date	Record	Match
/his/ (Tied)	May 6, 2016	Most goals scored in a single match for the losing team with 5.	/his/  5 - 6  /lit/
>Holy>Roman>Empire	May 6, 2016	Fastest brace, scoring in 44' and 45' (1 minute).	/his/  5 - 6  /lit/
>Holy>Roman>Empire	May 6, 2016	Fastest hattrick, scoring in 44', 45', and 49' (5 minutes).	/his/  5 - 6  /lit/
>Holy>Roman>Empire	May 6, 2016	Fastest double brace, scoring in 44', 45', 49', and 54' (10 minutes).	/his/  5 - 6  /lit/
/his/	July 28, 2017	Most free kicks awarded to a single team with 10.	/s4s/  2 - 3  /his/
/his/	May 21, 2018	Most goals allowed by a team within a single tournament with 19.	/b/  4 - 2  /his/
/his/ (Tied)	May 21, 2018	Lowest GD in a group stage with -11.	/b/  4 - 2  /his/

Rivalries

The Spooker Bowl Both boards like dusty old books, but whose are better? In a /his/toric first Babby match, the goals poured in for /lit/ until >HRE fought back to turn what would have been a humiliating defeat into a narrow 5-6 loss.

0-0-2

The Edgelord Derby It could hardly be avoided - people were tired of /pol/ shitposting. It was impossible to have meaningful conversation on anything remotely related to the last three centuries of history without Bob McDuff of Alabama injecting his fetid political ideology into matters long done-and-dusted. Based Hiro heard our call and created /his/, where in a (mostly) civil matter, anons discuss history and the humanities as they are studied. Mercifully, /pol/ are now contained in their conspiratard safe space, free to jerk off to framed infographics long-debunked and portraits of Stalin, Donald Trump and other wingnuts. When these edgelords take the field against us, they must be reminded of the singular indisputable lesson of /his/tory: Those who fail to learn from it, are doomed to repeat it.

0-0-1

The Siege of Lesbos A rivalry forged in the fires of 4cc competition, rather than from actual board relations. Still, ever since the two teams met for the first time, they were seemingly inseparable. From the first ever Elite run for /his/ being cut short by the Y/u/ris, to being relegated by them in the very next cup, it seemed the two might just have a bone to pick. But when the defending lesbian champions spooned their Summer 18 run, only to be drawn against the current babby spoon holder in /his/ for their very first game, people started suspecting that (((some))) unusual forces might be at play here, especially since every time the two boards met, one of them would end up in the final of the same cup. We also just can't fucking beat them.

0-0-3

Team photos

• 

  Summer 2017 squad

• 

  Spring 2018 squad

Gallery

"Alright, consider me convinced. /his/ is actually a good team."

— DrBorisG, 2016 Spring Qualifiers

"Always a /his/ fan"

— PAVAL, 2018 Spring

• 

  El capitán dribbling up the pitch

• 

  (Former)L'capitan dribbling up the pitch

• 

  Born to feel

• 

  >Propoganda following the /his/ vs. /lit/ match

• 

  Julius Caesar contemplating his life choices.

• 

  Anarco-Memeism scores during the /n/ match.

• 

  Napoleon gets bumped by a lesbian sweet

• 

  >Wiki page about the 2018 Spring campaign