/egg/
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/egg/ - Engineering Games General | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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We are those dedicated to maintaining the small, drifting playerbases of (sometimes obscure, sometimes dead) engineering-related games by pouring them into a single general.
Then arguing about what the hell is meant by 'engineering' in this context.
Have you been blessed by the presence of CLANG today?
History
In The Beginning...
When first formed in VGL 8, the team was entirely Eggman because there were no other aesthetics and we dropped out after a mediocre qualifying group performance. With little remaining interest, we lowered it into the grave.
VGL 12 to 15 - Rebirth & The Curse
The will of The Omnissiah compelled us to try again many years later, and a resurrected /egg/ (now with actual models) managed to autopilot all the way through to 7th place in VGL 12 with the power of broken physics.
What followed was a rollercoaster ride of results with a dramatic fall to 40th place in VGL 13 after a horrible group stage, riding a meme train of 17 CBs all the way back up to joint 7th with /domg/ for VGL 14, then failing to leave the group stage with 2 losses once again in VGL 15. The team had gained the curse (...or blessing, maybe?) of a cycle between failure and success, even going as far as identical results: exiting the group stage on odd-numbered leagues, followed by only losing to the champions in quarterfinals - even as far as drawing & winning the same number of matches during even leagues. However...
VGL 16 to 18 - The Curse Wavers
VGL 16's /akg/ match weakened the cycle with the team losing earlier than usual to one that did not survive the final game. The eggs were no longer balanced. VGL 17 continued to buck the trend by letting us escape the clutches of Group D for a rematch (note: unsuccessful) against /drg/. VGL 18 finally ended the cycle - an even league with the literal worst group showing we'd ever had.
VGL 19 onwards - The Heresy Arc
VGL 19's horrific spaghetti performance cemented the Omnissiah's abandonment of /egg/.
It was time... to make our own tactics.
In the VGL X-2 Qualifiers, the managing began. Poorly. The game against /bag/ failed miserably, then got even worse against /uma/. Suddenly, an Anon in the thread revealed that he had actually played PES before. Some timely advice on his end turned things around so fast that /wtg/ suffered a surprise defeat, preventing total humiliation on our end. Someone who's played the game before knows how it works? Shocking, I know.
Sadly, this wasn't enough to keep us in the running for that league.
VGL 21 started off strong and finally dragged us off the bottom of the pile, but sadly some tactical jokery and medal-benching tomfoolery couldn't get us out of groups (especially against /vgt/, good lord they wiped the floor with everyone) so we had to settle for King of the Qualies.
Info
REMOVE MANAGER remove manager you are worst manager. you are the manager idiot you are the manager smell.
Note from the caretaker: This team is eternally on autopilot because none of us understand divegrass, so if anyone wants to take the reins for tactics then look for me in Discord (or just yell in the thread).
I'd try them myself but >implying I play PES, and trusting an """AI""" fits our theme
We management now.
- Possum
Current latest POI (as of VGL 19) here
Match recordings here
Roster
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Meet The Starters
The big boys up front, forging a path forwards of scientific discovery. Very slowly. They're not actually trying to, they just want to blow things up faster.
Thomasformer Machinecraft |
#20 |
All the way from the Isle of Sodor, | |
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>Physician Robocraft |
#6 |
"Dude I don't want to do physics and maths | |
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Jebediah "Motherfucking" Kerman Kerbal Space Program |
#10 |
The madman of Kerbin himself. | |
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FAILURE Infinifactory |
#12 |
The remains of some poor schmuck | |
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testing | ignore this | |
shoo | ||
look at the music bit, it's nicer |
Meet The Benchwarmers
Just as good (usually) as the main lads, but they do feel a bit underappreciated sometimes.
Icarus Dyson Sphere Program |
#3 |
Employee of a mysterious power- | |
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>Structural Integrity Highly subjective |
#8 |
We appreciate the sentiment, but it's | |
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Boiling Water Everything |
#9 |
Coal. Nuclear. Even fusion, | |
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BLUE, HURT An insane Finnish man |
#13 |
It's a robot that uses artificial | |
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Godforsaken Astronaut Randy Regier |
#15 |
A representative for all the poor | |
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Anataeus Vaya Opus Magnum |
#16 |
The autistic alchemist. He just wants to make | |
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Meet The Rejects
The players voted out for various reasons - not relevant any more, not quite popular enough, or just plain dumb.
John Madden |
Football! |
SHINY AND CHROME WITNESS MEEEE |
-6rd |
The warcry of all those who wish | |
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Satisfactory ...Satisfactory |
-4rd |
Voted in as /egg/ enough for a new | |
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KEEEEEEEEN Keen Code House |
-2st |
The exasperated call of an engie suffering | |
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Gallery
Full page here (in early access) - ingame shots of the players as they do their thing.
Match History
All (recorded) matches can be seen here.
Official Matches
Competition | Date | Opponent | Result | Scorers | ||
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/vg/ League 8 Qualifiers B |
2017, June 2nd | ![]() |
0 - 1 | John Madden ![]() | ||
2017, June 3rd | ![]() |
1 - 3 | Smug Marek ![]() | |||
2017, June 4th | ![]() |
1 - 0 | KEEEEEEEEN ![]() | |||
/vg/ League 12 Group I |
2019, June 9th | ![]() |
2 - 2 | CLANG ![]() ![]() | ||
2019, June 15th | ![]() |
5 - 0 | Thomasformer ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
2019, June 21st | ![]() |
2 - 0 | CLANG ![]() ![]() | |||
Round of 16 | 2019, June 29th | ![]() |
4 - 2 | Thomasformer ![]() ![]() | ||
Quarterfinals | 2019, June 30th | ![]() |
0 - 1 | >Physician ![]() | ||
/vg/ League 13 Group B |
2019, November 22nd | ![]() |
2 - 3 | Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons ![]() ![]() | ||
2019, December 1st | ![]() |
3 - 4 | Mechanically. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
FUCKING AEIOU ![]() | ||
2019, December 7th | ![]() |
1 - 1 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() | |||
/vg/ League 14 Group K |
2020, June 7th | ![]() |
4 - 2 | CLANG ![]() ![]() | ||
2020, June 13th | ![]() |
4 - 1 | CLANG ![]() ![]() | |||
2020, June 19th | ![]() |
2 - 2 | CLANG ![]() | |||
Round of 16 | 2020, June 27th | ![]() |
1 - 1 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() |
Penalties: 4 - 1 (CLANG ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |
Quarterfinals | 2020, June 28th | ![]() |
1 - 3 | CLANG ![]() | ||
/vg/ League 15 Group E |
2020, November 21st | ![]() |
1 - 4 | Thomasformer ![]() |
...we just couldn't Alice. | |
2020, November 27th | ![]() |
5 - 2 | CLANG ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
2020, December 6th | ![]() |
2 - 3 | Thomasformer ![]() ![]() | |||
/vg/ League 16 Group L |
2021, May 23rd | ![]() |
4 - 1 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() ![]() | ||
2021, May 29th | ![]() |
1 - 0 | CLANG ![]() | |||
2021, June 4th | ![]() |
5 - 0 | CLANG ![]() ![]() |
CLANG with the 9.0! | ||
Round of 16 | 2021, June 12th | ![]() |
3 - 3 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() ![]() |
Early Access. ![]() |
Penalties: 0 - 2 (FOUR MISSES) |
/vg/ League 17 Group D |
2021, November 26th | ![]() |
4 - 3 | Thomasformer ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
2021, December 5th | ![]() |
1 - 5 | CLANG ![]() |
>Physician ![]() | ||
2021, December 11th | ![]() |
4 - 2 | Thomasformer ![]() ![]() ![]() | |||
Survival Round | 2021, December 17th | ![]() |
1 - 2 | Thomasformer ![]() | ||
/vg/ League 18 Group D |
2022, June 17th | ![]() |
1 - 1 | CLANG ![]() |
Non-canon eggsdra dime ended in a 1 - 3 loss | |
2022, June 26th | ![]() |
1 - 2 | CLANG ![]() | |||
2022, July 2nd | ![]() |
0 - 2 | 6 damn saves from Eggman, with nothing to back them up | |||
/vg/ League 19 Group L |
2022, November 27th | ![]() |
0 - 1 | Complete fukken spaghetti-fest if I do say so myself | ||
2022, December 3rd | ![]() |
2 - 2 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() ![]() | |||
2022, December 9th | ![]() |
1 - 7 | CLANG ![]() |
The Chad ![]() |
thi̺̜͗sͪ is the la̤ͤͤst s̑͝t́raẘ̸̢͜ gǫ͉̜̻̺̅̀̐̀͋̀̈̊̚d͓̜̮̤̈́͑ͩ̋̍ͩ͋͌ͩ͢ d̦͉ͩ̾am̵̛̹̬͂ͭ̒̑ͪ͟n̸̛͔̦ͭͣ͟͠ iͦt͉͟ | |
/vg/ League X-2 Qualifiers B |
2023, June 2nd | ![]() |
1 - 3 | Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons ![]() |
Landing Gear. ![]() |
The tictacs begin... poorly |
2023, June 3rd | ![]() |
0 - 5 | Well that soiled it | |||
2023, June 4th | ![]() |
3 - 1 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() |
>Physician ![]() |
Timely PES knowledge from anon | |
/vg/ League 21 Qualifiers A |
2023, November 17th | ![]() |
2 - 1 | Mechanically Legendary Autism ![]() | ||
2023, November 18th | ![]() |
1 - 0 | Mechanically Legendary Autism ![]() | |||
2023, November 19th | ![]() |
3 - 2 | Epically Engineered Autism ![]() ![]() ![]() |
WE'RE BACK BABYYYYY | ||
Group J | 2023, November 26th | ![]() |
2 - 5 | Mechanically Legendary Autism ![]() | ||
2023, December 2nd | ![]() |
2 - 2 | COMMON CLANG ![]() ![]() | |||
2023, December 8th | ![]() |
3 - 3 | RARE CLANG ![]() |
Common Engine ![]() |
It was alright. | |
Unofficial Matches
Competition | Date | Opponent | Result | Scorers | ||
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'13 Friendlies | 2019, September 29th | ![]() |
0 - 2 | |||
2019, October 4th | ![]() |
0 - 1 | huehuehu we stole jeb after this | |||
'14 Friendlies | 2020, March 22 | ![]() |
1 - 2 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() | ||
2020, March 27 | ![]() |
3 - 4 | CLANG ![]() |
Mechanically. ![]() ![]() | ||
'15 Friendlies | 2020, September 25th | ![]() |
1 - 2 | CLANG ![]() |
KEEEEEEEEN ![]() | |
'16 Friendlies | 2021, March 27th | ![]() |
2 - 3 | Mechanically Engineered Autism ![]() ![]() | ||
'17 Friendlies | 2021, October 3rd | ![]() |
3 - 2 | Chaos Engine ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Landing Gear. ![]() | |
'19 Friendlies | 2022, September 16th | ![]() |
3 - 0 | Landing Gear. ![]() ![]() ![]() | ||
2022, September 23rd | ![]() |
1 - 2 | CLANG ![]() | |||
X-2 Friendlies | 2023, March 25th | ![]() |
2 - 4 | Landing Gear. ![]() ![]() | ||
2023, March 26th | ![]() |
6 - 2 | Mechanically. ![]() ![]() | |||
2023, April 2nd | ![]() |
2 - 3 | Note: this is hearsay because the match wasn't recorded | |||
Music
Every good team needs some bangers to listen to while figuring out how to automate the next science tier.
Main Themes | Goalhorns | Chants | ||
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Team Anthem - Hymn To Breaking Strain
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Main Goalhorn - Dinosauroid
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Player Autistics
Stats as of: End of VGL 21
Player | Goals | Assists | MotMs |
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CLANG | 37 | 21 | 12 |
Mechanically Engineered Autism | 25 | 14 | 6 |
Thomasformer | 11 | 9 | 1 |
Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons | 6 | 16 | 0 |
Chaos Engine | 1 | 3 | 0 |
Gas The Marek | 1 | 1 | 0 |
Turrents | 1 | 1 | 0 |
EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME | 1 | 0 | 0 |
KEEEEEEEEN | 1 | 0 | 0 |
The Chad Stormworks Player | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Nick "Unification" Smart | 0 | 1 | 0 |
Saves
Keeper | Saves |
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Eggman | 89 |
Nick "Unification" Smart | 3 |
Early Access Sandbox Game | 2 |
Square-chan | 1 |
Eggman is our pride and joy, so we made him captain then stuck him in goal. Don't worry, we definitely know what we're doing.
Records
Player | Date | Match | Record |
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Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons | 2020 June 7th | VGL 14 ![]() |
Latest goal in a regulation length match, scoring at 90+8' (beating the previous record by one second!) |
CLANG | 2021 June 4th | VGL 16 ![]() |
The first official VGL 9.0 player rating! P̮̞̲̼̰͞R̞̳̯̹͙ͅA̲I̩̣̝̙͍͢S҉͉̱̰͓̦̩̪E̵̱̹͔ͅ ҉C̩͖͍L̝̞̹̮̠̘A̭̘N̼̫̬͖̫͓G̜̝͈͓!̜̲̹̬̺̼ |
Team Awards
Award | League |
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Best Anthem - Hymn To Breaking Strain | VGL 17 |
Physicians
Player | Date | Match | Retard moment |
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aeiou | 2019 December 21st | VGL 13 ![]() |
/egg/'s first own goal. Bounced directly off his ass, and lost us the match. Good job, son. |
Exports
If something's fucked, I swear it's CLANG's doing
League | Main | Friendly |
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VGL 21 |
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VGL X-2 |
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VGL 19 |
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VGL 18 |
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VGL 17 |
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VGL 16 |
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VGL 15 |
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VGL 14 |
Aes. lost lmao, | |
VGL 13 |
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VGL 12 |
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