/egg/

/egg/
Praise CLANG!
/egg/ - Engineering Games General
Founded May 5th, 2017 Manager Kovarex Owner Wube Software Ltd. IRL manager PossumT !!PEi0xNGJbQl Team colors Chat color C11200 Blood! Blood for the CLANG God! Ranking 8 ( 10) Highest rank 8th (June 29th, 2024) Lowest rank 51st (December 18th, 2022) Top scorer CLANG (49) Top assister CLANG (25) Captain Eggman Website /egg/ - Engineering Games General Nickname Formerly /svgg/
Historic performance
W D L TOTAL EFFICIENCY 23 9 22 54 42.59%
GF GA GD 110 108 +2
Biggest win /egg/  5–0  /gbfg/ June 4th, 2021 (prev. 5-0  /feg/, 2019/06/05) Biggest defeat /egg/  1–7  /@/ December 9th, 2022 First match /egg/  0–1  /pg/ June 2nd, 2017
/vg/ League Appearances 14 (First in /vg/ League 8 Qualifiers) Best result 7th, /vg/ League 12, /vg/ League 14, /vg/ League 24
Team music
Anthem Hymn to Breaking Strain Victory Anthem E.G.G.M.A.N. Goal horn Dinosauroid
Kits

We are those dedicated to maintaining the small, drifting playerbases of (sometimes obscure, sometimes dead) engineering-related games by pouring them into a single general.
Then arguing over what the hell 'engineering' means in this context.

Have you been blessed by the presence of CLANG today?

History

In The Beginning...

When first formed in VGL 8, the team was entirely Eggman because there were no other models and we dropped out after a mediocre qualifying group performance. With little remaining interest, we lowered it into the grave.

VGL 12 to 15 - The Curse

The will of The Omnissiah compelled us to try again many years later, and a resurrected /egg/ (now with actual models) managed to autopilot all the way through to 7th place in VGL 12 with the power of broken physics.
What followed was a rollercoaster ride of results with a dramatic fall to 40th place in VGL 13 after a horrible group stage, riding a meme train of 17 CBs all the way back up to joint 7th with /domg/ for VGL 14, then failing to leave the group stage with 2 losses once again in VGL 15. The team had gained the curse (...or blessing, maybe?) of a cycle between failure and success, even going as far as identical results: exiting the group stage on odd-numbered leagues, followed by only losing to the champions in quarterfinals - even as far as drawing & winning the same number of matches during even leagues. However...

VGL 16 to 18 - The Curse Wavers

VGL 16's /akg/ match weakened the cycle with the team losing earlier than usual to one that did not survive the final game. The eggs were no longer balanced. VGL 17 continued to buck the trend by letting us escape the clutches of Group D for a rematch (note: unsuccessful) against /drg/. VGL 18 finally ended the cycle - an even league with the literal worst group showing we'd ever had.

VGL 19 to 22 - The Possum Heresy

VGL 19's horrific spaghetti performance cemented the Omnissiah's abandonment of /egg/.
It was time... to make our own tactics.

In the VGL X-2 Qualifiers, the managing began. Poorly. The game against /bag/ failed miserably, then got even worse against /uma/. Suddenly, an Anon in the thread revealed that he had actually played PES before. Some timely advice on his end turned things around so fast that /wtg/ suffered a surprise defeat, preventing total humiliation on our end. Someone who's played the game before knows how it works? Shocking, I know.
Sadly, this wasn't enough to keep us in the running for that league.

VGL 21 started off strong and finally dragged us off the bottom of the pile, but sadly some tactical jokery and medal-benching tomfoolery couldn't get us out of groups (especially against /vgt/, good lord they wiped the floor with everyone) so we had to settle for King of the Qualies.

VGL 22 was 4/10, it was alright. Literally, there were 10 goals in our matches and 4 were ours. A poor showing against /gbpen/ meant that our /psg/ victory and valiant effort against /lcg/ still lead to us dropping out through goal difference. New players Icarus, Boiling Water and Amazon Warehouse Wagie - along with the new model for FAILURE - got their time on the pitch though, so that was nice.

VGL 23 onwards - Return to Form

Blasting our way into VGL 23 with an early contender for best match of the tournament, /bag/ fell after an insane exchange of goals left us winning 5-4. Reverting to old models for PES 17 due to the manager procrastinating again a problem with the cloning process didn't seem to hold the boys back in the slightest. The Clash of the Eggs against /sthg/ ended in victory... locking group K in for us and /wtg/ (whom we promptly lost to).
Finally, /egg/ left groups, after 5 leagues of waiting.
Then we lost to /hanny/. Admittedly it was a tense match, with the highly intriguing tactic of "Go +2 and stay +2" almost working.

VGL 24 saw three new matchups, resulting in two victories and a draw against /smbg/, /mjg/ and /ddg/ respectively. For the first time since The Penalties Incident all the way back in VGL 16, we broke straight into the Round of 16. A slight slurper against newcomers /wowg/, and we'd done it.
For the first time in 10 leagues and 4 years, a quarterfinal. Despite a sad loss to a /kfg/ with a horrifyingly strong keeper (who literally MATCHED THE HIGHEST VGL GAME SAVE COUNT against us), we finally proved that us reaching 7th wasn't just for autopilots to achieve.

You hear that, VGL 25? Line go up. We are coming for you.

Info

REMOVE MANAGER remove manager you are worst manager. you are the manager idiot you are the manager smell.

The autopilot was flying us too low.
We management now.
- Possum

POI as of VGL 24 here
Match recordings here

Roster

Actual positions subject to the whim of whatever tactics we're using at any given time

No. Position Player 1   GK Eggman 2   CB EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME 3   CB Boiling Water 4   CB aeiou 5   DMF The Chad Stormworks Player 6   CMF >Physician 19   LMF Chaos Engine 20   AMF Thomasformer 22   RMF Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons 21   SS Mechanically Engineered Autism 23   CF CLANG

No. Position Player 7   GK Square-chan 8   LB >Structural Integrity 9   CB Icarus 10   CB Jebediah Kerman 11   CB SPIDERTRON 12   RB FAILURE 13   DMF BLUE, HURT 14   DMF Amazon Warehouse Wagie 15   CMF Godforsaken Astronaut 16   CMF Anataeus Vaya 17   LMF Turrents 18   RMF DAKKA

Meet The Starters

The big boys up front, forging a path forwards of scientific discovery. Very slowly. They're not actually trying to, they just want to blow things up faster.

Eggman Sonic The Hedgehog franchise

Mechanically Engineered Autism Most /egg/s

CLANG H̸͕̮E͕̗̱̠ͅ ̛͓̫͙̖C͖̪̪̣̼O̞͟M̭̥̻͚̘Ḛ͖̼͍́S̨̹̰̫̮͖͚͇

Chaos Engine Besiege

Thomasformer Machinecraft

Landing Gear On Rotors On Pistons Space Engineers

The Chad Stormworks Player Stormworks

>Physician Robocraft

Jebediah "Motherfucking" Kerman Kerbal Space Program

SPIDERTRON Factorio

FAILURE Infinifactory

#1 (Captain)

#21

#23

#19

#20

#22

#5

#6

#10

#11

#12

Flag bearer for every misunderstood mechanically-brained maniac out there. He has an announcement to make.

"All in all, it works pretty good if I don't touch anything. Literally. If I get too close to the cars I cause the whole thing to jam." - Anon (aka BadBagel), creator of... The Centrifuge

You are building your ship, when you hear the distant sound of metal on metal. As the sound creeps closer, you cry, for you know what will come. All you can do is pray that he does not take you.

Yep, it's a flaming ball attached to some sawblades. A highly unsafe device born during the height of /v/'s foray into the mechanics of Besiege, this baby can produce enough torque to tear apart any contraption.

All the way from the Isle of Sodor, the brainchild of a madman and a bangin' battlehorn by the Vengaboys, give it up for ya boi MOTHERFUCKING THOMASFORMERRRRRRRRRRR

Shaking hands with danger to achieve strange goals during the construction of mining vehicles. Combinations of moving parts that frequently (violently) disagree with physics.

Look at this man. He will make a plane with the same mass as an Ikea wardrobe that takes off in seconds. How does the engine work? Why does it work? He doesn't know. He doesn't care. Recruited: VGL 16

"Dude I don't want to do physics and maths to play this shit, I'm not a fucking physician, I just want to fucking play lego robots. Fuck off with your boring school crap." - Lost child, /rcg/ c. 2014

The Madman of Kerbin himself. On indefinite loan from /kspg/ while they suffer ego death, this guy has no sense of fear and an addiction for adrenaline. For most KSP players he's dead by their third mission. Recruited: VGL 16

God damn look at those legs

The remains of some poor schmuck who was unwittingly placed in a position they were clearly not qualified for. Exhumed: VGL 16

Meet The Benchwarmers

Just as good (usually) as the main lads, but they do feel a bit underappreciated sometimes.

EARLY ACCESS SANDBOX GAME Steam Early Access

Icarus Dyson Sphere Program

aeiou? aeiou!

Square-chan (formerly Robokek) Robocraft

>Structural Integrity Highly subjective

Boiling Water Everything

BLUE, HURT An insane Finnish man

Amazon Warehouse Wagie Satisfactory

Godforsaken Astronaut Randy Regier

Anataeus Vaya Opus Magnum

Turrents Factorio

DAKKA WAAAGH

#2

#3

#4

#7

#8

#9

#13

#14

#15

#16

#17

#Ayteen

Alright, so you're making a game. You've got the physics. The blocks, the items and the player models. The multiplayer might even function! It's time to put it on the store to let people have an early look at your dream child. ...content? What the fuck is 'content'?

Employee of a mysterious galaxy-spanning conglomerate, this mech WILL steal your sun's energy output and there's nothing those stupid robots can do about it Landed: VGL 22

Football!

The poster girl for meta-shitpost shipbuilding, renamed for herself rather than the long-dead game she represents. Arguably BobdaBiscuit's most famous child before Thomasformer (yes, the madman made both).

We appreciate the sentiment, but it's more of an afterthought when you're going for efficiency.

Coal. Nuclear. Even fusion, when we get around to it. If it generates heat, we WILL use it to boil water. Recruited: VGL 22

It's a robot that uses artificial neurons to simulate pain. Invented by a Finn, obviously.

Employee of a mysterious galaxy-spanning conglomerate, this poor bastard was dumped on some backwater planet and told to get a move on with the resource shipments. Landed: VGL 22

A representative for all the poor bastards lost to unscheduled re-entries and the void of space.

The autistic alchemist. He just wants to make compounds in peace, kindly stop bothering him and let him continue with his work. Recruited: VGL 16

The unsung hero of xenophobic expansionism. Remember to keep the ammo topped up! Yes that's how it's spelled, stop asking. Constructed: VGL 16

Dis greenboi's gotta lotta gunz, and 'e's not afraid ta use 'em. EVERYFIN needs more dakka ya filfy grot.

Graveyard

The players voted out for various reasons - not relevant any more, not quite popular enough, or just plain dumb.

Marek Rosa Keen Code House

John Madden John Madden Football

RIP SERB Space Engineers

SHINY AND CHROME WITNESS MEEEE

M1 Bradley Pentagon Wars

Lemonhulk Space Engineers

KEEEEEEEEN Keen Code House

BLANEDS Space Engineers

Bumbling idiot, or genius exit scammer? Retired: VGL 15

Having two Moonbase Alpha reps was a bit silly. Retired: VGL 21

Server's down. Again. Retired: VGL 15

The warcry of those who wish to be WITNESSED Retired: VGL 15

"It's... it's a troop carrier, General" Retired: VGL 15

"Space hulk". A vast, asymmetrical spaceship... Retired: VGL 15

Shitass company. Shitass game. Retired: VGL 15

Shitass mechanic. Dead meme. Retired: VGL 15

Gallery

Full page here (in early access) - ingame shots of the players as they do their thing.

Match History

All (recorded) matches can be seen here.

Official Matches

Competition	Date	Opponent	Result	Autistics
/vg/ League 8 Qualifiers B	2017, June 2nd	/pg/	0 - 1		John Madden  76'		A
	2017, June 3rd	/agdg/	1 - 3	Smug Marek  22'			A
	2017, June 4th	/civ4xg/	1 - 0	KEEEEEEEEN  73'			H
/vg/ League 12 Group I	2019, June 9th	/agdg/	2 - 2	CLANG  16', Mechanically Engineered Autism  78'			A
	2019, June 15th	/feg/	5 - 0	Thomasformer  15', 56', Early Access Sandbox Game  42', Mechanically Engineered Autism  59', CLANG  70'			A
	2019, June 21st	/vitagen/	2 - 0	CLANG  75', Chaos Engine  84'			H
Round of 16	2019, June 29th	/gfg/	4 - 2	Thomasformer  20', CLANG  45+2' (pen.), 50', 75' (the first of many hat tricks)			A
Quarterfinals	2019, June 30th	/dbg/	0 - 1		>Physician  36'		A
/vg/ League 13 Group B	2019, November 22nd	/drg/	2 - 3	Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  19', CLANG  52'			H
	2019, December 1st	/vrg/	3 - 4	Mechanically...  11', CLANG  27', Thomasformer  72'	FUCKING AEIOU  81'		H
	2019, December 7th	/alg/	1 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  89'			A
/vg/ League 14 Group K	2020, June 7th	/mcg/	4 - 2	CLANG  4', 24', Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  38', 90+8'			H
	2020, June 13th	/nepgen/	4 - 1	CLANG  6', 53', 55', Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  15'			A
	2020, June 19th	/mggg/	2 - 2	CLANG  25', 90+1'			H
Round of 16	2020, June 27th	/d2g/	1 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  76'	Penalties: 4 - 1 (CLANG , Thomas... , Mechanically... , Landing... )		H
Quarterfinals	2020, June 28th	/ssbg/	1 - 3	CLANG  35'			A
/vg/ League 15 Group E	2020, November 21st	/hgg2d/	1 - 4	Thomasformer  26'	...we just couldn't Alice.		H
	2020, November 27th	/2hug/	5 - 2	CLANG  16', Landing Gear...  31', Thomasformer  43', 86', Mechanically...  74'			A
	2020, December 6th	/drag/	2 - 3	Thomasformer  26', CLANG  36'			H
/vg/ League 16 Group L	2021, May 23rd	/eftg/	4 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  21', 35', 56', CLANG  75'			H
	2021, May 29th	/fg/	1 - 0	CLANG  7'			A
	2021, June 4th	/gbfg/	5 - 0	CLANG  24', 45+2', 90+0', Mechanically...  65', 84'	CLANG with the 9.0! First ever in the VGL!		H
Round of 16	2021, June 12th	/akg/	3 - 3	Mechanically Engineered Autism  59', CLANG  85', 90+3'	Early Access...  78'	Penalties: 0 - 2 (FOUR MISSES)	H
/vg/ League 17 Group D	2021, November 26th	/wtg/	4 - 3	Thomasformer  7', Mechanically Engineered Autism  70', 80', Turrents  90+1'			H
	2021, December 5th	/dng/	1 - 5	CLANG  69'	>Physician  45+0'		H
	2021, December 11th	/utg/	4 - 2	Thomasformer  10', CLANG  37', 86', Mechanically Engineered Autism  55'			A
Survival Round	2021, December 17th	/drg/	1 - 2	Thomasformer  43'			H
/vg/ League 18 Group D	2022, June 17th	/ggg/	1 - 1	CLANG  59'	Non-canon eggsdra dime ended in a 1 - 3 loss		H
	2022, June 26th	/vn/	1 - 2	CLANG  39'			A
	2022, July 2nd	/twg/	0 - 2		6 damn saves from Eggman, with nothing to back them up		H
/vg/ League 19 Group L	2022, November 27th	/indie/	0 - 1		Complete fukken spaghetti-fest if I do say so myself		A
	2022, December 3rd	/きらら/	2 - 2	Mechanically Engineered Autism  26', CLANG  56'			A
	2022, December 9th	/@/	1 - 7	CLANG  9'	The Chad...  33'	thi̺̜͗sͪ is the la̤ͤͤst s̑͝t́raẘ̸̢͜ gǫ͉̜̻̺̅̀̐̀͋̀̈̊̚d͓̜̮̤̈́͑ͩ̋̍ͩ͋͌ͩ͢ d̦͉ͩ̾am̵̛̹̬͂ͭ̒̑ͪ͟n̸̛͔̦ͭͣ͟͠ iͦt͉͟	H
/vg/ League X-2 Qualifiers B	2023, June 2nd	/bag/	1 - 3	Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  45 + 0'	Landing Gear...  21'	The tictacs begin... poorly	H
	2023, June 3rd	/uma/	0 - 5			Well that soiled it	A
	2023, June 4th	/wtg/	3 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  48', 68', 74' (and an 8.5!)	>Physician  53'	Timely PES knowledge from anon saved us	H
/vg/ League 21 Qualifiers A	2023, November 17th	/tf2g/	2 - 1	Mechanically Legendary Autism  15', 60'			H
	2023, November 18th	/assg/	1 - 0	Mechanically Legendary Autism  45'			A
	2023, November 19th	/ink/	3 - 2	Epically Engineered Autism  31', Landing Gear on Rares on Pistons  53', RARE CLANG  64'		WE'RE BACK BABYYYYY	H
Group J	2023, November 26th	/vgt/	2 - 5	Mechanically Legendary Autism  14', 32'			A
	2023, December 2nd	/nikg/	2 - 2	COMMON CLANG  17', Legendary on Rotors on Pistons  89'			A
	2023, December 8th	/gbpen/	3 - 3	RARE CLANG  14, 36, 45+1'	Common Engine  84'	It was alright	H
/vg/ League 22 Group K	2024, June 9th	/psg/	3 - 2	CLANG  45+1', Mechanically Engineered Autism  50', 72'		New on the pitch: Icarus, Boiling Water	A
	2024, June 15th	/gbpen/	0 - 3	uh oh		New on the pitch: Satisfactory	A
	2024, June 21st	/lcg/	1 - 1	Mechanically Engineered Autism  88'	Curses, out on GD	Satisfactory -> Amazon Warehouse Wagie	H
/vg/ League 23 Group K	2024, December 1st	/bag/	5 - 4	CLANG  4', 56', 66', Thomasformer  11', Landing Gear...  63'	Boling Water  89'	Good God what a match	A
	2024, December 7th	/sthg/	3 - 1	CLANG  16', 90+3', Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  23'		Clash of the Eggs	H
	2024, December 13th	/wtg/	1 - 3	Mechanically Engineered Autism  40'			A
Survival Round	2024, December 20th	/hanny/	1 - 2	Mechanically Engineered Autism  79'		First knockout in 6 leagues, good lord	H
/vg/ League 24 Group F	2025, June 7th	/smbg/	4 - 2	CLANG  9', 24', 49', Mechanically Engineered Autism  63'		With 2 remaining subs and 0 saves...?	H
	2025, June 13th	/ddg/	1 - 1	Thomasformer  54'			A
	2025, June 22th	/mjg/	2 - 1	CLANG  45+0', Mechanically Engineered Autism  61'	Landing Gear.  47'	Well shit, our first ever red and it's a medal going into knockouts.	H
Round of 16	2025, June 28th	/wowg/	1 - 0	CLANG  34'		Stuck the landing (har har) with 2 subs spare again	H
Quarterfinals	2025, June 29th	/kfg/	2 - 4	Mechanically Engineered Autism  11', CLANG  83'		These tiny creatures got 13 SAVES	H

Unofficial Matches

I don't really know why but our performance is significantly worse in friendlies.
If anything, you'd expect the opposite.

Friendlies

Competition	Date	Opponent	Result	Scorers
'13 Friendlies	2019, September 29th	/dfg/ - The Lever Room Bowl	0 - 2
	2019, October 4th	/kspg/ - The Spacebowl	0 - 1	huehuehu we stole jeb after this
'14 Friendlies	2020, March 22	/tf2g/ - The Engiebowl	1 - 2	Mechanically Engineered Autism  66'
	2020, March 27	/digi/ - The Forsaken Auto Final	3 - 4	CLANG  15', 21', 86'	Mechanically.  74', Landing Gear.  82'
'15 Friendlies	2020, September 25th	/r6g/ - The (Be)Siegebowl	1 - 2	CLANG  90 + 1'	KEEEEEEEEN  15'
'16 Friendlies	2021, March 27th	/indie/ - The Early Access Bowl	2 - 3	Mechanically Engineered Autism  61', CLANG  90 + 2'
'17 Friendlies	2021, October 3rd	/ssbg/ - Grudge Match: Vengeance For '14	3 - 2	Chaos Engine  34', CLANG  42', Mechanically.  68'	Landing Gear.  77'
'19 Friendlies	2022, September 16th	/ss13g/ - The 2022 Cargonian War of Independence	3 - 0	Landing Gear.  6', Mechanically.  21', Thomasformer  35'
	2022, September 23rd	/d2g/ - The Micromanagementbowl	1 - 2	CLANG  71'
X-2 Friendlies	2023, March 25th	/akg/ - The Mobile City Bowl	2 - 4	Landing Gear.  4', Mechanically.  45+0'
	2023, March 26th	/aceg/ - The Aircraft & Artillery Bowl	2 - 6	Mechanically.  15', CLANG  69'
	2023, April 2nd	/mmg/ - The Stand (Man or Machine)	2 - 3	Mechanically.  15', CLANG  24'
'23 Friendlies	2024, October 4th	/hgg2d/ - Perverts vs Autists	2 - 3	Mechanically.  84', CLANG  90 + 1'	CLANG  42'
'24 Friendlies	2025, March 21st	/mmcg/ - Automation Bloatb Owl	2 - 3	CLANG  15', BLUE, HURT  45+2'	Turrents  77'	BLUE unexpectedly scoring with the brand new model!
	2025, March 23rd	/pg/ - Grudge Match: Mark of the Beast	0 - 2	Eggman suffered a stroke and did nothing for one of them

Invitationals

Competition	Date	Opponent	Result	Scorers
/vg/ RTTC 3 as  /spess/	2024, August 23rd	/sfmc/	2 - 3	Thomasformer  30', I WILL SET THE SEAS ABLAZE  71'			A
	2024, August 24th	/aniplex/	0 - 4			Good lord - Placement: 11th, dead last	A
Lads on Tour	2025, March 7th	/hanny/	2 - 2	CLANG  89', 90+4'		A very 'last minute' sort of match	A
	2025, March 8th	/dbg/	2 - 3	Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons  ?', Mechanically Engineered Autism  ?'		First appearance of the Besiege source cube!	H
	2025, March 8th	/fgog/	1 - 0	Icarus  90+3' after a horrific fumble that cheeky bastard	CLANG  63'	Not enough to carry us through groups - Placement: 5th	A

Music

Every good team needs some bangers to listen to while figuring out how to automate the next science tier.

Main Themes	Goalhorns	Chants
Team Anthem - Hymn To Breaking Strain File:EggAnthem (Hymn to Breaking Strain).mp3 Victory Anthem - E.G.G.M.A.N. File:EggVictory (E.G.G.M.A.N.).mp3 Clean Sheet Victory - Moonbase Alpha File:EggClean (Moonbase Alpha).mp3	Main Goalhorn - Dinosauroid File:EggHorn Default.mp3 CLANG - Metal Machine Music File:EggHorn CLANG.mp3 Mechanically Engineered - Create Machines File:EggHorn Mechanically.mp3 Thomas - THOMAS THE PARTY LELGINE File:EggHorn Thomas.mp3 Jeb - Everybody Wants To Be An Astronaut File:EggHorn Jeb.mp3 aeiou - Azumadden Daeiou File:EggHorn aeiou.mp3 Own Goal - Trust Me, I'm An Engineer! File:EggHorn Own.mp3	The Announcement File:EggChant ANNOUNCEMENT.mp3 Shadow's dick File:EggChant Shadow.mp3 Another Chinese earthquake File:EggChant Chinese.mp3 CBT patriots File:EggChant CBT.mp3 Moon comrades File:EggChant Moon Comrades.mp3 Gmod metal collisions File:EggChant GMod.mp3 MAKE PEEENIS INTO ROBOT File:EggChant MAKE PEEENIS.mp3 Jonathon Coulton - The Future Soon File:EggChant Future.mp3 Trust me, I'm an engineer! File:EggChant Trust.mp3 Pentagon Wars Adventures in bureaucracy "...fourteen." File:EggChant Pent Fourteen.mp3 Portholes. File:EggChant Pent Portholes.mp3 A scout? File:EggChant Pent Scout.mp3 "What are 'sheep specs'?!" File:EggChant Pent Sheep.mp3 The Bradley File:EggChant Pent Bradley.mp3

Player Autistics

Stats as of VGL 24 end

Player	Goals	Assists	MotMs
CLANG	49	25	17
Mechanically Engineered Autism	33	21	6
Thomasformer	13	13	1
Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons	10	19	0
Chaos Engine	1	4	0
Turrents	1	2	0
Early Access Sandbox Game	1	0	0
The Chad Stormworks Player	0	1	0
Boiling Water	0	1	0
Gas The Marek	1	1	0
KEEEEEEEEN	1	0	0
Nick "Unification" Smart	0	1	0

Saves

Keeper	Saves
Eggman	114
Early Access Sandbox Game	2
Square-chan	1
Nick "Unification" Smart	3

Eggman is our pride and joy, so we made him captain then stuck him in goal. Don't worry, we definitely know what we're doing.

Records

Player	Date	Match	Record
Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons	2020 June 7th	VGL 14  /mcg/	Latest goal in a regulation length match, scoring at 90+8' (beating the previous record by one second!)
CLANG	2021 June 4th	VGL 16  /gbfg/	The first official VGL 9.0 player rating! P̮̞̲̼̰͞R̞̳̯̹͙ͅA̲I̩̣̝̙͍͢S҉͉̱̰͓̦̩̪E̵̱̹͔ͅ ҉C̩͖͍L̝̞̹̮̠̘A̭̘N̼̫̬͖̫͓G̜̝͈͓!̜̲̹̬̺̼
Mechanically Engineered Autism	Nov '23 - Feb '25	Player of the Week	VGL PotW for 64 weeks in a row! Try and beat THAT, scrubs

Team Awards

League	Award
VGL 17	Best Anthem - Hymn To Breaking Strain

Physicians

Player	Date	Match	Retard moment
aeiou	2019 December 21st	VGL 13  /vrg/	Our first own goal. Bounced directly off his ass, and lost us the match.
Landing Gear on Rotors on Pistons	2025 June 22nd	VGL 24  /mjg/	/egg/'s first red card. Getting a bit too feisty resulted in us being down a silver for the knockouts.

Exports

If something's fucked, I swear it's CLANG's doing

Note:
Each link is the last version used before something changed, i.e. the roster or game. If something's not there, look to the next relevant upload.

RTTC 3: Aesthetics
Lads on Tour: Aesthetics

League	Main	Friendly
VGL 24 (PES 17)	Aesthetic, Music, Tactic	Tactics
VGL 23 (PES 17)	Tactics	Tactics
VGL 22 (PES 19)	Tactic	--
VGL 21 (PES 19)	Aesthetic, Music, Tactic	--
VGL X-2 (PES 19)	--	Tactic
VGL 19 (PES 21)	Autopilot	--
VGL 17 (PES 19)	Aesthetic, Autopilot	Autopilot
VGL 16 (PES 21)	Aesthetic, Autopilot	--
VGL 15 (PES 21)	Aesthetic, Music, Auto	--
VGL 14 (PES 16)	Aesthetic, Autopilot	--
VGL 13 (PES 16)	Autopilot	--