2013 4chan Summer Cup Group B

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Summary

Matchday 1

It wouldn't be the 4chan Cup without some spaghetti, and this game had spaghetti aplenty. From the endless rigging by the managers, especially former /a/ manager Bittenfeld, to Colossal Titan's colossal choking and the lack of any goals until the last 10 minutes of the game, this match was characterized by frustration, laughter, and utter disbelief. Accelerator proved himself a worthy contender for the Golden Glove, stopping seemingly impossible shots by /h/ that proved that Bittenfeld hadn't lost his drunken magic, and Cowboy Bebop proved that age hadn't dulled his leadership skills. /h/'s cheeky equalizer by team favorite Kneesocks ensured that this match would remain a source of frustration and anxiety long after it was over.

A shocking blowout by /tv/ and the biggest victory in /po/'s history, /po/ has truly shown that power rankings mean little in PES 2013. Paper Cut led the way with a hat trick, one of which came after /po/ manager PaperPlane decided to change tactics as /po/ lead /tv/ 4-0. Taking the X-Acto knife in hand and twisting it, he pushed /po/ into a super-offensive posture and cemented /tv/'s fall with a fifth goal in the 88th minute.

Matchday 2

SHEEEEEET-slinging politician Stringer Bell and WHAT A TWEEST screenwriter Steven Moffat were no match for a team of mostly blue-conditioned anime aces, as /a/ forced ball after ball past a sleepy /tv/ defense. All hope of /tv/ maintaining a shred of dignity was wiped out as colossal choker Colossal Titan pulled off his first goal of the tournament at the 91st minute of injury time, sealing /tv/'s death with yet another 5-0 blowout.

In the first scoreless draw of the Cup, which started with much rigging by a drunken Bittenfeld and ended with much rigging by a smashed Bittenfeld, saw /po/'s paper-sharp offense stopped by Garterbelt and /h/'s defense at every turn, while /h/'s star players were turned dizzy by their manager's drunken rigging magic and proved incapable of breaking the paper-armored defense of /po/. In the end, drunken magic saved /h/ from their own adaptation of /tv/'s rape by /po/, but it seems like /a/ and /po/ will be advancing to the knockouts.

Matchday 3

With the DEP rigging disabled, /tv/ was finally able to put themselves on the board. Among other thrilling moments, YIFY's first goal was an impressive header assisted by Stannis The Mannis, and Asuka's amazingly lucky lobbed answer set up viewers for a fun, brain-bleaching match. Titty Monster's blooter free kick and RHB's first and last goal of the cup, combined with horrible, horrible rigging by DrBorisG's fuck-up gave us an amusing, enjoyable end to our game. /tv/ fell, but /h/ still had stakes in the /po/-/a/ game, leaving fans on the edge of our seats as the tournament entered the end of Group B.

Two teams who blew out /tv/ fought, and one walked away. /a/ absolutely destroyed /po/ with a 5-0 scoreline. Colossal Titan finally proved his worth, scoring two goals alongside old favorites Mugi and Cowboy Bebop, while Inferno Cop scored his own first goal. Truly, with 8man in the goal and Inferno Cop and colossal Titan putting in goals, this was a game for /a/'s rookies to shine.

Standings

Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
A icon.png /a/ 3 2 1 0 11 1 10 7
H icon.png /h/ 3 1 2 0 4 3 1 5
Po icon.png /po/ 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Tv icon.png /tv/ 3 0 0 3 2 13 -11 0


/a/ v /h/

Stadium: Konami Stadium 16 August 2013, 18:00 UTC Attendance: 1212
A logo.png /a/ 1–1 /h/ H logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Cowboy Bebop Goal 81' Goal 86' Kneesocks



GK 5 Accelerator
RB 11 Eru Erufu
CB 3 Kenshiro Substituted in 68'
CB 16 Horahorahora
LB 6 Boku no Pico
DM 14 Best Girl Thread Booked 35' Substituted in 68'
DM 15 Monokuma Substituted in 68'
AM 9 Inferno Cop
CM 1 Mugi
SS 10 Cowboy Bebop
CF 60 Colossal Titan
Substitutions:
DM 83 Yamakan Substituted in 68'
CB 4 Johj Substituted in 68'
DM 13 Tomoko Substituted in 68'
Manager:
FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq
Tottori !!sRN5AxsnGLL
2013sc group b-a h.png
GK 10 Sad Panda
RB 18 La Blue Girl
CB 6 Ahegao
CB 5 Slut Girl Substituted in 68'
LB 15 Secret Plot
DM 9 POMF-chan Substituted in 68'
DM 16 Step-sister
DM 47 Angel Blade Substituted in 45'
AM 11 Kneesocks
CF 2 Asuka Langley Soryu
CF 88 Titty Monster
Substitutions:
DM 4 Bible Black Substituted in 45'
CB 17 Ino Yamanaka Substituted in 68'
DM 13 Incest Substituted in 68'
Manager:
bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Man of the Match:
Cowboy Bebop (/a/)

Match Stats
1 (1) Shots (On Target) 10 (4)
3 (0) Fouls (Offside) 1 (1)
1 Free Kicks 3
0 Free Kicks scored 0
1 Corner Kicks 4
16 Interceptions 23
49% Possession 51%
78% Passes Completed 86%
10 Tackles Won 8
4 Saves 0

/tv/ v /po/

Stadium: Benito Villamarin 16 August 2013, 18:30 UTC Attendance: 1184
Tv logo.png /tv/ 0–5 /po/ Po logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Goal 13'25'88' Papercut
Goal 32' Moneygami
Goal 43' Paper Plane



GK 10 High Ground
RB 11 Stannis the Mannis
CB 7 /cel/
CB 22 Zimbabwe
LB 19 L O S T
DM 23 Don Draper
RM 1 Poor Little White Guy
CM 13 Heat Legend
LM 20 Problem Child 2
SS 18 FOR YOU
CF 15 Real Human Being
Substitutions:
None
Manager:
SB !!m94on6l+3S3
2013sc group b-tv po.png
GK 36 Pepakura
RB 10 Fretwork T-Rex
CB 3 Tacky Glue
LB 4 Big Head Mode
DM 5 Broken Printer
RM 8 Moneygami Booked 66'
CM 17 Paper Plane
LM 34 Template
AM 29 Chapsy
CF 28 Papercut
CF 22 Paper Goat
Substitutions:
None
Manager:
Crafty/po/ster !!LbVTjNXXan6
PaperPlane !!g7i5VWxBJeX

Man of the Match:
Papercut (/po/)

Match Stats
8 (3) Shots (On Target) 12 (6)
3 (1) Fouls (Offside) 2 (0)
2 Free Kicks 3
0 Free Kicks scored 0
3 Corner Kicks 3
17 Interceptions 22
49% Possession 51%
80% Passes Completed 79%
10 Tackles Won 9
2 Saves 3

/a/ v /tv/

Stadium: Konami Stadium 18 August 2013, 18:00 UTC Attendance: 1698
A logo.png /a/ 5–0 /tv/ Tv logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Cowboy Bebop Goal 13'44'46'71'
Colossal Titan Goal 90+'



GK 5 Accelerator
RB 2 Anno
CB 3 Kenshiro Substituted off 66'
CM 4 Johj
LB 55 King of Gets
DM 14 Best Girl Thread Substituted off 66'
DM 15 Monokuma Substituted off 66'
AM 9 Inferno Cop
AM 1 Mugi
SS 10 Cowboy Bebop
CF 60 Colossal Titan
Substitutions:
CB 9 Jojo Substituted in 66'
DM 19 Yamakan Substituted in 66'
DM 13 Tomoko Substituted in 66' Booked 83'
Manager:
FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq
Tottori !!sRN5AxsnGLL
2013sc group b-a tv.png
GK 4 Sheeeeeeeet Substituted off 66'
RB 11 Stannis the Mannis
CB 7 /cel/ Booked 46' Substituted off 66'
CM 22 Zimbabwe
LB 19 L O S T
RM 1 Poor Little White Guy
CM 23 Don Draper Substituted off 66'
LM 16 Box Office Flop
AM 20 Problem Child 2
SS 18 FOR YOU
CF 15 Real Human Being
Substitutions:
GK 8 Moffat Substituted in 66'
CM 21 Malick Substituted in 66'
CB 6 Fucken Dropped Substituted in 66'
Manager:
SB !!m94on6l+3S3

Man of the Match:
Cowboy Bebop (/a/)

Match Stats
10 (6) Shots (On Target) 4 (2)
3 (0) Fouls (Offside) 2 (1)
2 Free Kicks 3
1 Free Kicks scored 0
1 Corner Kicks 2
19 Interceptions 20
49% Possession 51%
75% Passes Completed 86%
14 Tackles Won 2
1 Saves 2

/h/ v /po/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium 18 August 2013, 18:30 UTC Attendance: 1621
H logo.png /h/ 0–0 /po/ Po logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png



GK 23 Garterbelt
RB 28 Mezzo Forte
CB 6 Ahegao
CB 17 Ino Yamanaka
LB 50 Fap Gauntlet
DM 11 Kneesocks Booked 31'
RM 1 Endless Ejaculation Substituted off 84'
CM 9 POMF-chan Substituted off 62'
LM 4 Bible Black
SS 88 Titty Monster Booked 71'
CF 2 Asuka Langley Soryu
Substitutions:
CM 47 Angel Blade Substituted in 62'
RM 13 Incest Substituted in 84'
Manager:
bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz
2013sc group b-h po.png
GK 11 Cutting Mat
RB 3 Tacky Glue
CB 10 Fretwork T-Rex
LB 4 Big Head Mode
RM 2 Craftwell
CM 6 Failed Project Booked 63' Substituted off 84'
LM 34 Template
AM 29 Chapsy
AM 17 Paper Plane
CF 28 Papercut
CF 22 Paper Goat
Substitutions:
CM 7 Cubecraft Substituted in 84'
Manager:
Crafty/po/ster !!LbVTjNXXan6
PaperPlane !!g7i5VWxBJeX

Man of the Match:
Paper Plane (/po/)

Match Stats
6 (2) Shots (On Target) 12 (10)
5 (0) Fouls (Offside) 1 (0)
1 Free Kicks 5
0 Free Kicks scored 0
0 Corner Kicks 3
22 Interceptions 20
50% Possession 50%
77% Passes Completed 76%
6 Tackles Won 10
7 Saves 1

/tv/ v /h/

Stadium: Benito Villamarin 24 August 2013, 18:00 UTC Attendance: 1180
Tv logo.png /tv/ 2–3 /h/ H logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
YIFY Goal 29'
Real Human Being Goal 71'
Goal 32'60' Asuka Langley Soryu
Goal 67'Titty Monster



GK 10 High Ground
RB 11 Stannis the Mannis Substituted off 73'
CB 22 Zimbabwe
CB 7 /cel/
LB 19 L O S T Substituted off 63'
DM 23 Don Draper Substituted off 63'
RM 1 Poor Little White Guy Booked 73'
CM 12 Yify
LM 20 Problem Child 2
SS 18 FOR YOU
CF 15 Real Human Being
Substitutions:
DM 5 Plinkett Substituted in 63'
LB 9 Vietnam Fucking Shits Substituted in 63'
RB 17 [REVVING INTENSIFIES] Substituted in 73'
Manager:
SB !!m94on6l+3S3
2013sc group b-tv h.png
GK 23 Garterbelt
RB 18 La Blue Girl Substituted off 73'
CB 25 Christmas Cake
CB 5 Slut Girl
LB 15 Secret Plot Substituted off 60'
CM 16 Step Sister
DM 9 POMF-chan
LM 11 Kneesocks
AM 4 Bible Black
SS 88 Titty Monster
CF 2 Asuka Langley Soryu
Substitutions:
LB 50 Fap Gauntlet Substituted in 60'
RB 3 Umemaro 3D Substituted in 73'
Manager:
bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Man of the Match:
Asuka Langley Soryu (/h/)

Match Stats
6 (4) Shots (On Target) 9 (4)
2 (0) Fouls (Offside) 3 (0)
3 Free Kicks 2
0 Free Kicks scored 1
1 Corner Kicks 4
17 Interceptions 13
50% Possession 50%
86% Passes Completed 82%
12 Tackles Won 12
4 Saves 3

/po/ v /a/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium 24 August 2013, 18:30 UTC Attendance: 1273
Po logo.png /po/ 0–5 /a/ A logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Goal 30' Mugi
Goal 35'90+' Colossal Titan
Goal 43' Inferno Cop
Goal 71' Cowboy Bebop



GK 36 Pepakura
RB 26 Automata
CB 4 Big Head Mode
LB 15 Pop Up
RM 37 Graphig Substituted off 71'
DM 18 Sketch Up
LM 9 PDO Substituted off 71'
AM 29 Chapsy
AM 17 Paper Plane
CF 28 Papercut
CF 22 Paper Goat
Substitutions:
RM 8 Moneygami Substituted in 71'
LM 34 Template Substituted in 71'
Manager:
Crafty/po/ster !!LbVTjNXXan6
PaperPlane !!g7i5VWxBJeX
2013sc group b-po a.png
GK 8 8man
RB 11 Eru Erufu Substituted off 62'
CB 19 Jojo
CB 16 Horahorahora Substituted off 71'
LB 55 King of Gets
DM 15 Monokuma
RM 14 Best Girl Thread Substituted off 71'
LM 1 Mugi
AM 9 Inferno Cop
SS 10 Cowboy Bebop
CF 60 Colossal Titan
Substitutions:
RB 2 Anno Substituted in 62'
CB 4 Johj Substituted in 71'
RM 13 Tomoko Substituted in 71'
Manager:
FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq
Tottori !!sRN5AxsnGLL

Man of the Match:
Colossal Titan (/a/)

Match Stats
4 (1) Shots (On Target) 11 (8)
3 (0) Fouls (Offside) 1 (1)
1 Free Kicks 3
0 Free Kicks scored 0
1 Corner Kicks 2
21 Interceptions 17
53% Possession 47%
84% Passes Completed 76%
6 Tackles Won 12
3 Saves 1