2013 4chan Summer Cup Group F

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Summary

Matchday 1

Bob Sapp and Haigure found themselves sapped by cancer as they walked onto the field Blue and Purple in this game of /d/eviants versus /b/-tards. Fuelled by mafia intimidation, /b/ blew /d/ out of the game with impressive saves by Fuckin' Saved and nice goals by fan favorite Triforce and newfag James Holmes. The trolling was strong with /b/ this game, but the Sappening would hopefully return when /d/ next takes the field.

/lit/'s bad luck began off the field when DrBorisG lost their new uniforms, and stuck with them for all 90 minutes of their game as every one of their many shots found a way to bounce away from /v/'s goal. In a record-tying 7-0 victory, /v/ quickly blew out the latest team to leave the Babbies with a commanding 4 goal lead at the end of the first half. Cries of >Stop! Stop! They're already dead! went unregarded as Gaben secured a miraculous hat trick and SANIC's ear-raping goalhorn played not once but twice. One could only hope that the magic of the Babbies returns to /lit/ before their next game.

Matchday 2

Thrilling, tense, and nail-biting, this match was the second surprise upset of the day. Bob Sapp's streak of poor conditioning continued, but fellow forwards Haigure, Dmitrys, and No Western picked up the slack to bounce three goals off the back of /v/'s net. While /d/ forced itself into /v/'s goal despite the protestations of Trip, Gaben found his team of elite forwards completely shut down by /d/'s defence, and all half-decent attempts on the goal were broken by replacement /d/ goalie Ballbusting. With this victory, /d/ remained in contention and tied with /v/ for points in the group, though /v/'s 7-0 blowout of /lit/ still gave them the edge in goal difference. It would all come down to Sunday.

Competing with /tv/ for absolute worst record in the Summer Cup, /lit/ lost horribly to /b/, with their weak defense constantly outplayed by /b/ forward Triforce. At least this time, /lit/ managed to secure a single goal from sole striker Lolita Wanted It. /lit/'s flat-out weird strategies and formation do not seem to be working their magic, and all of San Marino's attempts at rigging just made less and less sense as the match went on.

Matchday 3

An early goal by Gaben kept /v/ alive through the trolling of /b/ in an otherwise scoreless but exciting game. Barely squeaking by the most cancerous team of the group, /v/ was still at risk of losing their place in the Summer Cup to /d/'s team of sexual deviants.

With San Marino finally deciding to take the cup seriously, /lit/ dragged the /d/eviants down to their level with a 1-1 draw. Rather than playing a nonsense formation with silly sliders, serious /lit/ ended their first major cup with a spoiler draw against fan favorite /d/. A Purple Bob Sapp scored a single goal for /d/ in the first half of the game, raising hopes that DA BEAST would overcome his baffling streak of poor conditions and lead /d/ to victory in it's most important game yet. However it was not too be, and /d/ was relegated to Autumn with /lit/, while the cancer teams of /v/ and /b/ were allowed through.

Standings

Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
V icon.png /v/ 3 2 0 1 8 3 5 6
B icon.png /b/ 3 2 0 1 6 2 4 6
D icon.png /d/ 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 4
Lit icon.png /lit/ 3 0 1 2 2 12 -10 1


/d/ v /b/

Stadium: Konami Stadium 17 August 2013, 18:00 UTC Attendance: 1383
D logo.png /d/ 0–2 /b/ B logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Goal 60' Triforce
Goal 80' James Holmes



GK 22 Succubus
RB 8 Shitting Dick Nipples Substituted off 75'
CB 23 Potato House Substituted off 75'
CB 2 BDSM General
LB 19 Faye Artemis
DM 16 Monster Girl Quest
CM 3 Haigure
CM 34 Jetporn Substituted off 75'
RW 43 No Western
CF 72 Bob Sapp
LW 25 Dmitrys
Substitutions:
CB 4 /d/-sized Cock Substituted in 75'
RB 48 Futaspammer Substituted in 75'
CM 5 Vore Substituted in 75'
Manager:
Chance !!cpmMD0AhXMb
2013sc group f-d b.png
GK 16 Fuckin' Saved
RB 15 2edgy4me Substituted off 68'
CB 14 Chris Hansen
CB 2 Ruse
LB 4 Candlejack
DM 25 Trolled To Death
CM 17 Moses Garza Booked 43'
RM 21 TYFTT Substituted off 65'
AM 13 James Holmes
LM 9 Leejun Substituted off 66'
CF 19 Triforce
Substitutions:
RM 7 Vile Website Substituted in 65'
LM 6 TYFTA Substituted in 66'
RB 5 60s Spiderman Substituted in 68'
Manager:
Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ

Man of the Match:
Triforce (/b/)

Match Stats
6 (3) Shots (On Target) 9 (5)
2 (0) Fouls (Offside) 4 (1)
4 Free Kicks 2
0 Free Kicks scored 0
3 Corner Kicks 3
12 Interceptions 23
42% Possession 58%
75% Passes Completed 89%
13 Tackles Won 8
2 Saves 3

/v/ v /lit/

Stadium: Stade Louis II 17 August 2013, 18:30 UTC Attendance: 1680
V logo.png /v/ 7–0 /lit/ Lit logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Reggie Goal 6'77'
Gabe Newell Goal 19'23'60'
SANIC Goal 29'82'



GK 20 Trip
RB 1 No Fun Allowed
CB 4 Captain Falcon
CB 0 Protoman
LB 2 Rage
LM 64 Phoenix Wright Booked 42' Substituted off 57'
RW 11 Console Peasant Substituted off 57'
AM 7 Sanic
AM 10 Reggie Fils-Aime
LW 8 PC Master Race Substituted off 64'
CF 3 Gabe Newell
Substitutions:
LM 59 NO GAEMS Substituted in 57'
RW 39 Hideo Kojima Substituted in 57'
LW 12 Adam Jensen Substituted in 64'
Manager:
Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA
2013sc group f-v lit.png
GK 1 Queer Theory
RB 2 Itchy Kant Substituted off 57'
CB 7 >this plebeian
CB 11 Huge Orson Welles
LB 3 Told You About States
DM 6 Nobby Hegel Substituted off 57'
DM 69 MC Homerotic
RW 13 Lolita Wanted It
AM 19 Ayn Rand
LW 4 Mouldy Dique Substituted off 69'
CF 18 DFW
Substitutions:
RB 22 Tao Lin Substituted in 57' Booked 63'
DM 14 Deep&Edgy Substituted in 57' Booked 82'
LW 17 No Talent Substituted in 69'
Manager:
SanMarino !!K7UPgnq6Ao2

Man of the Match:
Gabe Newell (/v/)

Match Stats
10 (7) Shots (On Target) 10 (3)
3 (0) Fouls (Offside) 3 (1)
3 Free Kicks 3
0 Free Kicks scored 0
3 Corner Kicks 4
20 Interceptions 12
54% Possession 46%
87% Passes Completed 82%
9 Tackles Won 9
3 Saves 0

/d/ v /v/

Stadium: Benito Villamarin 23 August 2013, 18:00 UTC Attendance: 1384
D logo.png /d/ 3–0 /v/ V logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Dmitrys Goal 24'74'
Haigure Goal 45+'



GK 1 Ballbusting
RB 48 Futaspammer
CB 24 Break-a-bitch
CB 2 BDSM General
LM 6 HSITMPBAMCWTPOP Substituted off 74'
DM 26 Ganguro Substituted off 74'
DM 34 Jetporn Booked 34' Substituted off 74'
AM 3 Haigure
RW 25 Dmitrys
CF 72 Bob Sapp
LW 43 No Western
Substitutions:
LM 19 Faye Artemis Substituted in 74'
DM 69 Fenoxo Substituted in 74'
DM 16 Monster Girl Quest Substituted in 74'
Manager:
Chance !!cpmMD0AhXMb
2013sc group f-d v.png
GK 20 Trip
RB 99 Mr. Bones
CB 89 Villager Substituted off 90+'
CB 0 Protoman
LB 2 Rage
RM 39 Hideo Kojima
DM 64 Phoenix Wright Substituted off 67'
LM 8 PC Master Race Substituted off 74'
AM 7 Sanic
AM 10 Reggie Fils-Aime
CF 3 Gabe Newell
Substitutions:
DM 59 No Gaems Substituted in 67'
LM 12 Adam Jensen Substituted in 74'
CB 4 Captain Falcon Substituted in 90+'
Manager:
Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA

Man of the Match:
Dmitrys (/d/)

Match Stats
11 (8) Shots (On Target) 6 (3)
1 (0) Fouls (Offside) 1 (0)
1 Free Kicks 1
0 Free Kicks scored 0
1 Corner Kicks 4
19 Interceptions 14
51% Possession 49%
82% Passes Completed 83%
11 Tackles Won 8
4 Saves 4

/b/ v /lit/

Stadium: Stade Louis II 23 August 2013, 18:30 UTC Attendance: 1451
B logo.png /b/ 4–1 /lit/ Lit logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Triforce Goal 12'21'62'72' Goal 68' Lolita Wanted It



GK 20 Nyancat
RB 7 Vile Website
CB 14 Chris Hansenn
CB 2 Ruse
LB 4 Candlejack Booked 83'
DM 25 Trolled To Death
RM 21 TYFTT Substituted off 68'
AM 17 Moses Garza
LM 9 Leejun Substituted off 72'
SS 13 James Holmes
CF 19 Triforce Substituted off 79'
Substitutions:
RM 5 60s Spiderman Substituted in 68'
LM 6 TYFTA Substituted in 72'
CF 23 >>>/b/ Substituted in 79'
Manager:
Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
2013sc group f-b lit.png
GK 9 Muh Spooks
SW 5 Heraclitus
RB 2 Itchy Kant Substituted off 72'
CB 8 A.M. Pinecone
LB 23 The Woolf Substituted off 72'
DM 69 MC Homerotic
DM 6 Nobby Hegel
CM 19 Ayn Rand Substituted off 72'
AM 13 Lolita Wanted It Booked 60'
AM 4 Mouldy Dique
CF 18 DFW
Substitutions:
CM 14 Deep&Edgy Substituted in 72'
RB 20 Future Penguin Classic Substituted in 72'
LB 15 Arse Full of Farts Substituted in 72'
Manager:
SanMarino !!K7UPgnq6Ao2

Man of the Match:
Triforce (/b/)

Match Stats
10 (8) Shots (On Target) 9 (3)
4 (1) Fouls (Offside) 3 (0)
3 Free Kicks 4
0 Free Kicks scored 0
3 Corner Kicks 4
22 Interceptions 21
53% Possession 47%
78% Passes Completed 81%
14 Tackles Won 7
3 Saves 2

/v/ v /b/

Stadium: Konami Stadium 25 August 2013, 18:00 UTC Attendance: 1658
V logo.png /v/ 1–0 /b/ B logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Gabe Newell Goal 6'



GK 20 Trip
SW 89 Villager
RB 1 No Fun Allowed
CB 0 Protoman
LB 2 Rage
RM 18 Donte Substituted off 71'
CM 59 NO GAEMS Substituted off 71'
LM 8 PC Master Race Substituted off 71'
RW 7 Sanic
LW 10 Reggie Fils-Aime
CF 3 Gabe Newell
Substitutions:
LM 23 Dewrito Pope Substituted in 71'
CM 64 Phoenix Wright Substituted in 71'
RM 83 bkub Chen Substituted in 71'
Manager:
Exec !!s4zagtDZGcA
2013sc group f-v b.png
GK 1 Pool's Closed
RB 15 2edgy4me Booked 9' Substituted off 74'
CB 18 Ass Thread
CB 2 Ruse
LB 3 Skullfuck
DM 25 Trolled To Death
RM 5 60s Spiderman
CM 17 Moses Garza
LM 9 Leejun Substituted off 71'
SS 13 James Holmes
CF 19 Triforce
Substitutions:
LM 6 TYFTA Substituted in 71'
RB 7 Vile Website Substituted in 74'
Manager:
Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ

Man of the Match:
Reggie Fils-Aime (/v/)

Match Stats
4 (2) Shots (On Target) 5 (2)
0 (0) Fouls (Offside) 1 (0)
1 Free Kicks 0
0 Free Kicks scored 0
1 Corner Kicks 2
19 Interceptions 21
47% Possession 53%
77% Passes Completed 81%
11 Tackles Won 10
0 Saves 2

/lit/ v /d/

Stadium: Stade Louis II 25 August 2013, 18:30 UTC Attendance: 1581
Lit logo.png /lit/ 1–1 /d/ D logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Lolita Wanted It Goal 58' Goal 27' Bob Sapp



GK 1 Queer Theory
RB 20 Future Penguin Classic
CB 11 Huge Orson Welles
CB 5 Heraclitus
LB 15 Arse Full of Farts Substituted off 70'
DM 21 Exit Level Substituted off 70'
DM 69 MC Homerotic
AM 19 Ayn Rand Substituted off 70'
AM 4 Mouldy Dique
CF 13 Lolita Wanted It
CF 18 DFW
Substitutions:
AM 17 No Talent Substituted in 70'
LB 23 The Woolf Substituted in 70'
DM 16 Entry Level Substituted in 70'
Manager:
SanMarino !!K7UPgnq6Ao2
2013sc group f-lit d.png
GK 11 Consentacles
RB 20 Shitting Dick Nipples Substituted off 70'
CB 24 XXXX Corruptions
CB 9 BDSM General
LB 21 HSITMPBAMCWTPOP Substituted off 70'
CM 18 Ganguro
CM 5 Jetporn Booked 2' Substituted off 70'
AM 13 Haigure
RW 39 Dmitrys
CF 11 Bob Sapp
LW 34 No Western
Substitutions:
RB 48 Futaspammer Substituted in 70'
LB 19 Faye Artemis Substituted in 70'
CM 69 Fenoxo Substituted in 70'
Manager:
Chance !!cpmMD0AhXMb

Man of the Match:
Haigure (/d/)

Match Stats
8 (5) Shots (On Target) 6 (5)
4 (0) Fouls (Offside) 1 (0)
1 Free Kicks 4
0 Free Kicks scored 0
4 Corner Kicks 3
23 Interceptions 19
47% Possession 53%
80% Passes Completed 77%
8 Tackles Won 9
5 Saves 4