2014 4chan Winter Cup Group A

Summary

Matchday 1

/cgl/ pressured /a/'s strikers out of an expected win, with a mob-all defense and a 7.0 MotM goalkeeper in the form of Mr. Yan. /a/'s players, led by team striker Bert Is A Titan would end up spaghetti-ing away the few chances they did have despite superior conditioning. Both teams walked away with one point in the group stage, reaffirming the strangely upsetting strength of Seagulls and leaving /a/ at a disadvantage in the group.

/cm/ started with a sneaky little goal by everyone's favorite angel Nagisa, but the 5-inch Dick of /adv/ bent /cm/'s underperformer of the match Dio and gave him a good bad touching. Despite having all the power, Dio found himself unable to kick with any accuracy or penetrate /adv/'s defense, leading to /adv/ topping Group A and setting up /a/ to fall in Sunday's match.

Matchday 2

With /adv/'s manager absent and with no instructions left behind, this was /a/'s game to lose. An early game goal by oft-underestimated Bert and a ton of /a/ shots set the tone for the rest of this match against a headless /adv/. Bebop secured a 2-0 lead at the end of the first half. Yet, somehow, the RNG gods smiled on /adv/ and allowed them to score twice on a sleepy Database (/a/ GK). But Bert Is A Titan, still smarting from the cup's stinging review of his performance last Friday, redeemed himself in the eyes of /a/ by making a Hat Trick and securing /a/'s overwhelming victory over /adv/, thereby confirming Germanbro's pre-game scoreline prediction. With this victory, /a/ moves to the top of Group A, but remains in danger of relegation should they fail to pull together against /cm/ next week. Will Colossal Titan Bert manage to redeem himself again? Or will /a/ need to rely on the sweet, sweet tunes of Cowboy Bebop to defeat titan-slaying manlet Levi?

/cm/ began with amazing conditions, while /cgl/ remained tired and exhausted from Friday's game with /a/. But conditions did not translate into performance on the field, as /cgl/ held /cm/ off for a 2-2 draw thanks to fuck-ups by Dio and good goalie play by /cgl/ GK Mr. Yan. /cgl/'s Jealous Fatty scored an early first goal of the game with the support of fellow striker Dramu, seemingly setting the tone for a match dominated by /cgl/. However, Dio Brando used the powers of his Stand to finally deliver a ferociously powerful, on-target kick to tie up the game midway through the first half, and Levi proved himself to be /cm/'s strongest manlet when he literally walked a goal over the back of /cgl/'s GK. These goals, however, were bright spots in otherwise mediocre performance by /cm/, who found themselves struggling for the ball more often than not. Finally, a last-minute offensive in injury time saw Jealous Fatty score off a rebound from /cm/ GK Munemasa, tying the game. WIth this draw, the hopes of both teams remain alive.

Matchday 3

Going into the first game of regulation day, /adv/ seemed like the favorite to advance. On top of being in the second-place of the group, it also opened the match with a mass of condition advantages over /cgl/, who were playing with blue and green forwards and opting for an unusual formation of out-of-place players. Oh, how wrong we were. It's just a damn shame that SEAGULLS did not ring out over /cgl/'s wondrous, miraculous rape of /adv/.

A first-minute goal by /adv/'s 5-Inch Dick and strong conditioning were just red herrings as /cgl/ broke through /adv/'s defense four times before the end of the half. Forward Gold winger JNig, trying to prove that his position was actualy decent after the mess that /m/ made of it, scored a hat trick thanks to a thruball passed to him by /cgl/'s star forward Dramu, who himself scored a third goal for /cgl/ before the game had hit 30 minutes. Despite /adv/'s quick counter of /cgl/'s goals, the first half ended 4-2 in /cgl/'s favor, and got everyone hyped for a shotfest of a match. An MIA /adv/ manager proved to be /adv/'s downfall, as /adv/ was unable to change strategies to address /cgl/'s unstoppable offense. At 62', Dramu got his own hat trick, prompting commissioner Dr. BorisG to ask them to >stop, stop, he's already dead! But it was a vain plea; /adv/ proved they were still alive, thanks to s/adv/irgin countering and scoring a goal off /cgl/'s Red GK Maguma's Shirt. Thus taunted, Dramu would be forced to throw one final kick at the badly-wounded walking corpse of /adv/, earning a double brace and ending the game 7-3.

10 goals, 21 shots, 6 saves. Thanks to the massive GD earned from this game, /cgl/ managed to top Group A and would then go on to face /f/ in the knockouts this coming Saturday. Get hyped!

With /a/ now sitting second in the group, there remained a chance that /cm/ could pull /a/ down from heaven and make all wrong with the world. A mere two goals could see /cm/ spoil the dreams of one of the oldest and most popular teams in the cup, but it was not to be. Perhaps our opening game stole all the goals from PES, just as all the shins were stolen the day before. Regardless, player spaghetti and spectacular /a/ chokes saw the first half end 0-0 and force /cm/ into going all out against /a/'s defense, which proved wanting when Tachibana scored off a rare misplay by most powerful GK in the cup Onepunch-Man at 60'. Continued choking by Bert is a Titan and Yamakan finally ended at 73', when Bert managed to best /cm/'s defense to tie the game. Despite intensive play by both teams, the game ended in a 1-1 draw as the RNG gods decided they would (not) allow any goals to be made. /a/ goes up against their /a/sp/ie Cup rivals next Saturday in a match sure to be hype.

Table

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
/cgl/	3	1	2	0	10	6	4	5
/a/	3	1	2	0	6	4	2	5
/adv/	3	1	0	2	7	12	-5	3
/cm/	3	0	2	1	4	5	-1	2

/a/ v /cgl/

Stadium: Konami Stadium

14 February 2014, 17:00 UTC

Attendance: 638

/a/ 1–1 /cgl/

Cowboy Bebop  6'		42' Dramu
	Assists
Tomoko  6'		42' Yaya's Tatas

Kit: Database Boku no Pico Jojo  57' Kaiki Best Girl King of Gets Inferno Cop Tomoko  57' Teh Rei  75' Mugi Cowboy Bebop Bert Is A Titan Substitutions: >rotoscoping  57' Yamakan  57' Kamina  75' Manager: FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq

Kit: Mr. Yan Derpy-chan Heroes of Cosplay Circlejerk Get A Goddamn Wig Jealous Fatty Tunamelt-chan Ita J Nig Dramu Yaya's Tatas Manager: Fang !!rFoWXKYr2uG

Man of the Match: Mr. Yan (/cgl/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 46 54 Shots (on target) 10 5 (6) (2) Fouls (offside) 1 1 (1) (1) Corner Kicks 3 1 Free Kicks 1 1 Passes completed (%) 76 79 Crosses 6 3 Interceptions 5 12 Tackles 5 3 Saves 1 6

/adv/ v /cm/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz

14 February 2014, 17:00 UTC

Attendance: 724

/adv/ 2–1 /cm/

Cheating GF  38' 5 Inch Dick  45+1'		20' Nagisa
	Assists
Friendzoned  38' S/adv/irgin  45+1'		20' Elric

Kit: Good Guy Greg Moralfag Bitches & Whores Brojobs  67' Assburgers  67' Relationshit  67' Cheating GF Suicide Friendzoned S/adv/irgin 5 Inch Dick Substitutions: wat do  67' Shut In  67' First World Problems  67' Manager: Clrs !!V44yYJo0I/a

Kit: Ibuki Munemasa Raidou Kuzunoha  45' Takashi Natsume Hidekaz Haru Tieria Erde Makoto Tachibana Edward Elric Levi Dio Brando Kaworu Nagisa Substitutions: Ryoma Echizen  45' Manager: Freeman !!PZM1vR8exXS

Man of the Match: 5 Inch Dick (/adv/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 42 58 Shots (on target) 4 7 (4) (4) Fouls (offside) 0 1 (0) (0) Corner Kicks 1 1 Free Kicks 1 0 Passes completed (%) 75 88 Crosses 4 2 Interceptions 6 8 Tackles 9 7 Saves 3 1

Note: /cm/'s kits did not work, so they were forced to use a Fluminense kit.

/a/ v /adv/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium

16 February 2014, 17:00 UTC

Attendance: 759

/a/ 4–2 /adv/

Bert Is a Titan  16', 78', 90+2' Cowboy Bebop  45+2'		60', 84' 5 Inch Dick
	Assists
Cowboy Bebop  16' Mugi  45+2' Meguca  90+2'		60' Cheating GF

Kit: Database Anno Jojo Tada Banri  67' King of Gets  80' Teh Rei Tomoko  60' Mugi Inferno Cop Cowboy Bebop Bert is a Titan Substitutions: Yamakan  60' Kenshiro  67' Meguca  80' Manager: FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq

Kit: Good Guy Greg Moralfag Bitches & Whores Brojobs Assburgers Relationshit Cheating GF Suicide Friendzoned S/adv/irgin 5 Inch Dick Manager: Clrs !!V44yYJo0I/a

Man of the Match: Bert is a Titan (/a/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 52 48 Shots (on target) 6 3 (6) (2) Fouls (offside) 0 2 (0) (1) Corner Kicks 1 0 Free Kicks 2 0 Passes completed (%) 85 82 Crosses 3 6 Interceptions 9 8 Tackles 5 6 Saves 0 2

/cgl/ v /cm/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz

16 February 2014, 17:40 UTC

Attendance: 805

/cgl/ 2–2 /cm/

Jealous Fatty  9', 90+3'		36' Dio  69' Levi
	Assists
Dramu  9'

Kit: Mr. Yan Heroes of Cosplay Circlejerk Coscom Gutterbitch J Nig Yaya's Tatas Derpy-chan Jealous Fatty Dramu Vendetta Manager: Fang !!rFoWXKYr2uG

Kit: Ibuki Munemasa Raidou Kuzunoha Oyaji Moe~ Takashi Natsume  71' Masato Hijirikawa Tetsuya Kuroko  71' Makoto Tachibana Levi Edward Elric  71' Dio Brando Kaworu Nagisa Substitutions: Griffith  71' Killua Zoldyck  71' Hidekaz  71' Manager: Freeman !!PZM1vR8exXS

Man of the Match: Levi (/cm/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 51 49 Shots (on target) 6 10 (4) (10) Fouls (offside) 3 4 (3) (1) Corner Kicks 0 3 Free Kicks 4 3 Passes completed (%) 76 79 Crosses 0 6 Interceptions 6 14 Tackles 5 5 Saves 5 2

Note: /cm/'s kits did not work, so they were forced to use a Fluminense kit.

/adv/ v /cgl/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz

22 February 2014, 17:00 UTC

Attendance: 564

/adv/ 3–7 /cgl/

5 Inch Dick  2' S/adv/irgin  25', 72'		9', 13', 31' J Nig  23', 48', 63', 84' Dramu
	Assists
S/adv/irgin  2' Friendzoned  25' 5 Inch Dick  72'		9' Not A Fetish  13' Yaya's Tatas  31' Dramu  63' GETAGODDAMNWIG

Kit: Good Guy Greg Brojobs Pick Up Artist  63' Shut In First World Problems  63' Relationshit  63' Cheating GF pls respond Friendzoned S/adv/irgin 5 Inch Dick Substitutions: Assburgers  63' wat do  63' Bitches & Whores  63' Manager: Clrs !!V44yYJo0I/a

Kit: Maguma's Shirt Derpy-chan Heroes of Cosplay Not A Fetish Get A Goddamn Wig Jealous Fatty Ita Tunamelt-chan J Nig Dramu Yaya's Tatas Manager: Fang !!rFoWXKYr2uG

Man of the Match: Dramu (/cgl/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 48 52 Shots (on target) 7 14 (5) (9) Fouls (offside) 3 1 (1) (0) Corner Kicks 2 2 Free Kicks 1 3 Passes completed (%) 76 86 Crosses 8 5 Interceptions 6 10 Tackles 3 1 Saves 4 2

/cm/ v /a/

Stadium: Konami Stadium

22 February 2014, 17:30 UTC

Attendance: 867

/cm/ 1–1 /a/

Tachibana  61'		74' Bert Is a Titan
	Assists
		74' Cowboy Bebop

Kit: Gilgamesh Hidekaz Hijirikawa Oyaji Moe~ Hitoshi-san Blitzkrieg Makoto Tachibana Levi Edward Elric  68' Dio Brando Kaworu Nagisa Substitutions: Shuu Iwamine  68' Manager: Freeman !!PZM1vR8exXS

Kit: Onepunch-Man Boku no Pico  78' Jojo  68' >rotoscoping  68' Meguca Renge-chon Inferno Cop Yamakan Mugi Bert is a Titan Cowboy Bebop Substitutions: Tada Banri  68' Kaiki Best Girl  68' Anno  78' Manager: FiroBrochainezo !!uRlVQO2Akkq

Man of the Match: Bert is a Titan (/a/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 52 48 Shots (on target) 6 12 (3) (6) Fouls (offside) 2 4 (1) (2) Corner Kicks 1 4 Free Kicks 4 2 Passes completed (%) 78 69 Crosses 2 5 Interceptions 8 10 Tackles 2 3 Saves 4 3

Note: /cm/'s kits did not work, so they were forced to use a Fluminense kit.