Summary
Matchday 1
Amid discussions of how old and busted many of /b/'s teammates were [spoiler]looking at you James Holmes[/spoiler], /hr/ managed to secure a 1-0 lead in the first half and break through /b/'s defense several times for good shots. /hr/ held on to their 1-0 lead through the entire match, and even going FULL TWENTIES could not give /b/ an equalizing point. Thank god we didn't have to hear that anthem again.
Once upon a time, /soc/ was feared. But with an absent manager and shit conditions on the bench, they were unable to defeat the uncaring /an/imals of /an/. Canadian Goose and Honey Badger led the way for /an/ to run right past the /soc/ defense, though they found their offensive stopped at almost all turns by /soc/ GK Permalurker. Still, /an/ secured an early goal via What Is This? that secured their victory over the autistic sex addicts of /soc/. We pray that they can beat /b/ next weak and prevent us from hearing their anthem in the Round of 16.
Matchday 2
Just as Rayman player models seemed to be a favorable sign for /v/, it seemed that /soc/'s captain FEET would find himself strengthened by the stealing of the shins. Unfortunately, conditions overwhelmingly favored /b/, and they told over the course of the game. An immediate 5' goal by FEET turned the momentum over to /soc/, and a heavily marked James Holmes was stopped by the /soc/ defense. However, Triforce and Moses Garza would put the game away for /b/ with a late goal in the first half and another in the middle of the second as /b/ began to play more aggressively. Despite some good pushes by /soc/ they were unable to seal the deal and score, and the ear-raping anthem of /b/ played out over the stadium once more. /soc/ now sits at the bottom of the group in need of a miracle 9-3-3-3 in order to have a chance of surviving.
Another game with lots of poor conditions, with much of /hr/'s backline and /an/'s star forwards in Blue and Purple. A spirited offensive effort by /hr/ was stomped by the rampaging animals of /an/. Despite taking a 1-0 lead in the first quarter of the game, /hr/ found its lead stolen by Canadian Goose, and star forwards Spacebat and Honey Badger (Purple and Blue) sealed /hr/'s fate. /hr/'s defeat left the possibility of /soc/ advancing alive, and /an/ would top the group.
Matchday 3
/soc/ seeks a two-point victory over /hr/ in order to advance or at least cripple /hr/'s chances to advance. A well-positioned FEET put in three goals in the space of 7 minutes against /hr/'s GK Celeb Threads, taking the record for fastest hat trick ever, almost sealing /hr/'s fate after a series of poor games. Mid-game changes by /hr/ allowed Emma Watson to score and threaten /soc/'s advance, but FUCKING SPAGHETTI by /hr/'s defensive mob allowed FEET to earn a double brace and putting /soc/ far ahead of /hr/. Despite Taylor Swift scoring another goal for /hr/, /soc/ would deny them the chance to drag them down with them. Thus, at the very last moment, /soc/ survives and keeps their chances of advancing alive despite losing every other game in the group. Their fate in the hands of /b/, they would advance with /b/'s defeat and will face the well-traveled players of /trv/ in the Round of 16.
A bungling offense by /an/ and a James Holmes who could not hit a man in a dark theater saw this game sit at 0-0 for most of the match. Take It To The Vet must've taken some steroids from his clinic, as he saved /an/ and our ears from /b/'s offensive volleys. But Fucken Saved could not save /b/ in the end, as Canadian Goose finally got loose and blasted a ball into the goal with 5 minutes remaining in the match. /an/ will face /wg/ in the first round of the knockouts, and /soc/ makes a great escape to advance to the knockouts and face the arguably stronger /trv/.
Table
Team
|
Pld
|
W
|
D
|
L
|
GF
|
GA
|
GD
|
Pts
|
/an/ |
3 |
3 |
0 |
0 |
5 |
1 |
4 |
9
|
/soc/ |
3 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
5 |
5 |
0 |
3
|
/b/ |
3 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
2 |
3 |
-1 |
3
|
/hr/ |
3 |
1 |
0 |
2 |
4 |
7 |
-3 |
3
|
/b/ v /hr/
Stadium: Stade de France
|
15 February 2014, 21:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 679
|
|
|
12' Haunted Areum
|
|
Assists
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Pools Closed |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Rule 34 |
|
|
|
 |
 |
TYFTT |
|
|
|
 |
 |
2edgy4me |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Jimmy Rustler |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Trolled 2 Death |
74' |
|
|
 |
 |
60s Spiderman |
12' |
|
|
 |
 |
Moses Garza |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Giga Puddi |
|
|
|
 |
 |
James Holmes |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Triforce |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
OVER 9000 |
12' |
|
|
 |
 |
Bread |
74' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Celeb Threads |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Movie Posters |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Mila Kunis |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Astronomy |
74' |
|
|
 |
 |
Bully My Dick |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Haunted Areum |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Nugu |
74' |
|
|
 |
 |
Emma Stone |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Lord Taengoo |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Emma Watson |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Taylor Swift |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Wikifeet |
74' |
|
|
 |
 |
User Was Warned |
74' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Yutz !!fHFnmFa1CPT
|
|
Man of the Match:
Haunted Areum (/hr/)
|
Match Stats
|
Possession (%)
|
56
|
|
44
|
Shots (on target)
|
5
|
|
5
|
(5)
|
|
(5)
|
Fouls (offside)
|
0
|
|
1
|
(0)
|
|
(0)
|
Corner Kicks
|
0
|
|
1
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
|
0
|
Passes completed (%)
|
82
|
|
84
|
Crosses
|
3
|
|
3
|
Interceptions
|
7
|
|
9
|
Tackles
|
1
|
|
1
|
Saves
|
4
|
|
4
|
|
/soc/ v /an/
Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
15 February 2014, 21:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 601
|
|
|
34' What Is This?
|
|
Assists
|
|
|
|
34' Spacebat
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Permalurker |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Time Line |
69' |
|
|
 |
 |
Rate My Cock |
69' |
|
|
 |
 |
Milkshakes with 3 dudes |
|
|
|
 |
 |
slug.jpg |
|
|
|
 |
 |
/sma/utism |
69' |
|
|
 |
 |
Roll Thread |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Crush |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Vocaroo |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Haunter |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Feet |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Frosting |
69' |
|
|
 |
 |
Contactfag |
69' |
|
|
 |
 |
Kickr |
69' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Take it to the Vet |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Cat Person |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Superior Porcupine |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Brown Recluse |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Leopard Gecko |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Walrus Overlord |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Canadian Goose |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Sun Bear |
81' |
|
|
 |
 |
What Is This? |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Spacebat |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Honeybadger |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Invasive Species |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Ecofemenism |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Sexy Shrimp |
81' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Rehmix
|
|
Man of the Match:
Honeybadger (/an/)
|
Match Stats
|
Possession (%)
|
52
|
|
48
|
Shots (on target)
|
4
|
|
5
|
(1)
|
|
(4)
|
Fouls (offside)
|
2
|
|
1
|
(1)
|
|
(0)
|
Corner Kicks
|
0
|
|
2
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
|
2
|
Passes completed (%)
|
85
|
|
70
|
Crosses
|
1
|
|
4
|
Interceptions
|
11
|
|
7
|
Tackles
|
2
|
|
3
|
Saves
|
2
|
|
1
|
|
/b/ v /soc/
Stadium: Stamford Bridge
|
21 February 2014, 21:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 546
|
Triforce 41' Moses Garza 73'
|
|
6' Feet
|
|
Assists
|
|
|
|
6' Kickr
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Nyancat |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Rule 34 |
|
|
|
 |
 |
TYFTT |
|
|
|
 |
 |
2edgy4me |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Jimmy Rustler |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Trolled 2 Death |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Berry My Dick |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Giga Puddi |
|
|
|
 |
 |
I Told You Dog |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Triforce |
|
|
|
 |
 |
James Holmes |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Moses Garza |
73' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Permalurker |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Contactfag |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Milkshakes with 3 dudes |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Rate My Cock |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Tumblr |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Kickr |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Use The Fucking Catalog |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Vocaroo |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Crush |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Feet |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Haunter |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
slug.jpg |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Heaven |
73' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv
|
|
Man of the Match:
Triforce (/b/)
|
Match Stats
|
Possession (%)
|
46
|
|
54
|
Shots (on target)
|
10
|
|
6
|
(9)
|
|
(4)
|
Fouls (offside)
|
2
|
|
1
|
(1)
|
|
(0)
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
|
1
|
Free Kicks
|
1
|
|
2
|
Passes completed (%)
|
80
|
|
82
|
Crosses
|
2
|
|
2
|
Interceptions
|
9
|
|
7
|
Tackles
|
4
|
|
2
|
Saves
|
2
|
|
5
|
|
/hr/ v /an/
Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
21 February 2014, 21:40 UTC
|
Attendance: 499
|
Emma Watson 27'
|
|
43' Canadian Goose
54' Spacebat
80' Honeybadger
|
|
Assists
|
|
Taylor Swift 27'
|
|
43' Honeybadger
80' Canadian Goose
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Celeb Threads |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Movie Posters |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Astronomy |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Celeb Fakes |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Vagina Closeups |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Haunted Areum |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Currency |
|
|
|
 |
 |
>1000x1000 |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Lord Taengoo |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Emma Watson |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Taylor Swift |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Bully My Dick |
73' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Yutz !!fHFnmFa1CPT
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Zoology |
|
|
|
 |
 |
David Ateenborough |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Evil Pitbull |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Brown Recluse |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Ecofemenism |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Invasive Species |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Sexy Shrimp |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Canadian Goose |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Spacebat |
|
|
|
 |
 |
What Is This? |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Honeybadger |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Superior Porcupine |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Walrus Overlord |
73' |
|
|
 |
 |
Sun Bear |
73' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Rehmix
|
|
Man of the Match:
Honeybadger (/an/)
|
Match Stats
|
Possession (%)
|
47
|
|
53
|
Shots (on target)
|
6
|
|
8
|
(3)
|
|
(8)
|
Fouls (offside)
|
0
|
|
3
|
(0)
|
|
(1)
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
|
2
|
Free Kicks
|
3
|
|
1
|
Passes completed (%)
|
84
|
|
86
|
Crosses
|
2
|
|
3
|
Interceptions
|
4
|
|
4
|
Tackles
|
2
|
|
3
|
Saves
|
3
|
|
2
|
|
/soc/ v /hr/
Stadium: Konami Stadium
|
23 February 2014, 20:00 UTC
|
Attendance: 716
|
Feet 25', 29', 32', 52'
|
|
48' Emma Watson
57' Taylor Swift
|
|
Assists
|
|
Kickr 25' Crush 29' Haunter 32'
|
|
48' Taylor Swift
57' Lord Taengoo
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Timestamp |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Swell Guy |
56' |
|
|
 |
 |
Frosting |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Milkshakes with 3 dudes |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Roll Thread |
74' |
|
|
 |
 |
Ideal Mate |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Kickr |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Vocaroo |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Crush |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Haunter |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Feet |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Rate My Cock |
56' |
|
|
 |
 |
Use The Fucking Catalog |
74' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Celeb Threads |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Summer Glau |
|
|
|
 |
 |
User Was Warned |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Astronomy |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Bully My Dick |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Wikifeet |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Emma Stone |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Lord Taengoo |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Haunted Areum |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Emma Watson |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Taylor Swift |
|
|
|
Manager:
|
Yutz !!fHFnmFa1CPT
|
|
Man of the Match:
Feet (/soc/)
|
Match Stats
|
Possession (%)
|
51
|
|
49
|
Shots (on target)
|
9
|
|
4
|
(8)
|
|
(3)
|
Fouls (offside)
|
2
|
|
3
|
(1)
|
|
(2)
|
Corner Kicks
|
1
|
|
0
|
Free Kicks
|
3
|
|
2
|
Passes completed (%)
|
79
|
|
74
|
Crosses
|
1
|
|
2
|
Interceptions
|
9
|
|
12
|
Tackles
|
3
|
|
6
|
Saves
|
1
|
|
3
|
|
/an/ v /b/
Stadium: Estadio da Luz
|
23 February 2014, 20:30 UTC
|
Attendance: 750
|
Canadian Goose 86'
|
|
|
|
Assists
|
|
Honeybadger 86'
|
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Take It To The Vet |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Cat Person |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
Evil Pitbull |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
Biscuit |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Leopard Gecko |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Invasive Species |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Sexy Shrimp |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
Canadian Goose |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Spacebat |
|
|
|
 |
 |
What Is This? |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Honeybadger |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Brown Recluse |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
Domestic Fox |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
Skeptical Cat |
72' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Rehmix
|
|
|
|
Kit:
|
 |
 |
Fuckin Saved |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Rule 34 |
|
|
|
 |
 |
2edgy4me |
89' |
|
|
 |
 |
Chris Hansen |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Jimmy Rustler |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Trolled 2 Death |
|
|
|
 |
 |
TYFTA |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Giga Puddi |
|
|
|
 |
 |
I Told You Dog |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
James Holmes |
|
|
|
 |
 |
Triforce |
|
|
|
Substitutions:
|
 |
 |
Moses Garza |
72' |
|
|
 |
 |
60s Spiderman |
88' |
|
|
Manager:
|
Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ
|
|
Man of the Match:
Biscuit (/an/)
|
Match Stats
|
Possession (%)
|
51
|
|
49
|
Shots (on target)
|
3
|
|
7
|
(2)
|
|
(3)
|
Fouls (offside)
|
1
|
|
2
|
(1)
|
|
(1)
|
Corner Kicks
|
0
|
|
2
|
Free Kicks
|
2
|
|
1
|
Passes completed (%)
|
78
|
|
90
|
Crosses
|
1
|
|
2
|
Interceptions
|
4
|
|
13
|
Tackles
|
6
|
|
1
|
Saves
|
3
|
|
1
|
|