2014 4chan Winter Cup Group C

Summary

Matchday 1

/h/ proved they could break the /toy/ defense, refball not withstanding. But /h/ simply could not keep the pressure up, and /toy/ literally walked in their second goal without much opposition. Despite some rigging by Bittenfeld, it was clear that the renowned maverick was not drunk enough to win. Orange Transparent Chainsaw, leading /toy/'s defense, shut down every /h/ attempt to push up the field while their offense, exemplified by Woody, Madoka Titus, and Optimus Prime, cut through /h/'s ranks like a hot knife through butter. Still, DFC managed to keep this from being a total blowout, and /h/'s half-time rigging managed to change the pace of the game from /toy/tal domination to a more even, interesting, exciting match. /h/ has two more games to make up for its mistakes, but it seems that /toy/'s new manager Dawgamus can take them back to the championships.

We began with a bugged stadium and a half-hour of re-rigging because of it. Perennial underdog /y/ began with a surprisingly strong offense that penetrated /co/'s defense multiple times, eventually securing them the victory. /co/'s traditionally lonely offense was completely stymied by the mob-style defense of /y/, with The Flash and Tucker constantly pushed out of position and forced into making longshots that could not find their way into the goal. A surprising upset victory. Might we see /co/ battling it's friendly rival /tg/ in the Spring Babbies? Only time will tell.

Matchday 2

Following some 0-second rigging by Dr. BorisG, we kicked off one of the most anticipated matches of the day. Mediocre conditioning on /co/'s forwards was matched by amazing conditioning on Woody, /toy/'s star player, while /co/ goalie Mogo was in the best condition of his billion-year life and /toy/ found themselves unwilling to allow a purple Ham Hands to retire to the bench. The game broke down into the midfield sandwich, but Woody found a way to use his touch to take a one-point lead in the first half. But Danger Zone rang through the stadium when Tucker, in a fit of uncharacteristic generosity, passed a thru-ball to Archer and allowed him to score for /co/. An amazing point-blank choke by the Flash (Wally West) at 63' 30" saw the ball bounce up and down on the goal line in the most ridiculous trollbar to we have ever seen. But a beautiful triple play by Hope Corgi, /co/lette, and a redirecting trollbar gave /co/ the victory exactly at the 90'. Almost 2 dozen interceptions were seen in this nail-biting, fully-rigged game that gave us a 6.0 Woman of the Match and left Group C in a very interesting position going into next Saturday.

In an ugly as fuck stadium, where half the players were unreadable and nobody could see the ball, /y/ proved that heterosexual hentai was the better hentai. /h/ dominated the match in terms of possession and shots, playing a strong midfield that left /y/'s completely wing-based offense on the back foot. SleepDeprivedAnon proved that on top of making shit stadiums, playing unusual formations and providing inappropriate chants for his team, his pitch and his tactics crash the game and he rigs even more than Bittenfeld. The forced restart utterly destroyed the conditions for both teams and resulted in the first game of the 4CC to feature absolutely equal conditions. Due to PES2014 preventing own goals, Asuka scored for /h/ in the new game, and we moved on to the second half after watching DJ BorisG play multiple songs over a field of confused AI players. /y/'s despearte all-out, 6 attacker tactics were easily exploited by /h/, who broke through /y/'s non-existent defense to score a flurry of goals in the second half, a flurry that /y/ simply could not match. /h/ won handily, as they deserved after the fuckup of /y/, and Group C enters the second week with all teams on the board and competing to advance. Get Hype!

Matchday 3

This game was fucking nothing. Disregarding a very drunk Bittenfeld trying to force the game into another draw in an already drawn group, the Blue and Purple forwards of /co/ let down a great set of midfield and defensive players, highlighted by Alan Moore, Brock Samson, and Aku. /h/'s own midfield would overwhelm the ill-conditioned forwards of /co/, and team punching bag The Trash would lead /co/ in choking on critical shots. /h/ was not immune from the epidemic of chokes that seemed to be afflicting PES, with /h/ player Kneesocks afflicted with a particularly bad case. This boring, shitty game would allow /h/ to go through, and leave /co/ clinging to the hope that /y/ would force /toy/ into another nil-nil draw, a hope that seemed that much less ridiculous for this game. One final note: Sack Wally West, get Jay Garrick in here.

In this group of draws, this would be the deciding match. The fate of /co/ rested on this game between group favorites /toy/ and group failures /y/. Well-conditioned strikers on /y/ and a Blue Woody seemed to give them the advantage, but Madoka Titus killed /co/'s sliver of hope by scoring 5 minutes into the game, stealing the ball from a spaghetti-ing Kawaii Neko. A second goal by Madoka Titus seemed to put the game in /toy/'s favor and prompted /y/ to start throwing players out of formation and rig like Bittenfeld. Gold defender Yaranaika managed to outwit and outconfuse /toy/ 78' into the game to score and then...PES crashed. The curse of /y/, perhaps a child of the curse of /x/, would see commissioner Dr. BorisG flail about like a limbless paraplegic trying to play PES2014 for the very first time. Amid protestations of "I don't play PES!" and "Boris, X is shoot!" sides disappeared around the world as the commissioner attempted, and failed dramatically, to rig the game back to its pre-crash stats. Balls were walked into GKs, stolen by AI players, held by players that refused to give them to the proper team, and eventually ended with everyone just giving up and laughing uncontrollably. Gold defender Yaranaika would AGAIN score a goal for /y/, putting the aggregate score at 2-2 and ending Group C with quads. /toy/ and /h/ advance to the knockouts, to face the winners of Group D.

Table

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
/h/	3	1	1	1	4	3	1	4
/toy/	3	1	1	1	5	5	0	4
/co/	3	1	1	1	3	3	0	4
/y/	3	1	1	1	5	6	-1	4

/toy/ v /h/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium

14 February 2014, 19:40 UTC

Attendance: 775

/toy/ 2–1 /h/

Woody  3' Matty  21'		80' Asuka
	Assists
Madoka Titus  3'		80' Delicious Flat Chest

Kit: Ham Hands The World Orange Transparent Chainsaw Screwholes Detolf Shelves Rapedog  71' Matty You Knoe Who  90+' Optimus Prime Madoka Titus Woody Substitutions: African Bugman  71' Kinder Eggs  90+' Manager: DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT

Kit: Sad Panda  30' La Blue Girl  45' Slut Girl Christmas Cake Secret Plot  45' Kneesocks Pomf-chan Reika Kitami Delicious Flat Chest Titty Monster Asuka Langley Soryu Substitutions: Faceless Fat Guy  30' Umemaro 3D  45' Angel Blade  45' Manager: Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Man of the Match: Orange Transparent Chainsaw (/toy/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 47 53 Shots (on target) 8 5 (6) (3) Fouls (offside) 2 1 (1) (1) Corner Kicks 4 0 Free Kicks 1 2 Passes completed (%) 77 79 Crosses 5 3 Interceptions 8 7 Tackles 1 1 Saves 0 3

/co/ v /y/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium

14 February 2014, 20:20 UTC

Attendance: 874

/co/ 1–2 /y/

/co/lette  32'		19', 54' Ramen Yaoi
	Assists
The Flash  32'		19' I SOOO Need It  54' Black

Kit: Mogo Sexism Forty Cakes Rightclops Dead Parents  65' Win O'Thread  65' Archer /co/lette Superior Tucker The Flash Substitutions: Hope Corgi  65' Alan Moore  65' Manager: DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY

Kit: Denied Pleasure Blowjob Thread Spiderman  74' Yaranaika Footjob Thread Pit  74' Black  86' The Dick Sooo Need It Ramen Yaoi Delete Your Misfires Substitutions: Link  74' Anal Rape  74' Not A Trap  86' Manager: Sleep Deprived Anon !!gI7vh35uJ8C.

Man of the Match: Denied Pleasure (/y/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 50 50 Shots (on target) 13 11 (10) (8) Fouls (offside) 2 1 (1) (1) Corner Kicks 5 2 Free Kicks 1 2 Passes completed (%) 73 76 Crosses 9 2 Interceptions 7 9 Tackles 5 0 Saves 4 7

The setup for the match had to be redone after >/y/'s pitch caused an endless loading loop. As a result, the game was played at Wembley Stadium. /co/'s intended to use the same kits, while /y/ were going to play with white and pink hoops due to their kits not being fixed. During the restart, the host was able to fix the /y/ kits.

/toy/ v /co/

Stadium: Konami Stadium

16 February 2014, 19:40 UTC

Attendance: 895

/toy/ 1–2 /co/

Woody  36'		53' Archer  90+2' /co/lette
	Assists
Optimus Prime  36'		53' Tucker  90+2' Hope Corgi

Kit: Ham Hands Nubs Destiny Saber Miku Screwholes  70' Cactus Owl My Nugga  70' Matty Kinder Eggs Optimus Prime Madoka Titus Woody Substitutions: African Bugman  70' The World  70' Manager: DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT

Kit: Mogo Rightclops Forty Cakes Doom  76' Alan Moore Bad News  70' /co/lette >my frank when  70' Archer The Flash Tucker Substitutions: Hope Corgi  70' T.O.M.  70' Aku  76' Manager: DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY

Man of the Match: /co/lette (/co/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 49 51 Shots (on target) 5 4 (3) (3) Fouls (offside) 2 0 (2) (0) Corner Kicks 2 0 Free Kicks 0 2 Passes completed (%) 81 78 Crosses 2 0 Interceptions 10 13 Tackles 4 2 Saves 2 2

/h/ v /y/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz

16 February 2014, 20:20 UTC

Attendance: 895

/h/ 3–1 /y/

Titty Monster  34', 53' Asuka  61'		50' I SOOO Need It
	Assists
Asuka  34', 53' Secret Plot  61'

Kit: Garterbelt Mezzo Forte Slut Girl Christmas Cake Fap Gauntlet Angel Blade Kneesocks Delicious Brown  62' Reika Kitami Asuka Langley Soryu Titty Monster Substitutions: Pomf-chan  62' Manager: Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Kit: Bondage General Yaoi Accessories Yaranaika Kawaii Neko ~*~  45' Sea Turtle Not A Trap Link  45' Hotalia Black Ramen Yaoi Delete Your Missfires Substitutions: I Sooo Need It  45' The Dick  45' Manager: Sleep Deprived Anon !!gI7vh35uJ8C.

Man of the Match: Asuka Langley Soryu (/h/)

The game crashed at halftime. The match was replayed and manipulated to keep scores until that time. Conditioning was set to be normal () for the restart. Starting elevens are shown with conditioning as it was before the restart, substitutions shown with conditioning as it was after the restart. Both teams kept their kits after the restart. /h/ player Fap Gauntlet did not play following the crash and was replaced by Secret Plot. Match stats are invalidated.

/co/ v /h/

Stadium: Stade de France

22 February 2014, 19:00 UTC

Attendance: 805

/co/ 0–0 /h/

	Assists

Kit: Mogo Brock Samson Aku Rightclops Alan Moore  63' Bad News  80' Archer /co/lette Superior  80' The Flash Tucker Substitutions: Dead Parents  63' W.O.Y.A.  80' Sportsmaster  80' Manager: DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY

Kit: Garterbelt La Blue Girl  80' Slut Girl Ino Yamanaka Secret Plot Kneesocks Angel Blade  63' Step Sister  63' Reika Kitami Asuka Langley Soryu Titty Monster Substitutions: POMF-chan  63' Delicious Brown  63' Mezzo Forte  80' Manager: Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Man of the Match: Brock Samson (/co/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 52 48 Shots (on target) 4 3 (1) (1) Fouls (offside) 1 1 (1) (0) Corner Kicks 3 1 Free Kicks 1 1 Passes completed (%) 80 75 Crosses 6 2 Interceptions 14 8 Tackles 2 5 Saves 0 1

/y/ v /toy/

Stadium: Estadio do Morumbi

22 February 2014, 19:30 UTC

Attendance: 810

/y/ 2–2 /toy/

Yaranaika  72', 88'		4', 20' Madoka Titus
	Assists
Blowjob Thread  72'		20' Saber Miku

Kit: Bondage General Blowjob Thread Yaranaika Kawaii Neko ~*~ Sea Turtle Fucktoys Link  78' Black  78' Delete Your Misfires Ramen Yaoi I Sooo Need It Substitutions: Hotalia  78' Not A Trap  78' Manager: Sleep Deprived Anon !!gI7vh35uJ8C.

Kit: Thew Adams Nubs Destiny Detolf Shelves Saber Miku Cactus Owl My Nugga  78' Matty Kinder Eggs  78' Optimus Prime Madoka Titus Woody Substitutions: You Knoe Who  78' Rapedog  78' Manager: DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT

The game crashed in the 78th minute. The match was replayed and manipulated to keep a 0-0 scoreline so the score could be aggregated after full time. Conditioning was set to be normal () for the restart. Starting elevens are shown with conditioning as it was before the restart, substitutions shown with conditioning as it was after the restart. /toy/ kept their kit after the restart, while /y/ changed to their black and pink hoops. Match stats and Man of the Match are invalidated.