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2014 4chan Winter Cup Group C

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Summary

Matchday 1

/h/ proved they could break the /toy/ defense, refball not withstanding. But /h/ simply could not keep the pressure up, and /toy/ literally walked in their second goal without much opposition. Despite some rigging by Bittenfeld, it was clear that the renowned maverick was not drunk enough to win. Orange Transparent Chainsaw, leading /toy/'s defense, shut down every /h/ attempt to push up the field while their offense, exemplified by Woody, Madoka Titus, and Optimus Prime, cut through /h/'s ranks like a hot knife through butter. Still, DFC managed to keep this from being a total blowout, and /h/'s half-time rigging managed to change the pace of the game from /toy/tal domination to a more even, interesting, exciting match. /h/ has two more games to make up for its mistakes, but it seems that /toy/'s new manager Dawgamus can take them back to the championships.

We began with a bugged stadium and a half-hour of re-rigging because of it. Perennial underdog /y/ began with a surprisingly strong offense that penetrated /co/'s defense multiple times, eventually securing them the victory. /co/'s traditionally lonely offense was completely stymied by the mob-style defense of /y/, with The Flash and Tucker constantly pushed out of position and forced into making longshots that could not find their way into the goal. A surprising upset victory. Might we see /co/ battling it's friendly rival /tg/ in the Spring Babbies? Only time will tell.

Matchday 2

Following some 0-second rigging by Dr. BorisG, we kicked off one of the most anticipated matches of the day. Mediocre conditioning on /co/'s forwards was matched by amazing conditioning on Woody, /toy/'s star player, while /co/ goalie Mogo was in the best condition of his billion-year life and /toy/ found themselves unwilling to allow a purple Ham Hands to retire to the bench. The game broke down into the midfield sandwich, but Woody found a way to use his touch to take a one-point lead in the first half. But Danger Zone rang through the stadium when Tucker, in a fit of uncharacteristic generosity, passed a thru-ball to Archer and allowed him to score for /co/. An amazing point-blank choke by the Flash (Wally West) at 63' 30" saw the ball bounce up and down on the goal line in the most ridiculous trollbar to we have ever seen. But a beautiful triple play by Hope Corgi, /co/lette, and a redirecting trollbar gave /co/ the victory exactly at the 90'. Almost 2 dozen interceptions were seen in this nail-biting, fully-rigged game that gave us a 6.0 Woman of the Match and left Group C in a very interesting position going into next Saturday.

In an ugly as fuck stadium, where half the players were unreadable and nobody could see the ball, /y/ proved that heterosexual hentai was the better hentai. /h/ dominated the match in terms of possession and shots, playing a strong midfield that left /y/'s completely wing-based offense on the back foot. SleepDeprivedAnon proved that on top of making shit stadiums, playing unusual formations and providing inappropriate chants for his team, his pitch and his tactics crash the game and he rigs even more than Bittenfeld. The forced restart utterly destroyed the conditions for both teams and resulted in the first game of the 4CC to feature absolutely equal conditions. Due to PES2014 preventing own goals, Asuka scored for /h/ in the new game, and we moved on to the second half after watching DJ BorisG play multiple songs over a field of confused AI players. /y/'s despearte all-out, 6 attacker tactics were easily exploited by /h/, who broke through /y/'s non-existent defense to score a flurry of goals in the second half, a flurry that /y/ simply could not match. /h/ won handily, as they deserved after the fuckup of /y/, and Group C enters the second week with all teams on the board and competing to advance. Get Hype!

Matchday 3

This game was fucking nothing. Disregarding a very drunk Bittenfeld trying to force the game into another draw in an already drawn group, the Blue and Purple forwards of /co/ let down a great set of midfield and defensive players, highlighted by Alan Moore, Brock Samson, and Aku. /h/'s own midfield would overwhelm the ill-conditioned forwards of /co/, and team punching bag The Trash would lead /co/ in choking on critical shots. /h/ was not immune from the epidemic of chokes that seemed to be afflicting PES, with /h/ player Kneesocks afflicted with a particularly bad case. This boring, shitty game would allow /h/ to go through, and leave /co/ clinging to the hope that /y/ would force /toy/ into another nil-nil draw, a hope that seemed that much less ridiculous for this game. One final note: Sack Wally West, get Jay Garrick in here.

In this group of draws, this would be the deciding match. The fate of /co/ rested on this game between group favorites /toy/ and group failures /y/. Well-conditioned strikers on /y/ and a Blue Woody seemed to give them the advantage, but Madoka Titus killed /co/'s sliver of hope by scoring 5 minutes into the game, stealing the ball from a spaghetti-ing Kawaii Neko. A second goal by Madoka Titus seemed to put the game in /toy/'s favor and prompted /y/ to start throwing players out of formation and rig like Bittenfeld. Gold defender Yaranaika managed to outwit and outconfuse /toy/ 78' into the game to score and then...PES crashed. The curse of /y/, perhaps a child of the curse of /x/, would see commissioner Dr. BorisG flail about like a limbless paraplegic trying to play PES2014 for the very first time. Amid protestations of "I don't play PES!" and "Boris, X is shoot!" sides disappeared around the world as the commissioner attempted, and failed dramatically, to rig the game back to its pre-crash stats. Balls were walked into GKs, stolen by AI players, held by players that refused to give them to the proper team, and eventually ended with everyone just giving up and laughing uncontrollably. Gold defender Yaranaika would AGAIN score a goal for /y/, putting the aggregate score at 2-2 and ending Group C with quads. /toy/ and /h/ advance to the knockouts, to face the winners of Group D.

Table

Team Pld W D L GF GA GD Pts
H icon.png /h/ 3 1 1 1 4 3 1 4
Toy icon.png /toy/ 3 1 1 1 5 5 0 4
Co icon.png /co/ 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
Y icon.png /y/ 3 1 1 1 5 6 -1 4


/toy/ v /h/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium 14 February 2014, 19:40 UTC Attendance: 775
Toy logo.png /toy/ 2–1 /h/ H logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Woody Goal 3'
Matty Goal 21'
Goal 80' Asuka
 
Assists
 
Madoka Titus Assist 3'
Assist 80' Delicious Flat Chest


Kit: Toyhome-2016sbcq.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-good.png Ham Hands
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png The World
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Orange Transparent Chainsaw
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Screwholes
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Detolf Shelves
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Rapedog Substituted in 71'
Pos-RMF.png Cond-poor.png Matty
Pos-AMF.png Cond-good.png You Knoe Who Substituted in 90+'
Pos-LMF.png Cond-poor.png Optimus Prime
Pos-SS.png Cond-very poor.png Madoka Titus
Pos-CF.png Cond-good.png Woody
Substitutions:
Pos-DMF.png Cond-very good.png African Bugman Substituted in 71'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-okay.png Kinder Eggs Substituted in 90+'
Manager:
DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT
2014wc group c-toy h.png
Kit: Hkit1-2014wc.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-poor.png Sad Panda Substituted off 30'
Pos-RB.png Cond-good.png La Blue Girl Substituted off 45'
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Slut Girl
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Christmas Cake
Pos-LB.png Cond-very good.png Secret Plot Substituted off 45'
Pos-CMF.png Cond-okay.png Kneesocks
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Pomf-chan
Pos-CMF.png Cond-poor.png Reika Kitami
Pos-AMF.png Cond-poor.png Delicious Flat Chest
Pos-CF.png Cond-very good.png Titty Monster
Pos-SS.png Cond-good.png Asuka Langley Soryu
Substitutions:
Pos-GK.png Cond-okay.png Faceless Fat Guy Substituted in 30'
Pos-RB.png Cond-okay.png Umemaro 3D Substituted in 45'
Pos-LB.png Cond-good.png Angel Blade Substituted in 45'
Manager:
Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Man of the Match:
Orange Transparent Chainsaw (/toy/)

                 Match Stats
Possession (%)

47

53

Shots (on target)

8

5

(6)

(3)

Fouls (offside)

2

1

(1)

(1)

Corner Kicks

4

0

Free Kicks

1

2

Passes completed (%)

77

79

Crosses

5

3

Interceptions

8

7

Tackles

1

1

Saves

0

3

/co/ v /y/

Stadium: Wembley Stadium 14 February 2014, 20:20 UTC Attendance: 874
Co logo.png /co/ 1–2 /y/ Y logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
/co/lette Goal 32'
Goal 19'54' Ramen Yaoi
 
Assists
 
The Flash Assist 32'
Assist 19' I SOOO Need It
Assist 54' Black


Kit: Co home kit 2013 winter cup.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-very good.png Mogo
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Sexism
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Forty Cakes
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Rightclops
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Dead Parents Substituted off 65'
Pos-RMF.png Cond-good.png Win O'Thread Substituted off 65'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-good.png Archer
Pos-AMF.png Cond-good.png /co/lette
Pos-LMF.png Cond-good.png Superior
Pos-CF.png Cond-very good.png Tucker
Pos-SS.png Cond-okay.png The Flash
Substitutions:
Pos-RMF.png Cond-okay.png Hope Corgi Substituted in 65'
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Alan Moore Substituted in 65'
Manager:
DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK
Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY
2014wc group c-co y.png
Kit: Yalt abc2015.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-very good.png Denied Pleasure
Pos-RB.png Cond-very good.png Blowjob Thread
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Spiderman Substituted off 74'
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Yaranaika
Pos-LB.png Cond-very good.png Footjob Thread
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Pit Substituted off 74'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-good.png Black Substituted off 86'
Pos-RWF.png Cond-very poor.png The Dick
Pos-LWF.png Cond-poor.png Sooo Need It
Pos-SS.png Cond-very good.png Ramen Yaoi
Pos-CF.png Cond-very poor.png Delete Your Misfires
Substitutions:
Pos-DMF.png Cond-poor.png Link Substituted in 74'
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Anal Rape Substituted in 74'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-good.png Not A Trap Substituted in 86'
Manager:
Sleep Deprived Anon !!gI7vh35uJ8C.

Man of the Match:
Denied Pleasure (/y/)

                 Match Stats
Possession (%)

50

50

Shots (on target)

13

11

(10)

(8)

Fouls (offside)

2

1

(1)

(1)

Corner Kicks

5

2

Free Kicks

1

2

Passes completed (%)

73

76

Crosses

9

2

Interceptions

7

9

Tackles

5

0

Saves

4

7

The setup for the match had to be redone after >/y/'s pitch caused an endless loading loop. As a result, the game was played at Wembley Stadium. /co/'s intended to use the same kits, while /y/ were going to play with white and pink hoops due to their kits not being fixed. During the restart, the host was able to fix the /y/ kits.

/toy/ v /co/

Stadium: Konami Stadium 16 February 2014, 19:40 UTC Attendance: 895
Toy logo.png /toy/ 1–2 /co/ Co logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Woody Goal 36'
Goal 53' Archer
Goal 90+2' /co/lette
 
Assists
 
Optimus Prime Assist 36'
Assist 53' Tucker
Assist 90+2' Hope Corgi


Kit: Toykit1-2014wc.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-very poor.png Ham Hands
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Nubs Destiny
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Saber Miku
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Screwholes Substituted off 70'
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Cactus Owl
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png My Nugga Substituted off 70'
Pos-RMF.png Cond-very poor.png Matty
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very good.png Kinder Eggs
Pos-LMF.png Cond-good.png Optimus Prime
Pos-SS.png Cond-poor.png Madoka Titus
Pos-CF.png Cond-very good.png Woody
Substitutions:
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png African Bugman Substituted in 70'
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png The World Substituted in 70'
Manager:
DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT
2014wc group c-toy co.png
Kit: Co home kit 2013 winter cup.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-very good.png Mogo
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Rightclops
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Forty Cakes
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Doom Substituted off 76'
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Alan Moore
Pos-RMF.png Cond-good.png Bad News Substituted off 70'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very good.png /co/lette
Pos-LMF.png Cond-very poor.png >my frank when Substituted off 70'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very good.png Archer
Pos-SS.png Cond-okay.png The Flash
Pos-CF.png Cond-okay.png Tucker
Substitutions:
Pos-RMF.png Cond-good.png Hope Corgi Substituted in 70'
Pos-LMF.png Cond-good.png T.O.M. Substituted in 70'
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Aku Substituted in 76'
Manager:
DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK
Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY

Man of the Match:
/co/lette (/co/)

                 Match Stats
Possession (%)

49

51

Shots (on target)

5

4

(3)

(3)

Fouls (offside)

2

0

(2)

(0)

Corner Kicks

2

0

Free Kicks

0

2

Passes completed (%)

81

78

Crosses

2

0

Interceptions

10

13

Tackles

4

2

Saves

2

2

/h/ v /y/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz 16 February 2014, 20:20 UTC Attendance: 895
H logo.png /h/ 3–1 /y/ Y logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Titty Monster Goal 34'53'
Asuka Goal 61'
Goal 50' I SOOO Need It
 
Assists
 
Asuka Assist 34'53'
Secret Plot Assist 61'


Kit: Hhome sc2015.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-good.png Garterbelt
Pos-RB.png Cond-okay.png Mezzo Forte
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Slut Girl
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Christmas Cake
Pos-LB.png Cond-very good.png Fap Gauntlet
Pos-DMF.png Cond-very good.png Angel Blade
Pos-CMF.png Cond-okay.png Kneesocks
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Delicious Brown Substituted off 62'
Pos-CMF.png Cond-very poor.png Reika Kitami
Pos-SS.png Cond-very good.png Asuka Langley Soryu
Pos-CF.png Cond-okay.png Titty Monster
Substitutions:
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Pomf-chan Substituted in 62'
Manager:
Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz
2014wc group c-h y.png
Kit: Ykit1-2014wc.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-good.png Bondage General
Pos-RB.png Cond-very good.png Yaoi Accessories
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Yaranaika
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Kawaii Neko ~*~ Substituted off 45'
Pos-LB.png Cond-good.png Sea Turtle
Pos-AMF.png Cond-good.png Not A Trap
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Link Substituted off 45'
Pos-CMF.png Cond-very good.png Hotalia
Pos-AMF.png Cond-okay.png Black
Pos-SS.png Cond-okay.png Ramen Yaoi
Pos-CF.png Cond-okay.png Delete Your Missfires
Substitutions:
Pos-LWF.png Cond-okay.png I Sooo Need It Substituted in 45'
Pos-RWF.png Cond-okay.png The Dick Substituted in 45'
Manager:
Sleep Deprived Anon !!gI7vh35uJ8C.

Man of the Match:
Asuka Langley Soryu (/h/)

The game crashed at halftime. The match was replayed and manipulated to keep scores until that time. Conditioning was set to be normal (Cond-okay.png) for the restart. Starting elevens are shown with conditioning as it was before the restart, substitutions shown with conditioning as it was after the restart. Both teams kept their kits after the restart. /h/ player Fap Gauntlet did not play following the crash and was replaced by Secret Plot. Match stats are invalidated.

/co/ v /h/

Stadium: Stade de France 22 February 2014, 19:00 UTC Attendance: 805
Co logo.png /co/ 0–0 /h/ H logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
 
Assists
 


Kit: Co away kit 2013.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-very good.png Mogo
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Brock Samson
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Aku
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Rightclops
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Alan Moore Substituted off 63'
Pos-RMF.png Cond-good.png Bad News Substituted off 80'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-poor.png Archer
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very poor.png /co/lette
Pos-LMF.png Cond-very good.png Superior Substituted off 80'
Pos-SS.png Cond-poor.png The Flash
Pos-CF.png Cond-very poor.png Tucker
Substitutions:
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Dead Parents Substituted in 63'
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png W.O.Y.A. Substituted in 80'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very good.png Sportsmaster Substituted in 80'
Manager:
DocSax !!CZDGJzT39aK
Mantis !!JQtP16lnumY
2014wc group c-co h.png
Kit: Hhome sc2015.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-good.png Garterbelt
Pos-RB.png Cond-okay.png La Blue Girl Substituted off 80'
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Slut Girl
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Ino Yamanaka
Pos-LB.png Cond-okay.png Secret Plot
Pos-CMF.png Cond-poor.png Kneesocks
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Angel Blade Substituted off 63'
Pos-DMF.png Cond-very good.png Step Sister Substituted off 63'
Pos-CMF.png Cond-very good.png Reika Kitami
Pos-SS.png Cond-poor.png Asuka Langley Soryu
Pos-CF.png Cond-good.png Titty Monster
Substitutions:
Pos-LB.png Cond-okay.png POMF-chan Substituted in 63'
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png Delicious Brown Substituted in 63'
Pos-RB.png Cond-poor.png Mezzo Forte Substituted in 80'
Manager:
Bittenfeld !!YN/c61bWcAz

Man of the Match:
Brock Samson (/co/)

                 Match Stats
Possession (%)

52

48

Shots (on target)

4

3

(1)

(1)

Fouls (offside)

1

1

(1)

(0)

Corner Kicks

3

1

Free Kicks

1

1

Passes completed (%)

80

75

Crosses

6

2

Interceptions

14

8

Tackles

2

5

Saves

0

1

/y/ v /toy/

Stadium: Estadio do Morumbi 22 February 2014, 19:30 UTC Attendance: 810
Y logo.png /y/ 2–2 /toy/ Toy logo.png Scoreboard overlay.png
Yaranaika Goal 72'88' Goal 4'20' Madoka Titus
 
Assists
 
Blowjob Thread Assist 72' Assist 20' Saber Miku


Kit: Ykit2-2014wc.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-okay.png Bondage General
Pos-RB.png Cond-very good.png Blowjob Thread
Pos-CB.png Cond-very good.png Yaranaika
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Kawaii Neko ~*~
Pos-LB.png Cond-okay.png Sea Turtle
Pos-RMF.png Cond-very good.png Fucktoys
Pos-DMF.png Cond-poor.png Link Substituted off 78'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very poor.png Black Substituted off 78'
Pos-CF.png Cond-okay.png Delete Your Misfires
Pos-SS.png Cond-good.png Ramen Yaoi
Pos-LWF.png Cond-very good.png I Sooo Need It
Substitutions:
Pos-CMF.png Cond-okay.png Hotalia Substituted in 78'
Pos-AMF.png Cond-okay.png Not A Trap Substituted in 78'
Manager:
Sleep Deprived Anon !!gI7vh35uJ8C.
2014wc group c-y toy.png
Kit: Toyhome-2016sbcq.png
Pos-GK.png Cond-okay.png Thew Adams
Pos-CB.png Cond-good.png Nubs Destiny
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Detolf Shelves
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Saber Miku
Pos-CB.png Cond-okay.png Cactus Owl
Pos-DMF.png Cond-good.png My Nugga Substituted off 78'
Pos-RMF.png Cond-poor.png Matty
Pos-AMF.png Cond-very good.png Kinder Eggs Substituted off 78'
Pos-LMF.png Cond-okay.png Optimus Prime
Pos-SS.png Cond-okay.png Madoka Titus
Pos-CF.png Cond-poor.png Woody
Substitutions:
Pos-AMF.png Cond-okay.png You Knoe Who Substituted in 78'
Pos-DMF.png Cond-okay.png Rapedog Substituted in 78'
Manager:
DawgamusPrime !!nAmLxhuSwBT

The game crashed in the 78th minute. The match was replayed and manipulated to keep a 0-0 scoreline so the score could be aggregated after full time. Conditioning was set to be normal (Cond-okay.png) for the restart. Starting elevens are shown with conditioning as it was before the restart, substitutions shown with conditioning as it was after the restart. /toy/ kept their kit after the restart, while /y/ changed to their black and pink hoops. Match stats and Man of the Match are invalidated.