2014 4chan Winter Cup Group H

Summary

Matchday 1

Amid discussions of how old and busted many of /b/'s teammates were [spoiler]looking at you James Holmes[/spoiler], /hr/ managed to secure a 1-0 lead in the first half and break through /b/'s defense several times for good shots. /hr/ held on to their 1-0 lead through the entire match, and even going FULL TWENTIES could not give /b/ an equalizing point. Thank god we didn't have to hear that anthem again.

Once upon a time, /soc/ was feared. But with an absent manager and shit conditions on the bench, they were unable to defeat the uncaring /an/imals of /an/. Canadian Goose and Honey Badger led the way for /an/ to run right past the /soc/ defense, though they found their offensive stopped at almost all turns by /soc/ GK Permalurker. Still, /an/ secured an early goal via What Is This? that secured their victory over the autistic sex addicts of /soc/. We pray that they can beat /b/ next weak and prevent us from hearing their anthem in the Round of 16.

Matchday 2

Just as Rayman player models seemed to be a favorable sign for /v/, it seemed that /soc/'s captain FEET would find himself strengthened by the stealing of the shins. Unfortunately, conditions overwhelmingly favored /b/, and they told over the course of the game. An immediate 5' goal by FEET turned the momentum over to /soc/, and a heavily marked James Holmes was stopped by the /soc/ defense. However, Triforce and Moses Garza would put the game away for /b/ with a late goal in the first half and another in the middle of the second as /b/ began to play more aggressively. Despite some good pushes by /soc/ they were unable to seal the deal and score, and the ear-raping anthem of /b/ played out over the stadium once more. /soc/ now sits at the bottom of the group in need of a miracle 9-3-3-3 in order to have a chance of surviving.

Another game with lots of poor conditions, with much of /hr/'s backline and /an/'s star forwards in Blue and Purple. A spirited offensive effort by /hr/ was stomped by the rampaging animals of /an/. Despite taking a 1-0 lead in the first quarter of the game, /hr/ found its lead stolen by Canadian Goose, and star forwards Spacebat and Honey Badger (Purple and Blue) sealed /hr/'s fate. /hr/'s defeat left the possibility of /soc/ advancing alive, and /an/ would top the group.

Matchday 3

/soc/ seeks a two-point victory over /hr/ in order to advance or at least cripple /hr/'s chances to advance. A well-positioned FEET put in three goals in the space of 7 minutes against /hr/'s GK Celeb Threads, taking the record for fastest hat trick ever, almost sealing /hr/'s fate after a series of poor games. Mid-game changes by /hr/ allowed Emma Watson to score and threaten /soc/'s advance, but FUCKING SPAGHETTI by /hr/'s defensive mob allowed FEET to earn a double brace and putting /soc/ far ahead of /hr/. Despite Taylor Swift scoring another goal for /hr/, /soc/ would deny them the chance to drag them down with them. Thus, at the very last moment, /soc/ survives and keeps their chances of advancing alive despite losing every other game in the group. Their fate in the hands of /b/, they would advance with /b/'s defeat and will face the well-traveled players of /trv/ in the Round of 16.

A bungling offense by /an/ and a James Holmes who could not hit a man in a dark theater saw this game sit at 0-0 for most of the match. Take It To The Vet must've taken some steroids from his clinic, as he saved /an/ and our ears from /b/'s offensive volleys. But Fucken Saved could not save /b/ in the end, as Canadian Goose finally got loose and blasted a ball into the goal with 5 minutes remaining in the match. /an/ will face /wg/ in the first round of the knockouts, and /soc/ makes a great escape to advance to the knockouts and face the arguably stronger /trv/.

Table

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
/an/	3	3	0	0	5	1	4	9
/soc/	3	1	0	2	5	5	0	3
/b/	3	1	0	2	2	3	-1	3
/hr/	3	1	0	2	4	7	-3	3

/b/ v /hr/

Stadium: Stade de France

15 February 2014, 21:00 UTC

Attendance: 679

/b/ 0–1 /hr/

		12' Haunted Areum
	Assists

Kit: Pools Closed Rule 34 TYFTT 2edgy4me Jimmy Rustler Trolled 2 Death  74' 60s Spiderman  12' Moses Garza Giga Puddi James Holmes Triforce Substitutions: OVER 9000  12' Bread  74' Manager: Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ

Kit: Celeb Threads Movie Posters Mila Kunis Astronomy  74' Bully My Dick Haunted Areum Nugu  74' Emma Stone Lord Taengoo Emma Watson Taylor Swift Substitutions: Wikifeet  74' User Was Warned  74' Manager: Yutz !!fHFnmFa1CPT

Man of the Match: Haunted Areum (/hr/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 56 44 Shots (on target) 5 5 (5) (5) Fouls (offside) 0 1 (0) (0) Corner Kicks 0 1 Free Kicks 1 0 Passes completed (%) 82 84 Crosses 3 3 Interceptions 7 9 Tackles 1 1 Saves 4 4

/soc/ v /an/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz

15 February 2014, 21:40 UTC

Attendance: 601

/soc/ 0–1 /an/

		34' What Is This?
	Assists
		34' Spacebat

Kit: Permalurker Time Line  69' Rate My Cock  69' Milkshakes with 3 dudes slug.jpg /sma/utism  69' Roll Thread Crush Vocaroo Haunter Feet Substitutions: Frosting  69' Contactfag  69' Kickr  69' Manager: Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv

Kit: Take it to the Vet Cat Person Superior Porcupine Brown Recluse Leopard Gecko  73' Walrus Overlord  73' Canadian Goose Sun Bear  81' What Is This? Spacebat Honeybadger Substitutions: Invasive Species  73' Ecofemenism  73' Sexy Shrimp  81' Manager: Rehmix

Man of the Match: Honeybadger (/an/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 52 48 Shots (on target) 4 5 (1) (4) Fouls (offside) 2 1 (1) (0) Corner Kicks 0 2 Free Kicks 1 2 Passes completed (%) 85 70 Crosses 1 4 Interceptions 11 7 Tackles 2 3 Saves 2 1

/b/ v /soc/

Stadium: Stamford Bridge

21 February 2014, 21:00 UTC

Attendance: 546

/b/ 2–1 /soc/

Triforce  41' Moses Garza  73'		6' Feet
	Assists
		6' Kickr

Kit: Nyancat Rule 34 TYFTT 2edgy4me Jimmy Rustler Trolled 2 Death Berry My Dick Giga Puddi I Told You Dog  73' Triforce James Holmes Substitutions: Moses Garza  73' Manager: Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ

Kit: Permalurker Contactfag Milkshakes with 3 dudes  73' Rate My Cock Tumblr  73' Kickr Use The Fucking Catalog Vocaroo Crush Feet Haunter Substitutions: slug.jpg  73' Heaven  73' Manager: Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv

Man of the Match: Triforce (/b/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 46 54 Shots (on target) 10 6 (9) (4) Fouls (offside) 2 1 (1) (0) Corner Kicks 1 1 Free Kicks 1 2 Passes completed (%) 80 82 Crosses 2 2 Interceptions 9 7 Tackles 4 2 Saves 2 5

/hr/ v /an/

Stadium: Konami Stadium

21 February 2014, 21:40 UTC

Attendance: 499

/hr/ 1–3 /an/

Emma Watson  27'		43' Canadian Goose  54' Spacebat  80' Honeybadger
	Assists
Taylor Swift  27'		43' Honeybadger  80' Canadian Goose

Kit: Celeb Threads Movie Posters Astronomy  73' Celeb Fakes Vagina Closeups Haunted Areum Currency >1000x1000 Lord Taengoo Emma Watson Taylor Swift Substitutions: Bully My Dick  73' Manager: Yutz !!fHFnmFa1CPT

Kit: Zoology David Ateenborough Evil Pitbull Brown Recluse  73' Ecofemenism Invasive Species  73' Sexy Shrimp  73' Canadian Goose Spacebat What Is This? Honeybadger Substitutions: Superior Porcupine  73' Walrus Overlord  73' Sun Bear  73' Manager: Rehmix

Man of the Match: Honeybadger (/an/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 47 53 Shots (on target) 6 8 (3) (8) Fouls (offside) 0 3 (0) (1) Corner Kicks 1 2 Free Kicks 3 1 Passes completed (%) 84 86 Crosses 2 3 Interceptions 4 4 Tackles 2 3 Saves 3 2

/soc/ v /hr/

Stadium: Konami Stadium

23 February 2014, 20:00 UTC

Attendance: 716

/soc/ 4–2 /hr/

Feet  25', 29', 32', 52'		48' Emma Watson  57' Taylor Swift
	Assists
Kickr  25' Crush  29' Haunter  32'		48' Taylor Swift  57' Lord Taengoo

Kit: Timestamp Swell Guy  56' Frosting Milkshakes with 3 dudes Roll Thread  74' Ideal Mate Kickr Vocaroo Crush Haunter Feet Substitutions: Rate My Cock  56' Use The Fucking Catalog  74' Manager: Sexcopter !!DmLjci16Djv

Kit: Celeb Threads Summer Glau User Was Warned Astronomy Bully My Dick Wikifeet Emma Stone Lord Taengoo Haunted Areum Emma Watson Taylor Swift Manager: Yutz !!fHFnmFa1CPT

Man of the Match: Feet (/soc/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 51 49 Shots (on target) 9 4 (8) (3) Fouls (offside) 2 3 (1) (2) Corner Kicks 1 0 Free Kicks 3 2 Passes completed (%) 79 74 Crosses 1 2 Interceptions 9 12 Tackles 3 6 Saves 1 3

/an/ v /b/

Stadium: Estadio da Luz

23 February 2014, 20:30 UTC

Attendance: 750

/an/ 1–0 /b/

Canadian Goose  86'
	Assists
Honeybadger  86'

Kit: Take It To The Vet Cat Person  72' Evil Pitbull  72' Biscuit Leopard Gecko Invasive Species Sexy Shrimp  72' Canadian Goose Spacebat What Is This? Honeybadger Substitutions: Brown Recluse  72' Domestic Fox  72' Skeptical Cat  72' Manager: Rehmix

Kit: Fuckin Saved Rule 34 2edgy4me  89' Chris Hansen Jimmy Rustler Trolled 2 Death TYFTA Giga Puddi I Told You Dog  72' James Holmes Triforce Substitutions: Moses Garza  72' 60s Spiderman  88' Manager: Cosa Nostra !!Kxz8F2s8bxQ

Man of the Match: Biscuit (/an/)

Match Stats
Possession (%) 51 49 Shots (on target) 3 7 (2) (3) Fouls (offside) 1 2 (1) (1) Corner Kicks 0 2 Free Kicks 2 1 Passes completed (%) 78 90 Crosses 1 2 Interceptions 4 13 Tackles 6 1 Saves 3 1